No jail for the conman

The Bellend of the Month for August 2013 is Andrew Ashworth, who is the Vinerian Professor of English Law at Oxford University. He stated this month that thieves and fraudsters should not be jailed. According to Ashworth, jail should be reserved for offenders who commit crimes of a violent, sexual, or threatening nature. That does not seem right at all. Most property crimes are already treated leniently by the criminal justice system for the very reason that they do not involve violence. But the type of crime is not a reliable indicator of the impact that an offence has on a victim. People who commit these crimes, or any crime for that matter, devastate lives and cause untold misery in the community. It would be hard for community sentences to retain public confidence if offenders knew they could keep committing certain types of crime and never be jailed. The idea that governments should ban judges from sending offenders to jail for theft and fraud is completely wrong, because you also have to deal with the reality that for those offenders who do receive short sentences, it's because community penalties have already failed time and time again.

We'll just render this here Arabic text... and it's crashed!

A bug in Apple’s CoreText rendering engine in iOS 6 and OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion causes any apps that try to render a string of Arabic characters to crash on sight. The string of characters which can trigger the bug — which was discovered yesterday and has spread around the hacking and coding community — has made its way to Twitter, where even looking at it in your timeline will crash the app. The issue affects apps on iOS 6 and Mountain Lion but does not work on upcoming releases OS X 10.9 Mavericks and iOS 7 beta. So whatever bug the characters are triggering, they’ve already been fixed in future releases of the engine. This doesn’t help anyone still on iOS 6 or Mountain Lion of course. If you're curious about exactly which string is causing this problem, click here. But enough about that because the US government has said it will not sue to stop the states of Colorado and Washington from legalising recreational use of marijuana. The justice department said it would focus on preventing underage access to the drug and keeping drug cash from criminals, but declined legal action.

Can only go Uup from here

As though it wasn't hard enough to memorize the names and atomic weights of 117 elements in the periodic table, scientists have now confirmed a new one. Researchers from Lund University in Sweden created it by slamming atoms of one element, calcium (atomic number 20), into atoms of another called americium (atomic number 95). The newly formed element vanished quickly in a flash of radiation that scientists could measure. That flash, or "fingerprint," confirmed the existence of an element with 115 protons at its center. That would give it the atomic number of 115 on the periodic table, the list of all elements known to humanity. The discovery of a new element is always something to watch out for, but it should be pointed out that the researchers from Sweden were the second group of scientists to create the element. A group of Russian scientists put together the same type of atom in 2003, but the new experiment corroborated their work and confirmed 115's existence. Still, this doesn't mean that you'll see element 115 (tentatively named ununpentium) on the next periodic table poster that gets published. The discovery still has to be approved by a committee composed of members of the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry (IUPAC) and the International Union of Pure and Applied Physics (IUPAP). This working group will determine whether the existing evidence is enough to justify adding the element to the table, or if more proof is required. But enough about that because a man targeted by marketing companies is making money from cold calls with his own premium-rate phone number. In November 2011, Lee Beaumont paid £10 (plus Value Added Tax) to set up his personal 0871 line - so to call him now costs 10p, from which he receives 7p. The Leeds businessman told BBC Radio 4's You and Yours programme that the premium line had so far made £300. Mr Beaumont came up with the plan when he grew sick of calls offering to help him reclaim payment protection insurance (PPI), or install solar panels. He said: "I don't use my normal Leeds number for anyone but my friends and family." Once he had set up the 0871 line, every time a bank, gas, or electricity supplier asked him for his details online, he submitted it as his contact number. He added he was "very honest" and the companies did ask why he had a premium number. He told the programme he replied: "Because I'm getting annoyed with PPI phone calls when I'm trying to watch Coronation Street so I'd rather make 10p a minute." He said almost all of the companies he dealt with were happy to use it and if they refused he asked them to email. The number of calls received by Mr Beaumont has fallen from between 20 and 30 a month to just 13 last month. Because he works from home, Mr Beaumont has been able to increase his revenue by keeping cold callers talking - asking for more details about their services. He admitted the scheme had changed his attitude, saying: "I want cold calls", and that he had moved on to encouraging companies to make contact. So apparently, first he doesn't want to be cold-called and now he does. Now this could be a good way for anyone to make money from telemarketers, but the premium number regulator Phone Pay Plus says the public should think twice before setting up their own lines. They say phone line providers must meet consumer protection standards, which include transparency, fairness, and complaint handling, which would mean clearly setting out the cost of each call to any organisation that rang. They told You and Yours: "Premium-rate numbers are not designed to be used in this way and we would strongly discourage any listeners from adopting this idea, as they will be liable under our code for any breaches and subsequent fines that result."

