Baby's last ride

As I have nothing else to write about tonight, we are going back to announcing the Bellend of the Month on the last day of the month instead of the first of the next month. The Bellend of the Month for May 2015 is Brandon Hoffman, a 20-year-old from Pennsylvania who was mimicking a professional wrestling move when he inadvertently slammed his girlfriend’s toddler to the floor, causing head injuries that killed the boy on the 5th. Hoffman is charged with involuntary manslaughter, endangering the welfare of a child, aggravated assault, and other offenses in the death of 18-month old Bryson Shoemaker. Hoffman was performing a wrestling maneuver that is done by The Undertaker known as “The Last Ride” at his Jersey Shore apartment. Hoffman had intended for the boy to land on the bed. In the move, the wrestler gets the opponent on his shoulders then throws him to the ground. There is no excuse for a 20-year-old grown man to behave in this manner with an 18-month-old child. And besides, professional wrestling is fake, even if the crowds' enthusiasm isn't.

Aloha not getting the aloha it deserves

The movie 'Aloha' opened in America this weekend and is loaded with Hollywood stars: Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, Bill Murray, and Alec Baldwin. It was filmed in Hawaii and showcases the beautiful scenery. But many native Hawaiian people say they will not see the movie. One glaring reason, the title. "It could not have come at a worse time in the Hawaiian community for somebody to nationally use one of our most cherished words for money making," says Hawaiian activist Walter Ritte, who says using the word 'aloha' for a film that has nothing to do with Hawaiian culture is insulting. "It is synonymous to the scientists coming to our most sacred mountain and using it for science without any concern about the sacredness of that mountain," Ritte says referring to the TMT being constructed on Mauna Kea. So what? This movie could actually be a good thing for the state - according to the Hawaii Film Office, the producers did pump millions of dollars into the state's economy. More than 400 local people were hired to help with filming. The producers also went above and beyond the tax credit donation requirement, by contributing money to three public high schools for their arts programs: Radford, Farrington, and Kailua. And it will all be worth it when it opens in New Zealand.

He needs a dollar, dollar, dollar is what he needs

That's right - an elderly man in Washington DC was knocked out and robbed over one dollar. Check it out for yourself:

Corruption to be shown the red card

Israelis were expecting some big news to come out of the annual FIFA (logo pictured) Congress this week. But they probably weren’t expecting this: in a bombshell operation, a Swiss law enforcement team showed up at the Zurich hotel hosting the annual gathering of the international soccer organization — and arrested nine senior officials. The arrests come after decades of corruption allegations aimed at FIFA. The arrested officials face charges of taking money in exchange for World Cup hosting bids, as well as taking bribes in exchange for media and marketing rights for major international tournaments. The allegations are damning, but frankly, they couldn’t have come at a better time for Israel. Until yesterday, much of the coverage of the FIFA Congress surrounded whether delegates would vote to red card Israel from world soccer. The Palestinian Football Association is introducing the motion to suspend Israel, accusing it of unjustly restricting Palestinian soccer players’ freedom of movement and claiming that Israel’s West Bank settlement teams violate FIFA rules. Israeli officials have called the effort blatantly political and said that the Palestinians’ complaints all concern Israel’s security forces — not Israel’s soccer teams. For Israel to be suspended, three quarters of delegates would need to approve the motion. If that were a long shot before, it’s even more unlikely now. Suspending the Jewish state from international play would have rocked world soccer’s boat, inviting allegations of anti-Semitism and double standards. Israel, to say the least, likely would not have gone quietly into the night. Besides, there is already something anti-Semitic about world soccer right now: the FIFA U-20 tournament logo for the upcoming edition in New Zealand has what appears to be a swastika pattern in the bottom. Check it out for yourself:

The Text That Crashed the iPhone

A bug in the way iOS handles certain unicode text causes the iPhone to crash when receiving a message. The string of text has been making its way around the Internet after it was first discovered on Reddit earlier this afternoon.

effective.
Power
لُلُصّبُلُلصّبُررً ॣ ॣh ॣ ॣ
冗

If you send the string of text to anyone with an iPhone, the device will respring and reboot. Jailbroken users will be forced in Safe Mode. If the Messages app was opened to the list view, then the Messages app will become useless as opening it will always result in a crash. Oddly enough, if you have the conversation window open already and receive the text, the phone will not crash; therefore, in order for the crash to work, the user must not have the conversation thread open (the crash works everywhere else including the lock screen, notification center, and banners). If you're stuck with your Messages app constantly crashing after receiving the text there are a couple of fixes. Most involve sending a message outside of the messages app (through Share sheets or through Siri). Below are two examples of ways to solve the issue:

1. Launch the photos app, send a random photo to the person who sent you the text, then go into iMessage and delete the conversation.
2. Use Siri to send a message to the person who just sent you the string. After Siri confirms and sends the message, open the Messages app and the problem should be resolved.

