2-1 for another easy three

Rashford and Martial both scored a goal each to give Manchester United the winning edge in their game against Watford, which was the first to take place after the mosque shootings in Christchurch. Doucouré scored for Watford in the final minute, but his one goal was never going to match their two.

But there is also a more pressing issue: the month has come to an end and we must induct another to the Sick Phoque Club. This month, it is the people of New Zealand. I have this to say to you all: WAKE UP NEW ZEALAND! YOU ARE BEING CONNED BY RECENT ACTIVITY! According to our idiotic leader and her sheeple, we are a nation filled with racists, white supremacists, and Islamophobes. Comrade Ardern is using this hate speech to silence us and to change laws and in doing so is breaching our democratic rights as well as ignoring the promises she made to listen to the people of this country before making any changes. I can only wonder if our prime minister could be hiding a nasty little secret? Is she afraid of something else being made public? I believe she is using this terrible killing spree for political gain and also to cover for her own incompetence and lack of knowledge... Before Comrade Ardern et al all rush to crucify me - let me explain: There is an ulterior motive for the Prime Minister’s hasty action against legal and law abiding gun owners in this once free country. I (and many others) believe she wants to exonerate herself from blame for allowing and even assisting this terrorist to commit this disgusting act. What happens if it becomes more widely known that she was responsible for relaxing New Zealand’s gun laws in December. With virtually no publicity, the Prime Minister presided over an executive committee that introduced significant changes to the gun laws late last year. In her notoriously deceitful way, she cunningly used an Order in Council to avoid Parliamentary scrutiny. She then introduced the Arms (Electronic Transactions) Amendment Regulations 2018, which came into effect on January 20th, 2019. Under this sweeping new change to the firearms regulations, any prospective terrorist is basically given free rein to apply to become a gun dealer, get a firearms license, obtain an endorsement for a restricted firearm, secure a permit to buy a military-style semi-automatic firearm, or import a restricted weapon... All now easily able to be done online through the internet. Thank you Comrade Ardern for meddling in something you have little knowledge about and for having the audacity to do so in secret. Until this change was made, anyone wanting a gun permit or license had to physically front up to their nearest Police Station to hand in their application. If the gun they were purchasing had to be officially verified, it then had to be taken back into the Police Station for the check. As far as military-style semi-automatic firearms are concerned, the previous system was rigorous – anyone with an E-category endorsement wanting to buy a new gun had to visit their Police Station for a permit, show the permit to the seller, and then take the firearm back to the Police for verification. Under the law changes cunningly sneaked through by our supposed leader, not only can applications for restricted weapons be carried out in relative anonymity through the internet – including the vetting of military-style firearms by video – but an endorsement to own a military-style semi-automatic firearm, pistol, or any other restricted weapon, can also be applied for online. This is stupidity of the highest level and reflects very badly on our prime minister... but also reflects equally badly on our police who are supposed to act in the best interest of the public. What cop in his right mind could possibly think such sweeping and extreme changes could be good? Were the cops kept in the dark about these changes too -- unlikely as it impacts on their job and their ability to carry out the work we expect from them. While the current untrustworthy Government is never going to admit it these sneaky changes were obviously introduced in an effort to save money (probably due to extreme overspending on advisory committees and working groups set up for trivial things instead of getting experienced advice on this topic involving firearms). A Police consultation document published in January this year states that "76 district-based Arms Licensing Officers and 280 Firearms Licensing Vettors will be disestablished and replaced with a centralized bureaucracy based at Kapiti." Unfortunately, the link in the document to the Police website for further information is no longer working. This would leave one to presume, the whole firearms licensing proposal has been exposed for the idiotic ends and I'll think it really is and has been ditched. Facts are the killer used the internet to buy guns, Jacinda Ardern’s new law changes may well have contributed to the tragedy. Under the old system, this terrorist would have been required to front up to a Police Station and be interviewed by an experienced and specialized Police Arms Officer. There is a likelihood such a fanatical person would have been nervous and suspicious and alarm bells just would have started to ring. To add to the insult of sneaking through law changes that possibly attributed to this disaster this communist-style government is keeping the general public in the dark over what motivated the Australian killer to take the lives of so many New Zealanders. To ensure the public never find out the truth, they have censored the document written by this man and made it an offense to even possess this document - punishable by more jail time that is received by child molesters or sex offenders! Why is the government so keen to hide this information and prevent people knowing what this idiot's reasons were? What has this government got to hide that we don't know about -- apart from making the secret law changes that allowed this to happen? I personally believe Jacinda Ardern has betrayed this country. I also believe she has deceived the entire country in making such sweeping changes with no knowledge or understanding of the consequences. I personally think this terrorist should face the wrath of the law or be handed over to the Muslim people he claims to have the argument with. Let them deal with him as they see fit--we all know how that will end. Finally, I lay a large portion of the blame for what happened squarely at the feet of Jacinda Ardern and each and every member of her government and followers. No amount of Acadamy Award worthy acting, dressing up as a Muslim, changing laws without public consultation or hiding facts through the misuse of censorship will change the facts that you sneaked through law changes that allowed gun laws to be relaxed and now we have had 50 people killed. Don't continue to deceive the people when the costs of your deception is do high. Rant over - let the communist Ardern and her sheeple start the roast.