Eyes Gouged Out

A 6-year-old boy was recovering in hospital in China's Shanxi province today after his eyes were gouged out in an attack that has left him permanently blind, according to state media reports. Local police said a female suspect had gouged out the boy's eyes on Saturday evening, but ruled out the possibility that organ traffickers had carried out the attack. Earlier state media reports said the boy, named as Xiao Binbin from Fenxi County in Shanxi Province, was found four hours after he went missing in a drugged state and missing his eyeballs. That is not cool. Whoever did it should be lucky they didn't do it to my niece (pictured), or else I would be tracking down the bellend(s) responsible and then gouging their eyes out. But enough about that because a Muslim woman who says she was stopped at an airport without reasonable suspicion is awaiting a court ruling on whether her rights were breached. Sylvie Beghal was held at East Midlands Airport under anti-terrorism laws. Police did not suspect her of terrorism but wanted to speak to her about "possible involvement". To that end, Mrs Beghal, a French National living in the UK, was stopped by UK Border Agency staff in January 2011 after arriving on a flight from Paris. She was then questioned by police using powers conferred by Schedule 7 of the Terrorism Act 2000, but refused to answer some questions until her lawyer arrived. People held under Schedule 7 "must give the examining officer any information in his [or her] possession which the officer requests", and Mrs Beghal was charged with failing to comply. She pleaded guilty at Leicester Magistrates' Court and was given a 12-month conditional discharge. But she later took the case to the High Court on the grounds that stopping and questioning people without reasonable suspicion breached the European Convention. The Crown Prosecution Service disputed Mrs Beghal's claim and argued her rights had not been breached. That is bollocks. They only targeted Beghal because she was Muslim. Not all Muslims are terrorists, and not all terrorists are Muslim. It has been almost twelve years since 9/11, so they should've ended the witch-hunt long ago.

WEEKLY GROSS-OUT: Chelsea

A match of few chances saw those bellends depart Old Trafford with a creditable point this morning, as both sides continue their unbeaten starts to the 2013-14 league season. It was an absorbing rather than exciting game, and the point will probably please Jose Mourinho more than his counterpart David Moyes, who was taking charge of his first home game as Man United manager, and over the 90 minutes it was the Reds that created more goalscoring opportunities, though it should be said that Petr Cech, in chalking up his 200th Chelsea clean sheet, did not have to work particularly hard. While no goals were scored, two Chelsea players (Kevin de Bruyne and Fernando Torres) receive yellow cards.

Miley shows her poker face

Lady Gaga has taken the MTV Video Music Awards stage covered in fake blood; wearing a dress made of meat; and as her male alter-ego, Jo Calderone. But at the 2013 MTV VMAs, Miley Cyrus stole Gaga's outrageous performance crown. While Gaga came equipped with multiple costume- and wig-changes on her side, Cyrus took over the stage with gigantic dancing bears, and more twerking than viewers at home probably knew what to do with. The 20-year-old pop star stepped out onto the stage a ball of energy, wearing a fuzzy gray leotard, as her hit single, "We Can't Stop," played. An animated and uninhibited performer, Cyrus' dance moves were a clear departure from her "Hannah Montana" days. So what? Musicians evolve all the time. Of course she wouldn't be like Hannah Montana now. Also not like Hannah Montana is an 8-year-old boy who intentionally shot and killed his elderly caregiver last week after playing a violent video game. 87-year-old Marie Smothers was pronounced dead at the scene with a gunshot wound to the head in a mobile home park in Slaughter, Louisiana, the East Feliciana Parish Sheriff's Department said in a statement. Slaughter is about 30 km north of Baton Rouge. Authorities identified the woman as the boy's "caregiver," without stating whether she is a relative. But CNN affiliate WBRZ reported that the woman was the boy's grandmother. The boy won't face charges because under Louisiana law, a child under 10 is exempt from criminal responsibility. He is now with his parents, who I hope aren't stupid enough to let him play violent video games.

Droids gone rogue

Security threats from mobile malware are on the rise and nearly 95% of targets operate on the Android operating system, according to a new report from NQ Mobile. The mobile security firm, with headquarters in both the USA and China, estimates that nearly 33 million Android devices were targeted by malware in 2012 - a jump of more than 200% from the year prior. "Android is one of the most powerful operating systems in the world. It allows developers to develop some of the most innovative applications out there," said Omar Khan, Co-CEO of NQ Mobile. "But because it's so open it also gives the opportunity for bad actors in the system to take advantage of that openness to develop malicious applications as well." And that's why I'm glad I have an iPhone. You should dump the zero and get with the hero because Android users can also be duped through so-called "smishing" - a combination of the words SMS and phishing - where a user receives a text message asking for personal information like a credit card number, e-mail address, or social security number. And while personal information is one casualty from malware, personal harm could occur with new programs being developed. Earlier this month, a German hacker - and licensed commercial pilot - raised eyebrows with claims he developed an app that could remotely hijack an airplane using an Android phone. The simplest thing we can do? Put passwords on our phones. Security and encryption solutions are another way to do it. Also educating our consumers and our enterprise users not to connect and leave open wi-fi connections or Bluetooth connections - only connect to trusted sources. A lot of times we'll connect to anything.