To prevent anyone from restarting your iPhone through the message again, you can turn off alert/banner message previews, or completely turn off message notification banners (Settings > Notifications > Message). No word on how long this bug has been present in iOS but hopefully Apple will release a fix soon.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Domestic violence

Troubled Chicago Bears defensive end Ray McDonald was arrested yesterday on charges of domestic violence and child endangerment after an incident in Santa Clara, Calif., leading the team to release him this afternoon. Santa Clara police said in a release that McDonald allegedly assaulted a woman while she was holding a baby. The Bears announced McDonald's release at 1:30 p.m. Pacific Daylight Time, roughly six hours after McDonald's arrest. "We believe in second chances, but when we signed Ray we were very clear what our expectations were if he was to remain a Bear," Chicago general manager Ryan Pace said in a statement. "He was not able to meet the standard and the decision was made to release him." Fair enough, but it's not enough to simply punish the players who inflict the abuse on women and children. If the NFL wants the good work it's done over the last year to combat domestic violence to actually mean something, it has to go after the owners and GMs who have long enabled them. For instance, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell ought to slap the Chicago Bears with a hefty fine and dock them a draft pick or two. Suspend general manager Ryan Pace for four games. Ban owner George McCaskey from the stadium for the first half of the season while he's at it, too, since it was McCaskey's enlightened decision to blow off the alleged victim when he gave the OK to sign McDonald. His conduct should not have been condoned like that. In fact, fighting has no place in any non-combat sport except for ice hockey.

Drawn but not defeated

Manchester United ended the 2014/15 season in disappointing fashion at the KC Stadium this morning – with ten men and a goalless draw against Hull City, who were subsequently relegated from the Barclays Premier League after Newcastle claimed the victory they needed to send the Tigers down. Steve Bruce’s men had the better of the chances in a lacklustre 90 minutes and while the home side rightly had two goals disallowed for offside, they were also denied by a couple of excellent saves from Victor Valdes, who made his first start for the Reds in place of the injured David De Gea. A frustrating afternoon for United was capped by Marouane Fellaini's red card for a studs-up challenge on ex-Red Paul McShane. Despite there being little riding on the game for United, Louis van Gaal stayed true to his word and fielded a strong side, featuring fit-again captain Wayne Rooney and Angel Di Maria, who made his first start since the FA Cup defeat to Arsenal at the start of March. The Argentinian took up a spot on the left wing, with Juan Mata on the right and Ashley Young behind Rooney. There was no Radamel Falcao after he picked up a knock in training, while Robin van Persie was named on the bench. Two other players per side were given yellow cards, but the real issue here is that Manchester United need to do better next season. Fourth place may be enough to get into the Champions League, but it won't win them the silverware. If LVG can pull it off, it will be a bigger comeback than when Pam Dawber was on The Crazy Ones last April.

1900 POSTS!

And Ireland have become the first country in the world to legalise gay marriage via a constitutional referendum. What isn't good, however, is that an executive is walking free after a prison sentence for abusing her powers was cancelled. Former Korean Air executive Heather Cho, who was jailed for a fit she threw on a flight over how she was served nuts, walked free Friday when an appeals court suspended her sentence. Cho, the daughter of Korean Air's chairman, was sentenced to a year in jail in February. On Friday, Seoul's High Court reduced the sentence to 10 months - and then released her on two years' probation. If she runs afoul of the probation restrictions at any point in the next two years, she'll be back in jail. Cho was working for Korean Air on December 5 when, as a first-class passenger on an international flight, an attendant served her macadamia nuts in a bag. Cho wanted them on a plate and demanded the plane go back to the gate at New York's JFK airport so a crew member could be kicked off the flight. I too would expect a higher standard of service in first class, but ejecting a flight attendant is not the way to address the issue. Instead, she could've said something like "excuse me, sir/ma'am, shouldn't you be serving first-class passengers their nuts on a plate instead of in a bag?" and they can sort out the issue without inconveniencing everyone on board.

