Turbos still not up to speed

Manawatu lost their fifth straight game on Sunday. This time, it was to Hawke's Bay, who were also sitting on four consecutive losses before the match. The score was 17-9, with only three people all up contributing ingredients to the ensuing alphabet soup: Hawke's Bay got their 17 from a try by Gillies Kaka and four penalties by Daniel Kirkpatrick, and Manawatu got their 9 from three penalties courtesy of Aaron Cruden.

Afterwards, Bay of Plenty flattened North Harbour 39-29. Bay of Plenty's points came from three tries by Lelia Masaga, one try each by Phil Burleigh, Luke Braid, and Lance MacDonald, and a penalty and three conversions by Mike Delany. North Harbour scored their points from tries by Jack Tarrant, Anthony Boric, James Parsons, and Nafi Tuitavake, a conversion by Luke McAlister, and two conversions and a penalty by Michael Harris.

South Africa finally crush the Wallabies

The Springboks keep their chances of defending the Nelson Mandela Challenge Plate alive after beating the Wallabies 44-31. The Boks scored their points from tries by Juan Smith, Gurthro Steenkamp, Pierre Spies, Francois Steyn, and JP Pietersen; also, Morne Steyn kicked four penalties and two conversions, Butch James scored a conversion, and Francois Steyn scored a penalty. The Wallabies scored theirs from two tries by James O'Connor, one try each by Will Genia and Dean Mumm, and four conversions and a penalty by Matt Giteau.

Afterwards, Manchester United continued their unbeaten run when they beat West Ham 3-0 at Old Trafford. Discipline was a little better with only three players getting booked, but it's the goals that determine each team's standings, and they were scored by Wayne Rooney, Nani, and Dimitar Berbatov.

Still no sign of Sonny Bill

Sonny Bill Williams is a former rugby league star who has recently converted to the 15-man code. Everyone following the ITM Cup tournament is anticipating his start for the Canterbury team, which has now been set for next week. Although he didn't get to play for Canterbury this week, he played one half of a curtain-raiser between two Christchurch-based clubs and scored two tries for the side he was on in that time.

While the curtain-raiser was unfolding, Wellington beat Northland 31-28. Wellington scored their points from two tries by Victor Vito, one try each by Sean Treeby, Julian Savea, and John Schwalger, and three conversions by Fa'atonu Fili. Northland scored theirs from two tries by Dean Budd, one try by Aaron Bancroft, and three penalties and two conversions by Lachie Munro.

Now back to AMI Stadium for the really important match of last night: Canterbury beat Auckland 35-16. Canterbury scored their points from tries by Luke Romano, Telusa Veainu, Robbie Fruean, and Sean Maitland, and Colin Slade kicked three penalties and three conversions. Auckland scored theirs from a try by Onosai'i Auva'a, three penalties by Matt Berquist, and a conversion by Ash Moeke.

Rub it in, why don't ya?

On Thursday night, Otago lost their fifth straight game. Last night, our neighbours to the south won their fifth straight game. The score was 21-16, with Southland scoring seven penalties off the foot of Robbie Robinson, and Tasman scored from a try by Blair Cook, a conversion and a penalty by James Marshall, and two penalties by Steve Alfeld.

This afternoon, Waikato did Counties Manukau in 39-3. Waikato's massive haul came from two tries by Tim Mikkelson, one try each by Aled de Malmache, Sosene Anesi and Sam Christie, two penalties and three conversions by Trent Renata, and a conversion by Dwayne Sweeney. Counties Manukau only managed a penalty courtesy of Tim Nanai-Williams.

OTAGO LOST AGAIN!

Otago lost again, this time to Taranaki. The score was 25-15. Taranaki's points came from tries by Beauden Barrett, Craig Clarke, and Andre Taylor, along with Willie Ripia's 2 penalties and 2 conversions. Otago's points came from tries by Halani Aulika and Hoani Matenga; Glenn Dickson added a penalty and a conversion.

Are South Park trying to make cheap laughs from the Holocaust?

Episodes of South Park have found themselves here for stuff like characters eating their vomit. Now, the episode where cats were made illegal because of a drug craze involving their urine is the latest culprit. It's not about the drug craze but more about how Cartman was hiding cats in his attic. Cartman mentioned in the episode that he didn't see any parallels to anything in history but I did: Anne Frank and her family were hiding in an attic for two whole years because her older sister got a call-up notice to some Nazi-run work camp. They had to leave a notice saying they were in Switzerland and then hide in an attic somewhere in Amsterdam, but the Nazis still found them and took them to Auschwitz.

