Free stuff for all

How people in the ghetto foil the paparazzi

But that whale tail

 

Charging with Rune Power

Late hit by McBurnie snatches victory away

Happens every single time

How the Muggles foil the paparazzi

Rainbow steps

Kitten computer

Rude Britannia

#TDoR2019

You’re gonna need a bigger pot

OK boomer

MELISSA DISSECTS: MoneyMamma101’s Consequences Chart

These are two versions of a chart of house rules and the consequences for breaking them. These are just examples but they can be re-tailored to suit your family, for instance you might find the “911” consequence in the red section a bit harsh and in need of replacing with something like a week’s grounding or something else that doesn’t involve calling the police, let alone on a number that should only be used in an emergency and would likely have to be changed out if you’re not based in the North American Numbering Plan area (which consists of the USA, Canada, the Dominican Republic, Sint Maarten, and the former British West Indies). There are a few other things that need to be said about this:

1. “Be kind and respectful” in the orange section is pretty much redundant, as a lot of the behaviour this entails is already covered elsewhere on the chart. That being said, the higher penalty (grounded for 24 hours) would be suited to multiple violations in the space of a day or a few days.
2. In the top chart, the metric given for which TV programming is and isn’t allowed is “like Adult Swim”. That’s not necessarily an ideal way of putting it. For every Rick and Morty or Aqua Teen Hunger Force or any similar show its competitors are putting out for that demographic, there will inevitably be worse out there like hardcore pornography, which doesn’t have quite the same appeal as programming typical of Adult Swim. Watching pornography would more likely be dealt with as “misuse of equipment”, also in the orange section.
3. The bottom chart has a rule that the bedroom door is to stay open. Unless you suspect that something really untoward (jacking off doesn’t count but drug use or cutting most definitely does) is taking place in there, WHY THE ACTUAL SHOULD IT?
4. The green section could be trimmed a bit. There is a line for “do not be mean with your words” and lines for each of “no talking back”, “no cursing”, and “no yelling or screaming”, all of which could in a broader sense of the term be considered being mean with your words. I would change this to “do not be mean with your words (this includes swearing, talking back, name-calling, and yelling and screaming)”.
5. The red section in the top chart has a provision that no hacking or coding is to take place without authorisation which is to be obtained separately for each instance. Case-by-case authorisation is understandable as no two instances of computer programming are the same - fixing that one omitted semicolon is not the same as writing a virus which could take down the entire Internet. But would the Command Prompt application (known as Terminal in macOS and Linux) count? And where would the line between "misuse" and "hacking" be drawn?
6. I would include an extra chore for obtaining a certain number of time-outs in one day (absolute maximum of _ time-outs per day - extra chore to be done immediately following _ and subsequent time outs) and an early bedtime or loss of privilege if all the penalty chores that day are used up (do not exhaust the extra chore bucket - straight to bed after next blue offence).

Doin’ it for the deer bones

The 80s called, they want their mullets back

The cloud looks like Iceland

Way to burn that rubber

Pröpper’s mistake props up Reds

All the more reason to skip school

  

It always pays to do your research

Dicking around with signs

November in a nutshell

The Red is strong in His Orangeness

Mayonnaise overload

Steve would have killed it as a Pokémon trainer

Cherries were king on the day

How to make your mug your mug

Soviet Master Race in action

Movies nixed from the Mile High Club

The Sick Phoque Club is upon us yet again; October 2019’s inductee is Delta Air Lines. Near the end of Booksmart, a tense bathroom kiss between Amy, the film's timid, justice-minded lead, and Hope, her high school's "basic hot girl", turns into more: hidden from a house party outside, they engage in a hookup that's been hailed as an unusually frank, on-screen portrayal of sex between two women. But if you watch it on a Delta Air Lines flight, the R-rated high school comedy will skip right through that scene. Reportedly, the in-flight cut also passes over the words "vagina" and "genitals", an exchange about a lesbian sex act, talk of a urinary tract infection, and a bit in which Amy and her friend watch porn in the back of a ride-share. Amid calls of censorship, those edits - made by an outside company that works with the airline - are drawing the ire and confusion of passengers and Hollywood insiders alike, in what's at least the fourth instance when same-sex romance has been stripped from an in-flight Delta movie in recent years. "If it's not X-rated, surely it's acceptable on an airplane," director Olivia Wilde said at an awards show on Sunday night. "There's insane violence of bodies being smashed in half [in other movies], and yet a love scene between two women is censored from the film. It's such an integral part of this character's journey. I don't understand it." Neither do I. They have actual live sex on some flights (it’s called the Mile High Club), so why take it out of the in-flight entertainment?