The charge starts against the North at long last

Former inmates of North Korean prison camps have been testifying before UN investigators this week in Seoul. The three-person Commission of Inquiry, led by Australian judge Michael Kirby, has been hearing evidence at the start of its probe into North Korean human rights abuses. One by one, before the UN panel, North Korea's former citizens told their stories - of hunger, torture, and summary executions. Each story was recorded as evidence in the case against their former state. The three investigators from Serbia, Indonesia, and Australia are looking for evidence of crimes against humanity in a country they have not been allowed to visit. Many of those testifying before them told of years spent in political prison camps hidden from public view. North Korea denies such camps exist, but satellite photographs show vast areas of the countryside fenced into camp-like structures. The big question is: how are those bellends going to deny it now? Let's not ponder that now because Microsoft chief executive Steve Ballmer is to retire from the technology giant within the next 12 months. Shares in Microsoft, criticised for its slow response to the booming market for mobile devices, leapt 9% on the news. Mr Ballmer, who last month unveiled a restructuring to address the criticism, said in a statement: "There is never a perfect time for this type of transition, but now is the right time. "We need a CEO who will be here longer term for this new direction." The world's biggest software company has created a special committee to find a replacement. This committee includes Microsoft founder Bill Gates. And speaking of gates, most of the time, an airplane going back to the gate means mechanical failure or other issues. But when an El Al flight from Tel Aviv to New York stopped and went back to the gate, it was for a much more special reason: to make sure that an 11-year-old cancer patient could get on board the flight. Inbar Chomsky was with a group of kids attending Camp Simcha, an upstate New York summer camp for kids with serious illnesses. Inbar cheerfully boarded the plane with the rest of her group, but when a counselor went around to collect all the kids’ passports, Inbar suddenly discovered that hers had gone missing. Although crew members and passengers spent more than half an hour looking for the lost passport, when it didn’t turn up young Inbar, who was in tears, was forced to get off of the plane. However, the story wasn’t over yet. Just moments after the plane pulled away from the gate, a fellow camper discovered Inbar’s passport by chance in a backpack. Although El Al, like most other airlines, has a strict policy against returning to the gate once security has been cleared and the doors have been closed, they made a “rare” exception for the 11-year-old.

Nananananananana, nananananananana, Affleck!

Ben Affleck is set to take over from Christian Bale as Batman. The Oscar-winning director and actor will star alongside Henry Cavill in the sequel to the hit Superman flick Man of Steel, Warner Bros. announced this afternoon. 300 director Zack Snyder will helm the film, which will place Batman and Superman on the big screen together for the first time. Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, and Richard Armitage had been considered frontrunners for the Batman role. But that's not to be, because Affleck's their man now. Not a man, however, is Bradley Manning, or as he wants to be called now, Chelsea. With that proclamation, Manning immediately shifted public conversation away from the Army private's conviction on espionage charges, and resulting dishonorable discharge, to his/her gender identity. "As I transition into this next phase of my life, I want everyone to know the real me," Manning said in the statement. "I am Chelsea Manning. I am a female. Given the way that I feel, and have felt since childhood, I want to begin hormone therapy as soon as possible. I hope that you will support me in this transition." While supporters may back Manning, the Army said yesterday it won't. One Army official, who was not authorized to speak publicly about Manning's case, said the private remains a male in the eyes of the Army. Another said Manning would be treated like any other prisoner. "A lot of the inmates have issues they're dealing with," said the second official, who also was not authorized to speak publicly about Manning's case. "Even if you have gender identity disorder, you still serve your sentence." But enough about that because a 23-year-old photographer was gang-raped last night (Indian Standard Time) by five men in a deserted area of the Shakti Mills district in Mumbai, said the city's police commissioner, Satyapal Singh, adding that the victim is now in a stable condition in the city's Jaslok Hopsital. But as for the attackers, they need to be caught, and possibly hanged, before they rape again.

The secret's out after sixty years

The CIA has released documents which for the first time formally acknowledge its key role in the 1953 coup which ousted Iran's democratically elected Prime Minister, Mohammad Mossadegh. The documents were published on the independent National Security Archive on the 60th anniversary of the coup. They come from the CIA's internal history of Iran from the mid-1970s. "The military coup was carried out under CIA direction as an act of US foreign policy," says one excerpt. Now for some good news we don't have to wait 60 years for: Fletcher Building has brought forward the deadline for repairing 90,000 earthquake-damaged Canterbury properties by a year. New Zealand's largest construction firm expects to complete the repairs referred to it by the Earthquake Commission by December next year, rather than December 2015. So why the rush? Fletcher Building chief executive Mark Adamson said yesterday that the company had brought forward its deadline because of the discomfort Cantabrians were enduring in their leaky and damaged homes. The old timeline was for 80 per cent of repairs to be completed by December 2014 and the remainder in 2015. If they think they can get their butts in gear to meet the new deadline, then their claim has my support. But enough about that because a German woman who lost her arm in a shark attack has died, one week after she was bitten while snorkeling off Maui. 20-year-old Jana Lutteropp, who had been on life support, died yesterday (Hawaii Standard Time) at Maui Memorial Medical Center, hospital spokeswoman Carol Clark said. "Jana fought hard to stay alive," said a statement from her mother and sister, which was released by Clark. "However, we are sad to say that she lost her fight today." This is why sharks don't belong on our planet. They serve no real purpose, and are only here to prey on innocent humans. They are one of the very few species that actually deserve to become extinct, and hopefully before my niece (pictured) becomes their next victim.

