Rakhine state is so the bomb right now

The Bellend of the Month for September 2017 is Myanmar’s military, which is using murder and mayhem to drive out hundreds of thousands of Rohingya Muslims. France’s President Emmanuel Macron is calling it genocide. The harrowing stories are all over the news, but what the media rarely mentions is that governments all around the world are enabling it - allowing arms companies to sell and profit from ethnic cleansing and even providing military training.

Under pressure governments are slowly waking up - just days ago UK Prime Minister Theresa May announced an end to all training of and co-operation with the Myanmar military, until the violence stops. If enough people join the call for a global arms embargo we can make other governments - and even the UN - follow suit. The Myanmar military and militia groups are deliberately and systematically targeting the Rohingya Muslim population - attempting to kill, injure, and remove an entire population. This is ethnic cleansing.

In the words of one Rohingya man: “The military attacked at 11am. They started shooting at houses and at people...When people fled, they burned the houses with bottles of petrol and rocket launchers... Now there are no homes in our area – all are burned completely.” Our governments all around the world are responsible for letting this mass murder and forced displacement happen:

• Earlier this year Myanmar’s military chief Min Aung Hlaing visited Germany and Austria on an arm's shopping trip.
• Israeli companies are arming the military and one of them is even training forces in Rakhine state, where much of the violence is taking place.
• The Israeli company TAR Ideal Concept have even posted pictures on their website of its staff teaching combat tactics and how to handle weapons.

This is all in spite of EU sanctions on Myanmar. The UK has just announced its decision to stop training and co-operating with the Myanmar military, but now we need to keep the momentum going, we need to double down and put pressure on all our governments to enact a fully functioning global arms embargo on Myanmar. The oppression of Rohingya Muslims at the hands of the Myanmar military has a long history. This most recent campaign of ethnic cleansing has brought it to the international media’s attention. Now we know what is happening, it’s time we move to action.

Rohingya activists and campaigners around the world have been working tirelessly to draw the world’s attention as the Myanmar military try to wipe out the Rohingya population. Right now, they need as many of us as possible to stand with them. Evil acts can only flourish when enough of us turn away.

Even worse, the people doing this are of a Buddhist majority. Buddhists are supposed to be against violence. Any of our readers taking part in the violence should think about what Buddha would say if he found out about what you were up to.

That's one more playboy gone

 

Downward doggy style

Tight Uncle Bob strikes again

 

It has now Bean said

 

But who is the grocest of them all?

 

Lucky Lukaku does it again

Manchester United extended the club's unbeaten start to the Premier League season to six matches by recording a hard-fought 1-0 victory over Southampton. Romelu Lukaku’s first-half strike was enough to claim the away win for the Reds, who remain on the same points tally as rivals Manchester City, 5-0 winners at home to Crystal Palace. The match kicked off in almost perfect conditions, as the Southampton sunshine beamed down on St Mary’s. There were few chances in the opening quarter of an hour, a long-range attempt form Henrikh Mkhitaryan being the only effort on goal and that was comfortably gathered by Fraser Forster. United broke the deadlock in the 20th minute when Ashley Young’s left-wing cross found Lukaku, who was waiting in the six-yard box. Despite Forster producing a fine save from the striker's initial header, the ball dropped kindly to the Belgian and he dispatched his second chance with an effortless tap-in. Having taken the lead, Jose Mourinho's men began to take control of the match, moving the ball around quickly and leaving the Southampton players to chase. At half-time, the Reds looked good value for the lead. But we all know the value will be in getting back the Premiership.

So what really happened?

 

I'll tell you what happened. She completely lost the trust of the American voters; first by rigging the primary, and again with her emails. If the DNC establishment had given Bernie a chance, we wouldn't have an orange toddler in the Oval Office.

In other election-related news, polls have just closed in New Zealand and one of two things could happen: three more years of an incompetent Southlander who completely butchered pizza by putting spaghetti on it, or three years with a much more competent Prime Minister who has been unfairly compared to lipstick on a pig.

Cute as phoque

 

Holy roller rolls into the joint

 

An employee of the Samoan Independent Seventh Day Adventist Church in Auckland, who had been convicted of theft, has been jailed for two years and nine months. 52-year-old Elizabeth Papu (pictured) had admitted two charges of 'theft by person in special relationship' relating to approximately $NZ1.6 million dollars of offending while she was finance administrator of the church's northern division. Today at the Manukau District Court her name suppression was lifted. Papu had admitted she took the money and the Serious Fraud Office, which prosecuted the case, says she stole to fund her gambling habit. The SFO director, Julie Read, said Papu had full responsibility for the church's bank accounts. She said the authority to record transactions and reconcile bank statements allowed her to manipulate the church's financial records and disguise her theft. Even if the money was "just resting" in her account, she shouldn't have moved it on, especially not at the casino. I wouldn't be surprised if the church send her to some backwater island upon her release.

Sorry for the late post, here's a potato

Cheesiest. Mouse. Ever.

 

Toffees get stuck

Manchester United moved joint-top of the Premier League table with a 4-0 thumping of Everton at Old Trafford on Wayne Rooney's first return to Old Trafford since leaving in the summer. Antonio Valencia handed the Reds the perfect start but there were some nervous moments until Henrikh Mkhitaryan added a second goal, shortly after Rooney was withdrawn to a warm ovation. Romelu Lukaku netted against his former club as the floodgates opened and there was still time for Anthony Martial to convert a stoppage-time penalty. That's right, people - 13 points in just 5 games. And we didn't need Sir Alex for that.

Both look the same to me

 

Could have put some pineapple on it

 

Advice: pay your rent or pay the price!

 

Cicero said it best

 

Let's not yabba-dabba-do this

 

The tiger is weak in this parent

 

Adult life in a nutshell

 

And four's a draw

Romelu Lukaku and Marcus Rashford continued their good scoring run, but Manchester United were ultimately left frustrated after being held to a 2-2 draw against Stoke City. Maxim Choupo-Moting opened the scoring for the hosts on 43 minutes, before Rashford inadvertently brought United level from Paul Pogba’s header shortly after. The in-form Lukaku put the visitors back in front in the second half with his fifth goal in as many games on 57 minutes, but the Reds were forced to settle for a point after Choupo-Moting scored his and Stoke’s second. But 10 points from 4 games is still a good haul, and with 34 games to go, it can only get better.

Vegan pancakes - better with bacon!

 

A case of the quits

 

Warning: crime can kill

 

IT has awakened

 

Car confusion

A man who had too much to drink and sold his car to get more alcohol woke the next day to find it gone and reported it stolen to police. The man went to the Rotorua police station at the weekend to tell police his car was gone and someone must have stolen it while he was out. The reality was, the man sold the vehicle for NZ$800 to allow him to keep drinking, but given his intoxicated state, he couldn't remember when he woke in the morning, Senior Sergeant Dennis Murphy of the Rotorua police said. "Thankfully the man who bought the car checked the registration the next day on the CarJam website as he was worried it might be stolen." By then, the police had already received the report it had apparently been stolen and an alert came up on the website. "The man came into the station with the car to let us know what had happened. We were able to get in touch with the original owner and told them to sort it out between them." Mr Murphy said police often told members of the public it was dangerous to drink and drive, but now they had another warning too - don't drink and sell cars. And I'd also advise anyone with an alcohol problem, especially if they've been in the seller's position, to get in touch with AA.

Gotta eat dat air

 

Smokin' dat oregano

 

Grin and bear it

 

SPRING SURVIVAL GUIDE: Be careful of the bees