Fulham didn't get beaten

And neither did Manchester United. The final score at Craven Cottage was 2-2. Brede Hangeland scored one goal each for both teams (the own goal went to Man United). Man United's other goal in the match was Paul Scholes's 150th club goal and Fulham's other goal came from Simon Davies. Just like in Man United's clash against Newcastle last week, there were four bookings shared among two players from each team.

Four down, nine to go

Let's recap Sunday's rugby action from round 4 of the ITM Cup: Northland may have really done Manawatu in last week but they couldn't even get a bonus point out of Auckland this week - Auckland won 26-13, with Auckland's points being in the form of an alphabet soup consisting of tries by Pauliasi Manu and Toby Morland, as well as two conversions and four penalties from Matt Berquist. Northland's attempt was literally half-baked - in fact, besides walking away with only half the points, they were stuck with only half the tries (the try being scored by Mikaele Tuu'u), half the conversions (the conversion being scored by Lachie Munro), and half the penalties (both penalties courtesy of Lachie Munro).

Afterwards, Southland became the only away team to win a game over the weekend. They beat Hawke's Bay 23-20 despite two of their players being sin-binned (namely, Tim Boys in the 33rd minute and Pehi Te Whare in the 77th minute). Southland got their points from one try apiece by Pehi Te Whare and Matt Saunders, and Robbie Robinson kicked two conversions and three penalties. Hawke's Bay earned theirs from one try apiece by Sinoti Sinoti, Bryn Evans, and Zac Guildford; Dan Kirkpatrick added to that with a conversion and a penalty.

The All Blacks have the Tri-Nations in the bag

But first, we've got Saturday night's ITM Cup match to report on. Wellington beat Waikato 26-14; Wellington's share of the grub was an alphabet soup consisting of one try each from Julian Savea, Daniel Ramsay, and Dane Coles, and a conversion, two penalties, and a dropped-goal by Fa'atonu Fili, while Canterbury were left with the scraps, namely a try from Jack Lam and three penalties by Trent Renata.

New Zealand won their game against South Africa 29-22, with the All Blacks getting points from one try each by Tony Woodcock, Richie McCaw, and Israel Dagg, and one conversion and four penalties by Dan Carter and the Springboks only managing a try by Schalk Burger and one conversion and five penalties by Morne Steyn. The best part of the match was late in the first half when the ref was standing too close to a tackle and fell down as well. He was unharmed, however, and play restarted with a scrum.

Only two points in it

Tasman took out reigning champions Canterbury 27-25 yesterday afternoon. Tasman's points cube consisted of three tries (one each from Tom Marshall, James Kamana, and Francis Smith) and three conversions and two penalties from Steve Alfeld. Canterbury only managed a points square consisting of three tries (one each from Telusa Veainu, Andy Ellis, and Steve Fualau) and two penalties and two conversions from Colin Slade. To make matters worse for the visitors, Robbie Fruean was yellow-carded for a breakdown infringement during the 48th minute.

Afterwards, Manawatu lost again but not to a 77-8 margin like last week. This time, it was Counties Manukau bringing Manawatu down 35-14 and the points all came from converted tries. Counties Manukau  scored their points with one try each by Fritz Lee, Mark Selwyn, Ahsee Tuala, Sherwin Stowers, and Tim Nanai-Williams; Baden Kerr converted all five. Manawatu only managed a try which was scored by Casey Stone and converted by Craig Clare, and a try which was scored and converted by Isaac Thompson.

Are those Japanese restaurants intending to be racist?

I'm a bit concerned about a dish on their menus called nigiri or nigirizushi. Nigiri looks and sounds suspiciously like a racial slur, so before you open up a Japanese restaurant and decide to put nigiri on the menu, think about this: a black person could walk past your establishment and be offended by the mention of nigiri on your menu. The word nigiri might derive from the way the ball of rice has been formed but it could be confused with a racist remark and could cause offence.

Taranaki beat the Bay 24-15

Taranaki got 24 points from one try each by Scott Waldrom, Jayden Hayward, and David Smith, all of which were converted by Willie Ripia, who also scored a penalty. Bay of Plenty only got 15 points and they came from one try each by Colin Bourke and Ben Smith, a penalty by David Waenga, and a conversion by Phil Burleigh.

Otago lose again

This time, North Harbour are responsible; the final scoreline was 35-23. North Harbour got their points from two tries by Malakai Ravulo, a conversion and five penalties by Ben Botica, and a conversion and two penalties by Luke McAlister. Otago got theirs from one try each by Halani Aulika and Joe Hill, and two conversions and three penalties by Glenn Dickson.

Can't find anything to write about tonight

But round 4 of the ITM Cup starts tomorrow - here's hoping Otago can bounce back from dead last and make an impression in the coming weeks.

