Principal's being a bully, muli muli

If you've watched the TV series Jonah From Tonga, you would know that an anti-bullying song called "Don't Be A Bully" forms part of the plot. One line in the first verse states that just 'cos a kid's got a different colour hair don't mean you can be a bully. Sadly, that message didn't get through to Chad Holden, who is the Bellend of the Month for August 2014. Holden is the principal of a school in Muscle Shoals, Alabama, and he sent a student home this month just for having red hair. The reason: her hair color was deemed "too distracting." The student, Hayleigh Black, said she has been dyeing her hair the same red hue for the last three years. "I have never had anybody come up to me and say, 'Maybe you shouldn't have this colour,' or, 'Do you think that's a bad color,'" Hayleigh said. Her mother said she was shocked to get a phone call to come pick her up - less than 30 minutes after dropping her off on the first day of school. "Nothing was ever said last year," said Kim Boyd. "Never got any calls, never sent home, anything saying it had to be changed up until today." Hayleigh is an A and B student, a member of the marching band, and has even represented her school on various events in and out of state, all while donning her red hair. "I understand sending kids home for pink or purple or blue, but Hayleigh is red, and he argued it was not a natural shade of red," said Boyd. According to the student code of conduct book, it is up to the discretion of the principal or assistant principal to determine disciplinary actions pertaining to "disruptive hair style or colour." "He said he had already sent home two other ones for that problem, even though theirs were pink and orange, and not any shade of red. He said he had to be consistent; she would have to get rid of the red or go to a darker red," Boyd said. Chad Holden, should you ever come across this post, click on this link, listen to the whole song from start to finish, and leave the poor ranga kid alone.

Teenager psyched out over a missing phone

The lawyer of a young man sentenced for selling an iPhone he found says his client has been stuck in "hell" for almost two weeks. By that he means, Param Sharma ended up in a psych ward instead of a regular jail cell. The 18-year-old was convicted on the 18th of a charge related to selling an iPhone he found on Craigslist. His lawyer Andrew Shalaby says the charge was a misdemeanor and rarely used: failure to make a reasonable effort to find the owner of the phone. The judge sentenced Sharma to 90 days at the Santa Rita Jail. That's when things went south for Sharma. He somehow ended up in the psych ward. "He's in block F, according to the Sergeant here, the worst of the worst in the section of a psych ward," Shalaby said, adding "somebody tried to kill him and I was really, really upset." Of course he should be punished for not attempting to locate the iPhone's owner - losing it in the first place had already caused its owner enough inconvenience. But sending him to a psych ward where another patient has already made an attempt on his life is disproportionate. There is, however, a silver lining - late last night, without any word why, jailers told Shalaby that Sharma would be moved to a regular cell. Then the court's administrative staff said they had suddenly found a missing file relating to the case, which the DA's office had the whole time.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Lucy

Scarlett Johansson + Morgan Freeman = total greatness. Lucy has been compared to various films (common examples include Akira, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Matrix, The Tree of Life, Transcendence, and especially Limitless which also features the 10% of brain myth as a major plotline), but it has already become a success in its own right, with a time-of-posting gross of US$217 million against a budget of $40 million. Critical reception has been largely favourable too - on review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes, the film holds a score of 65%, based on 185 reviews, with a rating average of 6.1 out of 10; on review aggregator Metacritic, it has a rating score of 61 out of 100, based on 41 reviews, indicating "generally favorable reviews"; and audiences polled by CinemaScore gave the film a C+ grade on a scale of A to F. With that in mind, I urge you to go see this if you haven't already done so.

Hello Human???

That's right, people of Earth. Hot news out of Japan: Hello Kitty — the stuffed animal that looks like a cat, talks like a cat, and is named after a cat — actually isn't a cat at all. The British "perpetual third-grader" is also apparently a twin, a Scorpio (birthdate November 1), and a big fat fraud. The earth shattering disclosure was made in advance of the first Hello Kitty-con, set to take place in Los Angeles this fall. This is the last thing the world needs right now - Robin Williams died two and a half weeks ago, Manchester United's new manager hasn't won a single Premier League game yet, and now this crap. Speaking of crap, a disgusting act of vandalism forced officials in St. Thomas, Ontario to close the Jaycees public swimming pool yesterday morning (Eastern Daylight Time). Officials say the facility on Inkerman Street is off limits after someone threw dog feces into the pool overnight. St. Thomas Police believe it happened sometime between Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. In a police release, they called the incident a “senseless act of mischief”. The pool is now closed for the season, three days before it was supposed to. Whoever did this should be traded for Robin Williams.

