Hello Human???

That's right, people of Earth. Hot news out of Japan: Hello Kitty — the stuffed animal that looks like a cat, talks like a cat, and is named after a cat — actually isn't a cat at all. The British "perpetual third-grader" is also apparently a twin, a Scorpio (birthdate November 1), and a big fat fraud. The earth shattering disclosure was made in advance of the first Hello Kitty-con, set to take place in Los Angeles this fall. This is the last thing the world needs right now - Robin Williams died two and a half weeks ago, Manchester United's new manager hasn't won a single Premier League game yet, and now this crap. Speaking of crap, a disgusting act of vandalism forced officials in St. Thomas, Ontario to close the Jaycees public swimming pool yesterday morning (Eastern Daylight Time). Officials say the facility on Inkerman Street is off limits after someone threw dog feces into the pool overnight. St. Thomas Police believe it happened sometime between Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. In a police release, they called the incident a “senseless act of mischief”. The pool is now closed for the season, three days before it was supposed to. Whoever did this should be traded for Robin Williams.