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31 December 2020

In Taiwan they have fists and chairs, but in Mexico they have nudity

2 December 2020

Too quick on the shot

Put simply, there is only one real candidate for the Sick Phoque Club for the month of November 2020: the rush to bring an untested vaccine out. Seriously, people, there are way too many reasons not to get one, including but not limited to autism.

21 November 2020

It’s that time of year again



Shooting, 2020 Style



Lockdown lie unraveled

South Australia's drastic six-day coronavirus lockdown was triggered by a "lie" to contact tracers from a man who tested positive and restrictions across the state are set to be lifted much sooner than first planned, authorities said on Friday. The shock announcement came just two days after the state government ordered people to stay at home and shut many businesses to combat what was considered a highly contagious outbreak of coronavirus. South Australia state Premier Steven Marshall told a media conference in Adelaide that one man at the Woodville Pizza Bar restaurant tied to the outbreak told contact tracers he had only bought a pizza there, when he had actually worked several shifts at the food outlet alongside another worker who tested positive. Authorities assumed the man, who wasn't named, had caught the virus during a very short exposure, leading them to believe the strain must be highly contagious. "Their (the man's) story didn't add up. We pursued them. We now know that they lied," Marshall told reporters. "To say I am fuming about the actions of this individual is an absolute understatement. The selfish actions of this individual have put our whole state in a very difficult situation." While the outbreak was still worrying, Marshall said restrictions would be lifted early with a stay-at-home order ending at 11:59pm ACDT tonight (1:29pm GMT) when most businesses would also be allowed to open. Asked what punishment the individual might face, Police Commissioner Grant Stevens said there was "no penalty" for lying to tracers under the current law, though that would likely be reviewed. This is what happens when you’re not straight with the contact tracing team. They have an important job to do during this fake plandemic and telling porkies only serves to make their job harder. So next time you want to be all like “no mate I only bought a pizza”, PLEASE PLEASE RECONSIDER, or at the very least have a good hiding place where you can avoid the angry mob.