Devastated. Heartbroken. In mourning. Those are some of the words the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden used in a contrite explanation for the death of Harambe, a 17-year-old western lowland gorilla killed on Saturday to save a boy who slipped into the zoo's habitat. The boy was in "imminent danger," leaving the zoo's Dangerous Animal Response Team with no option but to shoot the 450-pound gorilla, zoo director Thane Maynard said in a statement on Facebook. Tranquilizers may not have taken effect in time to save the boy while the dart might have agitated the animal, worsening the situation, Maynard said. "We are heartbroken about losing Harambe, but a child's life was in danger and a quick decision had to be made," he said. The words did little to assuage an angry chorus of critics who believed the gorilla's death was unnecessary. Many blamed the boy's mother for failing to look after her son. Neither the boy nor his family have been identified. And neither was the idiot who didn't build the walls high enough to stop kids from falling in. The fault is at both ends. Parents need to supervise their kids and zoos need to build their enclosures with higher fences.
30 May 2016
29 May 2016
28 May 2016
Will you Mario me?
27 May 2016
Renewable energy has been Trumped
Hours after effectively clinching the Republican presidential nomination, Donald Trump vowed to withdraw the United States from the historic Paris agreement among 195 nations to cut greenhouse gas emissions in an effort to stop global warming. Trump, who has often dismissed the science on climate change as a hoax that threatens American jobs, promised to cut all US spending on United Nations programmes on global warming. Speaking at an oil and gas industry conference in Bismarck, N.D., he laid out an energy agenda that would rely heavily on fossil fuels and rescind Obama administration regulations aimed at addressing climate change. "In a Trump administration, political activists with extreme agendas will no longer write the rules, because that's what's happening now," Trump said. When I think of extreme agendas, his own agenda comes readily to mind. He should be lucky I don't live in America, otherwise that would mean one more vote for Clinton or Sanders. Speaking of which, if Clinton wins the Democratic nomination, 2016 may well be the year of the third party.
26 May 2016
25 May 2016
24 May 2016
THE BIG REVIEW: Panic at the disco
22 May 2016
And finally LVG wins a trophy for the Reds
Manchester United’s 12-year wait to win the FA Cup is over after Louis van Gaal’s men came from behind to secure a dramatic and exhilarating extra-time victory over Crystal Palace. Jason Puncheon opened the scoring late in the second half, but the Reds mustered a display of fighting spirit and drew level three minutes later through Juan Mata. After Chris Smalling was sent off in extra time, Academy graduate Jesse Lingard hit a stunning winner that will be remembered for years to come. Although it has been a disappointing season in the Barclays Premier League, after finishing fifth and missing out on Champions League qualification, success in the FA Cup has provided genuine cause for celebration among everybody associated with United. Particularly for the fans, who have craved this trophy in the dozen years since the club’s last success in 2004 when Millwall were beaten in Cardiff. It may not be a Premier League title, but it is better than nothing for a manager who could be on his way out.
20 May 2016
19 May 2016
No more crap for two months
18 May 2016
Last game under LVG ends in win
17 May 2016
16 May 2016
Top four not happening this year
Manchester United's final Barclays Premier League match of the season will now be played on Tuesday 17 May, when kick-off is set for 8pm BST. This follows the abandonment of the planned fixture due to a suspicious package that was discovered at Old Trafford. Louis van Gaal's men can realistically no longer finish fourth and qualify for the UEFA Champions League after Manchester City's 1-1 draw at Swansea City on Sunday afternoon. The Reds are determined to end the league campaign on a high though, particularly with the FA Cup final to follow at the weekend. A second defeat in the last 12 matches was suffered during West Ham's Upton Park farewell, despite two goals for Anthony Martial. Louis van Gaal's men have only lost twice at home all season (not including the penalty shoot-out defeat to Middlesbrough in the Capital One Cup), while the visitors are 17th in the form table, covering the last six matches, but have won three of their last six games on the road. Even if the Reds can no longer finish in the top four, they still have the FA Cup final next weekend. Loser van Gaal can still win it.
