THE MIDWEEK REVIEW: The eventual cost of greed

So come on and let them know, should they stop or should they go now?

Moyes' old club draws against Moyes' old club

John Key has resigned as Prime Minister of New Zealand, the controversial Dakota Access Pipeline is to be re-routed away from the Standing Rock reservation, and Manchester United were held to a 1-1 draw by Everton after Zlatan Ibrahimovic's first-half opener was cancelled out by a late Leighton Baines penalty at Goodison Park. The Reds had controlled much of the game, both in terms of possession and chances created, but the frustrating result leaves Jose Mourinho's sixth in the Premier League table on 21 points, just above the eighth-placed Toffees. A positive to note before the match was the return of summer signing Eric Bailly, who was named on the bench and in the squad for the first time since suffering an injury at Chelsea on 23 October. A period of silence preceded the match as respects were paid to the 75 people, including members of Brazilian football team Chapecoense, who were tragically killed in a plane crash in Colombia earlier in the week. The travelling Reds supporters also displayed a banner that emphasised the club’s support. But seriously, Mourinho, you need to improve your team. Don't be another Moyes.

Or you could have just fed everyone in Africa for the cost of the car

The new American church doesn't even begin to describe these arches

These are the same arches that have been keeping Americans obese for 76 years - and it's not just open on Sundays, boys.

Even in Turkey the people raku disciprine

A warning for the elites going into the last month of 2016 - the storm is coming

THE MIDWEEK REVIEW: The recent election

The Bellend of the Month for November 2016 is the recent presidential election, which was and is an ILLEGAL election. The Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton knowingly broke several laws that would and should have automatically disqualified her from eligibility as a candidate from the beginning of the 2016 primaries. Furthermore, President Obama and Attorney General Loretta Lynch were also keenly aware of these laws being broken by Hillary Clinton and did nothing to bring her to justice, as they should have under the law. They therefore knowingly denied the American people a fair and properly vetted election, and aided and abetted in an illegal election process that produced the illegitimate election results, which is a crime unto itself.

We at Disseminators of the Truth therefore claim and assert that the un-prosecuted crimes that were committed by Hillary Clinton with the approval the chief law enforcement officer President Obama and Attorney General Lynch directly affected the fairness and legality of the 2016 election. Because of the fact that the previously mentioned figures knew that the process was illegal and failed to act according to the law, the results of this election should automatically be vacated. A new election should be the order of the day, by law. Since this is very unlikely to happen, due to the lack of any proper law enforcement by the Obama administration, we can therefore only conclude that the results of this election were ill gotten and illegal on all accounts.

The American people were denied a proper and legal election. Therefore, Donald Trump and Mike Pence have no legal or physical right to claim the office of the President and Vice-President respectively. If this situation is not addressed prior to January 20, 2017, the figures known as Donald Trump and Mike Pence will be illegally sworn in as President and Vice-President and will have no legal authority under the law to perform any functions of these offices, thereby making any written and verbal directives from these individuals completely fraudulent and illegal.

Therefore, we do not recognize the results of the 2016 presidential election by national or international standards.

In fact, the US election has really made me appreciate John Key. He's not my choice for Prime Minister, but compared to Trump, he is a reasonable choice. He is intelligent, educated, and he understands the talking points of his saneish and mostly self-consistent policies. I trust that he does in fact take advice from those around him, and that he has a plan for New Zealand and is executing it. I don't like where he's leading us, but he is in fact leading us. I have faith that he is looking at reality, even if he's looking through a very different perspective, from a very different position. I would, in fact, trust him to run a financial business. He had no problem running against a woman and treating her with the respect he'd give anyone else. I simply assume he will concede any election he loses and hand over power gracefully, and that he would never even hint at telling his supporters to undermine the electoral process. I rate his chances of starting a nuclear war or committing similar gigantic diplomatic stuff-ups at roughly 0%. He has never (to my knowledge) gone on an angry deranged rant on Twitter at 3am, or told people to view non-existent porn. 

In short, Key isn't that bad really, but I'm not voting for an idiot who rammed the TPPA through while his army of cowards thought everyone was distracted by an earthquake. He will get his next year.

Looks like Castro lived to see his wish come true - courtesy of the DNC rigging the primary against Sanders

Reds hammed out of a win

Manchester United were held at home for the fourth consecutive time in the Premier League as visitors West Ham United forced a frustrating 1-1 draw at Old Trafford. Diafra Sakho put the Hammers ahead in less than two minutes, meeting Dimitri Payet's free-kick, but the Reds responded midway through the first half thanks to a Zlatan Ibrahimovic header. Jose Mourinho's men pushed hard for the winner, but were repeatedly thwarted by the visitors' goalkeeper Darren Randolph. Mourinho shuffled his pack following the impressive midweek win over Feyenoord with a total of six changes. The likes of David De Gea and Ander Herrera were restored to the starting XI, but Bastian Schweinsteiger was the surprise name on the United substitutes' bench. The German had not featured in the Reds' match squad since coming on in the Manchester derby victory back on 20 March when Rashford grabbed the headlines with the decisive goal. 

