The bug without the fix

DISCLAIMER: This post was done entirely with an iOS and Mac app called RemoteMouse. To find out more about it, click here. The Bellend of the Month of September 2015 is the genius who didn't fix the lockscreen bug in the latest version of iOS. The bugs that were fixed in last week's update, iOS 9.0.1, include a system freeze on the slide to update screen, alarms and timers that would fail to go off, and frame distortion in paused videos. The one bug Apple didn't address allows an intruder to bypass a device's lock screen and access your photos and contacts. See it in action here:

THE BIG REVIEW: Pranksters in Love

This is hands down the best YouTube channel out there. Click here and enjoy.

Volkswagen turning into Stinkwagen

Who knew about the deception, when did they know it, and who directed it? Those are among questions that state and federal investigators want answered as they plunge into the emissions scandal at Volkswagen that has cost the chief executive his job, caused stock prices to plummet, and could result in billions of dollars in fines. Legal experts say the German automaker is likely to face significant legal problems, including potential criminal charges, arising from its admission that 11 million of its diesel vehicles sold worldwide contained software specifically designed to help cheat emissions tests. The Environmental Protection Agency has accused VW of installing sophisticated stealth software that enabled "clean diesel" versions of its Passat, Jetta, Golf, and Beetle models to detect when they were being tested and emit less-polluting exhaust than in real-world driving conditions. The agency says the "defeat devices" allowed those models to belch up to 40 times the allowed amounts of harmful fumes in order to improve driving performance. Driving performance is a must when deciding on your next vehicle, but so is telling the truth. It's bad enough that VW got its start because of a promise Hitler made but eventually didn't keep; they have now had their integrity called into question because they decided to go the same way as certain sporting "greats" like Tom Brady and Lance Armstrong.

LVG makes it to the top

After beating Sunderland 3-0 at Old Trafford, Manchester United now sit top of the table with 16 points after seven matches - that's one more point than bitter rivals Manchester City. Memphis Depay opened the scoring for Manchester United in first-half injury time from close range, United captain Wayne Rooney ended his 12-game league goal drought with a second shortly after the interval, and Juan Mata completed the scoreline with another close range strike on 90 minutes. This is what the Reds have been fighting for ever since Alex Ferguson left. Keep it up, guys. As for Sunderland, they remain rooted to the bottom of the table and still yet to record a Premier League win this season.

It seems Bruce Jenner is finally no more

Bruce Caitlyn Jenner can make her name and gender change legitimate, a judge ruled. Jenner filed paperwork with the court on September 15 requesting the change after her transition as a transgender woman. She asked her name be legally changed to Caitlyn Marie Jenner and her gender be made female. The petition has been granted, Los Angeles Superior Court spokeswoman Liz Martinez said Friday. It means her new name now replaces her birth name of William (yes, William) Bruce Jenner. But the reality is, I just don't care. I just don't see why the Kardashian clan have to be such a big deal. We already know he's a tranny, we don't need that crap shoved in our faces non-stop.

Comet - it makes your teeth turn green

And it's also the name of a buoyant smartphone. Don't believe me? Check this out.

Got high hopes for the game against Namibia

The All Blacks have never faced Namibia. Until now. And records could tumble when the All Blacks face Namibia in the biggest mismatch of the 2015 Rugby World Cup tomorrow. Not only does the game pitch world No 1 against No 20, it also pitches the biggest whipping boys in World Cup history against the biggest bullies. Namibia have the worst average losing margin of any minnow team against a tier-one team in World Cup history. The All Blacks, on the other hand, have by far the highest average winning margin against minnow teams at World Cups (64 points) - 17 points more than the next biggest bullies, Australia. They will win this one hands down.

Deader than the average Berra

Baseball legend Yogi Berra, whose humorous quotes made him one of America's most beloved sports icons, has died at the age of 90. The Yogi Berra Museum announced that the Hall of Fame catcher had died on Tuesday evening. Berra spent almost all of his 19-year career with the New York Yankees. He was a three-time Most Valuable Player and 13-time World Series champion. His famous "Yogi-ism" quotes included "it ain't over till it's over". And now it's over. Yogi will be sadly missed, as will his insatiable love of pic-a-nic baskets.

THE BIG REVIEW: Gotham S2E1

A review of the season premiere will be up once I can get the episode downloaded, copied to a USB stick, and viewed. Right now, our household has ditched Sky and subscribed to Netflix so now I'm just about to binge on another Jonah from Tonga marathon - brought to me without the help of an expensive satellite!