15 May 2016
14 May 2016
13 May 2016
12 May 2016
11 May 2016
Reds frustrated in race to the top four
The Champions League qualifying initiative swung away from Manchester United again as Louis van Gaal's side lost 3-2 to West Ham in an incredible last competitive match at Upton Park. The Reds travelled to East London knowing that two wins in the final two league games against the Hammers and Bournemouth would clinch fourth place in the Barclays Premier League. But despite a brilliant double from the in-form Anthony Martial, the Reds were ultimately defeated by strikes from Diafra Sakho, Michail Antonio, and former All White Winston Reid as the hosts turned the game on its head in the final 15 minutes. With one game remaining, United lie two points behind Manchester City and must now hope Swansea City beat the Blues in South Wales while ensuring three home points are collected when Bournemouth visit Old Trafford. Human lives may not depend on it, but a top-four finish does.
10 May 2016
THE BIG REVIEW: Viv
9 May 2016
8 May 2016
Reds continue push for the top 4
Manchester United applied pressure on neighbours City ahead of the Blues' clash with Arsenal on Sunday thanks to a narrow 1-0 win at Norwich City. Juan Mata scored the only goal of the match to boost the Reds' hopes of qualifying for the Champions League but compounded the Canaries' relegation worries. Despite the importance of the game for both teams, it was the most low key of opening halves with precious few moments of excitement. Perhaps the loss of Anthony Martial in the warm-up, with the injured Frenchman replaced by midfielder Ander Herrera, blunted the Reds' attack and Louis van Gaal's team was further depleted when Matteo Darmian was forced off on a stretcher early on. Daley Blind and Marcus Rashford were already rested for the clash and not included in the squad. But what's important here is the three points.
7 May 2016
6 May 2016
Still no PC's in South D
5 May 2016
4 May 2016
3 May 2016
THE BIG REVIEW: Sleep
2 May 2016
Draw doesn't cut it for either side
Manchester United and Leicester City played out an enthralling 1-1 draw that was punctuated with entertainment, passion, and drama - yet the result was not truly desired by either club. Anthony Martial and Wes Morgan scored first-half goals in the stalemate that mirrors November's meeting at the King Power Stadium, providing a blow to the Reds’ hopes of finishing in the Barclays Premier League top four with just three matches left to play. The Foxes could also have won the title at Old Trafford had they secured a victory, although their champagne remains on ice for the time being. Oh, and Danny Drinkwater was booked a second time in the 87th minute, meaning the Foxes were down to ten at the end.
30 April 2016
The Gay Promotee not promoted
29 April 2016
28 April 2016
27 April 2016
26 April 2016
25 April 2016
24 April 2016
Reds make it to FA Cup final
That's right, Manchester United have beaten Everton to secure a spot in the FA Cup final. Just days earlier, they closed the gap on top-four rivals Arsenal and Manchester City with a routine 2-0 win over Crystal Palace, providing a timely morale boost ahead of the game at Wembley. The victory – secured via a Damien Delaney own goal and Matteo Darmian volley – left the Reds just a point behind the Gunners ahead of their game-in-hand against West Bromwich Albion on Thursday, with Manuel Pellegrini’s Blues two points ahead after their draw at Newcastle earlier in the week. I hope LVG can at least win the FA Cup.