A man who survived over 600 assassination attempts but couldn't survive 2016

Real meds are green

a2 + b2 = c2 =/= of any help with anything important

For all those who left the stove on

THE MIDWEEK REVIEW: What tomorrow is really about

They really know how to toy with our ota

And that, my Yankee friends, is why we foreigners don't understand your crazy traditions

Reds gunned out of a win

Manchester United were denied a deserved win after Olivier Giroud's late header handed Arsenal a 1-1 draw at Old Trafford. Juan Mata had given the Reds the lead midway through the second half, arriving at the perfect time to convert Ander Herrera's clever cut-back, but Giroud's 89th-minute goal salvaged a draw for the Gunners. It was a result that flattered the visitors after they were pegged back for large periods by a lively United side, who have now been held to frustrating draws in three consecutive home league games. In short, Mourinho better pull his head in.

This beats Drumpf as far as hypocrisy goes

The Teletubbilluminati

We need to get one of those for Hillary like right now

THE MIDWEEK REVIEW: 2016 so far

The debt falls to a man of orange

To boldly elect how no land had elected before

A message for all you idiots that signed that Change.org petition to get the electoral college to vote for Clinton

As a first step, I believe it necessary for the members and leadership of the Democratic National Committee to step down and be replaced by people who are determined to create a party that represents America - including all those who feel powerless and disenfranchised, and who have been left out of our politics and left behind in our economy. 

The Democratic Party as it is now constituted has become a giant fundraising machine, too often reflecting the goals and values of the moneyed interests. This must change. The election of 2016 has repudiated it. We need a people’s party - a party capable of organizing and mobilizing Americans in opposition to Donald Trump’s Republican party, which is about to take over all three branches of the U.S. government.

America needs a New Democratic Party that will fight against intolerance and widening inequality. What happened Tuesday should not be seen as a victory for hatefulness over decency. It is more accurately understood as a repudiation of the American power structure.

At the core of that structure are the political leaders of both parties, their political operatives, and fundraisers; the major media, centered in New York and Washington DC; the country’s biggest corporations, their top executives, and Washington lobbyists and trade associations; the biggest Wall Street banks, their top officers, traders, hedge fund and private equity managers, and their lackeys in Washington; and the wealthy individuals who invest directly in politics.

At the start of the 2016 election cycle, this power structure proclaimed Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush shoo-ins for the nominations of the Democratic and Republican parties. After all, both of these individuals had deep bases of funders, well-established networks of political insiders, experienced political advisers, and all the political name recognition any candidate could possibly want.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the White House. The presidency was won by Donald Trump, who made his fortune marketing office towers and casinos, and, more recently, starring in a popular reality-television program, and who has never held elective office or had anything to do with the Republican party. Just like Al Gore in 2000, Hillary Clinton won the popular vote, but not enough of the states and their electors to secure a victory.

Hillary Clinton’s defeat is all the more remarkable in that her campaign vastly outspent the Trump campaign on television and radio advertisements and get-out-the-vote efforts. Moreover, her campaign had the support in the general election not of only the kingpins of the Democratic party but also many leading Republicans, including most of the politically active denizens of Wall Street and the top executives of America’s largest corporations, and even former Republican president George HW Bush. Her campaign team was run by seasoned professionals who knew the ropes. She had the visible and forceful backing of Barack Obama, whose popularity has soared in recent months, and his popular wife. And, of course, she had her husband.

Trump, by contrast, was shunned by the power structure. Mitt Romney, the Republican presidential candidate in 2012, actively worked against Trump’s nomination. Many senior Republicans refused to endorse him, or even give him their support. The Republican National Committee did not raise money for Trump to the extent it had for other Republican candidates for president. So what happened?

There had been hints of the political earthquake to come. Trump had won the Republican primaries, after all. More tellingly, Clinton had been challenged in the Democratic primaries by the unlikeliest of candidates - a 74-year-old Jewish senator from Vermont who described himself as a democratic socialist and who was not even a Democrat. Bernie Sanders went on to win 22 states and 47% of the vote in those primaries. Sanders’ major theme was that the country’s political and economic system was rigged in favor of big corporations, Wall Street, and the very wealthy in general. The power structure of America wrote him as an aberration, and until recently, didn’t take Trump seriously. A respected political insider recently said most Americans were largely content with the status quo. “The economy is in good shape,” he said. “Most Americans are better off than they’ve been in years.”

Recent economic indicators may be up, but those indicators don’t reflect the insecurity most Americans continue to feel, nor the seeming arbitrariness and unfairness they experience. Nor do the major indicators show the linkages many Americans see between wealth and power, stagnant or declining real wages, soaring CEO pay, and the undermining of democracy by big money.