Kids + guns = danger

A 9-year-old girl learning to fire a submachine gun accidentally killed her instructor at a shooting range when the weapon recoiled over her shoulder, according to Arizona authorities. The instructor, 39-year-old Charles Vacca, died at a hospital late Monday night (Mountain Standard Time) after he was shot in the head. The Mohave County Sheriff's Office said the girl was with her parents. The website of Bullets and Burgers, the shooting range where the accident happened, says children between the ages of 8 and 17 can shoot a weapon if accompanied by a parent or guardian. Police identified the weapon as an Uzi, an Israeli-made submachine gun. Cell phone video released by authorities shows the moments before the fatal shots were fired - in the video, Vacca and the girl are at an outdoor range. The wind blows a target in the distance. Vacca shows the child how to hold the gun then helps her establish her grip and her stance. She fires one round and dirt flies above the target. Vacca adjusts the Uzi, places his right hand on her back and his left under her right arm. She fires several rounds in rapid succession and the gun kicks to the left as she loses control. The video ends before the fatal head shot. In releasing the video, authorities did not identify who made it, but this is why kids shouldn't be playing with guns. It's just not safe.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Not beating Sunderland

Manchester United and Sunderland had to settle for a point apiece yesterday morning after Juan Mata’s first-half strike was soon cancelled out by Jack Rodwell’s header. The Reds took the lead at the Stadium of Light after 16 minutes when Mata stabbed home a cross from Antonio Valencia, but the Black Cats drew level 15 minutes later when Rodwell – making his home debut following his move from Manchester City – headed home from a corner. Two Reds players received yellow cards, but the real issue here is Louis van Gaal not pulling his weight - he needs to bring in the three-pointers. Even David Moyes has been able to win games for Manchester United. And we're only two games in, so it's not too late.

Windows 9 about to say nein to common sense

Microsoft is planning to release a preview build of Windows 9 at a special press event on September 30, according to sources familiar with Microsoft’s plans. The date could still change, but September 30 lines up neatly with previous leaks that suggested a late-September or early-October release date for the Windows 9 technology preview. It’s still unclear exactly how many of Windows 9′s hotly anticipated features will actually make it into the September 30 release — but hopefully we’ll at least see the resurrected Start menu and Metro apps running on the Desktop. We wouldn’t be surprised if you have to wait a little longer for the consumer preview of Windows 9 before you get to play with your new Cortana digital assistant, however. But I couldn't care less. Macs are the way to go when it comes to your next computer, not that dodgy Windows crap. Remember, people, if it's not an Apple, it's crapple.

Worming your way to a new you

An American mother gave her daughter a pill filled with tapeworm eggs to help her lose weight quickly... and didn't tell her. The unnamed mother thought she was doing best for her child because there was a beauty pageant in a couple of weeks and she wanted her to look her best. But weeks later, the girl is in agonising pain and a scan at the hospital shows there is something live in her tummy... and she is not pregnant. Shortly after being given a stomach drug to help diagnosis, the girl rushes to the toilet and amid her screams, suddenly all is revealed. The toilet bowl is a seething mass of tapeworms. Caught on camera, paediatric nurse Maricar Cabral-Osorio is clearly close to being sick as she tells viewers: "It was a toilet bowl full of tapeworms. It was so gross and she had pooped all these tapeworms. There were a couple that were very long and wiggling around trying to get out of the toilet bowl." The incident at a Florida hospital was featured in an episode of the medical documentary Untold Stories of the ER where nurse Cabral-Osorio is seen re-assuring the girl that she is now going to be okay. The nurse adds: "We were wondering how did she get those tapeworms, and then you saw the mom turn white. She was apologizing to the girl. It's like 'I'm so sorry. You know, I did it just to make you a little skinnier. You needed some help before we went on to the pageant.'" The pill, for the record, was bought in Mexico. That's just wrong. I would never feed tapeworm eggs to anyone, especially someone who doesn't deserve it. If you want to put that crap in your kid's digestive system, you own the consequences of that course of action, just as you would any other decision you make.