Nut rage exec has been freed

But enough about that because Ireland will find out tomorrow if they have become the first electorate in the world to vote for same-sex marriage. Polling stations have closed, with returning officers reporting higher turnout than usual for a referendum 'more comparable with a general election'. There are no postal votes in Ireland but some emigrants felt so passionately they caught the boat home to vote. I hope they do legalise love, but whatever the result, the bitter nature of the campaign has revealed the battle going on for the soul of a nation. A former bastion of the Roman Catholic Church, Ireland has undergone dramatic social change in the space of just 40 years. Contraception was illegal there until 1980, couples could not divorce until 1995 (the only two jurisdictions with that same fault now are the Philippines and Vatican City), and homosexuality was only decriminalised 22 years ago. When issues are emotive, it is difficult to predict the result - the winning margin in the divorce referendum was 0.56%. But that was 20 years ago and the church no longer holds sway over hearts and minds in Ireland. So here's hoping gays in Ireland will one day be able to tie the knot.

Like I said, we'll see China on the dark side of the moon

China is considering landing a spacecraft on the moon's "dark side" in 2020 - a mission which, if successful, would make it the first country to do so. The planned mission will see the Chang'e 4 spacecraft orbit the moon before sending a rover to the surface, Wu Weiren, the chief engineer for China's Lunar Exploration Program told state-run broadcaster CCTV, adding "we probably will choose a site on which it is more difficult to land and more technically challenging... Our next move will probably see some spacecraft land on the far side of the moon." China successfully landed a spacecraft - the Chang'e 3 - on the moon in December 2013, becoming only the third nation after the United States and Russia to land on the moon's surface. While the side of the moon not visible from earth has been observed by various probes, a landing has never been attempted. They should look at getting a man there of their very own, which the US was able to do on six occasions between 1969 and 1972, and then maybe a human settlement (provided they don't screw it up and send the moon hurtling through space like on that show Space: 1999).

We'll see China on the dark side of the moon

That's right, China's planning to explore the dark side of the moon by 2020. More when I can get tonight's source material to load.

Flat shoes canned at Cannes

Film producer Valeria Richter, who has part of her left foot amputated, says she was stopped at the Cannes Film Festival for not wearing high heels. She told BBC 5 live the Clothing Nazis pointed at her shoes and said: "No, no, this won't work, you can't get in like this." Ms Richter, who was eventually allowed in, spoke after Cannes was accused of turning away women in flat shoes. Richter told the BBC she "couldn't keep her balance" in heels, after having her big toe and part of her left foot amputated. She was stopped four times on her way into the premiere of Gus Van Sant's Sea of Trees on Saturday. "They pointed their finger at my shoe and then were waving their fingers at me," she said. "It was quite obvious it was my shoes that was an issue." "Obviously, I could wave my foot at them," she said, "and that would make the situation a little awkward for them, because I had a visible explanation [for not wearing heels]". Although Ms Richter was eventually granted entry, she said "many of my colleagues who can't wear heels were rejected and did not come in." Seriously, why should one have to have a penis to be allowed to wear flat-soled shoes inside, especially in a year when Cannes is seeking to address sexism in cinema? The festival has a less than stellar reputation when it came to women's clothes (this year, believe it or not, is the first time women are allowed to wear trousers to their premieres), and this has to change. This crap may be OK in Saudi Arabia, but not in France. It's ridiculous that women in the Western world are still being expected in 2015 to sieg heil to male chauvinism.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: What passes for "television" in Cambodia

Seriously, don't bother. Case in point: this is Autumn Allen — an American 13-year-old singer who has been living in Cambodia with her father for the last 7 years.

This year, she was invited to a TV show called Penh Chet Ort (Like It Or Not) for a special Mother's Day episode. The hosts of the show told Allen that they were about to reunite her with her mother, whom she hadn't seen since her move to Cambodia. This notion of getting to meet her mother again left Allen in tears. Apparently the show thought it was a good idea buildup the teen's hopes and then crush them with a cruel reveal — Allen's "mother" was introduced as a cross-dressing comedian named Chuop Rolin. The producer was stupid, brainless, and heartless by playing around with the mind and heart of a 13-year-old girl in this way. They lied to this girl that she and her mother who she hasn't met for a very long time will be reunited on live TV, only to be presented with a cross dressing comedian. The cross dressing is also a sickening joke of LGBT people and it's all too common on Cambodian TV.