Median family income is lower now than it was 16 years ago, adjusted for inflation. Workers without college degrees - the old working class - have fallen furthest. Most economic gains, meanwhile, have gone to top. These gains have translated into political power to elicit bank bailouts, corporate subsidies, special tax loopholes, favorable trade deals, and increasing market power without interference by anti-monopoly enforcement - all of which have further reduced wages and pulled up profits.

Wealth, power, and crony capitalism all fit together. Americans know a takeover has occurred, and they blame the establishment for it.

The Democratic party once represented the working class. But over the last three decades the party has been taken over by Washington-based fundraisers, bundlers, analysts, and pollsters who have focused instead on raising campaign money from corporate and Wall Street executives and getting votes from upper middle-class households in “swing” suburbs.

Democrats have occupied the White House for 16 of the last 24 years, and for four of those years had control of both houses of Congress. But in that time they failed to reverse the decline in working-class wages and economic security. Both Bill Clinton and Barack Obama ardently pushed for free trade agreements without providing millions of blue-collar workers who thereby lost their jobs means of getting new ones that paid at least as well.

They stood by as corporations hammered trade unions, the backbone of the white working class - failing to reform labor laws to impose meaningful penalties on companies that violate them, or help workers form unions with simple up-or-down votes. Partly as a result, union membership sank from 22% of all workers when Bill Clinton was elected president to less than 12% today, and the working class lost bargaining leverage to get a share of the economy’s gains.

Bill Clinton and Obama also allowed antitrust enforcement to ossify - with the result that large corporations have grown far larger, and major industries more concentrated. The unsurprising result of this combination - more trade, declining unionization, and more industry concentration - has been to shift political and economic power to big corporations and the wealthy, and to shaft the working class. This created an opening for Donald Trump’s authoritarian demagoguery, and his presidency.

Now Americans have rebelled by supporting someone who wants to fortify America against foreigners as well as foreign-made goods. The power structure understandably fears that Trump’s isolationism will stymie economic growth. But most Americans couldn’t care less about growth because for years they have received few of its benefits, while suffering most of its burdens in the forms of lost jobs and lower wages.

The power structure is shocked by the outcome of the 2016 election because it has cut itself off from the lives of most Americans. Perhaps it also doesn’t wish to understand, because that would mean acknowledging its role in enabling the presidency of Donald Trump.

Think about it: is this the price you want to pay just to get a woman in the White House?

The two what rigged the DNC

Trump could save America, but remember this for 2020

First Brexit, then Trump, and soon this creep's ouster

THE MIDWEEK REVIEW: And the 45th person to move into the White House is...

January 20, 2017 at noon Eastern. Mark it on your calendars as it'll be the first time in history that a billionaire moves into public housing vacated by a black family. That's right, Donald Trump has won enough states to carry a majority of the votes in the electoral college phase, but only one thing can stop him: the faithless electors. Those are people who don't vote for the candidate they were pledged to. And that means that all the other candidates still have a chance. But that won't necessarily happen. In fact, they should just get rid of the electoral college and have the winner of the popular vote (which at time of posting is still Trump by just over 1 million votes) declared president. This way, the territories (Puerto Rico, US Virgin Islands, Guam, Northern Marianas, and American Samoa) can vote in the election without having to make special arrangements for electoral college representation, and America wouldn't have had to suffer eight years of Bush despite Al Gore winning the popular vote in 2000. Oh, and term limits on Congressmen and Senators. Politicians are like diapers - they both need to be changed regularly for the same reason.