United under Martial law

Anthony Martial enhanced his burgeoning reputation by scoring twice in a 3-2 win over Southampton that moves Manchester United up to second in the Barclays Premier League. The French summer signing executed two impressively composed finishes either side of the half-time break to overturn Graziano Pelle’s opener at St Mary’s. Juan Mata enhanced the lead and Italian striker Pelle bagged his second to set up a tense finale, though the Reds held on to claim an excellent result that closes the gap on leaders Manchester City to just two points following City's well-deserved home defeat to West Ham. To say that Martial is really proving himself on the field is an understatement. He may well be what the Reds needed all along.

The Rise of the iDroid

Apple's first Android (logo pictured) app, "Move to iOS", which lets users migrate mobile phone data to a new iOS device, is reportedly easy to use. However, tech enthusiasts warn against loss of data and other data transfer issues. Following Apple's launch of "Move to iOS" Android app on Sept. 16, users affirm that the process of migrating data to an iPhone or iPad running on iOS 9 is relatively easy, except for the loss of some data. According to Mac World, users should know which contents are transferred and where they get stored in the iOS device. For instance, although there is an option to transfer all photos, some might be lost because of lack of space in the iOS device. Users need to check if all files they want to transfer are migrated into the device. I have a solution for that: don't skimp on storage space for your new iDevice just because it's cheaper to do so. And make sure you don't have too much stuff on your Android. Also, you shouldn't even be using Android in the first place. Android is by far the most retarded excuse for a mobile operating system. If it's not Apple, it's crapple.

Chromecast to serve up some tunes

Google may have more than one Chromecast to show when it announces new products later this month. According to 9to5Google, Google is also working on a Chromecast that's designed for streaming music and other audio. It's apparently called Chromecast Audio, and it'll hook up to speakers through a standard 3.5mm headphone cable. But seriously I just don't care. How is such a pointless device going to help the cord-cutters among us stream their Netflix or whatever else they use to their TV? And why would you want one when other devices exist for their intended purpose?

Almost time for the RWC

And I hope the All Blacks can successfully defend their title.

Thumbs up for thumbs down

During a Q&A session at Facebook HQ, CEO Mark Zuckerberg revealed the company is planning to publicly test a Dislike button. It’s finally real. While Zuckerberg had previously suggested Facebook was considering alternatives to ‘liking’ something, this is the first time he has definitively indicated it will ship a Dislike button to users. By the sound of it, we may not even have to wait too long. He was also clear the button won’t be about fostering negativity the way YouTube and Reddit’s downvotes often can. Instead, it’s about “expressing empathy.” Proponents of the dislike button have long argued that the Like button is not appropriate for certain topics – sad news about the refugee crisis, for instance – and that a wider gamut of reactions could help people to more accurately express their emotions without needing to type out a full comment. It’s quite possible the company is working on a wider range of reactions, so posts aren’t limited to simple Likes and Dislikes. Maybe a merger with Google could be next?

News to lick donuts to

Ariana Grande has just made a very exciting announcement — she’s releasing a BRAND NEW single! While promoting her gorgeous new fragrance line, the singer revealed that she has a new single dropping very, very soon. While sitting down and chatting with Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show last night, Ariana revealed her new single “Focus” will be released on October 30. We can’t wait! “My first single off my new album is coming out on Oct. 30,” Ariana said before Jimmy asked, “What is the name of the song?” “It’s called Focus,” she proudly added. It’s a really exciting time to be an Ariana fan, especially as she promotes her first-ever fragrance line, Ari by Ariana Grande. So now not only do you have new music on the way, but you also have new music to listen to as you spritz yourself with her scent! While I myself won't use her scent, I would totally lick some donuts to her new song if it's any good. Speaking of which, just when you thought #Donutgate was over, Ariana has apologized again for offending many of her fans when she said “I hate Americans” on July 4. “My behavior was very offensive and I apologized,” Ariana told Good Morning America. “There’s no excuse or there’s nothing to justify it. I think that as human beings we all say and do things that we don’t mean at all sometimes and we have to learn from it, I mean, it’s part of our process. We have to learn from our mistakes and that’s how we grow.” “I think one of the biggest things I learned from that was what it feels like to disappoint so many people who love and believe in you. And that’s an excruciating feeling… You have to remember that your words, your actions, have, you know, ramifications and you have to really think about what you’re about to say and do because it’s important. It’s important to so many people,” she went on. But what's important right now is whether or not New Zealand can become the first nation to successfully defend the Rugby World Cup.