All television producers in Cambodia, if you're reading this, it's time to stop the senseless "comedy" of screaming and making fun of gay people (for those who don't understand English, វាជាពេលវេលាដើម្បីបញ្ឈប់ "កំប្លែង" ផ្ដេសផ្ដាសនៃការស្រែកនិងការធ្វើឱ្យមានភាពសប្បាយរីករាយនៃមនុស្សស្រឡាញ់ភេទដូចគ្នា). It's discriminatory, and it's not funny when lives are affected. Why would a Cambodian audience find it funny if I don't? The sketches are always similar with people screaming off their lungs, and then the cross dressing guy who would be abused and made to hurt. How is that funny? Speaking of funny, how's a woman like an oven? You have to heat both of them up before you stick in the meat loaf.

Own goal costs two points

A cruel deflection handed Arsenal a late goal and an equaliser at Old Trafford this morning, as Manchester United ended their home campaign with a 1-1 draw. The Reds dominated the first half and went into the break 1-0 up courtesy of a stunning strike by Ander Herrera, who received the only yellow card in the match. Louis van Gaal's side were no less impressive for long periods after the interval, too, and will feel aggrieved that Theo Walcott's cross on 82 minutes ended up in the back of the net via a deflection off Tyler Blackett. Still, the way United controlled large parts of the game will have pleased the manager and is further proof that this squad has what it takes to compete with the best sides around. An injury to David De Gea, which forced the goalkeeper off just before Arsenal scored, was less pleasing. Also less pleasing is the fact that Manchester United no longer have a shot at second, but they still have a shot at third if they win their game against Hull City and Arsenal lose both of their next two games.

It's now mathematically certain

Manchester United will compete in the UEFA Champions League in 2015/16. The Reds, who missed out on qualifying for Europe's premier competition last season, are guaranteed to finish in at least fourth spot in the Barclays Premier League after fifth-placed Liverpool lost at home to Crystal Palace on last night (all times local). Palace, with former United winger Wilfried Zaha among the scorers, beat Brendan Rodgers' side 3-1 in Steven Gerrard's final home match as captain. Louis van Gaal’s men still have an opportunity to finish higher in the table, but need other results going the right way. A victory over third-placed Arsenal on Sunday would put United a point ahead of the Gunners, but Arsene Wenger’s men crucially have a game in hand, at home to Sunderland on Wednesday, ensuring their destiny remains in their own hands. Second-placed Manchester City are currently five points ahead of the Reds with two games to go – the Blues travel to Swansea on Sunday lunchtime, before finishing with a home game against Southampton. If United finish the campaign in fourth, the Reds will need to get through a two-legged qualifying play-off to be in the hat for the group stage. The draw for the play-off takes place on Friday 7 August with the first leg to be played on 18/19 August and the second leg scheduled for 25/26 August. Let's hope LVG can win this one as well as the Premiership next season.

Boston bomber on death row

A jury in Boston has voted to execute Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, refuting his lawyers' argument that he was pulled into the plot by his radicalized Muslim older brother and overcoming Massachusetts' popular opposition to the death penalty. Tsarnaev said nothing when the verdict was announced yesterday at about 3:30pm EDT. He sat in his chair and swallowed, and remained expressionless as U.S. District Judge George O'Toole thanked members of the jury, some of whom wept. After he is formally sentenced by O'Toole, Tsarnaev will likely end up at the U.S. Bureau of Prison's death row in Terra Haute, Indiana, where he is expected to embark on an appeals process that could last years before he is finally killed by lethal injection. At 21, he will become the youngest person on federal death row. But in the short term, the sentence closes a major chapter in Boston's recovery from the April 15, 2013 bombing, in which twin blasts rocked the race's crowded downtown finish line, killing three spectators, injuring more than 260 others, and inflicting a grievous psychological wound on one of America's oldest cities. The explosions, on a local holiday marking the opening battles of the Revolutionary War, were the worst act of terror on American soil since 9/11. Let's hope James Holmes also gets put on death row.

