All sharks must go!

Shark attacks are rare in New Zealand. Only 11 fatal attacks had taken place since records began in 1847, and the last confirmed shark fatality was in 1976 in the Bay of Plenty. Until now, that is. A shark has killed a man off a beach near the New Zealand city of Auckland. The attack took place around 1:30 this afternoon at Muriwai Beach, to the west of the country's largest city. This is why sharks need to go. They are an unnecessary menace lurking in waters around the world, and they cause harm to good people every day. For example, if it weren't for sharks, Bethany Hamilton would still have both of her arms. So next time you see a shark, make sure you have a harpoon on you. You'll thank me later.