The chain ends at 458

A Florida man put an end to a “pay it forward” streak at a local Starbucks because he said he thinks people were participating out of “guilt,” not “generosity.” Peter Schorsch, a blogger, drove to the Starbucks drive-thru in St. Petersburg, Florida, on Thursday after hearing about the "pay-it-forward' phenomenon there that ended with customer No. 458. After he ordered two Venti Mocha Frappuccinos, the barista told him his first drink had been paid for by the previous customer and asked if he would like to pay for the next customer. “I told him no,” Schorsch, of St. Petersburg, told ABC News. “When the barista asks you to pay it forward, it is no longer spontaneous.” Though Schorsch didn't pay for the next customer at the drive-thru, he said he tipped the barista $100. “I’m really not trying to be a Grinch,” Schorsch said. “I know things are hard for baristas and I am willing to help people.” “I just don’t want to be forced into doing something,” said Schorsch, who is also a part-time political consultant. “This is turning into a social phenomenon and I had to put an end to it.” Seriously, who wants to be forced into doing something? Remember Prohibition? Or the protests surrounding conscription during Vietnam? And besides, there was a free coffee in it, so I don't blame him for deciding to end the chain. I would've done the same thing.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: The Expendables 3

There was nothing expendable about this one (well, maybe except for the absence of Chuck Norris). Even though the action reportedly had to be watered down to receive lower classifications from various film censorship bodies worldwide, it didn't feel watered down. Also, judoka-turned-UFC champion Ronda Rousey, who played nightclub bouncer Luna, was a nice piece of ass. Ticket sales so far have been down compared to comparable periods in the history of the first two, and critical reception isn't very favourable, but this is one you still should see.

Insanely great phones going insanely cheap

As the release of the alleged Apple iPhone 6 inevitably nears, retailers are dropping the prices of the iPhone 5S and 5C. A Walmart spokesperson told CNET that starting Thursday at 9 a.m. local times, the retailer is dropping the price of the iPhone 5S to $79 and the iPhone 5C to a mere 97 cents. The iPhone 5S was previously $99 and the 5C was $29. These new prices apply to all available colors of the smartphones and can only be used with a two-year contract on AT&T, Verizon, Sprint, or US Cellular. Typically, as Apple gears up to release its new iPhone, retailers cut prices of the current phones they have in stock. Weeks before the iPhone 5S and 5C debuted last September, the price of the iPhone 5 plunged at retailers like Walmart, Best Buy, and Target. The lowered cost of the iPhone 5S and 5C isn't the only indication that the alleged iPhone 6 is forthcoming. The rumor mill has been heating up over the past couple of months with leaked images of both a 4.7-inch and a larger 5.5-inch phone with an enhanced camera and reversible USB cable. Speculation pegs the release date for September, which is not as long as the wait for Robin Williams' final film Absolutely Anything. Speaking of which, Williams' final film performance will make it to the big screen after all. Comments by the late comic actor’s “Absolutely Anything” co-star Simon Pegg had led to speculation that Williams had not finished voice work for the upcoming comedy and that director Terry Jones would have to recast the part. But the filmmakers squashed the rumors, saying that it would be Williams’ trademark voice heard coming out of a talking dog when the movie hits theaters next year. Fans will also get several other chances to see the late Williams on screen, with "Night at the Museum 3" set for a December 19 release. Williams had wrapped his third go-round as Teddy Roosevelt in the comedy franchise before his death. Also in the can is the comedy "A Merry Friggin' Christmas," scheduled for a November release along with other highly-anticipated titles like The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, which features the late Philip Seymour Hoffman as Plutarch Heavensbee.

