Nothing but the tooth

The Bellend of the Month for January 2016 is Mark Walewski, a British dentist who splashed out on sports cars while conning the NHS (National Health Service) out of hundreds of thousands of pounds. 68-year-old Walewski, who pocketed almost £223,000 with a ‘systematic fraud’ at his surgery in Surrey over six years that may have involved more than 6,000 patients, pleaded guilty this month to carrying out a scheme known as ‘double claiming’, whereby he charged private patients for treatment and then billed the NHS for the same work. The dental surgeon, who had a NHS contract worth almost £350,000 a year, enjoyed a lavish lifestyle, living in a £2million six-bedroom country home with its own lake in the affluent village of Churt, near Farnham, Surrey. An investigation led by NHS Protect, which safeguards the NHS against fraud, uncovered the extent of fraud after questioning Walewski’s patients. It found the dentist had been ‘systematically defrauding the NHS’ between 2006 and 2012. The investigation also uncovered evidence that as well as double claiming the dentist may have been ‘up-coding’, whereby he submitted claims for a higher value treatment. His fraud may have also included ‘splitting’, which involves making several claims for a patient’s treatment which should have been submitted just once. Walewski was initially charged with 21 counts of fraud, but this was reduced to four in a plea bargain at Guildford Crown Court yesterday. Judge Stephen Climie warned the smartly dressed defendant his crimes could carry a custodial sentence. He said: ‘This is an offence of enough seriousness to warrant a prison term.’ I hope he gets such a sentence when he re-appears at the same court next month. Right now, he is on conditional bail.

Baby cut his teeth on wedding rings in an X-Ray

You never know where that misplaced thing will end up. A Seattle-area woman learned that the hard way after she noticed her wedding ring was missing on Thursday. But who was the culprit? Their 14-month-old baby. Imaging done by doctors at a hospital revealed a platinum wedding band lodged inside the baby's gut, according to Reddit user, iamclarkgriswold, who posted the story on the social media site. After being under observation for eight hours, the tiny tot was discharged and the parents were instructed to wait for nature to take its course. That means poop, people. "We were allowed to go home. If it doesn't pass naturally in two weeks, they will go get it," iamclarkgriswold wrote, explaining that doctors would have to perform surgery or use other medical methods to extract the ring if it didn't come out naturally. After leaving the hospital the family was officially under "passing" watch. This means everyone - husband, wife, the couple's other two kids - was monitoring the toddler. As the great baby-watch unfolded, Reddit users were abuzz with excitement. The couple dissected each diaper like a grade-school science project in hopes of finding the ring, and after much anticipation and bemoaning, the couple fished out the wedding band and posted a not-suitable-for-work photo of it as proof. But I wouldn't wear it knowing where it had been.

In honour of a revolution in the furniture world

Boxing Kangaroo? Why not Bombing Kangaroo?

Australian prosecutors allege a teenage suspect discussed with a British accomplice ways to pack a kangaroo with explosives before setting it loose on police officers. Sevdet Ramadan Besim has been ordered in the Melbourne Magistrates Court to stand trial on charges of planning an ISIS-inspired terrorist attack at a Veterans' Day ceremony that included targeting police officers. The 19-year-old pleaded not guilty to four charges relating to a plot to attack commemorative services in Melbourne or the neighboring city of Dandenong to mark ANZAC Day, the annual April 25 commemoration of the 1915 Gallipoli landings in Turkey. The campaign was the first major military action fought by the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps during World War I. Besim faces a potential life sentence in prison, and he deserves it because quite frankly, we have had enough of this crap. Terrorism has no place in our society.

The photos North Korea didn't want you to see

 

THE BIG REVIEW: Phone crashes

A URL, which is said to be an iPhone crusher, has recently made its way to social media where most people are posting warning messages about it while some others are using link shorteners to trick their friends into opening it. The warning messages are asking iPhone users not to visit crashsafari.com on an iPhone because it will crash the browser or even the device itself. “We tried this and can confirm that the website will indeed crash an iPhone 6S and an iPhone running iOS version 9.2.1 and a regular iPhone 6 running iOS 9.2,” The Huffington Post reported. Further, smartphone users have been warned that if they are using a recent iPhone or one running the latest version of iOS they are probably at risk. But what actually happens when you tap the URL, I hear you ask? Here's what: it will load for a moment and then crash Safari or force a reboot of your iPhone, sending you back to the home screen with everything else intact. Depending on your settings, you might lose some tabs, but it won’t do anything to damage your device otherwise, the newspaper claims. However, 9TO5 Mac, a technology website, claims that although the crashsafari.com is annoying but will not compromise the user’s personal information. It explains that the site relies on JavaScript to create a loop with the History API which means it will not compromise your personal information, adding the glitch works on desktop version of Safari, though not many people use that. Seriously, guys, don't open it.