DOTT ELECTION SURVIVAL GUIDE: Vote for Stein, then organise

The U.S. elections have left millions out of the equation. Many people, especially young people, vow to continue organizing after Nov. 8 and refuse to settle for the antics of the 2016 presidential campaign. Hailing from the East, West, Midwest, and South of the U.S., these youths talk about fighting the whole rotten system. Nov. 8 brings up a series of questions for voters with good intentions. What is the greater evil — a rapist or a person who has sent armed militants to rape and murder thousands all over the globe? Who is more dangerous — a person who would allow Muslims in the U.S. to be profiled and degraded or a person who gives Israel funding to enforce apartheid? We have the progeny of the Klu Klux Klan against a flag-waving war hawk. Ultimately, anyone with the slightest bit of foresight knows the inevitability of either presidency: corporations win, more poor people die. Under either candidate, the loss of life will likely be in the millions. Neither candidate has hinted at trying to terminate police brutality, oil and coal production, factory farming, cobalt mining, or deforestation. In order to keep these industries booming, it costs millions of lives and more abject slavery. On top of that, both candidates would need to continue to fuel the war economy. This will cost the world countless lives as the imperialist invasion through the Middle East and the Global South continues. Activists and organizers are left with one choice — socialism. Both at the ballot box and in the streets. Socialism rises naturally from the people when they have been pushed to the edges of their humanity when they realize how inherently broken the current system is. The elections should only be a tool used to push awareness for socialism through third party candidates. Nov. 8 can only serve as the last mock exercise of a broken oligarchy in its attempt to cover yet another spurious election. It is critical to join together and reach out to the oppressed around the world who suffer from U.S. imperialist rule. U.S. organizers must learn how to be strong, supportive allies, they must be fully aware of the destruction the next president will indubitably cause. They must learn how to combat and deflect this destruction. The elections are a meaningless passing of the baton between cronies — all playing for the same team but fighting over the machine’s spoils. The destination is the same. This leaves activist to clean up the mess from this little pageant. It means standing on the frontlines to defend immigrants, going face to face with their police goons, disrupting business as usual, divesting from their products, generally showing that we are growing and unafraid. The U.S. presidential elections are just a day from being over. The bad news is that many people in the U.S. are finally coming to grips with our feelings of disillusionment, distrust, and discontent. On one hand, there’s Donald Trump, an openly racist misogynistic bigot. On the other, there’s Hillary Clinton, a renowned warmonger whose foreign policy decisions have brought death to millions, particularly throughout Central America, Africa, and the Middle East. Both are agents of Wall Street and the U.S. corporate elite.

In North Carolina, Georgia, and Tennessee, early voting numbers have declined drastically. Several counties and local municipalities in North Carolina are currently being sued by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People for voter suppression. North Carolina is the same state that was just fighting against stiffer voter ID laws back in July. In the city of Charlotte, N.C. community members are still seeking justice for the police murder of Keith Lamont Scott. On Sept. 20, Scott was murdered by the Charlotte Police Department as he sat waiting in his car to pick up his son from school. The shooting, featuring three armed police officers and unarmed Keith Scott, was captured on live video. There was also North Carolina’s repressive House Bill 2, which isn’t just a “bathroom bill” that discriminates against LGTBQ people; it also prevents local municipalities from increasing the minimum wage. It’s so important to have all of these struggles represented with compassion and understanding. What is happening here in the U.S. South is not an isolated regional phenomenon. Such disregard for justice, human life, and human need is unfortunately occurring worldwide. Mass solidarity is the only way that the poor and marginalized are going to create the change we need. That change, starts right there, in the United States. We know that no matter who wins this upcoming election, we’re going to have to stay in the streets and continue organizing. Nov. 8 will come and go. Unfortunately, state-sponsored violence and police brutality will still be here. Poverty and unemployment will still be here. Racism and anti-Blackness will still be here. But as activists, we have to stay vigilant and keep organizing. This Tuesday, Nov. 8, millions of people will briefly come out of their routine to cast their votes in another U.S. presidential election. Latinx (a gender-neutral and non-binary way of saying Latino/Latina) voters — like Black voters — are being used and led to think that the winner of the election will make a significant change in their lives for better or for worse. This event — which Donald Trump, in violation of the rules established by the U.S. oligarchs, quite rightly declared was rigged — is nothing but a popularity contest to decide who will be the general director of U.S. imperialism and thus continue the exploitation and oppression of people of color, and all people, at home and abroad. Although many voters and non-voters may disagree, the situation of Latinx people or any other people of color will not improve regardless of who wins this election. If the elections were good for people, they would not exist or be allowed in the U.S. It is a system created to give the impression of an impartial democracy that represents the will of the people, but the question is: What people? Certainly not the economic refugees who come from Latin America, Africa, the Middle East, or other parts of the world devastated and destroyed by Western imperialism and its agents on the pretext of promoting freedom and democracy. Certainly not the unemployed youth in inner cities who, instead of filling a job, are filling the prison cells under the school-to-prison pipeline. Certainly not undocumented workers who are forced to leave their homes, risk their lives crossing the desert, and suffer many types of violence, all to find a way to make ends meet for their loved ones. It only benefits one type of people: the rich. Thus, with all the facts pointing to the farce known as U.S. presidential elections, Latinx and all other people must realize that their vote is useless. Instead, the energy and time devoted to this symbolic gesture can be used to build and organize a movement aimed at combating the causes of the problems and injustices that are making their lives miserable. It must be a grassroots movement in association with all the oppressed, poor, and marginalized people. Students, trade unions, community organizers, progressive organizations, prisoners, undocumented workers, LGBTQ people, and all those that fight against the brutality of the elite security forces, commonly known as the police or armed forces. The demands of the movement should undoubtedly include a decent wage, amnesty for all migrants, an end to the death penalty, free education, universal health at all levels, housing, an end to all wars and military occupation, and an end to police brutality. Will Clinton or Trump do any of these things if elected? If your answer is no, I have another question for you: what's holding you back from organizing?