Tunnel of Mork

Rather than memorializing a 19th century nobody, the Waldo Tunnel (pictured) and its rainbow arches north of the Golden Gate Bridge ought to honor actor and comedian Robin Williams, who became famous while wearing rainbow suspenders. That’s the wish of thousands of people who by yesterday — eight days after Williams’ apparent suicide at his Tiburon home — had electronically signed a petition on change.org, urging Assemblyman Marc Levine to introduce legislation to christen the “Robin Williams Tunnel.” The twin tubes, which carry Highway 101 drivers through the Waldo Grade toward Sausalito, have become a landmark, featured in “Dirty Harry” and other films. But few people know their namesake, William Waldo, a Whig Party candidate who ran unsuccessfully for governor in 1853 after being drawn west by the Gold Rush. Williams called Marin County home, and the online petition’s creator, Julie Wainwright, said changing the name of the tunnel would “honor the very important citizen and world-renowned entertainer.” She wrote that the name would help North Bay residents and visitors remember “the joy he brought to the world.” It makes sense, because there is no one better to be named for a tunnel that takes you out of the fog and into the sunshine than Robin Williams. Williams had himself referenced the Waldo Tunnel in his 1982 HBO comedy special, “An Evening with Robin Williams,” which was shot at San Francisco’s Great American Music Hall. He poked fun at Marin County’s exclusive image. “People going into Marin County say, ‘My God, look at that little rainbow. Isn’t that cute.’ They lied. They lied to you — it’s an ethnic detector,” he quipped. Click here to go straight to that line.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Boko Haram

Chadian troops have rescued 85 Nigerians kidnapped last week by the Islamist terror group Boko Haram. Dozens of Boko Haram insurgents stormed the Doron Baga fishing and farming village on the shores of Lake Chad late Sunday through Monday and took away 97 young men and boys plus several women, residents said. The raiders killed 28 residents and burned several homes. The hostages were loaded onto motorboats and ferried into neighboring Chad, with residents saying they feared the hostages would be forcefully conscripted as foot soldiers. Chadian security officials reported intercepting a convoy of buses carrying 85 Nigerians believed to have been kidnapped by Boko Haram terrorists from Baga. It's great somebody's standing up to those bellends, but what of the 200 girls BH took from Chibok in April? They could be dead by now.

Wikileaker to Wikileak himself to Sweden

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange says he will leave the Ecuadorean embassy in London "soon" after two years of refuge. He did not clarify when he would depart but said it was "probably not" for the reasons reported by the UK press. Stories had suggested he was suffering ill-health and required treatment. Ecuador's foreign minister Ricardo Patino said Mr Assange, who is wanted for questioning over alleged sexual assault offences in Sweden, would "continue to offer him protection". He shouldn't leave while there are cops stationed outside, because he faces extradition to Sweden, and from there he could eventually be handed over to the US because of Wikileaks' publication of classified US military documents on the Afghan and Iraq wars. But if he does leave, Ecuador better have a helicopter stationed in Sweden to intercept him and take him to his adopted homeland.

Louis van Gaal on right track to becoming Loser van Gaal

The 2014/15 season began in disappointing fashion for Louis van Gaal and Manchester United as Swansea City secured a shock 2-1 win at Old Trafford. The visitors took the lead on 28 minutes through Ki Sung-yeung, before his effort was cancelled out by Wayne Rooney's second-half leveller. Rooney hit a post soon after but it was the Swans who found a second rather than United and it proved to be the winner as Gylfi Sigurdsson fired past David De Gea on 72 minutes. No yellow or red cards were shown, but it's too early to tell at this stage whether LVG can turn things around or whether he'll be the next David Moyes.

First smartphone hits the big two-zero

Never judge a phone by its cover. The chunky, black box pictured above was in fact the world's first 'smartphone'. The IBM Simon went on sale to the public on 16 August 1994 and combined mobile phone technology with a wide range of computing features. To mark the 20th anniversary, London's Science Museum is putting it on display in its new Information Age gallery. "The Simon wasn't called a smartphone back then," said curator Charlotte Connelly. "But it had a lot of the features we see today. It had a calendar, it could take notes, and send emails and messages - and combined all of this with a cell phone." Weighing in at half a kilo, the Simon was not exactly pocket-sized. However, Ms Connelly insisted the design was ahead of its time. "It looks like a grey block but it's not as big as you'd imagine," she said. "It had a stylus and a green LCD screen, which is similar in size to the iPhone 4. In fact, it's not a bad looking thing." It was also the first mobile phone to feature software apps (which are now more important 20 years down the line) and could be linked up to a fax machine. It was only available to customers in the United States, operating within a 15 state network. The device, which sold around 50,000 models, was particularly popular with members of the business community, who craved a transportable phone that doubled up as a mini-computer. However, a hefty price tag (US$899, which was worth more 20 years ago than now) and limited battery life (about one hour) contributed to its eventual disappearance from the market around two years after its launch. It could've made it, but IBM can still look at getting into today's smartphone game with a new model closer to today's offerings. If they do, I can guarantee you it won't be as good as Apple's product.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: And So It Goes

