Zayn and Jeremy shift to bottom gear

Well, it’s been quite an afternoon in the world of Celebville, hasn’t it? No sooner was it confirmed that Jeremy Clarkson would not be returning to ‘Top Gear’, than Zayn Malik caused a second wave of hysteria by announcing that he was quitting One Direction. After five years with the boyband, Zayn revealed on Wednesday afternoon that he was stepping down from the group, so he could try and live the life of a “normal 22-year-old”, while the band has confirmed it intends to carry on as a four-piece, without Zayn. It hasn’t escaped our attention that both announcements were made on the same afternoon, and there's now a vacancy on both 'Top Gear' and in One Direction which has got us thinking about whether some class of showbiz job-swap is about to go on right under our noses - but what's on my mind right now is who will be the Black Caps' first ever final opponents. Will it be Australia, who we already beat by 1 wicket earlier in the tournament? Or will it be India, who are also at the top of their pool's table? At time of writing, India have a target of 329 runs to chase and are almost an eighth of the way there.