In the Midwest, the heroic struggle of the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, along with other Indigenous peoples, against the construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline is rooted in the fundamental right of the self-determination of oppressed nations. This fight for access to land and clean water mirrors the dark history of colonial violence on this continent. The U.S. was founded on land stolen from Indigenous nations, and created by the labor of enslaved Africans. The U.S. government waged a relentless genocidal campaign against native peoples through mass forced migration, broken treaties, and slaughter. Even today, Native Americans are seven times more likely to be killed by police than whites. Current ruling class propaganda simply erases Indigenous people, pretending they do not exist. The Standing Rock struggle has shown that nothing could be further from the truth. It is no surprise that neither presidential candidate of the U.S. capitalist two-party system has shown solidarity with Standing Rock. The Democrats and Republicans will protect the interests of the capitalist class until they are forced by revolutionary struggle to do otherwise. Furthermore, Donald Trump has personal funds invested in the oil companies involved in DAPL, and Hillary Clinton’s campaign has received millions in donations from the same banks that are funding the pipeline. In this election, there is only a “lesser evil” if Native Americans are lesser people, with a lesser right to water and life.

After a cop gunned down 23-year-old Sylville Smith in the North side of Milwaukee, a historic center of the Black community known as Sherman Park, eyewitnesses state that youth in the immediate area rebelled in self-defense against this latest atrocity of police terror. The Coalition for Justice, a Milwaukee community organization, released the following statement at the time: “What happened last night was not the result of greed or an ignorant display of anger as some have called it, but rather pain and frustration built up from over 400 years of oppression … We are one of the most segregated cities in the United States. We are the worst city for Black children to grow up in. We are a city of inequities, under-education, unemployment, oppression, drug abuse, violence.” Capitalism has left the Black youth in Milwaukee, Madison, basically all of Wisconsin — along with other oppressed people and a growing number of poor and working-class whites — with bleak futures and low-wage or no jobs. Black communities are occupied and beloved family members are gunned down by the police. As the Coalition for Justice wrote on Aug. 14: “What happened last night was a revolt and an uproar, not just a disturbance. The media has no problem to classify us at thugs … The people are angry. The people are fed up, and the people are demanding their freedom.”

Philadelphia is the poorest major city in the U.S., with its majority Black and Latinx communities the casualties of gentrification, police terror, mass incarceration, and poverty. Over 200,000 Philadelphians live on less than US$5,700 per year. Thirty-six percent of children live in poverty — a number which has skyrocketed since 2008. Over 30 schools have closed in the last three years, meanwhile, the 11,000 members of the Philadelphia Federation of Teachers have gone over 1,200 days without a raise. The Democratic Party runs Philadelphia. They have a virtual one-party dictatorship over local politics. Yet the politicians have no answers for the endless crises facing our people. Clinton supporters speak of the horrors of a Trump presidency. Trump certainly represents racism, fascism, and sexism. Just one thing, though, about how “Hillary shares our values:” I assume that means that our shared values include the importance of dropping thousands of bombs on independent countries like Libya, only to sum up the experience by saying “We came, we saw, he died.” Or perhaps we share her values expressed during her six years on the Board of Directors of Walmart. Clinton loves Wal-Mart, saying in 1990, “I’m always proud of Wal-Mart and what we do and the way we do it better than anybody else.” I assume that she means she is proud of how effectively Walmart exploits its workers in America and abroad. To be clear, I don’t share any of these values. Mass solidarity and struggle is the only way out. On Nov. 1, 4,700 transit workers in Philadelphia launched a massive strike, fighting for dignity, respect, and safety at work. These workers have promised to continue striking through the election, damaging the Clinton machine’s voter turnout in a city which votes over 90 percent Democrat.

Yes, America, this is the type of independent struggle which is needed. No matter who is elected, your fight against the racist billionaire class must go on without pause.

Zlatan takes 25,000

Manchester United have bounced back to form in style with a clinical 3-1 victory over Swansea City. A magnificent volley from Paul Pogba set the tone for the win early on, before Zlatan Ibrahimovic put the Reds firmly in control going into the break. And not content with netting the 25,000th goal of the Premier League era, Ibrahimovic had another target in his sights, and found the net again just over 10 minutes after the first. Mike van der Hoorn's header with 20 minutes remaining was no more than a consolation for the Swans, who did little to trouble David De Gea all afternoon.

SS Impossible at its next port of call

2016 has been the year of the impossible. This time last year, I would not have thought I would be moving out of my father's house. But it has happened, and now I'm living in my own place - a rental that used to be part of an RNZAF barracks at Wigram in the south west of Christchurch. And I also did not think that the Cubs would win the World Series or Leicester City the Premiership. And just this morning, Ireland beat the All Blacks for the first time in history.

And America have another drought to break on Tuesday - will it be an orange billionaire with no political background and a fear- and hate-based agenda, or a woman under FBI investigation over her email account? Or maybe a third party candidate campaigning solely on her own merits?