Find the panda

Header takes the points

A late Charlie Austin header sent Manchester United tumbling to a first defeat in five games as Southampton snatched all three points at Old Trafford. Debutant Austin, a second-half substitute for Sadio Mane, nodded home from another Saints' substitute, James Ward-Prowse's, 87th minute free-kick to snatch the three points for Ronald Koeman's men. United boss Louis van Gaal made one change to the side that beat Liverpool at Anfield with Cameron Borthwick-Jackson replacing the injured Ashley Young who requires surgery on his injured groin. Adnan Januzaj made the substitutes' bench after scoring twice for the Under-21s against the Saints' second string in midweek. David de Gea made his 150th Premier League appearance for the Reds. But a loss is still a loss. The Reds are better than this.

Two great British ales in honour of two great British legends

Because cancer patients don't always make it to 70.

Bus lounge cause to loiter

As if the TPPA wasn't already a huge skidmark on the underpants of New Zealand society, large groups of teenagers are intimidating people, causing fights, and hurting businesses near Christchurch's new Riccarton Rd bus lounge. The city council has beefed up security at the depot, but shop owners say this has only moved the problem into the street. One Division St business owner fears getting his sign from the street. Another says he has "zero revenue" after 3pm, when the teens – gathering in groups of 30 to 60 – arrive. Police and a city councillor acknowledge the problem has arisen since the bus lounge opened on December 14. CopyPrint owner Selwyn Bradley said up to 60 teenagers could loiter in Division St during the afternoon. The new bus lounge facilities attracted them to the area, he said. Since the council employed security guards for the building, they had spilled on to the street. He and other business owners said they warned the council of such problems at various meeting, but their pleas were ignored. "It's a major detraction for customers now to come into the street in the afternoon. Everyone's talking about intimidation, even I'm intimidated to walk down the end of the street to get my sign. As I walk past the shop, the smell of dope [marijuana] would almost knock you over." There is a way to get those unruly yobs off your back: the Mosquito. Just push a button and it will emit a high-frequency sound that only they can hear. Or you could just get a gun and start firing shots. Classical music has also been known to work.

All pencils should be like this one

Booze without consequences

Scientists in North Korea claim to have invented a hangover-free alcohol, the Pyongyang Times reports. According to the newspaper, despite having 30%-40% alcohol, this new creation will "spare you wincing when you wake". The drink derives from a natural herb - Kaesong Koryo insam, which is thought to have medicinal properties. According to reports, the drink is made from "a type of indigenous ginseng called insam and glutinous rice, and cultivated by an organic farming method". The Pyongyang Times, reports the liquor is made of six-year-old Kaesong Koryo insam, and instead of adding sugar, it is replaced with scorched rice. Finally something good from North Korea.

THE BIG REVIEW: The wrong people dying

Over the last week, David Bowie, Alan Rickman, and Dan Haggerty have checked into the great hotel in the sky. And now, another has joined them: Glenn Frey, a founding member of The Eagles whose solo career included songs connected to "Miami Vice" and "Beverly Hills Cop," has died at the age of 67. Frey, a guitarist and singer from Detroit, moved to California as a young aspiring rock musician, and fell in with a group of songwriters, including Jackson Browne and Don Henley, the latter of whom became his main partner in the Eagles. During the Eagles' long, successful run through the 1970s and early 1980s, Frey wrote or co-wrote some of the Eagles biggest hits, including "Take it Easy," "The Best of My Love," "Desperado," and "Hotel California." After launching a solo career in 1982, Frey made a cameo appearance in an early episode in the popular 1980s police drama "Miami Vice" and penned a song associated with the show, "Smuggler's Blues." Another of his solo hits, "The Heat Is On," was featured in the 1984 comedy "Beverly Hills Cop." He died from complications from rheumatoid arthritis, acute ulcerative colitis, and pneumonia, the Eagles announced on Facebook. "Words can neither describe our sorrow, nor our love and respect for all that he has given to us, his family, the music community, and millions of fans worldwide," the band said in a statement. So why oh why can't Bieber be next?

Rooney FTW

Wayne Rooney netted Manchester United’s 100th Reds goal against Liverpool at Anfield as Louis van Gaal’s men claimed a famous late victory over the Merseysiders. The United captain struck with 12 minutes left when he smashed home from close range after Marouane Fellaini’s header had come back off the bar. It’s fair to say the hosts dominated much of the 90 minutes, but the Reds grew into the game after half-time before Rooney struck the killer blow, although it must be said that David De Gea was once again outstanding. In fact, so was the whole team. If this continues until the end of the season, then Loser van Gaal will be a loser no more.

