28 February 2017
Fudge the food police
27 February 2017
Oscars so full of errors
26 February 2017
25 February 2017
24 February 2017
Explosions of ATM for make benefit glorious thieves in Kazakhstan
Inept thieves who tried to break open a cash machine using welding torches only succeeded in setting fire to the money. The failed attempt to rob the ATM took place in the southern Kazakhstan region of Almaty. Pictures of the aftermath of the criminals' doomed attempt at theft show bundles of scorched 5,000-tenge notes that have been rendered unusable. 5,000 tenge is worth about NZ$22, so the thieves stood to get away with a substantial haul if their scheme had been successful, in a country where the average monthly wage is 173,685 KZT (NZ$763). Just think about it: all the money in that ATM could have been used for something like maybe a bit of sexy time with a prostitute. Is nice!
23 February 2017
Seven earths for seven billion
22 February 2017
Horsing around kills horse
21 February 2017
20 February 2017
Extradition Dotcom
19 February 2017
To FM or not to FM? That is the question...
18 February 2017
17 February 2017
16 February 2017
15 February 2017
14 February 2017
13 February 2017
12 February 2017
Watford can't has victory
Manchester United maintained the pressure on the clubs occupying the top four places after a comfortable 2-0 win over Watford at Old Trafford stretched the club's unbeaten run in the Premier League to 16 games. A first-half goal from Juan Mata and a second on the hour mark from Anthony Martial was enough to secure the win over Walter Mazzarri's men. The result meant United became the first team to amass 2,000 all-time Premier League points, and more importantly stayed in the hunt for Champions League qualification. United boss Jose Mourinho made two changes to the side that comfortably defeated champions Leicester City last Sunday as Daley Blind came in for Marcus Rojo at left-back and Martial replaced Marcus Rashford who was named among the substitutes. In the first home match after Monday's 59th anniversary of the Munich Air Disaster, the United fans unveiled a giant surfer flag bearing the words 'We'll never die' in remembrance while the players donned the traditional black armbands. But what will never die is our hope that Manchester United will one day bring back their first Premier League title of the post-Ferguson era.
11 February 2017
10 February 2017
9 February 2017
8 February 2017
7 February 2017
6 February 2017
Reds beat the champions, my friends...
Manchester United took full advantage of some favourable Premier League results to close the gap on the teams at the top thanks to a convincing 3-0 victory over champions Leicester City at the King Power Stadium. Henrikh Mkhitaryan’s excellent solo goal and a composed finish from top scorer Zlatan Ibrahimovic in the space of two minutes towards the end of the first half gave the Reds a comfortable cushion at the break. The impressive Juan Mata added a third early in the second period as Jose Mourinho’s men ended a run of three successive draws with a deserved third win of the season over the goal-shy Foxes. If they keep this up for the rest of the season, I'm sure they will still have a chance at the silverware.
5 February 2017
4 February 2017
No goals again, naturally
Manchester United were held to a hugely frustrating goalless draw at Old Trafford on Wednesday night as Hull City ground out a point to aid their cause at the bottom of the Premier League. Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Paul Pogba, Juan Mata, and Marcos Rojo all brought fine saves from Hull goalkeeper Eldin Jakupovic, who was in inspired form between the posts for the visitors. But we don't need draws, we need goals. And we need to win. And the more they win, the closer they get to the silverware.