And it will just be more of the same unless Jill Stein wins on Tuesday

This is the only way a Trump presidency will actually be any good

Cubs conquer Indians in Game 7

The most epic drought in sports history is finally over, and the Cubs are world champions. After 108 years of waiting, the Cubs won the 2016 World Series with a wild 8-7, 10-inning Game 7 victory over the Indians on Wednesday night at Progressive Field. The triumph completed their climb back from a 3-1 Series deficit to scalp the opposition and claim their first championship since 1908. A roller-coaster of emotions spilled out in a game that lasted almost five hours, featuring some wacky plays, a blown four-run lead, a 17-minute rain delay, and some 10th inning heroics that sealed the deal. It was a perfect ending for a franchise that had waited forever for just one championship, and your stomach never will be the same. This is not a dream - the Cubs did it. It was real, and it was spectacular. Let's hope Jill Stein and Ajamu Baraka can pull off another miracle next Tuesday, otherwise America will embark on its own trail of tears when Obama steps down.

THE MIDWEEK REVIEW: The only annoying thing about the Starbucks Christmas cups #itsjustacup

Here's what I think of the douche and turd America has to choose from next week

It'll be all light on the night

The Bellend of the Month for October 2016 is this excessive display of unnecessary lights, which is currently under construction on an intersection in Christchurch that has seen zero accidents over the years:

But now that the trick or treaters are descending upon us to rot their teeth with sugary snacks, let's reflect on what this time of year really symbolises:

Burnley not burnt at goals

Frustration was the overriding feeling as Manchester United were held to a goalless draw by Burnley at Old Trafford. The Reds, who were the dominant force throughout, came up against former Academy graduate Tom Heaton in fine form in the Clarets goal, and were left to rue a host of missed chances as Zlatan Ibrahimovic hit the crossbar and captain Juan Mata struck a post. Ander Herrera was sent off midway through the second half for a second bookable offence as Jose Mourinho’s men, who drew a blank for the third successive Premier League game, were denied a first league victory in four games in front of a sell-out crowd at the Theatre of Dreams. But seriously, Ferguson was what the Reds needed all along.

Listen to Einstein and vote for Jill Stein

Get a spine, don't mock Stein

Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein labeled accusations of her links to Wall Street, coal, and the pharmaceutical industry as “a blatant smear attack” following an article in The Daily Beast that labeled her investments a conflict of interest. “This disingenuous shaming exercise is an effort to silence dissent, and a blunt attempt to bully people into refraining from exercising their democratic rights to free speech and political action,” Stein said via her website. Referencing Stein’s 2016 financial disclosure form and a 2015 federal tax return, the article claimed that Stein and her husband profited from funds with investments in corporations such as Exxon, Chevron, JP Morgan Chase, and Pfizer. The presidential candidate said that she had no control over the decision making of her investment funds and has “taken steps to divest from the worst of these holdings,” adding the investments were a “far cry from the Clintons’ backroom fundraising” and the “predatory economics” of Republican candidate Donald Trump. I may not be able to vote on account of me being from New Zealand, but if you are eligible to vote in the election, PLEASE don't vote for Trump or Clinton. Jill Stein and Ajamu Baraka are the only President and VP pair that can be trusted.

Bee aware, people

THE MIDWEEK REVIEW: The Dakota Access Pipeline

#HonortheTreaties #NoDAPL

15 years ago, an OS was born

Situation Normal, All Foured Up

It proved to be a Stamford Bridge return for Jose Mourinho to forget as the Reds boss saw his Manchester United side beaten 4-0 by former team Chelsea. The hosts netted the fastest goal of the Premier League season, after just 30 seconds, through Pedro who made the most of a defensive mix-up and slotted home. Gary Cahill fired a second on 22 minutes from a corner, before Eden Hazard added a third just after the hour-mark by finishing off a neat move from Chelsea. N’Golo Kante completed the scoring with a fine solo effort after 70 minutes on a really disappointing day for the Reds. It was a day to forget for the Reds, despite an impressively vocal backing from the away fans, but another big game lies right around the corner with a Manchester derby to come next, on Wednesday in the EFL Cup.