Web set to truly become worldwide

Most of us take the Internet for granted. But think about what Internet access would mean to 5 billion people who don't currently have it. That's the idea behind a new campaign, internet.org, led by Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. "We want to make it so that anyone, anywhere - even a child growing up in rural India who never had a computer - can go to a store, get a phone, get online, and get access to all of the same things that you and I appreciate about the Internet," Zuckerberg said in an exclusive broadcast interview with CNN's "New Day" anchor Chris Cuomo. "They're going to use it to decide what kind of government they want, get access to healthcare for the first time ever, and connect with family hundreds of miles away that they haven't seen in decades." This would be a huge achievement in itself, making the World Wide Web truly a World Wide Web. More than 4.5 billion of the 7 billion people on Earth don't have Internet access, according to the World Bank. The biggest gaps are in Eritrea (just 0.8% have access), East Timor (0.9%), and Myanmar (1.1%). There are gaps even in places you wouldn't expect. Even in the United States, 19% of people don't have Internet access. That is clearly 19% too many. This blog would get tons more hits if all seven billion people on Earth were connected.

WEEKLY GROSS-OUT: Bringing back Mubarak

Longtime Egyptian leader Hosni Mubarak, who was ousted by an Arab Spring-inspired popular uprising in 2011, was acquitted yesterday (local time) of corruption charges by a Cairo court, and his lawyer told CBS News he expected him to be freed "within 48 hours." Lawyer Fareed El-Deeb confirmed that Mubarak was acquitted on the corruption charges, which stem from allegations that he and his sons embezzled funds for work on presidential palaces. That is not good for Egypt. Mubarak was put behind bars for a reason, and his acquittal comes at an already challenging time for Egypt, which is currently governed by an interim administration put in place by the nation's powerful army after a second popular uprising brought an end to the brief reign of Mubarak's democratically-elected successor, Islamist President Mohammed Morsi. But then again, Morsi wasn't necessarily the best substitute for Mubarak. Morsi, backed by the powerful Muslim Brotherhood, was elected following the Arab Spring uprising, but he quickly became unpopular by granting senior positions to fellow Islamist politicians, pushing through a constitution which enshrined elements of Islamic Sharia law in the nation's charter, and by the perceived mismanagement of Egypt's economy and institutions.

So now people want to go to Mars?

More than 100,000 people are eager to make themselves at home on another planet. They've applied for a one-way trip to Mars, hoping to be chosen to spend the rest of their lives on uncharted territory, according to an organization planning the manned missions. The Mars One project wants to colonize the red planet, beginning in 2022. There are financial and practical questions about this venture that haven't been clarified. Will there be enough money? Will people really be able to survive on Mars? But these haven't stopped some 30,000 Americans from signing up. Why should it? If they want to live on Mars, that's their problem. Earth is better because there's over seven billion people here to share the experience with, and you won't have to rebuild society anew because you're not transferring to another planet with none of the modern conveniences we take for granted here on Earth. But there are some people that need to rebuild their state of mind. For instance, some young HIV patients are giving up their medicine after being told by Pentecostal Church pastors to rely on faith in God instead. Medical staff told the BBC a minority of pastors in England were endangering young church members by putting them under pressure to stop medication. The Children's HIV Association surveyed 19 doctors and health professionals working with babies and children in England; its members had reported hearing anecdotal evidence of HIV patients deciding to stop taking their anti-retroviral drugs because their pastors had told them to do so. Among 10 doctors who said they had encountered the problem in the last five years, 29 of their patients had reported being put under pressure to stop taking medicine and at least 11 had done so. Seriously, this God person isn't doing you any favours. Nobody should be listening to pastors who don't know what they're talking about. Just stick to your medication.

It started with a win

In the teeming rain at the Liberty Stadium this morning, Swansea had threatened to make a nuisance of themselves in inclement conditions, but two quick-fire first-half goals and another two in the second half set David Moyes on his way to a first league win as Reds boss, simultaneously starting the champions’ title defence with a victory and putting Manchester United at the top of the league. Two of United's goals were by Robin van Persie, United's other two were by Danny Welbeck, and Swansea's goal was scored by Wilfried Bony. Four players received yellow cards.

Snakes in a Motel

Canadian animal welfare officers have rescued 40 distressed pythons from plastic storage bins in a motel room in Brantford, a city about 100 km southwest of Toronto. The snakes, ranging from 30cm to 137cm long, belonged to guests, a manager at the motel said. The couple, who had checked into a room for one night, were out when police seized the animals on Thursday evening (Eastern Daylight Time). Pythons are not legal for home ownership in Brantford, according to the city's animal control by-laws. So why did they even have them on their person? Were they planning on eating them? Let's not dwell on that because contrary to popular thinking, Google doesn't always get its way when it comes to all things Internet - at least, not if the latest pronouncement from the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) is any indication. ICANN, the organization in charge of a major overhaul of Internet addresses, ruled this week that it's passed a resolution prohibiting so-called dotless domain names, essentially putting the kibosh on Google's plans for a dotless "http://search" domain. Google outlined its interest in the dotless search domain in a letter it sent to the ICANN board in April. The idea behind a dotless domain is that a top-level domain name could resolve without a dot - for instance, http://music instead of http://amazon.music. Sounds handy, but dotless domain names have their disadvantages. Well before Google sent its letter to the organization, ICANN had already warned that dotless domain names could be detrimental to the Internet. A report (PDF) last year said the group's staff "recommends strongly against their use" and urged that dotless domains be "contractually prohibited where appropriate and strongly discouraged in all cases." ICANN explained that dotless domains can break applications and protocols such as SMTP. They could also create incompatibilities with intranets. Nevertheless, Google needn't give up entirely on all its plans. There's still the possibility that it may end up owning the .search generic top-level domain (gTLD), even if it's not allowed to operate it as a dotless domain. But enough about that because residents accusing the Earthquake Commission (EQC) of bullying their way out of repairs are considering a collective lawsuit to get their homes fixed. EQC now requires homeowners with wiring and other aspects not up to new codes to upgrade at their own expense, or accept a payout instead of repairs. At a public meeting in the Christchurch suburb of Burwood today, affected residents will discuss joining forces to take the commission to court. The meeting has been called by Warwick and Judith Stephens, who said EQC had refused to fix their Avondale home because of the thickness of a concrete driveway slab. They also want EQC top brass, local politicians, and interest groups to attend. The commission was "using excuses" and "grasping at straws", Warwick Stephens said. He estimated 5500 people were in a similar situation.