I don't know why this one would receive such poor reviews as "...the failed attempt to Heimlich a venerable movie genre" - I sure enjoyed it. Rob Reiner's latest effort has convinced us he still has that magic in him. So all you haters out there, stop hating and appreciate a true masterpiece in modern comedy.

Glory, glory, no more tablets

Manchester United has banned fans from bringing tablets and laptops to football matches at its stadium. The club said it was reacting to "security intelligence", adding the restriction was in line with new checks on electronic equipment at airports. It said that unlike at airports, it would be "impractical" at the stadium to check the devices were genuine by asking for them to be powered up. Greater Manchester Police said it was not involved with the ban "in any way". A statement on the club's site says the ban extends to large and small tablets "including iPad minis", as well as larger electronic devices. Smartphones are still permitted as long as their dimensions are smaller than 15cm by 10cm (5.9in by 3.9in). It's not like I would be stupid enough to bring large electronic devices to a place where they might get stolen, but whatever the club are doing off-field, Louis van Gaal had better prove himself this season and not become just another David Moyes.

And Bacall makes two

During the course of this week, we have lost two of the greats: first Robin Williams and now Lauren Bacall. This is a sign that the wrong people are dying. We've already lost too many people more worthy than Justin Bieber. Seriously, why can't Bieber be next?

Nanu-nanu, Robin

There will be no Bad Idea of the Week this week, because today is a sad day for comedy - Oscar-winning actor and comedian Robin Williams, who dazzled in such wide-ranging dramatic and comedic roles as alien, nanny, therapist, and cartoon genie during a four-decades long career, has been found dead in his northern California home in a suspected suicide. Williams was an airman, a doctor, a genie, a nanny, a president, a professor, a bangarang Peter Pan, and everything in between. But he was one of a kind. He arrived in our lives as an alien, but he ended up touching every element of the human spirit. He made us laugh. He made us cry. He gave his immeasurable talent freely and generously to those who needed it most - from troops stationed abroad to the marginalized on the streets. The Marin County Sheriff's Department said in a statement that Williams was found unconscious and not breathing in his home around noon yesterday Pacific Daylight Time. The statement said the investigation into Williams' death is ongoing, but the coroner "suspects the death to be a suicide due to asphyxia." Celebrity colleagues and admirers of Robin Williams shared their reactions to his death:

• "I am completely and totally devastated. What more can be said?" — Pam Dawber, in a statement.
• "I feel stunned and so sad about Robin. I'm sad for the world of comedy. And so very sad for his family. And I'm sad for Robin. He always lit up when he was able to make people laugh, and he made them laugh his whole life long... tirelessly. He was one of a kind. There will not be another. Please God, let him now rest in peace." — Sally Field, in a statement.
• "Robin was a lightning storm of comic genius and our laughter was the thunder that sustained him. He was a pal and I can't believe he's gone." — Steven Spielberg, in a statement.
• "I could not be more stunned by the loss of Robin Williams, mensch, great talent, acting partner, genuine soul." — Steve Martin, on Twitter.
• "I saw him on stage the very first time he auditioned at the Improv and we have been friends ever since. It's a very sad day." — Jay Leno, in a statement.
• "We have lost one of our most inspired and gifted comic minds, as well as one of this generation's greatest actors. To watch Robin work, was a magical and special privilege. His performances were unlike anything any of us had ever seen, they came from some spiritual and otherworldly place. He truly was one of the few people who deserved the title of 'genius.'" — Chris Columbus, in a statement.
• "Robin and I were great friends, suffering from the same little-known disease: depression. I never could have expected this ending to his life, and to ours with him. God bless him and God bless us all for his LIFE! I cannot believe this. I am overwhelmed with grief. What a wonderful man/boy, and what a tremendous talent in the most important art of any time - comedy! I loved him." — Chevy Chase in a statement.
• "Robin was as sweet a man as he was funny. If you're sad, please tell someone." — Jimmy Kimmel, on Twitter.
• "Robin was friend, boss, brother, inspiration. His generosity and intelligence knew no limits." — Harvey Fierstein, on Twitter.
• "I've never known a sweeter, brighter, more considerate person than Robin. Robin's commitment as an artist to lifting our mood and making us happy is compared to none. He loved us all and we loved him back." — John Travolta, in a statement.
• "A big tenacious overflowing hyperkinetic eruption of compassion would be (the) best tribute to Williams." — John Cusack on Twitter.
• "RIP to my dear brother and friend Robin Williams. The world will miss the decades of laughter that you gave all of us." — Quincy Jones on Twitter.