And Grizzly makes three

That's right, a third celebrity cancer death in the space of under a week - Dan Haggerty, the star of 1970s movie and TV series The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams, has died at the age of 74. A diagnosis of spine cancer was reportedly made after the actor had surgery for back pain five months ago. His manager, Terry Bomar, said Haggerty died at Providence Saint Joseph Medical Centre in Burbank, California. The US star became famous after playing the bearded, rugged frontiersman, loosely based on a real-life 19th-century California mountain man, John Capen Adams, in a low-budget, hit 1974 movie. Three years later NBC commissioned a TV series, which ran from 1977-78, about a woodsman, wrongly accused of a murder, who flees to the mountains and raises an orphaned bear cub he names Ben. Haggerty went on to star in horror films, children's movies, comedies, and other Grizzly Adams-style works; also appeared in TV shows Charlies Angels, The Love Boat, and CHiPs; and worked as an animal trainer for Walt Disney Studios. Before Grizzly Adams, Haggerty appeared in Elvis Presley movie Girl Happy and 1969 road movie Easy Rider. Hopefully, Justin Bieber will one day join him.

The next goal could be just what America needs

First Ziggy, now Snape. Will Bieber be next?

United and United each score 3

Manchester United were denied victory by a 90th-minute goal after yesterday morning's encounter with Newcastle United ended 3-3 at St James’ Park. An early penalty from Wayne Rooney and a fine finish by Jesse Lingard put the Reds ahead but the Magpies fought back to draw level through strikes from Georginio Wijnaldum and Aleksandar Mitrovic. The captain then hit a superb goal that looked to secure three important Barclays Premier League points until Paul Dummett struck a deflected shot off Chris Smalling and past David De Gea with seconds to go. This carry-on is not going to get the Reds any higher on the table than last season. The best approach is to win at any cost. Same goes for the other 19 Premiership teams.

Sock Centipede

THE BIG REVIEW: Too much blue

Checking emails and taking one last glance at Twitter are now just as much a part of our evening routines as brushing our teeth and saying goodnight to loved ones. That last-check-of-the-day habit, though, could be messing with our sleep cycles. Research suggests the bright, blue light from smartphones and tablets can prevent our brains from properly entering sleep mode. Apple is seeking to address that issue with a new iPhone and iPad feature called “Night Shift,” included in the upcoming iOS 9.3 update. Night Shift will activate after sunset, shifting the colors on your iPhone display to “the warmer end of the spectrum,” Apple says. That should make it easier to fall asleep after scanning headlines before you get your forty winks. Amazon also introduced a similar feature to its Fire tablets called “Blue Shade” in December, which reduces the amount of blue light coming from the devices’ screens. So if you're looking to get an Android, just don't. At least not until they come up with a blue-blocker of their own.

Ground Control to Major Tom's grave

David Bowie has died at the age of 69 after a battle with cancer, his representative confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter. "David Bowie died peacefully today surrounded by his family after a courageous 18 month battle with cancer. While many of you will share in this loss, we ask that you respect the family's privacy during their time of grief," read a statement posted on the artist's official social media accounts. The influential singer-songwriter and producer excelled at glam rock, art rock, soul, hard rock, dance pop, punk, and electronica during his eclectic 40-plus-year career. He released his 25th album, Blackstar, on Friday, which was his birthday. But that will be his last, as the starman waiting in the sky has come to meet him. All we can do now is put on our red shoes and dance the blues.

Guess who's back, back again? Chapo's back,tell a friend!

In prison, that is. But you can never keep that douche in.

Can't believe it has already been a year

Riddle me this

This is what I think of the Kardashians

The hardest just got harder

A smart phone led explosion in personal data is driving hard disk drive capacities up and cost per gigabyte down. Western Digital's new 6TB WD Black hard disk drive comes with an integrated dual processor, working like a computer within the main personal computer to speed the data writing and reading process up by as much as 29 per cent. While aimed at the gamer, or professionals in need of high performance hard disk drives for inside their personal computers, the WD Black 6TB has a SATA 6 gigabits per second interface, this drive is also perfect for computers being used to store growing home media file libraries. It's ideal for storing the hundreds of smartphone photographs snapped over Christmas and the videos of sleeping grandparents. On these 6TB babies there's room for up to 1,200,000 digital photos, 1,500,000 songs in the lossy MP3 format or 150,000 uncompressed songs, up to 456 hours of Digital Video, up to 2,280 hours of DVD quality video, or up to 720 hours of HD video. With that sort of storage there's plenty of space to rip all your CDs and put them away, and download all your music and films, and still have plenty of room for the future. This is seriously the hard drive of the future. We're talking six terabytes here - LOTS of space.