Flash turns to crash turns to cash

British motorists are being warned about a new insurance scam where criminals flash their lights to let other drivers out of a junction, then crash into them on purpose. Anti-fraud experts are calling it "flash-for-cash". The gangs tend to target newer and smarter vehicles and/or vulnerable road users, including older people and women with children in the car. The scam is costing insurers hundreds of millions of pounds every year. It is a new tactic for an already well-established crime, called "crash for cash", where criminals slam on the brakes for no reason so that the victim drives into the back of their car. Police investigators said the criminals will often remove the bulbs in their brake lights so other road users don't know they're stopping. However, "flash-for-cash" is more crafty, because it is harder to prove in court, often coming down to the innocent driver's word against the criminal's that they flashed their lights to let them out. So just be careful when you're in a traffic queue and someone flashes their lights at you, because you could be their next target. And once those bellends have you right where they want you, they can scam the insurance companies out of tens of thousands, starting with false personal injury claims for whiplash, sometimes including claims for people who were not even in the car. Added to that, they might charge the insurance company for loss of earnings, then they put in fake bills for vehicle storage, recovery, repairs, and replacement car hire. But enough about that because the Islamic supporters of Egypt’s ousted president who have been battling the military have turned their rage on members of the country’s Coptic Christian minority. They attacked churches, monasteries, schools, and Christian-owned shops as well as individuals. Churches across the country sustained attacks for a second straight day today, according to rights groups, state media, and Egyptian security forces. Individual Copts say they fear reprisal attacks, with one video purportedly showing supporters of ousted Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi beating a Coptic taxi driver to death in Alexandria, Egypt’s second largest city. Seriously, people. Muslims and Coptic Christians are all people and have just as much a right to be here as each other. There is no need for this nonsense. And speaking of nonsense, Ecuador has abandoned a conservation plan that would have paid the country not to drill for oil in previously untouched parts of Yasuni National Park in the Amazon rainforest. President Rafael Correa said rich nations had failed to back the initiative, leaving Ecuador with no choice but go ahead with drilling in what is one of the most biodiverse areas in the world. This is not what Julian Assange should expect from his adopted homeland. You shouldn't drill in national parks. Those areas are protected for a good reason.

Looks like eight will have to wait

Microsoft originally revealed Xbox One would launch in 21 markets in November, but the company says it's delaying the availability in some European countries. Eight countries have been hit with a delay to 2014: Belgium, Denmark, Finland, Netherlands, Norway, Russia, Sweden, and Switzerland. The Xbox One will now launch in just 13 markets in November: Australia, Austria, Brazil, Canada, France, Germany, Ireland, Italy, Mexico, Spain, United Kingdom, US, and New Zealand. Microsoft isn't detailing the exact reasons behind the delay, but the company does say there are "many factors," including localized Xbox One dash support, additional voice and languages, and partnerships for apps in each country. Customers who have pre-ordered the Xbox One in the eight delayed countries will receive a "pack-in game" when the console finally launches in 2014. "We understand this will be disappointing news for our fans in the impacted countries, and we are doing everything we can to bring Xbox One to you as soon as possible next year." I'm just grateful that New Zealand will get their turn in November instead of having to wait until next year. In other news, Edmonton police are warning cyclists to keep an eye on their wheels as bike thefts rise dramatically. It’s an expensive frustration for many cyclists in the city, like Farlee Magee, who has had five of his bikes stolen in the past four years, even though he locked them up. “I locked the front up, but the guy took a wrench and left the wheel and took the rest of the bike,” he told CBC News. “I could see him running down the street with it on his shoulder.“ The incidents have changed the way he parks his bike. “Pay for a good lock," he said. "And a cable that goes through both wheels and around something they can't lift it up over. “ In the past year alone, bike thefts have jumped 30 percent in Edmonton, according to police. So remember this: the best way to prevent thefts is invest in a high-quality lock that is difficult to get around.