Genie, you're free.

A show animal is created

SeaWorld recently made a scientific breakthrough when the San Diego location successfully reproduced a penguin through artificial insemination. At just 12 weeks old, she is the first of any penguin species to be reproduced in this way. This is being noted as a major stride in conservation efforts that scientists are hoping will help threatened or endangered species in the wild. "Artificial insemination and semen preservation allows us to maximize the genetic diversity of these populations, and that means that they remain healthy and stable into the future," said one of the researchers at the SeaWorld Reproductive Research Center, Justine O'Brien. This new method has the potential to ensure future generations of beautiful creatures, all with a little help from science and technology. But knowing SeaWorld, most of them are just going to be used in shows or otherwise exploited. Just stay away from that sausage-fest.

Real game-changer for Facebook games

Facebook games will have to reveal any in-app charges and will no longer be allowed to give players bonuses for "liking" their pages under new rules rolled out for developers this week. The changes were part of a new version of the platform developers use to build games and other apps and share them with Facebook users. The developers will have until November 6 to comply with the new rules. So-called "freemium" games and other apps have become a popular choice for developers using Facebook or other platforms, like Apple's iOS and Google's Android mobile operating systems. Instead of paying for an app up front, players may download a game for free. In most cases, they can then play a basic version of that game, but get access to new content or in-game items that help their progress by paying. In addition to being arguably deceptive, this approach also has brought attention through several cases in which children have unknowingly racked up thousands of dollars worth of charges by making purchases in games that their parents didn't realize allowed that option. "If your game includes mandatory or optional in-app charges, explain this in your app's description," Facebook's new rule reads. So in essence, no more hidden charges in apps. If you want to charge for in-app purchases, you inform the users of that fact instead of surprising them when their credit card statements are sent out. You have to lay it all out on the table. Tobacco giants RJ Reynolds learnt the hard way last month when they received a $23 billion fine for not adequately informing their customers of the dangers of smoking.

Pizza: $16.28. Cuteness: priceless.

16-year-old Jewel Cowart deals with credit card receipts all day in her job as a cashier at Domino's Pizza, but one customer's signature last week managed to melt her heart. "This child walked into the store with as much confidence as an adult," Cowart said of a little kid who came into the Domino's in Temple, Texas, where she works. The bold little boy, who was accompanied by his father, was actually something of a regular. "He smiled and said to me, 'I'm here to pick up an order for Thomas Jefferson!'" Cowart recalled. "Coincidentally, I had been his cashier a few days prior, too, and remembered him because before he had ordered under Abraham Lincoln." Cowart says she smiled and told the little boy his total, and he pulled a credit card out of his shorts and swiped it. When it came time for the receipts to print, she handed over two copies, one for him to sign, and one for the store to keep. After getting a nod from his dad, he proceeded to sign it — and that's when some serious cuteness ensued. "The boy turned, took the pen, and signed 'dad' as clear as day, and proud as ever," she said. "He then took his pizzas, and said, 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and walked out." The interaction was almost too sweet for Cowart to bear. "At first, I had this overwhelming feeling of adoration and I wanted to squeeze this child into a hug, and then I came to realize the child didn't even realize how cute it was," she said. "He simply thought he was signing for his father." Cowart showed the copy of the receipt with the adorable signature to her brother, who posted it to Reddit, where it quickly went viral. While she'd been bowled over by the cuteness herself, she couldn't believe the reaction online. It may be cute, but imagine if he had been using the same card and the same signature to buy thousands of dollars worth of stuff his dad doesn't know about.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Guardians of the Galaxy