BB gone bye-bye

BB King, whose scorching guitar licks and heartfelt vocals made him the idol of generations of musicians and fans while earning him the nickname "King of the Blues," has died at the age of 89. Although he had continued to perform well into his 80s, the 15-time Grammy winner suffered from diabetes and had been in declining health during the past year. He collapsed during a concert in Chicago last October, later blaming dehydration and exhaustion. He had been in hospice care at his Las Vegas home. For most of a career spanning nearly 70 years, King was not only the undisputed king of the blues but a mentor to many a guitarist including Eric Clapton, Otis Rush, Buddy Guy, Jimi Hendrix, John Mayall, and Keith Richards. He recorded more than 50 albums and toured the world well into his 80s, often performing 250 or more concerts a year. Sadly, there'll be no more of that. RIP BB.

First deflated balls, now a deflated fine

One particularly intrepid Patriots fan has set up a GoFundMe page to pay the Patriots’ US$1 million fine for Deflategate. On the page, Patriots fan Michael J. Whitman (who is from Spokane, where the closest NFL team is the Seattle Seahawks) said he knows the $1 million goal will be difficult to reach: "We obviously know we won’t reach One Million Dollars, however we do believe the fine is bulls**t and want to help anyway we can. So whatever is donated will be donated to the New England Patriots in help with the fine! As we venture with this, we will do frequent updates to show progression of this! If enough is made to make the travel, we will fly down there (on our own expenses) and deliver a check in person!" Do they need an extra million? Not likely. In August 2014, Forbes valued the New England Patriots at $2.6 billion, ranked behind only the Dallas Cowboys in wealth. Team owner Robert Kraft has a net worth of $4.3 billion, according to Forbes, who also tallied up Brady’s salary over the course of his tenure as a Patriot and put it at $154,779,500 (and that’s not including bonuses or endorsement deals). And besides, the fans weren't the ones responsible for the deflated balls, and yet some of them have already donated to the "cause". Every cent being put towards a fine for cheating is a cent not going towards a more worthy cause like earthquake victims in Nepal.

Crammers to uncram their coffers

US mobile operators Sprint and Verizon will pay out a combined US$158m after the feds ruled that they allowed advertisers to tack unwanted premium charges onto customers' bills. According to the FCC, those scumbags looked the other way when dodgy companies signed customers up for services without warning them that would be billed recurring monthly charges. Under the terms of the deal, Sprint will pay $68m in fines, while Verizon will cough $90m. Those figures will include $50m and $70m in consumer refunds, respectively. The shady offerings – often advertised as offering horoscope readings or "life predictions" – hid the fact that they were subscription services that were billed as monthly recurring charges. A portion of the charges were kicked back to the telcos – 35 per cent in Sprint's case and 30 per cent for Verizon – which is why they are being held culpable. It serves them right, because consumers rightfully expect their monthly phone bills will reflect only those services that they've purchased. This settlement will put in place strong protections that will prevent consumers from being victimized by these kinds of practices in the future. How strong a message the current fines will send, however, is unclear. Verizon's $90m fine will hardly make a dent in its pocketbook, having reported a hefty $4.3bn in net income in its most recent financial quarter alone, so maybe the fine should've been something with a b in it. Verizon and Sprint are not the first to be fined for their cooperation with cramming outfits. The other two major telcos in the States were fined for this crap last year: T-Mobile was hit with $90m in fines in December for allowing the practice, and AT&T was fined $105m in October. SO DON'T DO IT.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Deflategate

Tom Brady has been suspended for four games and the New England Patriots fined a record-equalling US$1 million (the fine equals the largest ever dished out by the NFL since they went after San Francisco 49ers owner Ed DeBartolo Jr when he pleaded guilty for his role in a Louisiana gambling fiasco in 1999) as the NFL came down hard on its marquee player over the "deflategate" scandal. The National Football League not only suspended the two-time NFL MVP without pay but also stripped the Patriots of both their 2016 first-round draft pick and 2017 fourth-round draft pick for deflating footballs in a key AFC play-off contest. The idea is that a deflated and thus softer football is easier for a quarterback to handle and pass. The Patriots' chairman and chief executive, Robert Kraft, has called the investigation "one-sided" and said the punishment did not fit the crime. "Despite our conviction that there was no tampering with footballs, it was our intention to accept any discipline levied by the league. Today's punishment, however, far exceeded any reasonable expectation," said Kraft. "It was based on circumstantial rather than hard or conclusive evidence." Brady's agent, Don Yee, also slammed the suspension, describing it as "ridiculous". He said four-time Super Bowl winner Brady would exercise his right to launch an appeal to commissioner Roger Goodell within three days, and it would be in his best interests to do so because if his appeal is successful, he won't have to sit out four games in which he could prove crucial in the quest for one of the two spots going in Super Bowl 50.