Manchester United are 1/38 of their way towards getting back the Premiership

And that comes after beating Newcastle United 3-0. The goals were scored by Dimitar Berbatov, Darren Fletcher, and Ryan Giggs. Even though several members of both squads weren't selected for the World Cup, the discipline problems seen in some matches made their way to Old Trafford when four players were booked.

Round 3 is over

There's ten more rounds left in the ITM Cup. But before we get too worked up about where to from here, let's review yesterday's matches. Northland beat Manawatu 77-8 in what is the biggest margin so far in an ITM Cup game for 2010. Northland scored ten tries with Jared Payne responsible for four, Lachie Munro responsible for two, and Dan Pryor, David Holwell, Rhyan Caine, and Mark Burman only scoring one. On the kicking side of things, Lachie Munro got eight conversions and two penalties and David Holwell scored a conversion and a penalty. Manawatu only managed a try by Ma'afu Fia and a penalty by Craig Clare. Both teams went down to fourteen in the 26th minute after post-ruck violence consigned Lachie Munro and Doug Tietjens to the naughty chair. Also to serve time in the bin was Craig Clare in the 51st minute for a dangerous tackle.

Afterwards, Taranaki beat Waikato 33-23. Taranaki took their points from tries by Andre Taylor, Kurt Baker, and Scott Waldrom; also, Willie Ripia scored 3 conversions and 3 penalties, and Beauden Barrett scored a penalty. Waikato's 23 came from tries by Romana Graham and Save Tokula, and two conversions and three penalties by Trent Renata. Liam Messam and Romana Graham were yellow-carded in the 63rd minute.

Fastest try so far?

In the first minute of yesterday's ITM Cup clash between Otago and Wellington, Otago centre Josh Tatupu scored potentially the fastest try so far in the 2010 competition. But it was Wellington's day for victory as they won 35-22. Wellington scored points from two tries by Julian Savea, one try each by Jeremy Thrush and Alby Mathewson, and two conversions and a penalty by Fa'atonu Fili. In addition to Tatupu's early try, Otago also scored from tries by Chris Small and Fetu'u Vainikolo; and Glenn Dickson kicked two conversions and a penalty.

Southland still hold the Shield - again

But first, Auckland took Bay of Plenty out 11-6, with Auckland’s points coming from a try by Atieli Pakalani and two penalties by Matt Berquist and Bay of Plenty only getting two penalties by Phil Burleigh. Onosai’i Auva’a was yellow-carded in the 79th minute.

Southland successfully defended the Ranfurly Shield again by beating Counties Manukau 13-9. Southland’s points came from the game’s only try, which was scored by Jason Rutledge, and Robbie Robinson scored a conversion, a dropped goal, and a penalty. Counties Manukau only managed three penalties by Baden Kerr.

Round 3 is underway

Game number 15 in the 2010 ITM Cup was played yesterday against Hawke's Bay and Tasman. Tasman won 21-7 in a match that was all converted tries, with Tasman's tries being scored by James Marshall, James Kamana, and Tom Marshall and all being successfully converted by Steve Alfeld, and Hawke's Bay just had a try from Israel Dagg which was converted by Daniel Kirkpatrick.

Tonight's match was another home team win with Canterbury creaming North Harbour 44-22. Canterbury scored an unprecedented seven tries (three by Robbie Fruean, and one each by Sam Monoghan, Matt Todd, Telusa Veainu, and Isaac Ross), and Colin Slade kicked three conversions and one penalty. North Harbour only managed half that with Jack Tarrant and Josh York each scoring a try; Mike Harris scored a try, a conversions, and a penalty; and Ben Botica also scored a conversion.

Colombia and Venezuela restored diplomatic relations

Why did Colombia even agree to such a stupid resolution? If I were in charge of Colombia, or any other country for that matter, I'd recommend cutting off all ties to Venezuela because of Hugo Chavez and his crappy regime in which several violations and abuses of human rights have taken place. He is a dictator and he needs to be assassinated because of his cavalier attitude towards his critics, even going so far as revoking a TV station's license because of its support of a coup attempt against Chavez. This wanton silencing of critics is not on and the four honorary doctorates he has should all be revoked just like what happened with Mugabe in 2008.

Right on, South Park!

Their depiction of John Edward as a douche was right on. John Edward is not a real psychic and the only way that he's able is to guess at which of the audience members in each taping of Crossing Over have lost a loved one and who the respective loved ones were and all that other information is because the producers get that information from the people in question before they are invited on the show and then pass it on to John Edward. Humans cannot communicate with the dead, and just like many other reality shows, Crossing Over is completely fake despite the disclaimers given before and after each episode.