If you haven't seen this, you're truly missing out. So far, it has earned US$126,759,442 in North America and US$92,500,000 in other countries for a worldwide total of US$219,259,442 in just eight short days. And critical reception has been favourable - Rotten Tomatoes reported a 92% approval rating with an average rating of 7.7/10 based on 197 reviews, and Metacritic assigned a score of 76 out of 100 based on 46 reviews, indicating "generally favorable reviews." So please, go see this one.

Indian legal system still in struggle for perfect balance

India's cabinet has approved a bill to allow children over 16 to be tried as adults for serious crimes like rape and murder. The move follows calls for stricter punishment for juveniles after a 17-year-old known only as Raju was among those convicted of gang rape and murder in Delhi in December 2012. At present, juvenile courts can jail those under 18 for at most three years. Under the bill, which still needs the approval of parliament, minors convicted in adult courts would face longer jail terms but would still be spared the death penalty or life imprisonment. The planned legislation is aimed as a deterrent for juvenile offenders and to protect victims' rights, but child rights organisations have criticised the bill. Children can and do sometimes commit crimes as violent as those committed by adults, and the pain and anger of a victim or their family may well be the same regardless of whether a crime was committed by a child or an adult. But one must remember that children's culpability, even when they commit 'adult' crimes, is different because of their immaturity. Their punishment should acknowledge this difference, reflect children's special capacity for reform and rehabilitation, and be grounded in an understanding of adolescent psychology. In other words, there needs to be a balance between making sure offenders get what they deserve and taking the age and maturity of the offenders into account.

An aspirin a day keeps the cancer away

Taking aspirin every day can reduce the chance of developing or dying from bowel and stomach cancers, a review of all available evidence suggests. And scientists predict if everyone aged 50 and above in the UK took the drug for 10 years, some 122,000 deaths could be prevented over two decades. Scientists examined some 200 studies investigating the benefits and harms of taking aspirin - an area of continuing medical debate. They found the drug reduced the number of cases and deaths from bowel, stomach, and oesophageal cancer by some 30-40%. There was weaker and more variable evidence that the drug reduced deaths from breast, prostate, and lung cancer too. The study also found people needed to take the drug for at least five years to see any benefits. But remember that aspirin can cause internal bleeding and medical advice must be sought before using it.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Being a jackass about the truth

With its old-fashioned charm and beautiful setting, the Union Street Guest House describes itself as the perfect place to get married – and guests attending weddings there had better agree. The upscale hotel in the town of Hudson, in New York’s scenic Catskill mountains, will “fine” couples who hold their weddings there US$500 every time a guest posts a negative review online. Explaining that it is not a “Marriott-type hotel,” the proprietors say that while those who choose the hotel’s Inn for their nuptials will appreciate that its buildings are “old (but restored)” their guests may not “understand” that it has been ”designed to look old in an artistic ‘vintage’ way.” As for the “hip, period furniture you would see in many design magazines,” the hotel is eager that there be no misunderstanding. For every complaint posted about the hip furniture or anything else relating to the hotel on travel review websites such as Trip Advisor or Yep, a fine will be levied. The fee applies for every negative review posted online by anyone in the couple’s party and applies even to those staying at the hotel, where rooms cost up to US$300 a night, but attending a wedding elsewhere in the area. That is just stupid. If somebody has a bad experience somewhere, I would expect there would be a negative review or two in the works. There is an important part of American law known as the Bill of Rights which is designed to prevent such egregious fines for exercising one's right to free speech. But USGH doesn't have to worry about me throwing my hat into the ring for the time being because my sister isn't planning anything that flash for her wedding in just over 100 days' time.

