From one joker to another

Following her split this week with One Direction singer Harry Styles, sources confirmed Tuesday that Taylor Swift has moved on and is now dating mass murder suspect James Holmes. “Taylor and James were first spotted canoodling at a pre-trial hearing, and we were able to confirm today that the two are indeed an item,” gossip blogger Perez Hilton wrote of the relationship between the 23-year-old singer-songwriter and the 25-year-old accused Aurora theater gunman, nicknaming the couple “Swolmes.” I'm glad Swift has found someone, but I'm worried that she could be Holmes's next victim. She should stick to playing rubbish music and leave playing with fire to the professionals. And speaking of professional, professional thieves nabbed 7,000 Wii U consoles from a warehouse in Seattle, Washington. Police reported today that they have found two trucks involved in the theft of the Nintendo consoles. Police found the smaller box truck in the nearby municipality of Fife, Washington, with the commercial logos removed, and a semi truck in Auburn with the vehicle identification number covered up and a new company name "S.S. Trans" painted on the sides. But while some of the evidence of the theft was recovered, police are no closer to finding the 7,000 consoles stolen. They are still hot on the chase.