Kinda makes cents

A Timaru man has been banned from his local Burger King restaurant for two years after a drive-thru dispute over the price of a muffin on Thursday. The trouble began for David Eymael when he went through the fast-food company's Timaru drive-thru on Thursday morning to order his favourite bacon and egg muffin. Eymael said he ordered the muffin expecting to pay the $5.40 price he says was advertised as on a board at the entrance to the drive thru. But when he arrived at the window to pay, he said he was asked to pay $5.70. "I said: ‘well, the billboard says $5.40.’ I asked them why $5.70 wasn't shown on the sign ... I said I was only going to pay $5.40." Eymael said the person at the window then went to get their manager. "The manager told me the price had gone up, and I said 'aren't you supposed to correct the billboard?' By law you pay the advertised price." Eymael said he was refused service as a result of the incident, and the police were called. "They trespassed me from Burger King for two years. My favourite muffin ... I can't get it for two years. Nothing against the police, they do a great job of course, but they said I had to pay the extra 30 cents before I leave."

Here’s how this shit is supposed to go down BY LAW: according to the Ministry of Business, Innovation, and Employment's (MBIE) Consumer Protection website, a retailer cannot charge more than a displayed price. "Advertised prices must be genuine, and there must not be extra costs you weren't told about." THIS INCLUDES THE 30 CENTS THAT EYMAEL WAS OVERCHARGED. An important piece of advice comes to mind here: you don’t know who you’re messing with. That could have been me. In fact, if that was me, I would be claiming transphobic discrimination and demanding the entire $5.70 be returned to me, even filing a chargeback request with my bank if it comes to that.

This dress is literally lit AF

Move for Health

IT IS VACCINE DAMAGE, PURE AND SIMPLE

Here’s the truth about what is really going on:

It isn’t speech delay, it is vaccine damage.

It isn’t eczema, it is vaccine damage.

It isn’t MS, it is vaccine damage.

It isn’t ear infections, it is vaccine damage. 

It isn’t diabetes, it is vaccine damage.

It isn’t childhood cancer, it is vaccine damage.

It isn’t sterility, it is vaccine damage.

It isn’t ADHD, it is vaccine damage.

It isn’t SIDS, it is vaccine damage.

It isn’t Alzheimer’s, it is vaccine damage.

It isn’t autism, it is vaccine damage. 

And there are many independent studies that prove it.

A German’s view on Islam

This is worth reading because this is by far the best explanation of the Muslim terrorist situation I have ever read. His references to past history are accurate and clear. The author of this email is Dr. Emanuel Tanya, a well-known and well-respected psychiatrist - a man whose family was German aristocracy prior to World War II and owned a number of large industries and estates. When asked how many German people were true Nazis, the answer he gave can guide our attitude toward fanaticism. 'Very few people were true Nazis,' he said, 'but many enjoyed the return of German pride, and many more were too busy to care. I was one of those who just thought the Nazis were a bunch of fools. So, the majority just sat back and let it all happen. Then, before we knew it, they owned us, and we had lost control, and the end of our world had come. My family lost everything. I ended up in a concentration camp and the Allies destroyed my factories.'

We are told again and again by 'experts' and 'talking heads' that Islam is the religion of peace and that the vast majority of Muslims just want to live in peace. Although this unqualified assertion may be true, it is entirely irrelevant. It is meaningless fluff, meant to make us feel better, and meant to somehow diminish the specter of fanatics rampaging across the globe in the name of Islam. The fact is that the fanatics rule Islam at this moment in history. It is the fanatics who march. It is the fanatics who wage any one of 50 shooting wars worldwide. It is the fanatics who systematically slaughter Christian or tribal groups throughout Africa and are gradually taking over the entire continent in an Islamic wave. It is the fanatics who bomb, behead, murder, or honor-kill. It is the fanatics who take over mosque after mosque. It is the fanatics who zealously spread the stoning and hanging of rape victims and homosexuals. It is the fanatics who teach their young to kill and to become suicide bombers.