Glass in eye = glass eye

Today is the 70th anniversary of one of the worst crimes in recent history - Anne Frank and seven other Jews she had been hiding with were captured and shipped off to concentration camps throughout Germany and its occupied territories. But that's not what tonight's post is all about, because surgeons operated on a woman yesterday after a shard of shattered glass flew into her eye at a Nelson bar. The glass object was thrown by a member of a group who were kicked out of the Star and Garter Tavern, in Richmond, about 3am. Police are seeking assistance from the public to identify the group. "A group was ejected from the bar about 3am and shortly after a member of that group threw a glass object back into the smoking area of the tavern. The glass shattered and a shard lodged into the eye of a woman patron who was seated in the area," police said. The woman, who is in her 30s, sustained serious injuries to her eye and was being operated on in Nelson Hospital. That ain't cool. The poor woman could lose an eye as a result of that stupidity. What if my niece (pictured) were in the area the glass landed?

Guardians swapped for Guardians

Some choice movie theaters weren’t about to let two completely different genres, titles, and release years come between them and an inadvertently hilarious (or heartbreaking, depending on which side of the screen you’re sitting on) projection mix-up on one of the most highly-anticipated opening nights of summer movie season. The saga began on Thursday night, when a Regal Cinemas theater in Virginia accidentally screened the decidedly non-Sci-Fi-Action-James-Gunn-directed-sentient-tree-and-rocket-wielding-raccoon-starring 2012 animated DreamWorks children’s movie “Rise of the Guardians” in place of Marvel tentpole “Guardians of the Galaxy.” To make matters worse, despite scrambling to right the blunder, theater employees somehow managed to play the opening of “Rise” three more times before getting it right. Chris Pratt may be babein’ big time in “Guardians of the Galaxy,” but not even an eyefull of chiseled Star-Lord chest (which isn't really that much of a turn-on for me because I'm not gay) would make up for almost an hour and a half of Regal’s rigmarole. Naturally, theater-goers were granted refunds, posters, and free passes to a later showing, wherein they could take in Pratt’s majestic pectorals unperturbed. And hey, Virginia Regal Cinemas outpost, you can wipe that egg right off your face because apparently you’re not alone! The Hollywood Reporter tracked down a tweet from a New Jersey resident, announcing that her (decidedly weepier) audience fell victim to the exact same switcheroo. “omg they started playing rise of the guardians instead of guardians of the galaxy EVERYONE IN THE THEATRE IS CRYING,” @thestorysofxr wrote. But how is a two-year-old animated movie still making the rounds in theater projection rooms, I hear you ask? CinemaBlend reports that “Rise” has been shown recently as part of children’s matinee clubs, and if both items were simply labeled by one or both of the offending cinemas as “Guardians,” that could explain it. I would've been a better manager on the night in that area alone - I would insist on different labels for both movies, with maybe "Rise" for the kiddie flick and "Galaxy" for the Marvel superhero film if not a blanket colour-code or the full titles for all movies on general release.

Court says no to anti-gay act on technicality

Uganda's Constitutional Court has invalidated an anti-gay bill that was passed earlier this year, pleasing activists and the LGBT community. According to reports, the anti-gay legislation passed in February lacked the necessary quorum. Hardly a ringing endorsement of equality and liberty, but a victory nonetheless, and one hard-earned by lawyers from Human Rights Awareness and Promotion Forum (HRAPF) of Uganda, and their partners at UHAI-EASHRI, the local leaders of this battle, incidentally, belying the claim that LGBT equality is some sort of Western conceit. It's good that such a crap excuse for a law has been stopped in its tracks, as the tough law would've allowed imprisonment for homosexual acts or any kind of promotion of homosexuality, but it could make the backlash against LGBT Ugandans even worse. Records kept by Sexual Minorities Uganda show that violence against LGBT people has increased tenfold since the passage of the Anti-Homosexual Act. Add in fiery preaching by anti-gay zealots, often funded by American organizations, and you have a volatile brew ready to explode. Activists worry that this court decision could provide the spark. If the law won’t protect Uganda from Satan, people will have to take up arms themselves. Hopefully, cooler heads will prevail. There are supportive clergy calling for coexistence rather than violence, and maybe the Obama administration, instead of merely backpedaling reactively, could support these voices pro-actively as well. Maybe Museveni could call for a period of national reflection. Or maybe, things will continue to get worse.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Hercules

One of the best action movies to come out this year. Go see it. Need I say more?