Meg and Jackie hit the big three-zero

That's right, Mila Kunis (pictured) turns 30 today. But enough about that because members of Libya's minority Berber, or Amazigh, community have stormed the parliament building in Tripoli. A spokesman for the General National Congress (GNC) said that windows were smashed, furniture was destroyed, and documents belonging to deputies were stolen. There were no reports of any injuries after the incident, which happened during a break in a regular session. The Amazigh were demanding that the future constitution recognise their language, ethnicity, and culture. Though they currently make up just 5-10% of Libya's six million population, Amazigh predate the Arab settlers who brought Islam with them from the east. They suffered decades of repression and discrimination during the rule of Gaddafi, who was overthrown and killed during an uprising in 2011. So maybe it is time their voices be heard and their differences be recognised. There was nothing great about the Great Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya. There is also nothing great about the fact that 20 people were injured last Friday, with seven sent to hospital, when a promotional stunt in Seoul for LG's G2 smartphone went wrong. LG has cancelled a series of events promoting the handset as a result of the incident in Seoul on Friday. People arrived with BB guns and knives on sticks for a race to grab smartphone vouchers hanging from helium balloons. LG has taken responsibility for the situation and said it would cover related medical costs. The contest played out like this: LG released 100 helium balloons, each with a free smartphone voucher, at the so-called G in the Cloud event, which took place in an outdoor park in the South Korean capital city. The phones, which sell for 950,000 won (NZ$1060) in South Korea, would be given to people in possession of the voucher. One regional TV channel has dubbed the scrum "World War G" - a comparison to the film World War Z and a scene in said movie where zombies scramble over each other to climb over a wall. And speaking of the LG G2, it was revealed last week that they were hoping to shake up smartphone design by placing the only physical buttons of its new flagship model on the rear of the handset. The firm said the G2 addresses the problem that mobiles become harder to control the bigger they get. But cellphone's aren't the only thing getting bigger - two airlines are planning to increase in size too. They will be merging into the world's largest airline, but there's just one problem: The US Department of Justice has filed an anti-trust case to block the merger of American Airlines and US Airways. The multi-billion-dollar deal was backed by a federal judge in March and has been approved by the European Union. The complaint says customers would see a price rise as the merger would "substantially lessen competition" in the domestic market. And it would also mean one less choice for those consumers. And speaking of consumers, American consumers continued spending steadily in July, signaling shoppers are likely to remain the engine of the economy's slow but steady expansion in the months ahead. Retail sales climbed a seasonally adjusted 0.2%, the fourth consecutive month of increases, the Commerce Department said Tuesday. The previous month's gain was revised up to 0.6% from 0.4%, amid brisk demand for cars and furniture. Shoppers are "seeing the value of their homes and retirement accounts go up," said John Venhuizen, chief executive of Ace Hardware Corp., an Oak Brook, Illinois-based retailer cooperative with 4,700 stores globally. "That wealth effect is making people feel more comfortable buying higher-priced items like barbecue grills, which increased by double digits in July" from a year earlier, he said. Consumers started the year confronted by higher taxes, surging petrol prices, and the impact of federal budget cuts. However, more than halfway through 2013, they are notching the highest confidence levels in years. Economists attribute the optimism to a gradually improving jobs picture, rising home values, and the bull market in stocks. Soon, there'll be no more recession to have to contend with (let's hope).

WEEKLY GROSS-OUT: Prying bosses

Now that that's out of the way, do you know the correct term for a court ruling that forces you to hand over your Facebook pictures and bank statements to your boss? Stupid and poorly thought out. Sadly, that's what happened to an Air New Zealand flight attendant this week. Gina Kensington lost her job after the airline accused her of falsely claiming two days of sick leave in March. Ms Kensington said she needed the leave to look after her sister. She took her case to the New Zealand Employment Relations Authority, who ordered her to give Air New Zealand access to her private accounts to "test the veracity" of her explanation for taking time off. I'm sure the ERA meant well, but the case sets a worrying precedent. It's going to greatly hearten employers who want to snoop on their employees about what they're doing in their own time. And besides, the onus should be on the employer to provide evidence that the sick leave was in fact misused. There should be some very clear barriers about what employers can reasonably expect to see.

Martin is no longer the Messiah

According to AllThingsD, Apple will hold its iPhone launch on the 10th of next month. Apple watchers largely expect the company to launch a lower cost iPhone targeted at emerging markets as well as an iPhone 5S. The launch comes at an interesting time for Apple, which hasn't launched much in 2013 beyond iOS 7, which was previewed in June. Board members are reportedly pushing for more innovation. Android is on the march. Apple has had hit-or-miss quarters (keep in mind that a so-so quarter for Apple is ridiculously profitable) and everyone is waiting for iTV or some smart watch or reinvention. There are worries about Apple's iPhone screen size and iPad volume too. It's also unclear if Apple has the ecosystem stickiness outside the US and in emerging markets like China, but I'm sure the next model of iPhone will be a hit with the existing fanbase. But here's something not quite as much of a hit with the affected persons: a judge in Tennessee changed a 7-month-old boy's name to Martin from Messiah, saying the religious name was earned by one person and "that one person is Jesus Christ." The judge in eastern Tennessee said the baby was to be named Martin DeShawn McCullough, which includes both parents' last name. The boy's mother, Jaleesa Martin, of Newport, said she will appeal. She says Messiah is unique and she liked how it sounded alongside the boy's two siblings, named Micah and Mason. But unfortunately for her, Child Support Magistrate Lu Ann Ballew has ordered the name change last week. The boy's parents were in court because they could not agree on the child's last name, but when the judge heard the boy's first name, she ordered it changed, too. "It could put him at odds with a lot of people and at this point he has had no choice in what his name is," Ballew said. So just be careful about what you name your children or else a judge may well get involved.