The hard, quantifiable fact is that the peaceful majority, the 'silent majority,' is cowed and extraneous. Communist Russia was comprised of Russians who just wanted to live in peace, yet the Russian Communists were responsible for the murder of about 20 million people. The peaceful majority were irrelevant. China's huge population was peaceful as well, but Chinese Communists managed to kill a staggering 70 million people. The average Japanese individual, prior to World War II, was not a warmongering sadist. Yet, Japan murdered and slaughtered its way across South East Asia in an orgy of killing that included the systematic murder of 12 million Chinese civilians, most killed by sword, shovel, and bayonet. And who can forget Rwanda, which collapsed into butchery - could it not be said that the majority of Rwandans were 'peace loving'?

History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt. Yet for all our powers of reason, we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of points: peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence. Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don't speak up, because like my friend from Germany, they will awaken one day and find that the fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun. Peace-loving Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Rwandans, Serbs, Afghans, Iraqis, Palestinians, Somalis, Nigerians, Algerians, and many others have died because the peaceful majority did not speak up until it was too late. Islamic prayers have now been introduced into Toronto and other public schools in Ontario, and, yes, in Ottawa too while the Lord's Prayer was removed (due to being so offensive?! To whom? Not to the vast majority of Canadians!).

The Islamic way is only peaceful until the fanatics move in. In Australia, and indeed in many countries around the world, many of the most commonly consumed food items have the halal emblem on them. Just look at the back of some of the most popular chocolate bars, and at other food products in your local supermarket. Foods on aircraft have the halal emblem, just to appease the privileged minority who are now rapidly expanding throughout the world. In the U.K, the Muslim communities refuse to integrate and there are now dozens of “no-go” zones within major cities across the country that the police force dare not intrude upon. Sharia law prevails there because the Muslim community in those areas refuses to acknowledge British law.

As for we who watch it all unfold, we must pay attention to the only group that counts -- the fanatics who threaten our way of life. Anyone who doubts the seriousness of this issue and just deletes this email without sending it on is contributing to the passiveness that allows the problems to expand.

Tattoo error at Homegrown

Police say a security scare which sparked a mass evacuation at Wellington's Homegrown festival on Saturday night turned out to be an "innocent misunderstanding". Thousands were forced to leave the dub and roots stage at Waitangi Park at 9:20pm, just a few minutes before a planned minutes' silence for the Christchurch mosque attack victims. A police spokesperson says they made the call to evacuate, not Homegrown staff. One person was spoken to and the area searched. It was initially believed the man had a far-right tattoo. "As a result police can confirm there has been no threat to the Homegrown festival or the public," police said in a statement. "While the concern in this case appears to have been an innocent misunderstanding, police would like to remind people to stay vigilant and call 111 if they see anything suspicious." The tattoo turned out to be traditional, police said. Homegrown spokesperson Kelly Wright told Stuff concert-goers only missed out on 10 minutes of music, and only the dub and roots stage was affected. "It was just completely out of our control, as it's transpired all four other stages kept going." Ten minutes is still long enough for 2-3 songs, and they could have been some rather decent ones. Too bad the pigs don't like dub and roots. They should be giving all those affected, including the man wth the "suspect" tattoo, refunds for their overreaction, and I have a bloody good idea as to where the money should come from: their pension fund.

A month to go ‘til Endgame

Buffalo x8, German Style

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!-den Streams 101

Micro-transactions from the good old days

AC/DC, Redneck Style

Too much of something is bad enough

An Irish drink for an Irish saint

This was how the Holy Trinity was explained by a snake-hating saint way back when

Trashing for the cash

Kia Kaha my fellow kiwis, this is not who we are

It's so orange!

Last Yogi for 2019, so let’s get it over

It’s a big one and it’s going to the anti-vax crowd. They are all smarter than the average human for they know the truth about vaccines: VACCINES CAUSE AUTISM. It’s a proven scientific fact and I know that shit because I, like many others, am what’s known as “woke AF”. If you don’t know what that means, then you most definitely ain’t woke, let alone woke AF. You are a human being, not a pincushion for Big Pharma. Wake up, you dumb sheep!

Next order of business: the game that Manchester United played against Arsenal over the weekend. They lost 2-0. The goals were scored by two people with unpronounceable names, namely Xhaka and Aubameyang. LOSING ISN’T FOOTBALL. MAN UNITED WERE AT THE TOP OF THEIR GAME IN THE FERGIE ERA. THEY WON 13 PREMIER LEAGUE TITLES OUT OF 21 IN THOSE DAYS. WE NEED FERGIE BACK. HE REALLY KNEW HOW TO RUN THE TEAM.