23 April 2016
22 April 2016
Nothing compares to this as far as bad news goes
21 April 2016
20 April 2016
Blazing up some good karma for 4/20
A teenager who found Thor's wallet and returned it has been rewarded with a cool US$10,000 (NZ$14,200). When 17-year-old Tristin Budzyn-Baker found Australian actor Chris Hemsworth's wallet he was more than a little surprised. He could have done many things with the star's wallet, packed with cash and all his personal information, but the boy scout chose to do the right thing. Budzyn-Baker went on to appear with Hemsworth on the Ellen DeGeneres Show to tell how he returned the movie star's wallet. Hemsworth said he had been dining with his family in a "pretty rough area" of Los Angeles when he lost his wallet. "I left my wallet on the table and thought 'I'm never going to get it back, I'm never going to see it again'," Hemsworth said. The boy scout picked the wallet up and was shocked to learn its owner. "I was like mum, do you know who this is? We found Thor's wallet!" Budzyn-Baker said. "We were speechless. We didn't know what to do." Thor or not, I would have banked all the cash and had a huge online spending spree (has to be online or at a retailer with PayWave because I'm not going to know the PIN) to max out the credit cards, because seriously, I need the money if I'm ever going to get off my cousin's couch and into a decent house.
19 April 2016
18 April 2016
17 April 2016
Villa stuck at the bottom
16 April 2016
FBI can't has data
15 April 2016
It's multiplex not multitext
One of the largest cinema chains in the US is considering letting customers use their mobile phones during films. AMC chief executive Adam Aron said he wanted to encourage so-called millennials to visit the cinema. He told Variety magazine: "You can't tell a 22-year-old to turn off their cellphone. That's not how they live their life." But he said he would have to find a solution that did not disturb other movie-goers. I have one: how about just turning the damn phone off? I grew up in a generation of respect for the rules of common decency, and I know to switch my phone off or at least put it in flight mode for just three hours at the most. We pay good money to be able to watch the latest blockbuster without hearing some disrespectful yob sitting a few seats away talking on their phone like a Trump supporter or an ISIS militant.
14 April 2016
13 April 2016
So a goat walks into a Starbucks
12 April 2016
THE BIG REVIEW: The Cup Label of Death
11 April 2016
Spurs take out the Reds
Tottenham Hotspur scored three times inside six second-half minutes to inflict a 3-0 defeat on Manchester United, leaving the Reds four points shy of the Barclays Premier League top four. Dele Alli, Toby Alderweireld, and Erik Lamela scored the quickfire goals in devastating fashion to secure Spurs' first win over United at White Hart Lane in 15 matches, since a 3-1 triumph in May of 2001. The result means qualification to next season’s UEFA Champions League looks a tall order for Louis van Gaal's men with only six top-flight matches left to play this season. “It is not the weekend we wanted," conceded a disappointed Michael Carrick afterwards. "But there are a few weekends left yet." And in those weekends, they better step it up. Losing will not get you the title.
10 April 2016
Smash it your way
A prank caller tricked workers at a US Burger King into smashing the windows of the Minnesota restaurant to keep it from exploding, police said Saturday, mirroring similar deceptions at Burger Kings and other fast-food restaurants in other states in recent months. Police said employees at the restaurant in the Minneapolis suburb of Coon Rapids (which seriously needs to change its name like right now) got the call Friday night from someone claiming to be with the fire department. The caller said the restaurant could explode, so they needed to relieve the pressure. The manager and other employees believed the caller and smashed all the windows on the ground floor. "Officers arrived and found that the manager and employees of the Burger King were smashing out the windows,'' Sgt. Rick Boone told the Star Tribune. "The manager explained they'd received a phone call from a male who identified himself as a fireman who said there were dangerous levels of gas in the building and they had to break out all the windows to keep the building from blowing up.'' This is a stupid and expensive idea for a prank, with repair estimates for similar incidents in other states exceeding US$10,000. And as much as it's making me want to do this, I just hope nobody pulls that crap in New Zealand.