So tonight they're still connecting like it's 1995

In an age where the average US broadband speed is 11.4 Mbps, some 2.1 million people in the country are still using the decades old AOL dial-up to connect to the Internet. AOL reported the mind puzzling number in its quarterly earnings last week. About 70 per cent of Americans use broadband that is 200 times faster than AOL's dial-up. However, it seems AOL loyalists prefer to experience the Web like it is 1995. Even smartphones are more than a hundred times faster than AOL's meager 56 Kbps speed, or the lack of it. A 56 Kbps modem connection means the pictures download top-to-bottom, just extremely slow. Given the present day bombardment of ads, software add-ons, GIFs, auto-play video content, and more interactive sites, it is indeed surprising to see AOL having such a fan following. When will they get with the programme? Not only is dial-up extremely slow, you can't use the phone and the Internet at the same time unless you have a second phone line, and only one person can be online at any one time, so drop your lousy dial-up connection and get broadband. It'll be with it.

Two new starters, two goals against the hosts

Manchester United bounced back from three consecutive defeats this morning as goals from Juan Mata and Marouane Fellaini secured a hard-fought victory over Crystal Palace at Selhurst Park, boosting the club's chances of securing Champions League qualification. The Reds were made to work hard for the three points, however, after Jason Puncheon scored a deflected equaliser at the start of the second half for the hosts. Thankfully, Louis van Gaal’s men held their nerve and secured an important win that puts pressure on fifth-placed Liverpool ahead of their trip to Chelsea at Stamford Bridge, and Chelsea better win so the Reds can be guaranteed a top-four finish and van Gaal's job will be secure going into next season. Van Gaal made two changes to his starting XI by bringing in Phil Jones and Luke Shaw for Paddy McNair and Robin van Persie. The latter was not even in the squad due to a virus, while Angel Di Maria also missed the game due to injury. The only yellow card of the game went to Ander Herrera.

This is what we call a Muppets comeback

The long wait for Muppets fans is over: ABC is bringing back the beloved puppets in a prime-time TV series this fall for the first time in nearly 20 years. News of the new show, called "The Muppets", dropped this week as TV networks begin calling producers, stars and studio executives in advance of next week's "upfronts" — the annual ritual where broadcasters roll out their fall schedules for advertisers to score advance sales. "The Muppets", which features the Disney-owned puppets from "The Muppet Show" and "Muppets Tonight" TV series, along with the movie franchises, was considered a shoo-in for pickup at Disney-owned ABC. The series will be filmed like a "mockumentary" — similar to "The Office" or "Modern Family" — showcasing the puppets' personal and romantic lives in a little more adult setting. This will obviously mean it's going to suck. Only Chris Lilley can pull the mockumentary off, my favourite one of his being Jonah from Tonga.

Last Windows

Microsoft Windows 10, which will be launched for PCs this summer, will be the Redmond-based tech firm's last Windows OS version, said Jerry Nixon, a Microsoft employee and developer evangelist, at the company's ongoing Ignite conference in Chicago. Reiterating the company's "Windows as a service" philosophy, Nixon said the firm is planning no new OS version launches in the future. "Right now we're releasing Windows 10, and because Windows 10 is the last version of Windows, we're all still working on Windows 10," he added. Nixon said Microsoft secretly made its base for Windows 10 when it launched Windows 8.1 last year, and that with Windows 10 it will be pushing out regular updates to the OS instead of introducing new versions. Explaining how it would work, Nixon gave the example of how OS components, such as the Start Menu and the built-in apps, will be bifurcated and updated independently. Alongside, Microsoft revealed that Patch Tuesdays will be abolished, and the update cycle will be moved to a 24/7 one. Users could either opt-in for slow rollout, meaning receiving updates in bundles, or a fast rollout, where they would receive updates as soon as they are released. Maybe that's something Apple could look into - maybe release a Mac OS XI and just keep putting out updates for that instead of putting out more Mac OS X versions.

