Hunter becomes the hunted

The Bellend of the Month for May 2017 is a South African big game hunter named Theunis Botha, who died at the age of 51 after being crushed by an elephant cow that had been shot on a game reserve in Zimbabwe at the weekend. Botha was leading a hunt with clients when the group accidentally walked into the middle of a breeding herd of elephants at the Good Luck Farm near Hwange National Park late on Friday afternoon, Zimparks spokesman Mr Simukai Nyasha said. Three of the elephant cows charged the hunters. Mr Botha fired a shot from his rifle but he was caught by surprise by a fourth cow that stormed them from the side, the Afrikaans news site Netwerk24 reported. One of the hunters shot the elephant after she lifted Botha with her trunk. The elephant then collapsed on top of Mr Botha, who has five children with his wife Carike Botha. It's a wonder she didn't just leave him already. Those who hunt endangered species deserve to get what's coming to them.

This legend deserves a medal

It takes a headbutt

 

Lest we forget the fallen gorilla #dicksoutforharambe

 

Happy 80th to one of the most famous bridges in the world

And it's also the 50th anniversary of an Australian referendum to include Aborigines in censuses and abolish the requirement of a roughly 2:1 ratio of legislators. The first measure passed with over 90% of valid votes in favour. The second measure, which proposed to allow increasing the number of representatives without increasing the number of senators by half as many people, wasn't so lucky.

*plays Amazing Grace on bagpipes*

 

Champions League qualification secured

Manchester United ended the season by winning the UEFA Europa League for the first time in the club's history, following a convincing 2-0 win over AFC Ajax in Stockholm. Goals from Paul Pogba and Henrikh Mkhitaryan in either half earned a victory over the Dutch giants at the Friends Arena, completing the club's trophy collection and sealing qualification to the 2017/18 Champions League group stage, as well as the UEFA Super Cup in Macedonia this coming August. The victory on an emotional night in Sweden was the perfect way to sign off the 2016/17 campaign and Jose Mourinho's first season in charge of the Reds. Hopefully next year they will win the Premiership as well.

A good agent has been lost

 

Lesson learned: don't lick donuts

 

New Reds put brakes on Palace in final game of the season

Josh Harrop scored a dream debut goal as a youthful Manchester United side gave Reds fans an exciting glimpse of the future during a 2-0 win over Crystal Palace in the final Premier League match of the season at Old Trafford. A first-half goal from the impressive Harrop was doubled by Paul Pogba four minutes later as the Reds headed into Wednesday's UEFA Europa League final against Ajax in Stockholm in winning form. Jose Mourinho named the youngest United side in Premier League history with Joel Pereira making his first start in the domestic league, while debuts were handed to Demi Mitchell and Harrop. The more experienced Pogba returned from compassionate leave and the likes of Angel Gomes (who became the youngest player to pick up the Jimmy Murphy Youth Team Player of the Year trophy at the Reds' awards night), Matty Willock, and Zak Dearnley were named on the Reds substitutes' bench for the first time. But the new guys better put the brakes on Ajax this weekend or else.

Seriously people, cut the caffeine

 

No goals but still some glory

Manchester United played out a goalless draw against Southampton in the Reds' final Premier League away game of the 2016/17 season. Sergio Romero proved to be the hero in goal with several brilliant saves, including a fine stop to deny Manolo Gabbiadini from the penalty spot early on. Anthony Martial hit a post in the second half for the Reds, who are now winless in five league games but, with hopes of finishing in the top four already over, the main focus remains on the Europa League final in order to secure qualification for next season's Champions League. And they better win it unless they want to lose Mourinho like they lost Moyes and LVG.

How the Snitch got its stitches

 

Black Hole Son, he has gone / Wash away our pain

Soundgarden rocker Chris Cornell is said to have died at the age of 52. Chris' rep Brian Bumbery told Associated Press that the lead singer - who also played in Audioslave - said Cornell's death was "sudden and unexpected" and that his wife and family were shocked by his loss. The statement also said the family would be working closely with the medical examiner to determine the cause and asked for privacy.

He would do anything for meow

 

Guess which one is the Thai king?

 

And so the top four is out of reach

Manchester United slipped up in North London for the second successive weekend as Tottenham Hotspur claimed second place in the Premier League and said farewell to their White Hart Lane stadium with a slender 2-1 victory. A headed goal from Spurs midfielder Victor Wanyama early in the first half was followed by a flicked effort from striker Harry Kane at the start of the second period. Wayne Rooney replied with just under 20 minutes left when he converted a pull-back from the lively Anthony Martial, but it wasn't enough as the Reds lost a second league game in a row after the previous reverse at Arsenal, Tottenham's local rivals. But even worse, United’s chances of finishing in the Premier League’s top four were ended by that and another result - Liverpool's earlier 4-0 away win over West Ham. This has left Jose Mourinho's men with too big a gap to close with only two top-flight matches to go against Southampton on Wednesday and Crystal Palace next Sunday. Of course, Champions League group stage qualification can still be earned by winning the Europa League final against AFC Ajax later this month. And now that a top four finish is no longer mathematically possible, they better beat Ajax if they want a spot in the Champions League next season. And then there's the European Supercup to play for.

And this is why the Mac is better

 

How do we get this one onto Trump's computer?

 

Wow much draw fours

 

The only place where success comes before work

 

Even the kid gets the whole loophole thing

 

Owned by a cat

 

Hot streak not so hot now

Manchester United endured a disappointing day in North London as Arsenal inflicted the club's first Premier League defeat since October. Two second-half goals in quick succession proved decisive for the Gunners as Granit Xhaka and former United striker Danny Welbeck got on the scoresheet. But guess who needs to really get on the scoresheet next season? Mourinho, that's who!

The bulge just gives it away

 

The next four years are bound to suck

 

Not to mention the franchise turns 40 this month

 

Why Android people suck

 

In honour of the worst president ever and his fat pig of a wife

  

Reds get to the one point

Manchester United set a new club record of 25 matches unbeaten in a single top-flight season, but the Reds' hunt for a top-four place faltered as Swansea City grabbed a 1-1 draw at Old Trafford. A first-half penalty from Wayne Rooney was cancelled out by a sublime Gylfi Sigurdsson free-kick late in the game as United drew a 10th game at home and missed the chance to move into third place in the Premier League. United paid tribute to the Nigerian football fans who lost their lives when an electric cable fell on them watching a United match on TV last week by wearing black armbands, while it was the visitors who had the majority of the early possession, which was perhaps no surprise given the style of attractive football Paul Clement's men play. But seriously, a win would have been nice.

And that's why pineapple pizza is a thing