Blind pilot flying!

Period water

The Canaries ain’t singing anymore

Putting the Ink in Oink

Batman, angel wings, and Japanese symbols are certainly not part of the traditional police uniform - but these and many other depictions are adorning the skin of many of our cops. The majority of New Zealand’s police recruits - possibly up to 95 per cent - have tattoos these days and the organisation has launched a recruitment campaign around skin art in a bid to encourage more people to join the force. The campaign officially launches this weekend and shares the personal stories of seven officers and their ink. "The Ink beneath the Blue invites the public into the lives of some of our officers who choose to literally wear their hearts on their sleeves," executive media and communications deputy chief Jane Archibald says. "It's the stories and very personal experiences behind why they got their unique tattoo combined with the training provided by police, which equip these officers to police more effectively and empathetically in our diverse communities." Here’s how I see this: TATTOOS ARE A WASTE OF MONEY AND THEY ARE LIKELY TO GET INFECTED. AND THE DESIGN MAY WELL NOT WORK OUT HOW YOU WANTED. AND EVERYONE KNOWS THE PIGS ARE JUST THE GOVERNMENT’S REVENUE-COLLECTING GANG.

Opposition fan gets his wish

19-7. Need I say more?

Opposition fan gets crashed into his place

An over-eager England fan, who called Radio Sport to proclaim his support for his team, was involved in a crash live on air. During the Radio Sport Weekender this morning, host Bryan Waddle was left speechless when a caller who called the show to chant "Go England!" was involved in a crash. "Someone just crashed into me," said the caller. "I hope you're not holding your cell phone. I hope you've got your ear piece in," a stunned Waddle replied. Luckily, the minor accident didn't cause any damage and the excited caller was safe. "Hands free mate," the caller said. "I'm just in a car park. No damage." The Auckland-based caller then proceeded straight into the purpose for his call, which was to say that he's going "against the grain" to support England in tonight's World Cup semifinal against the All Blacks. "I just wanted to go against the grain and say go England," he said. "I was born in England. I love the All Blacks but today the English flag is flying high above the house. Go England." England will be hoping for better fortunes than the unlucky caller as they face the All Blacks tomorrow night in Yokohama at 9pm NZDT.

The Big Switch

One word: BANANA

But trans men get periods too

Finally one speaks the truth

One goal apiece = one point apiece

This needs to be nipped in the butt

MELISSA DISSECTS: The truth about vaccines

All that memory and still no room for maths

It’s an anti-government thing

It’s 6

Go fugu yourself

But we all need that sweet sweet interwebs

Why have just six inches when you can have a footlong

Damage control like a pro

Wow much photobomb

Well not all the time they don’t

Turning 31 be like

Another loss for the boys in red

Of course they recommend autism

MELISSA DISSECTS: The Apple Drive

Golden streams of so not the drama

This is why we shouldn’t let Jonah Takalua cast roles

And here comes yet another reminder of Brazil’s darkest day

It’s another draw!

And one point per game is not the way to get back the Premier League silverware.

Strike for your jobs!

To all my Jewish readers out there, L’Shana Tovah. Now that’s out of the way, September 2019 has ended and we have somebody to induct into the Sick Phoque Club. That somebody is General Motors. Here’s a little backstory: At a July 2017 rally in Youngstown, Ohio, President Donald Trump told his supporters not to sell their homes because the factory jobs are ‘‘coming back. They’re all coming back.’’ But a few miles away, a General Motors factory has since closed, no longer producing the Chevy Cruze. Two other GM factories in Michigan and Maryland have also stopped production. Needless to say, manufacturing jobs have not come roaring back since Trump took office. The president’s tariff war has made imports more expensive for US manufacturers, and now the industry is shrinking. Last year, GM said it would slash 14,000 jobs in North America, and would move forward with plans to build the Chevy Blazer in Mexico. Nearly 50,000 GM auto workers are now on strike, trying to accomplish what the president could not. From Georgia to Michigan, outside more than 50 US factories, they are picketing around the clock, venting their anger over the company’s recent decisions. They are demanding - among other things - that GM keep jobs in the US and reopen its idled factories. And they better do it or they won’t have any workers anywhere.