Mindy's out, Kara's in

Star who was named after Pam Dawber's character on Mork and Mindy? Check. Three seasons? Check. A network to air season four? Check. Well, it would have one, but Fox is breaking up with The Mindy Project. You heard right - the network has canceled Mindy Kaling’s romantic comedy. The show, which boasts a cult audience but has been dogged by low ratings, wrapped its third season in March. There may be a second life for the show, with a big upside. The show’s producer, Universal Television, is currently in serious talks with Hulu for multiple additional seasons. Hulu is a logical suitor, as it already owns the streaming rights to all of the show’s episodes. But enough about that because there's something definitely worth jacking off to next season - CBS has handed out a series order to its DC Comics adaptation Supergirl. The drama — which had a hefty series commitment penalty attached — stars Glee and Whiplash breakout Melissa Benoist as Kara Zor-El, who was born on Krypton but has been hiding the powers she shares with her famous cousin since arriving on Earth. But now at age 24, she decides to embrace her superhuman abilities and be the hero she was always meant to be. I say bring it on, because as the latest comic book show on the Big Five networks, it joins Flash, Arrow, and iZombie (The CW); Gotham (Fox); NBC's bubble drama Constantine; as well as ABC's Marvel dramas Agents of SHIELD and Agent Carter. While Constantine is considered a long shot to come back, a renewal of at least one of those shows per network would give each of the Big Five networks a comic show.

So much for this being United's year

It's official - barring administration or any foul play that might incur a points deduction, Chelsea have won the English Premier League. They are the first London-based team to win the Premiership since 2010. But Manchester United still has a shot at second place, just not a good one. If they win at least two of their next three games, then there will still be hope for LVG and his men. But even fourth is still better than what Moyes could do.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Microsoft Edge

At its Build developers conference in San Francisco, Microsoft said last week that Edge will replace Internet Explorer when Windows 10 debuts later this year. It was previously known as "Project Spartan." Edge will use an "e" icon similar to the one Internet Explorer has used since 1996. Microsoft operating systems chief Joe Belfiore noted that the "e" icon "now has a completely different and better meaning than it has for a while. Unlike Internet Explorer, Edge will support modern browser functions, such as extensions. Microsoft showed off Edge extensions for the first time at the conference, so it's definitely starting way behind rival browsers Chrome and Firefox. Seriously, people, just use Safari. Even if you don't have a Mac, there is a version of Safari for Windows.

They're at number 1, with The Magic Whip

It's not that easy
To get to the top

(woo-hoo) may not be heavy metal
(woo-hoo) but they made it to the top
(woo-hoo) Blur are back after 12 years
All of this time, we've been wondering what they were up to
What they were up to

But enough about that because Pam Dawber starring on an episode of The Crazy Ones last year was a much bigger deal as far as comebacks go, and also because another Star Trek actor has boldly gone where others like Spock and Scotty have gone before: her grave. Grace Lee Whitney, who played Captain Kirk's assistant on the original "Star Trek" series, has died at the age of 85. Whitney died of natural causes on Friday in her home in the Central California town of Coarsegold, about 50 miles north of Fresno. Whitney played Yeoman Janice Rand in the first eight episodes before being written out of the series. In her 1998 autobiography "The Longest Trek: My Tour of the Galaxy," she wrote that her acting career largely came to an end and she became an alcoholic. She wrote that she struggled with her addiction for many years before getting treatment and regaining her career with the help of Leonard Nimoy, who starred as Spock in the series and who also died earlier this year. She returned for the movies, reprising her role in "Star Trek: The Motion Picture," "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock," "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home", and "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country." RIP Yeoman Rand.

Reds bagged out on home turf

Manchester United were beaten 1-0 by West Brom this morning at Old Trafford, despite dominating the game, and a top-four finish in the Barclays Premier League, and by extension Loser van Gaal's job, remains in the balance. Chris Brunt's free-kick deflected off Jonas Olsson to stun Old Trafford and Robin van Persie passed up a golden opportunity to equalise when his penalty was saved by Boaz Myhill, and the keeper was magnificent throughout. On-field discipline was nearly as magnificent with just one player receiving a yellow card. But what wasn't magnificent was the Reds' performance. This is the third consecutive clean sheet against the Reds. Even more importantly, there is a clause in LVG's contract stating that if the Reds don't finish in the top four, then they can sack him. David Moyes had a similar clause in his contract. Even if they can't win the Premiership, they can still finish in the top four if LVG starts pulling his weight.