THE BIG REVIEW: The new PS4

If you've delayed getting a PlayStation 4 for whatever reason, your call might have been right as the new version of the PlayStation 4 is not only lighter and more power efficient but has some other little tweaks. Apparently the CUH-1200 new models are apparently at least 12 decibles quieter and use 30 watts less power than the older CUH-1215. The touch-sensitive buttons have also been swapped up for more responsive mechanical buttons, and the machine does run a little hotter but has fewer memory modules on the motherboard with a lower-output power supply. But there is still no backwards compatibility. The PS1 and PS2 had games actually worth playing like Crash Bandicoot and Spyro. Sadly, the only way to play Spyro on a PS4 is if you have one of a series of games called Skylanders, and even then, he's not the main character and his appearance is to previous Spyro games what Saudi Arabia is to women's rights.

Why the iPad Pro could be good for Microsoft

Sounds unlikely but I'll bite. Apple's new iPad - though not expected to sell like crazy - could lift the entire market for large, touchscreen tablets, boosting the fortunes of Microsoft, Dell, and several other hardware makers. Going on sale in November, the iPad Pro comes with features and accessories designed to make it more suitable as a work machine than the first nine iPad models. Its screen size is just a centimetre less than the MacBook Pro's 13-inch display, and it weighs half as much as the laptop. It supports running multiple apps at once and works well with speedy Internet connections. In fact, in introducing the iPad Pro at an event in San Francisco on Thursday, Apple stated that the processor and display on the iPad Pro were superior to many popular laptops. Most demos focused on using the iPad Pro to create, edit, and calculate. This is a stark leap from five years ago when then-Apple chief executive Steve Jobs introduced the iPad as a thing to read, watch, and listen. So come on, people. This is an iPad we're talking about here. How can you not want this?

New guy seals visitors' fate

Manchester United earned another victory to savour against Liverpool with Anthony Martial scoring on a dream debut to ensure a 3-1 triumph at Old Trafford. The visitors looked to have set up a nervous finale when Christian Benteke's spectacular strike replied to earlier goals by Daley Blind and Ander Herrera. However, Martial took centre stage by announcing his arrival with a superb solo third. Van Gaal bought Martial for his planned successor Ryan Giggs, and I know he made the right choice in doing so because Martial clearly knows one of the fundamental things about excelling in soccer: you have to keep putting the ball in the back of the net.

Time to print some keys

It's a basic fact of life that once you publish something on the Internet, it's pretty much impossible to get it back. Now illustrating that point with painful clarity, images of the TSA's master luggage keys have been published online, meaning that anyone with a 3D printer can make their own. It all started when The Washington Post published a story last November about "the secret life of baggage" that was reportedly accompanied - only briefly, though - by a photo of the master keys the Transportation Security Administration uses to open what it calls "TSA recognized" luggage locks. The photo was hastily taken down, but not before it was snagged and circulated. Reports about the leak began to appear last month, but it wasn't until this week that detailed blueprints showed up on GitHub. "Security researchers have long warned of the dangers of using master-keyed locks," wrote Xyl2k, the GitHub user who posted the detailed plans. They were right to warn us because anyone with a 3D printer can now create their own copies of the TSA master keys, which were designed to enable security officers to inspect luggage without having to cut off any locks protecting it. They work on locks created specifically for that purpose through partnerships between the agency and lock manufacturers. But enough about that because Super Mario, the hyperactive little plumber who has become one of the best-known characters in video-gaming history, celebrates his 30th birthday tomorrow for which Japanese giant and creator Nintendo is marking the event with the release of a creative new format. Big deal. It's not the only birthday in the video gaming world to take place in recent days. The North American releases of the PlayStation and the Dreamcast were both on September 9 (in 1995 and 1999 respectively), with both consoles having been launched in Japan a year prior. And Spyro the Dragon turned 17 on Thursday.

Allegiant to split into Allegiant and Ascendant

Lionsgate has retitled the final two films of its “Divergent” franchise, “The Divergent Series: Allegiant — Part 1” and “The Divergent Series: Allegiant — Part 2.” The third film in the franchise is now going by the name “The Divergent Series: Allegiant” and is scheduled to open March 18, 2016. The fourth and final pic has been renamed “The Divergent Series: Ascendant” and will open March 24, 2017. Both movies are based on Veronica Roth’s “Allegiant,” the third novel in her “Divergent” trilogy, which begins with the Faction system being dismantled. The studio also revealed new logos for the next two films with the taglines “Break the boundaries of your world” for the third and “The end is never what you expect” for the fourth. But just as long as Ascendant doesn't suck, it's all good.