Yahoo rebrands anew

Before we start on today's post, it is the 40th anniversary of a party that took place in the recreation room of a New York City apartment building at 1520 Sedgwick Avenue. What makes this party special is that DJ Kool Herc began rapping during an extended break, laying the foundation for hip-hop music. May the hip hop, the hippie, the hippie do the hip-hip-hop, and don't stop for another 40 years. Now that that's out of the way, Yahoo announced on Wednesday that it will unveil a new corporate logo on September 4 - the first such change since the company was founded 18 years ago. The new look will retain the current purple color scheme and its trademark exclamation point. Yodel away, Yahoo fans. "Over the past year, there's been a renewed sense of purpose and progress at Yahoo!, and we want everything we do to reflect this spirit of innovation," Chief Marketing Officer Kathy Savitt wrote in a blog post. "While the company is rapidly evolving, our logo — the essence of our brand — should too." Maybe it is time for Yahoo to get a new logo. But in the meantime, Newmarket could become the first shopping centre in New Zealand to use scenes of virtual shoppers to mask the appearance of empty shops. As one of the country's premier shopping centres, particularly for the fashion trade, annual rents for prime retail locations in Newmarket are around three times those of other suburban locations such as Albany. Rents range from $800 to $1600 per square metre, according to the 2013 Bayleys Retail Property Report. However, Newmarket has also been suffering from a significant amount of vacant space, particularly along the prime retail strip of Broadway, which has left it looking a bit like a smile with a few missing teeth. So the local business association has plans for a hi-tech cosmetic makeover. It plans to wrap the front of vacant shops with pictorial skins, which will be similar to the advertising pictures that are used to cover bus windows. The skins would be an adhesive film which could carry a variety of images.

Acid throwers still at large

The Zanzibar government has offered a reward of 10 million Tanzanian shillings (almost NZ$7700) for information leading to the capture of attackers who threw acid at two British women. Kirstie Trup and Katie Gee, both 18 and from London, had acid thrown on their faces, chests, and hands. The island's Police Commissioner Musa Ali Musa told the BBC that there was "no prime suspect" for the attack. He said that a lot of people had been questioned and information gathered. However, no-one has been arrested or charged, and investigations are continuing. While we don't know who did such a thing to Trup and Gee, a moderate Muslim cleric who was himself the victim of an acid attack on Zanzibar last year says he believes that hardline secessionist group Uamsho were behind the attack. But whoever did it, it was not a civilised act. It was very cruel to throw acid on these innocent young girls, and whoever did it should themselves have acid chucked at their face. In other news, Stephen Fry has urged David Cameron to support moves to strip Russia of the 2014 Winter Olympics because of its new anti-gay laws.

Ten years of the Bay

Tomorrow (Central European Summer Time), fans of The Pirate Bay file-sharing site are set to celebrate its 10th anniversary at a party in Stockholm sponsored by an energy drinks maker. The event - and the service's very survival - is an irritant to rights holders who have used the courts in the UK, Ireland, Malaysia, and elsewhere to make internet service providers (ISPs) block access to TPB's domain. They want to make it as hard as possible for the public to find lists of torrents - pointers that tell a program where to locate fragments of a file on others' computers that can be downloaded and combined to form a whole. Earlier this week the UK's Industry Trust for Intellectual Property Awareness warned such pirate websites provided a gateway for children to access adult-rated material. While that may be one of the downsides, the upside of having sites like The Pirate Bay is that you can get something for nothing. But enough about that because baseball's highest paid star, Alex Rodriguez, has said he is fighting for his life as he and 12 other players are suspended in a doping scandal. Major League Baseball banned the New York Yankees slugger for 211 games until the end of the 2014 season. The 38-year-old is one of a few players who have been linked to a closed Florida clinic which allegedly supplied banned performing-enhancing drugs. Rodriguez, who is popularly known as A-Rod, said he would appeal the penalty. He can continue playing while his challenge is being heard.

Williams to say "na-nu na-nu" once more to the small screen

Most, if not all, super heroes wear cloaks and masks to hide their identity. But how about a burqa? A new cartoon series in Pakistan is turning stereotypes on their head. It's centered around a woman who doesn't wear a burqa in the daytime but puts one on to transform into the "Burka Avenger" - and what's more, she's fighting for female education. The cartoon is already the talk of the country and it hasn't even launched yet. But enough about that because Robin Williams (pictured as Mork from Ork) will soon be starring in his first regular television series role since Mork & Mindy, which ran from 1978 to 1982. Set in Chicago, the new series, which will be called The Crazy Ones, follows the lives of the people who work for the Roberts & Roberts advertising agency, headed by Simon Roberts (played by Williams), a successful yet unpredictable genius, and his daughter Sydney Roberts (played by Sarah Michelle Gellar), who is more reasonable and determined to make a name for herself. Despite being polar opposites, the twosome have managed to use unusual ways to win or keep clients, even if the people who they work with think they're crazy to pull it off, especially if it's from their boss, Simon. I just hope they don't retool it every season only for it to continue to slide in the ratings.