Hittin’ the big oh-nine like a blog

And we have a second Yogi to give away tonight. For those of you who are new to the ways of the Yogi, these are given in honour of he (or she or even they as the case may be in these PC times) who was smarter than the average whatever, just like the cartoon bear they were named after. Second one for 2019 goes to Boots Riley, writer and director of Sorry to Bother You, for a scene in that movie which involved a rap tune called “N**** S***”, which had just those two words over and over. That showed just how lazy rap music has become almost 40 years after the Sugar Hill Gang’s seminal hit Rapper’s Delight. The lyrics of the latter were in no way about black people’s feces, and the tune - let’s just say the people involved actually earned their keep given the resources they had back in 1979. For instance, there were no tape loops or autotune back then so the bass line had to be played for almost 15 minutes by hand without making a mistake. And the lyrics, while somewhat boastful like many a rap tune, didn’t need any political statements or profanity to make their point. Unfortunately, those days are over.

Nine years in, three Yogis to give

And the first one for 2019 is going to Jaswinder Paul, a Hindu man who ate beef labelled as lamb, but is smarter than the average Hindu as he really knows his way around the concept of principle - he wants a supermarket giant to pay for a trip to India so he can go home to cleanse. Paul bought a package labelled as lamb roast from Countdown Blenheim at the end of September, then cooked and ate the contents before discovering the meat was beef. Cows are viewed as sacred in Hinduism, and eating the meat broke his religious vow. Paul, who moved from India to Blenheim two decades ago, wanted Countdown to cover the costs of his "purification". "According to my religion, I have to go back to my country and do sacred things for four to six weeks, and be purified by priests, so I can continue on my religious path. It's a long process," he said, adding that he would have to shut his shop, Headmaster Barbers, to travel abroad, costing him income. He would also have to fork out for return flights to New Delhi, in India, alongside accommodation and food. A Countdown spokeswoman said Paul approached the organisation in September, after the ordeal. "Unfortunately, in September last year, an error with our in-store labelling resulted in a pack of our beef mince being sold with both beef and lamb labels, which was incorrect and obviously very confusing," she said. "We're deeply sorry that this happened. We very much appreciate and respect Mr Paul's beliefs and certainly there was no intent to incorrectly label the product." Countdown replaced the product and also offered Paul a gift voucher "as a goodwill gesture", which he declined, the spokeswoman said. Paul said staff told him the mislabelling was a mistake and offered him a $200 gift voucher. He refused, asking them to instead pay for his purification. And Countdown better pay up - they're already in heap big trouble.

The whole nine years

And it's hard to believe how far we've come over the course of this decade. For much of 2010, the iPhone 3GS was the most advanced phone you could get, but in 2019, the 3GS sucks compared to the XS and XS Max, and even the high-end Android models of the last couple of years are a lot more desirable than an iPhone 3GS. Also of note is the epic journey that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It may have been nearly eleven years since the first entry, Iron Man, but the franchise still has many a story to tell, like what will happen to the Avengers in Endgame next month, and will continue to tell those at the current rate of three per year with or without Stan Lee. And there are many more I won't go into just yet. Buckle up because the 2020s will bring innovation that will put other decades to shame.

This is why SVoD officially sucks ass

Lifting like a girl

Gay flag flying during Christchurch Pride Week

Farewell to a firestarter

May this beautiful soul smack bitches up in heaven til kingdom come.

Madness? THIS! IS!

Channel drift in a nutshell

Two wins to report on today

First off is Thursday's 3-1 defeat of Crystal Palace, where a Lukaku brace chased by a Young single was more than enough to dwarf Ward's goal for Palace. Next is Saturday's 3-2 outclassing of Southampton. Valery may have opened the score sheet, but the rest of the action in the second half is what counts here: Pereira brought the equalising strike, then Lukaku scored a brace which was interrupted between strikes with a Ward-Prowse equaliser.

Just an idea someone had

Sisters doin' it for themselves

Sisters share a very special bond. Being a sister means being part of a wonderful experience. These four sisters decided to document their experiences in a special series of insightful photographs. Click here to join the four women as they document their personal lives in a series of incredibly insightful photographs taken over four decades. It all began in the summer of 1975 when Nicholas Nixon visited his wife’s family. He wondered if the sisters would agree to pose for pictures. Heather, Mimi, Laurie, and BeBe lined up in that same order back then, and they have done so for him ever since.