Another month is over, and so another must enter the Sick Phoque Club. The inductee for March 2018 is an eBay seller from West Grove, Pennsylvania going by the name Terri Ferkler (user name is ferk1212). Why? Quite simple, really: she sent me the wrong dress. I paid for this:
Marcus Rashford at his brilliant lethal best was Jose Mourinho’s ace up his sleeve that saw Manchester United beat rivals Liverpool in an Old Trafford thriller. The Mancunian scored twice in the first half as United made an electrifying start but the hosts then had to endure an attempted comeback by the Merseysiders, boosted by an Eric Bailly own goal in the 66th minute. A stubborn response to Liverpool's recovery and a rediscovered taste for the big-rival scalps - Chelsea were beaten in the last home game, of course - meant that United survived a nail-biting finale and extended the gap between second and third place to five points ahead of the weekend's other Premier League fixtures.
But enough about all that because this blog turns eight tomorrow, and as per the tradition at this time of year, we honour three people or groups who were smarter than the average with the Yogi Awards. Today's one goes to the organisers of last week's Oscars. They were smarter than the average in that they didn't muck up the Best Picture award like they did last year. The Shape of Water actually did deserve to win. But it would have been nice to have a woman win Best Director.
Manchester United fought back from two goals down to claim a sensational victory thanks to a Nemanja Matic winner in added time under the lights at Selhurst Park. Andros Townsend put Crystal Palace ahead in the first half and Patrick van Aanholt doubled their lead early in the second, but the Reds roared back with goals from Chris Smalling, Romelu Lukaku, and of course Matic. The Serbian's first goal in the United shirt, a dipping, left-footed effort from distance, sent the travelling fans into delirium and lifted the Reds back into second place in the Premier League table. While second is good enough for a spot in the Champions League, it's still not enough for the Premiership silverware.
February 2018 has almost come to an end, and unfortunately for the Sick Phoque Club's newest member, so has the line. I'm talking about none other than Sega, who accidentally released the full version of Yakuza 6 for free. The demo, made available on the PlayStation Store, clocked in at over 30GB. There was a good reason for that: the download actually contains the full game, with only the opening stages made playable. The idea was that if you later decide to buy it, you'd be purchasing an unlock code. That was the idea, anyway.In practice, for at least some lucky downloaders, they left out the lockout restrictions. Fans quickly discovered this while playing through; where the demo was supposed to end at a certain point early in the game, some players found they could just ... keep going, and earn trophies as they went. They'd basically downloaded, and were playing through, the full game.
Sega quickly noticed this and pulled the demo from the North American store. The European and Australian versions of the demo appear to have been the correct versions, so they're still up. But I liked Sega better when they were making consoles.
Jesse Lingard’s penchant for the big occasion brilliantly tipped the balance for Manchester United against title-holders Chelsea as the Reds reclaimed second place in the Premier League table. United's no.14 headed in the 75th-minute winner at Old Trafford, connecting with a cross by Romelu Lukaku who had earlier cancelled out the Blues' opener by Willian to square the match at 1-1 for half-time. It was a masterstroke by Jose Mourinho to bring on Lingard, the scorer of FA Cup and EFL Cup final goals for the club, and the susbtitute had the scent for glory again only 12 minutes after coming on. The Reds were in danger of allowing Antonio Conte’s side to draw level in the table and tighten up the battle for the coveted top four berths. But instead the stubborn Reds refused to fold after going a goal down and ultimately restored the longstanding state of play in the league. But there's still a big bit to go if they want their 14th Premiership title.
And I know the perfect date to put that bullet in his thick orange skull: 22nd November - the 55th anniversary of the last successful presidential assassination. We should also get Melania to wear a pink Chanel suit like the one Jackie was wearing.A US school teacher has died from flu complications after deciding to forgo anti-viral medication because it "costs too much", her husband tells US media. Heather Holland, 38, had taught at a Texas school before her death last Sunday. She leaves behind a husband and two young children. Her husband bought the Tamiflu medicine for $116 (£84) a day before she went to hospital, but it was too late. Experts think the current flu outbreak may be one of the worst in US history. "It just sounded like her throat was scratchy" at first, her husband Frank Holland, told the Wall Street Journal, before her symptoms worsened throughout the week. Doctors prescribed medication, but she chose not to purchase it. That's what's wrong with America's healthcare system. In many cases, it's a lot cheaper to fly to another country and get vital surgery there than to stay in America. Europe does it better. In fact, Europe does LOTS of things better - watch Michael Moore's documentary Where to Invade Next to see how.
Despite a number of clear-cut opportunities, a second-half Matt Ritchie strike consigned Manchester United to a frustrating 1-0 defeat to Newcastle inside an ardent St James' Park on Sunday afternoon. The Reds, who donned black armbands in tribute to the late Liam Miller, should have been out of sight after Alexis Sanchez, Anthony Martial, and Romelu Lukaku all had clear chances, but Ritchie snatched all three points midway through the second half. Before the game, Jose Mourinho revealed how much he admired Newcastle's stadium and the atmosphere on Tyneside, and the home crowd were nearly on their feet inside five minutes - Dwight Gayle's free-kick was blocked by the Reds wall before Jonjo Shelvey fired the rebound towards goal which brought a superb right-handed save from David De Gea to keep the scores level.
Manchester United returned to winning ways with a much improved performance, after their midweek dip against Tottenham Hotspur, and it could easily have been a broader margin than the 2-0 result achieved with goals from Romelu Lukaku and Alexis Sanchez, the Chilean's first for the club. The 60th anniversary of the Munich Air Disaster was commemorated with a perfectly observed minute’s silence before the start of the game. Remarkably, with more than 70,000 inside the ground, there wasn’t a sound. This was the first League meeting at Old Trafford between United and Huddersfield Town since Saturday 11 March 1972 but, of course, the corresponding fixture at the John Smith's Stadium ended in a shock 2-1 defeat. But we need to focus on the here and now, and getting three points closer to their first Premiership crown without Fergie.
Manchester United’s run of eight games without defeat came to an end at Wembley Stadium in front of a record crowd for a Premier League game. The Reds' impressive defensive record, which had the opposition shut out in six straight matches in all competitions, was ended by a Christian Eriksen strike and Phil Jones's own goal. I always say to keep putting the ball in the back of the net, but they need to remember to put it in their opponents' net. An own goal only ever helped the "scorers" once, when Barbados beat Grenada in 1994.