What a load of bull!

Researchers announced today that a diagnosis of Alzheimer's can be made with up to 100% accuracy using a cerebrospinal fluid test. That is complete crap because no test in the medical world can ever be 100% accurate. Such a stupid claim is only ever made by a quack who just wants to make money off everyone's suffering. What goes on in this test is that you analyze some of the patient's brain juice for amyloid beta or tau proteins. If you search for those proteins with a spinal tap, then apparently the onset of Alzheimer's can be predicted with a 100% accuracy. A 100% accuracy is impossible because every medical test is bound to give false positives and false negatives (but not both at the same time).

Another round over

And a new one will begin. But that will have to wait until Thursday. Right now, I have to put up the last of the results of the second round and both times, the home teams got pummelled, starting when Counties Manukau beat Wellington 31-25. Counties scored their points from two tries by Ahsee Tuala, one try by Reynold Lee-Lo, and two conversions and four penalties by Baden Kerr. Wellington scored theirs from one try each by Hosea Gear, Sean Treeby, and Charlie Ngatai, as well as two penalties and two conversions from Fa'atonu Fili.

After Counties continued their winning streak, the two most northern sides in the tournament went head-to-head as North Harbour beat Northland 25-24 in a match where Anthony Boric was sin-binned in the 67th minute. North Harbour's points came from a try by Matt Luamanu, two penalties and a dropped-goal by Ben Botica, and three penalties and a conversion by Mike Harris. Northland's points came from tries by Bryce Heem, David Holwell, and Dean Budd, as well as a penalty and three conversions from Lachie Munro.

WE KEEP THE BLEDISLOE!

The Bledisloe Cup is a trophy contested during the Tri-Nations. It takes place over a series of four matches, three during the Tri-Nations and one in either Hong Kong or Japan. New Zealand won the second match 20-10, and scored their two thirds of the pie with tries by Mils Muliaina and Conrad Smith, and Dan Carter kicked two conversions and two penalties. Australia's third came from a try by Kurtley Beale and a conversion and a penalty by Matt Giteau. As a first for the 2010 Tri-Nations, nobody got sinbinned.

Southland still hold the Shield

That's right, Otago weren't able to win the Ranfurly Shield this afternoon. If you don't know what the Ranfurly Shield is, it's a trophy that is contested several times during the ITM Cup. The Shield is subject to what's known as a challenge system, which means that the team that wins a game in which the shield is up for grabs becomes the new shield holder and they will have to defend it in all their future home games (excluding semifinals and final) until they lose it.

However, before the silverware was played for, Waikato beat Auckland 21-18. For Waikato, Sosene Anesi and Dwayne Sweeney scored tries and Trent Renata kicked a conversion and 3 penalties. Auckland's points came from tries by Onasai Auva'a and Peter Saili, and a conversion and 2 penalties from Matthew Berquist.

Southland then beat Otago 16-12. Southland's score came from a try by Jamie Mackintosh, a conversion and a penalty by James Wilson, and two penalties by Robbie Robinson. Otago had to make do with 3 penalties and the first dropped goal of the 2010 ITM Cup, all scored by Glenn Dickson. And speaking of Glenn Dickson, he got sin-binned in the 12th minute for lifting during a tackle. Sam Hibbard was yellow-carded in the 65th minute for a tackle in an offside position.

Two more games tonight

Two ITM Cup matches were played tonight. First off, Hawke's Bay and Bay of Plenty competed, and the better of the bays was Bay of Plenty, who won 30-11. Bay of Plenty got their points from tries scored by Taniela Moa, Lelia Masaga, Dan Waenga, Colin Bourke, and Chad Tuoro; Dan Waenga kicked a penalty and Phil Burleigh kicked a conversion. Hawke's Bay only got a try by Richard Buckman and two penalties by Andrew Horrell.

Meanwhile, Taranaki had an easy win over Tasman with a slightly bigger gap after 80 minutes: 33 points to 11. Taranaki's three quarters consisted of tries by Kurt Baker, Tyson Keats, Jarrad Hoeata, David Smith, and George Pisi; Willie Ripia landed three conversions and Beauden Barrett also scored a conversion. Tasman had to make do with a try from Vernon Fredericks and two penalties by Steve Alfeld. Scott Waldrom was the only person tonight to be yellow-carded, being given the marching orders in the 67th minute for a professional foul.