And after all, it's a Powerwall

Electric car pioneer Tesla has unveiled a "home battery" which its founder Elon Musk said would help change the "entire energy infrastructure of the world." The Tesla Powerwall can store power from solar panels, from the electricity grid at night when it is typically cheaper, and provide a secure backup in the case of a power outage. In theory the device, which typically would fit on the wall of a garage or inside a house, could make solar-powered homes completely independent of the traditional energy grid. "The goal is complete transformation of the entire energy infrastructure of the world, to completely sustainable zero carbon," Musk told reporters shortly before unveiling the Powerwall in a stylish warehouse space outside Los Angeles yesterday. Initially the device, which will cost US$3,500, will go on sale in the United States later this year. But the aim is to roll it out internationally some time next year. Germany is seen as a key market for the product - which is about 15 cm (6 inches) thick, 1.2 m (4 feet) tall, and 90 cm (3 feet) across - because it has among the highest take-up of solar energy in the world. But it could also be a huge boon for under-developed regions, where power is often unreliable at best, despite abundant solar energy - and Musk compared the potential to that of the way cellphone technology has expanded. "It's analogous to the way mobile leap-frogged landlines," Musk said, adding "this is going to be really great for the poorest communities in the world - this allows you to be completely off grid." Musk stressed however that moving advanced economies like America away from unsustainable fossil fuels was a key goal. However, the Tesla chief was coy when asked whether Tesla Energy would be a bigger business than Tesla Motors, for which he is best known. He dodged the question. Personally, I don't care which one comes out the bigger one, because they are both on the same page about the fact that we don't need fossil fuels - we have this handy fusion reactor in the sky, called the sun. If everyone was on the same page, there would still be hope for our planet. But as far as winning the Premier League title goes, there is no hope for Manchester United, or for that matter, any team other than Arsenal. Chelsea are at the top of the table with four games to go. Second is Manchester City, who are 13 points behind with four games to go. Third is Arsenal, who are also 13 points behind (the tie is broken with City winning on goal difference) but they have five games to go, as do Sunderland (who are in the drop zone along with QPR and Burnley). The only way someone other than Chelsea will win it now is if Chelsea suffer a points deduction or if Arsenal win their last five and Chelsea lose their next four. But Man United are still seven points ahead of fifth-place Liverpool, and there is still hope of them finishing second and from there getting the silverware back in 2017 if not next year.

Pooch war lands school district in the poo

The co-Bellends of the Month for April 2015 are those in charge of the Gates-Chili Central School District (logo pictured) in Rochester, New York. Said district is requesting a clarification to a ruling by the Department of Justice regarding a service dog for a young girl. So what sounds so wrong about that, I hear you ask? Here's what: the student's mother says her daughter needs a service dog with her in school because of a medical condition. She and the Gates-Chili Central School District have struggled over the financial burden of providing a handler for the dog. The justice department ruled the district must pay for the handler. As of Wednesday, the district wants the decision clarified. Mother Heather Pereira is upset and doesn't know why the school district is again refusing to comply. She says it's unthinkable. "They can't do this in 2015 to a little girl who is not a borderline case," says Pereira. "She has a life-threatening seizure disorder." Pereira says the Gates-Chili school district is discriminating against her eight-year-old daughter, Devyn. "I don't know why they're doing this to hurt me, my whole family" says Pereira. "I don't know why we've been targeted. I feel like they're trying to make an example out of us, but all they're doing is looking like foolish, heartless people." Devyn battles Angelman syndrome, a combination of autism and epilepsy. Her service dog, Hannah, helps prevent seizures and keep her on-task at school. For several years, Pereira has had to pay for a handler, a cost of more than US$25,000. She asked the district to pay, but they refused. "It's absurd," says Pereira. "Logically it makes no sense." Two weeks ago, the Department of Justice ruled the district had violated federal law. The agency found that Devyn can bring her dog to school without a handler. The district was also ordered to pay the family damages, but they want the DOJ to clarify and possibly revoke its ruling. Their statement in part: "the rules concerning service dogs that are at odds with the language and application of the existing officially published ADA service dog rules." Pereira says the district is breaking the law. She says she isn't sure what's next for Devyn. "I have to regroup and think about what we'll do next," says Pereira. Here's what she should do next: look at homeschooling or moving to a district without so many Nazis in charge. And if the district really need the ruling spelt out, IT MEANS YOU NEED TO LET DEVYN HAVE HER SERVICE DOG WITH HER IN SCHOOL, YOU NAZIS. AND YOU NEED TO PAY THEM BACK FOR THE HANDLER. IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.