Paper by Siri

A University of Canterbury researcher's paper on nuclear physics, written entirely by iOS auto-complete, has been accepted by a US conference. Associate Professor Christoph Bartneck explained the strange turn of events in a blog post. On Thursday, Bartneck received an invitation from the International Conference on Atomic and Nuclear Physics to submit a paper. "Since I have practically no knowledge of Nuclear Physics I resorted to iOS auto-complete function to help me writing the paper," he explained. Bartneck, whose background is in Industrial Design and Human-Computer Interaction, started sentences for the paper using words linked to the field like "atomic" and "nuclear" and let the operating system's auto-complete function do the rest. "The text really does not make any sense." Bartneck also added an illustration on nuclear physics from Wikipedia, a few references, and created a fake identity for himself - Iris Pear (inspired by Apple's Siri). He submitted the paper (entitled Atomic Energy will have been made available to a single source) to the conference organisers and Americans being the stupid nutjobs they are, it was accepted within three hours. Automatically generating scientific articles had become easy with special dedicated software, Bartneck said. But this was a whole new ballgame. "I know that iOS is a pretty good software, but reaching tenure has never been this close." To give you an idea of just how nonsensical the finished product was, the abstract reads like so:

• Atomic Physics and I shall not have the same problem with a separate section for a very long long way. Nuclear weapons will not have to come out the same day after a long time of the year he added the two sides will have the two leaders to take the same way to bring up to their long ways of the same as they will have been a good place for a good time at home the united front and she is a great place for a good time. The atoms of a better universe will have the right for the same as you are the way we shall have to be a great place for a great time to enjoy the day you are a wonderful person to your great time to take the fun and take a great time and enjoy the great day you will be a wonderful time for your parents and kids. Molecular diagnostics will have been available for the rest by a single day and a good day to the rest have a wonderful time and aggravation for the rest day at home time for the two of us will have a great place for the rest to be great for you tomorrow and tomorrow after all and I am a very happy boy to the great day and I hope he is wonderful. Nevertheless I have to go back home to nuclear power to the united way she is to be the first woman united to work on their own and the rest will be the same way as she will have to come back to work and we are still not the way we shall have the united side and we are not the same way she is the way she said the same as she was a good time. Physics are great but the way it does it makes you want a good book and I will pick it to the same time I am just a little more than I can play for later and then it is very very good for a good game. Nuclear energy is not a nuclear nuclear power to the nuclear nuclear program he added and the nuclear nuclear program is a good united state of the nuclear nuclear power program and the united way nuclear nuclear program nuclear. Scientist and I have been very good to me today I hope I have to work on tomorrow after work today so far but I'm still going for tomorrow night at work today but I'm not going home said I am a good friend and a great time for the rest I have been doing. Physics are great but the same as you have been able and the same way to get the rest to your parents. Atoms for a play of the same as you can do with a great time to take the rest to your parents or you will be nucleus a great time for a great place. Power is not a great place for a good time.

If you want to see how that was possible, click here. But now, his paper has been accepted for the oral presentations and he has been invited to register to secure his place. The conference is set to be held in Atlanta, Georgia on November 17 and 18 (the week after either of the two worst candidates in history makes it to the White House).

Purplest of tunes to be released from beyond the grave

Warner Bros Records is about to unveil two projects by the late megastar Prince that include previously unreleased material. Prince 4Ever is a 40-song compilation of his biggest hits from his Warner Bros days along with the previously unreleased song Moonbeam Levels, recorded in 1982. It's due in US stores on November 22 and will feature a booklet with new Prince photos shot by photographer Herb Ritts. Warner Bros also says the Purple Rain deluxe reissue will come early next year. It will feature a second album of unreleased songs. Meanwhile, a US judge has said he'll try to rule quickly on whether Minnesota state law entitles a purported niece, grandniece, and nephew of Prince to press their claims to shares in the late rock superstar's estate. Lawyers for Prince's siblings said that the purported family members' claims should be rejected because they're not Prince's blood relatives, which they argued is required under a 2010 rewrite of the state's probate code. But lawyers for the would-be heirs cited a 2003 Minnesota Supreme Court decision, which they said is still valid, in arguing they don't need a genetic link. But Moonbeam Levels better not suck.

Cute food for thought

The latest food trend to come out of Hong Kong is so adorable, it's been named just that: "adorable eats". The Asian culinary city is taking everyday foods and like sushi and steamed pork buns and turning them into cute works of art. Pork buns are being stained with the shape of a panda, while dumplings are shaped to look like swimming fish, aliens, or cartoon characters. Adorable eats have become so popular in Hong Kong that there will be a dedicated section for the trend at the Hong Kong Wine and Dine Festival next week. It's already huge on social media, particularly on Instagram. But just like with Pokemon Go, I'm staying out of this one.