Guess who's back, back again? Crash is back, tell a friend!

The epitome of any Gen-Y gamer’s childhood is filled with memories of vibrant platformers like Spyro The Dragon, Jak and Daxter, and Crash Bandicoot. It’s been years since anyone has heard anything about Crash Bandicoot since its last few failed titles. But now, a YouTuber by the name of Anisotropic is hard at work designing a fan-made reboot of Crash Bandicoot using Unreal Engine 4 — and it looks pretty amazing. For those who have always wondered what a new-age Crash Bandicoot game would look like, Anisotropic is making all of your dreams come true. Crash Bandicoot was first released in 1996 on PlayStation, and at the time, IGN reviewed it and gave it a 7.5 out of 10. The story of Crash Bandicoot is the typical good versus evil narrative where he and his sister Coco Bandicoot and older brother Crunch Bandicoot battle it out against evil Dr. Neo Cortex and his nefarious spiritual guardian, Uka Uka. Crash and his siblings have Aku-Aku - their own spiritual protector, father figure, and personified health-meter. Once Aku Aku disappears from sight, the next time you get hit by an enemy, you die, kind of like the dragonfly in Spyro The Dragon. To see this dude in action, click here.

Diary comes out of hiding

Anne Frank's diary, written when the Jewish teenager was in hiding from the Nazis with her family, was made freely available online on Friday despite threats of legal action over copyright. A French MP and a university lecturer have published the original Dutch version of The Diary of a Young Girl on their websites 70 years after she died in the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp, aged 15. They argue that the work should now be free because under European law, copyright on written works expires 70 years after the author's death. However, the Anne Frank Fund argues that it still owns the publication rights. The Swiss-based charity was founded by Frank's father, Otto, and it claims that he made such significant changes to the manuscript that he "earnt his own copyright". Otto, who was the only member of the family to survive the Holocaust, died in 1980. Yves Kugelmann, a member of the fund's board of trustees, said the words were Anne's, but after the war Otto Frank "merged, or compiled, the two versions of the diary that Anne Frank left, that were both incomplete and that partly overlapped, into one reader-friendly version. For the purposes of copyright, he is to be viewed as an 'author' of that version." The charity also maintains that the definitive version is one published in 1986 by the Dutch State Institute for War Documentation and therefore still remains under copyright. "Under Dutch copyright law, a work first published posthumously before 1995 remains protected for 50 years after the initial publication," the fund said in a statement on its website. It claims that a decision by a Dutch court last month confirmed that the book would remain covered by copyright. Bollocks to that. The words in the diary were Anne's words. Therefore, the copyright expired 70 years after HER death. We should not have to sieg heil (no pun intended) to the will of some stupid jerks who claim otherwise. Jokers like Kugelmann would fit better in ISIS.

Reds can has victory

Wayne Rooney scored a second-half winner as Manchester United got 2016 off to the perfect start by defeating Swansea at Old Trafford. The Reds' winless run had looked in danger of being extended to nine games after Gylfi Sigurdsson cancelled out Anthony Martial’s opener. But with just over 10 minutes remaining, Rooney flicked home Martial’s cross to net his 238th goal for United, moving him above Denis Law into second place in the club’s all-time highest scorers list. Though there was only one change to the side that drew with Chelsea on – Phil Jones replacing Matteo Darmian – the Reds began the new year in a different system, with Jones joining Chris Smalling and Daley Blind in a three-man defence flanked by wing-backs Young and Martial. This is what we want to see from Louis van Gaal and his men. And if we kept seeing performance like that, the Reds will be able to get the silverware. And maybe LVG can do what Moyes couldn't and prove himself as manager.

Watch me quit, watch me vape vape

Heavy exposure to electronic cigarette vapor damages DNA in cell cultures, causing genetic instability that could lead to cancer, according to a study by VA San Diego Healthcare System and University of California, San Diego, researchers. Moreover, even nicotine-free vapor induces this damage, indicating that other substances in e-cigarettes can damage cells, the study stated. The study won’t come close to scientifically settling whether e-cigarettes represent a great new danger, a harmless diversion, or something in between. It does provide more grounds for suspicion that e-cigarettes are not entirely benign, and carry health risks of an unknown magnitude. Worldwide attention has been focused on e-cigarettes as a possible means of weaning smokers off tobacco, or alternatively as a new public health menace. But since e-cigarettes became popular scarcely a decade ago, there hasn’t been time to collect long-term evidence, such as the population studies that linked smoking to lung cancer. But seriously, people, it's not wise to swap one addiction for another.

It's the whole year that counts, not just the last week