Round 2 kicks off today

That's right, there's going to be another weekend of dodgy set-pieces, some rather strict refereeing, and names you've probably not heard much of, starting with tonight's match between Manawatu and Canterbury. Canterbury won 27-26 and scored their points with two tries from Robbie Fruean, one try each from Sean Maitland and Telusa Veainu, and a penalty and two conversions from Colin Slade. Manawatu's share of the points came from two tries from Lote Raikabula, one try each from Tomasi Cama and Casey Stone, one conversion from Craig Clare, and two conversions from Shannon Paku. Reece Robinson copped a yellow card in the 55th minute.

There's more rugby ahead this weekend

That's 7 ITM Cup matches and a Tri-Nations test. That's an unprecedented number of potential sin-binnings. That's more action to record for the blog. And that's more faulty set-pieces. And that's me for the night.

One round down, twelve to go

Auckland won their game against North Harbour 36-14. Auckland’s points came from tries by Chay Raui, Daniel Braid, Brent Ward, and Dave Thomas; and Ash Moeke and Matt Berquist each made a conversion and two penalties. North Harbour had to make do with a try from Tom Chamberlain and three penalties from Luke McAlister. Tom Chamberlain was sin-binned in the 68th minute.

Then came the Battle of the Cook Strait – while there isn’t any trophy to be contested, Wellington and Tasman both played a good game but Wellington, who were the runner-up in all four Air New Zealand Cup (contested from 2006 to 2009) tournaments, were the better team on the day, winning 20-11 in typical Wellington weather. Wellington got their points from tries by Jeremy Thrush, Dane Coles, and Julian Savea, and Fa'atonu Fili scored a conversion and a penalty. For Tasman, Robbie Malneek scored a try, and Steve Alfeld kicked two penalties. Chris Jack received a yellow card in the 20th minute for getting off his feet in the ruck.

All Blacks are on the way to another Bledisloe

The ITM Cup squads are full of names you’ve probably never heard of but it can make for 13 weeks of some of the best rugby that New Zealand has to offer besides the All Blacks. While there are several All Blacks taking part in the tournament, they will only be making limited appearances because of the Tri-Nations series.

But back to the action. Waikato defeated Bay of Plenty 13 points to 10. Waikato’s points came from a try by Brendon Leonard, and a conversion and one penalty each by Trent Renata and Dwayne Sweeney. Bay of Plenty’s points came from a try by Tanirau Latimer which was duly converted by Phil Burleigh; and a penalty by Daniel Waenga. Jack Lam got sin-binned in the 68th minute.

Next up was the first of four Bledisloe Cup matches. This match was shrouded in controversy surrounding the All Blacks’ plans for the 80 minutes, which were accidentally leaked to several Australian newspapers. There was also controversy surrounding the condition of the pitch, especially as an AFL (Aussie rules) game had taken place there earlier that day.

Even if the All Blacks did have to redo their game plan, they came away with a 49-28 defeat. New Zealand’s points came from seven tries (two by Mils Muliaina and one each from Dan Carter, Richie McCaw, Cory Jane, Joe Rokocoko, and Corey Flynn), and Dan Carter also scored four conversions and two penalties. The Wallabies got their points from tries by Drew Mitchell, Adam Ashey-Cooper, and Rocky Elsom; Matt Giteau kicked two conversions and two penalties and Berrick Barnes kicked a penalty. Owen Franks and Drew Mitchell were sin-binned in the 22nd and 28th minutes respectively. In the 43rd minute, Drew Mitchell became the first Wallaby ever to be sent off against the All Blacks.

The home teams appear to be making a comeback

But not just yet. Game 3 of 94 was played yesterday, with Manawatu hosting Southland. The final score was 37-23 to Southland, who scored their points with tries by Mark Wells, Elliott Dixon, Jamie Mackintosh, Scott Cowan, and James Wilson. The last-named scored two penalties and Robbie Robinson converted three of the five tries. Manawatu scored their points with tries by Aaron Smith and Hadleigh Parkes; Shannon Paku converted both tries and Craig Clare kicked three penalties. The second yellow card in the competition went to Craig Mitchell who was sent to the bin in the 74th minute of the first game after just a few minutes on as a sub.

But it was the home teams that were to prevail later in the day, with Counties-Manukau dishing out a 29-13 defeat of Otago. Counties-Manukau scored from two tries by Ahsee Tuala and one each from Siale Piutau and Tim Nanai-Williams; and a penalty by Dean Cummins, who also converted three of the four tries. Otago scored from a try by Chris Small, and a conversion and two penalties by Glenn Dickson. In this game, Jonathan Owen was yellow-carded in the 29th minute. Shortly after Owen was back, Counties Manukau had to play another ten minutes a man down when Grant Henson was sent to the bin just before half-time.

Otago will need to up their game if they’re to win the Ranfurly Shield next week when they go up against Southland.