Trophy trip-up at Customs

After three weeks of haggling with New Zealand Customs officials, three Dunedin chefs have finally received the trophies and medals they won at a South Pacific culinary competition in Australia last month. Greg Piner and Fifi Leong, both of restaurant Vault 21, and Ken O'Connell, of Bracken, won The Battle of the Pacific title, during a three-day fine foods trade event in Melbourne in mid-September. However, the trio were shocked when they returned to New Zealand, to find the Customs Service wanted them to pay $180 for the release of the package containing the trophy and medals. "They said there was an excise on all trophies and awards, except the Melbourne Cup and the Bledisloe Cup, but there is no monetary value on them. We won them in a competition representing New Zealand, and it's just bizarre," Mr O'Connell said, adding Customs was adamant there is no way they could release the awards until the fee was paid. New Zealand Customs Service external relations manager Helen Keyes said trophies and medals won overseas in a competition were usually exempt of GST, and the comment about the only cups that are duty free coming into New Zealand are the Bledisloe and Melbourne Cup was incorrect. "In this case, it appears that the shipping company has declared the goods as trophies without indicating that they have been won in a competition. This has triggered the standard charges for imported goods," Ms Keyes said, adding Customs was not contacted by the importer or the shipping company. Since learning of the incident, New Zealand Customs had contacted the shipping company to obtain more details of the consignment. As a result, Customs had waived the $127.84 assessed as payable to Customs ($78.64 GST and $49.20 transaction fee), which shouldn't have been assessed in the first place.

THE MIDWEEK REVIEW: The only worthy candidate this time round

Reds have scoreless tie as Mindy turns 65

Today may be Pam Dawber's 65th birthday, but I have found something better to celebrate - the Reds not losing. But they still should have won. Instead, Jose Mourinho’s first taste of Manchester United’s historic rivalry with Liverpool ended with a goalless draw at Anfield, where two world-class saves from David De Gea proved pivotal. Monday night’s match was largely an even contest throughout with the teams fashioning a few chances to score, particularly in the livelier second half when De Gea's athletic ability enabled him to deny Emre Can and Philippe Coutinho with astonishing acts of goalkeeping. It was United’s first match at Anfield since the new Main Stand had opened earlier this term and the increased attendance contributed to a particularly rousing rendition of the club anthem You’ll Never Walk Alone. A frenzied atmosphere sound-tracked the opening exchanges, too, particularly when the home fans protested the referee’s decision not to caution Marcus Rashford for an early foul on James Milner.

#knowyourpurple

Get a spine, vote Jill Stein

It's the end of the road for the first ever monarch born in the US

It costs more per loaf to buy 3 than 2

Big Oil are scum

THE MIDWEEK REVIEW: Climate change is real

Too bad there aren't any Oscars on offer for that - not that he needs any more.

That goes for you too, Drumpf

WADA set to become a bigger brother

With the Russian doping scandal still roiling international sports and dividing its leaders, Olympic officials met in Switzerland on Saturday to discuss overhauling the world’s antidoping system. They emerged with a plan to increase the power of the World Anti-Doping Agency, affirming that organization’s central role in the fight against cheating. After a four-hour, closed-door meeting with some 20 sports officials, Thomas Bach, the president of the International Olympic Committee, announced the creation of a new drug-testing authority to operate under WADA and handle doping control at the Games — a responsibility that has long rested with the IOC. Surprising some antidoping officials who worried WADA would become a scapegoat, Mr. Bach expressed broad support for the agency, the 17-year-old regulator of drugs in sports. Mr. Bach called for WADA to be fortified but deferred to the agency itself on specifics, including how much more money it would need to carry out its expanded mandate. WADA is expected to take up the topic at executive meetings next month, and IOC officials will most likely review the decisions in December. But whatever happens, there better not be a repeat of that crap at Pyeongchang or Tokyo.

#ToothsticeForAssange

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is still in need of a new tooth, but the United Kingdom won’t let him get one. After a "domiciliary dental emergency appointment" in July of last year, Assange, locked up in the Ecuadorean embassy in London for fear of extradition to the U.S., the dentist recommended that Assange be allowed to leave the complex for a more serious operation of his premolar tooth. Fifteen months later, Assange is still in pain since the UK continues to deny him medical treatment. The dental records were part of a package of his medical and psycho-social assessments published by WikiLeaks ahead of a ruling in Sweden on his arrest warrant to show that his arrest is arbitrary and a violation of his rights, as the United Nations ruled in February. Sweden decided last month to uphold the arrest warrant for allegations of rape, prolonging the legal standoff that has kept him in the London embassy for over four years. A rotting tooth is just one of the side effects of his isolation and testament to the UK’s refusal to deliver appropriate treatment without arresting him. All that money spent on a 24/7 police guard could be spent on appropriate dental treatment thousands of times over.

In honour of the most lopsided football match of all time

This picture is gold

Either way, someone or something is screwed

Who the True Terrorists Are

THE BIG REVIEW: Courage

One point apiece in the continuing fall

Manchester United were denied a fourth straight win in all competitions on a frustrating afternoon at Old Trafford, as Stoke City struck late on to secure a point. Anthony Martial, on as a second-half substitute, curled home beautifully from 12 yards for his first goal of the season to give the Reds the lead in the 69th minute. But, with eight minutes remaining, Joe Allen scored from close range to earn Mark Hughes' side their first-ever Premier League point at the Theatre of Dreams. But it'll take more than just one point to get them the title. I hope Mourinho can pull it off.

Don't even try sending him back to India

Anne-ception