Old germ, meet the old germ

A ‘giant’ virus has been unearthed in the frozen wastelands of Siberia and reports are that researchers will reanimate it. It is reportedly a 30,000-year-old giant virus and might receive a wake up call provided it poses no threat to living forms. It’s hoped the study could shed insight into ancient dormant viruses that could get another chance at spreading as permafrost retreats due to climate change. Mark my words, polluters: if you don't stop it, we could be done for if a virus from pre-history were to make a comeback.

Punniest. Puns. Ever.

They say couples who IKEA together, stay together … OK, "they" don't all say that – only some do. Anyone who's been furniture shopping knows every single trip means serious business – that is unless you bring someone with you who doesn't agree. This was the case for Dana who was trying to go about her normal IKEA business, only to have her boyfriend Simon turn the trip into a game by making puns with those hard-to-pronounce Swedish product names. Because sometimes you just have to let go and have pun:

THE BIG REVIEW: Having a new feature up and running

It's just great that there's a replacement out there.

Second Jobs biopic already looking to be a winner

A weekend screening of “Steve Jobs,” a biopic about Apple Inc’s famous co-founder, drew high praise from some reviewers and suggestions that actor Michael Fassbender could be an Oscar contender for his portrayal of Jobs. While the positive views were not unanimous, Variety.com was impressed. Its reviewer said that Fassbender, director Danny Boyle, and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin gave Steve Jobs “the brilliant, maddening, ingeniously designed, and monstrously self-aggrandizing movie he deserves.” It described the movie as a “terrific actors’ showcase and an incorrigibly entertaining ride that looks set to be one of the fall’s early must-see attractions.” The website also listed Fassbender as a “no-brainer best actor Oscar contender.” I've only seen the one with Ashton Kutcher playing Jobs, so I wouldn't know how Fassbender's one will fare.

Replacing the Bad Idea of the Week is...

Not telling.

Kid power + lead = one less intruder

An 11-year-old St. Louis-area boy left alone at home with his 4-year-old sister staved off several home invasion attempts before finally shooting and killing a 16-year-old intruder, according to police. At least one neighbor, however, offered a different account of the shooting - that the boys were arguing on the front porch before the younger child pulled out a gun and shot the teenager. The incident occurred Thursday afternoon in north St. Louis County. Police called to the home discovered the teenager's body lying in the front foyer. St. Louis County police Sgt. Brian Schellman said it was the third time that the 16-year-old had attempted to break into the house. Neither sibling was hurt, and it wasn't immediately known why the two were left alone in the first place or why the 11-year-old had access to the firearm. It was reported that the mother purchased the handgun because of prior break-in attempts. It's sad, really, that people need to resort to firearms. If Spyro was a real dragon, he could've used his fire breath to take care of that delinquent without the need to pump him full of lead.

THE BIG REVIEW: The last 2000 days

It's been a great journey - here's to the next 2000.

AIDing in the prevention of AIDS

Demonstrating that taking a daily pill to prevent HIV infection can work in the real world, San Francisco’s largest private health insurer announced yesterday that not one of its 657 clients receiving the drug had become infected over a period of more than two years. That outcome contradicted some critics’ predictions that so-called pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, would lead to less condom use and more HIV infections. A study published in Clinical Infectious Diseases found that the San Franciscans on PrEP, almost all of whom were gay men, did use fewer condoms — and contracted several other STD's as a result. But none got HIV. Now onto finding a cure for this evil disease.

Conman's last chance

A man who conned an Oamaru woman out of NZ$15,000 has been told to repay the money or face jail time. The man in question, 33-year-old Mrinal Sardana, had his sentencing at the Dunedin District Court this morning deferred until Friday after claiming he could pay the money back in full by that date. I hope he does because the trial judge, Kevin Phillips, told Sardana and his counsel, John Westgate, that failure to front up with the money by 9am New Zealand time on Friday, plus NZ$5000 reparation for emotional harm to the victim, would result in a jail sentence of around 15 months. Sardana was found guilty by a jury in July of obtaining by deception after he falsely represented himself to the victim as a wealthy businessman and said he would establish her in a business. He then accepted $15,000 in cash from the victim on May 17 last year, before flying to Macau and losing the money gambling. At time of writing, he has just under 35 hours to win all that money back otherwise he will be spending the rest of this year, and almost all of next year, behind bars. If he does pay the money back by Friday, he will only face four months' community detention and 300 hours' community work.

2000 POSTS

And we have a super Bellend of the Month for August 2015 - Lakeisha Hunter. She was arrested last month for putting vaginal discharge in a customer's burger. That is the epitome of disgusting and I hope she gets what's coming to her.