9 April 2016
8 April 2016
7 April 2016
The Brave Little Club That Couldn't has almost done it
6 April 2016
5 April 2016
THE BIG REVIEW: Way too much sun
4 April 2016
Thousandth goal at home takes all the glory
3 April 2016
2 April 2016
Apple turns 40
1 April 2016
31 March 2016
Bikejacker gets jacked
30 March 2016
For all those who think that their country has stupid laws
29 March 2016
THE BIG REVIEW: Defibrillatorgate
Following the removal of a defibrillator at Bunnings' Dunedin store, claims are being made that the company has insisted on the removal of the devices at two other New Zealand outlets. About three years ago, staff at the Dunedin store fundraised to buy a defibrillator after a co-worker died of a heart condition. Last week the company forced the staff to gift the defibrillator to a community group. Radio New Zealand is reporting that the company also insisted on the removal of a defibrillator at its Nelson store about a month ago, and at its Gisborne store before Christmas, citing claims made by First Union. The union's Nelson organiser, Rachel Boyack, said when staff asked why, they were told it was because of maintenance costs, RNZ said. "They've obviously done some sort of cost-benefit analysis on it at a nationwide level and determined that the small cost to replace the battery every year, and ensure staff have the proper training, isn't worth the benefit of having something like this in the store for their workers and for the public," she said. If that is indeed the case, I'd suggest a boycott would be in order. The money lost through people going to the likes of Mitre 10 for their hardware needs will in time add up.
28 March 2016
Shaking up the far south
A 4.5 magnitude earthquake was felt as far afield as Dunedin today. The quake occurred about 4.15pm, was 5km deep, and epicentre was 50km northwest of Wanaka. Reports of the quake being felt as far afield as Kingston (on the southern tip of Lake Wakatipu) and Dunedin were reported on geographical hazard information website GeoNet. St John South Island region communications adviser Ian Henderson said there were no reports of injuries, and no calls to its clinical control centre, resulting from the earthquake. People should always make sure they had emergency kits and other items ready in case of any emergency, and to remain in contact with friends and family, and especially any neighbours who may be elderly or alone, Mr Henderson said. But that wasn't the only jolt the people in blue and gold country were in for today: this morning a 4.2 magnitude earthquake struck, centred on the edge of Lake Te Anau. More than 50 people in towns in and around Queenstown reported feeling the quake, which Geonet described as light. As of this afternoon there had been a total of 60 reports of light shaking and 21 reports of weak shaking on Geonet's website. The quake struck at 9.22am and was centred 30km north of Te Anau, at a depth of 60km. There were two reports of light shaking in Dunedin. I'm sure glad I got out of there in time, and no, I do not plan on returning there anytime soon (maybe except for Christmas). And even if I did, Bunnings would definitely be off the list as a woman whose husband died of a heart attack in a Bunnings store has now become the latest critic of the company's stance to not have defibrillators in its stores. Wellington woman Sharron Gilmore, whose husband Peter died of a heart attack aged 62 in Bunnings Naenae in 2005, made the comments after the company's management "put its foot down'' and forced its Dunedin staff to give the store's defibrillator to a community group. Social club members from Bunnings Dunedin raised $1300 to buy the defibrillator about three years ago, after one of their colleagues died from a heart condition, but the company's management has since called for it to be removed. I got news for you greedy pigs sitting up there in corporate: defibrillators could save lives. They could save yours should you ever have a heart attack in a Bunnings store. But if you don't want them and someone dies, the blood will be on nobody's hands but your own.
27 March 2016
Easter is upon us all yet again
26 March 2016
Paint it, Cuban
25 March 2016
24 March 2016
Let's void the 'droids
At first glance, it’s easy to see why many people are overlooking the significance of Apple’s new iPhone SE. And no, it's not because of what happened in Brussels. It's because the device doesn’t feature a crazy new form factor nor does it offer up any technologies we haven’t seen before. In fact, the iPhone SE by all accounts is simply an iPhone 5 jam-packed with technologies Apple originally introduced on the iPhone 6s six months ago. Nothing special here, right Wrong. The iPhone SE is not only poised to be Apple’s sleeper hit of the season, it’s just the device Apple needs to breathe a bit of life into slowing iPhone sales. Another model of iPhone 4S could also do the trick. But whatever it takes to put Android out of business, Apple should just go ahead and do it.

