Willis is expended in favour of Ford

Actor Harrison Ford has joined the cast of the third film in the Expendables action franchise, filling a gap vacated by the departing Bruce Willis. That could prove to be just what the franchise needs, but we have something more serious to discuss. Eastern Afghanistan and neighbouring Pakistan were recently hit by torrential rain, causing floods which have killed at least 160 people. The floods have caused extensive damage to property in both countries. The Pakistani army was called in to help the clean-up in Karachi, where local media reports say sewage and rainwater have blocked some of the main roads. The fatalities in the city have been mostly due to electrocution or collapsing roofs and walls. The floods are also reported to have left many areas of the city without power. The floodwaters may be receding in Karachi, but this is a symptom of climate change. The region as a whole has suffered devastating floods during the monsoon period for the past three years, and no, the Mayans are not responsible for this. Neither is PSY. It's anyone and everyone who thought it would be a good idea to burn rubbish or get that sports car that only gets a few miles to the gallon or some other moronic act that contributed to the hole in our ozone layer that currently rages over Antarctica. Is this (picture 1) the world you want my niece (picture 2), who turned six months old today, to inherit?

WEEKLY GROSS-OUT: Shark Week

Shark Week, first broadcast on July 17, 1987, is a week-long series of feature television programs on the Discovery Channel which are dedicated to sharks. Held annually, normally in July or August, Shark Week was originally developed to raise awareness and respect for sharks. That is just not on. Sharks should not be revered. They are cold-blooded, merciless killers who prey on innocent humans who just want to swim in the ocean and explore the ecosystems that lie within. The reason sharks are called sharks in the first place is because the original sense of the word was that of "predator, one who preys on others" from the German Schorck, a variant of Schurke "villain, scoundrel" (cf. card shark, loan shark, etc.), which was later applied to the fish due to its predatory behaviour. We can stop this now by grabbing a harpoon and wiping out every trace of those beasts. There is money to be made from selling their meat, bones, and skins on the market. Before you start speaking out in favour of sharks, look at the picture below and ask yourself this: should the first sentence really apply to the human?

From spin doctor to Doctor Who

Actor Peter Capaldi has been announced as the new star of BBC sci-fi series Doctor Who. The 55-year-old Glasgow-born star will be the 12th actor to play the Doctor, replacing outgoing lead Matt Smith. Capaldi - who had been on Doctor Who before, as Roman merchant Caecilius in 2008 adventure The Fires of Pompeii - is best known for his role as foul-mouthed spin-doctor Malcolm Tucker in the BBC series The Thick of It. But here's something else to be in the thick of right now: the world's first lab-grown burger is to be unveiled and eaten at a news conference in London today (British Summer Time). Scientists took cells from a cow and, at an institute in the Netherlands, turned them into strips of muscle which they combined to make a patty. Researchers say the technology could be a sustainable way of meeting what they say is a growing demand for meat. Critics say that eating less meat would be an easier way to tackle predicted food shortages. But either way, the progress of science will become a reality, especially considering an independent study which found that lab grown beef uses 45% less energy than the average global representative figure for farming cattle. It also produces 96% fewer greenhouse gas emissions and requires 99% less land. But they'd better get the look and taste right before they start rolling it out to the public because if it doesn't look and taste like normal meat, it's not going to be a viable replacement. I just hope Capaldi, on the other hand, can be a viable replacement for Smith.

We don't need no water, let the mother Russia burn

US rock group Bloodhound Gang has been banned from a Russian music festival after a band member stuffed the Russian flag into his underpants on stage. Culture Minister Vladimir Medinsky described the band as "idiots" and said they were "packing their suitcases". Bass player Jared Hasselhoff (not related to Knight Rider and Baywatch star David Hasselhoff) was seen in a video pushing the flag into the front of his pants and pulling it out of the back. Hasselhoff later apologised for the stunt, but he shouldn't have because Russia isn't really the best place to be right now. The only thing they've done right in recent times is give Edward Snowden asylum. But there's also the issue of Russia's worsening human rights record under Putin. For example, a law against "homosexual propaganda" (which prohibits such symbols as the rainbow flag as well as published works containing homosexual content) was recently passed. Therefore, I think Hasselhoff had just cause to stuff the Russian flag down his underpants.

Avatar gets a fourth film

In 2010, James Cameron said that there would be two sequels to Avatar that would feature "self-contained stories that also fulfil a greater story arc". But Fox Studios have announced there will now be three sequels to Avatar, after director James Cameron found that two "would not be enough". "In writing the new films, I've come to realize that Avatar's world, story, and characters have become even richer than I anticipated," Cameron said in a statement. "It became apparent that two films would not be enough to capture everything I wanted to put on screen." The three sequels will be filmed simultaneously beginning next year, and will be released respectively in December of 2016, 2017, and 2018 respectively. I'm predicting a huge turnout for the sequels because the original film, released in December 2009, is the highest grossing movie of all time, and the previous holder was Titanic, another James Cameron film.

Snowden finally able to leave the airport

The US has labelled Russia's decision to grant asylum to fugitive intelligence leaker Edward Snowden as "extremely disappointing". The White House is reconsidering a meeting scheduled for next month between President Barack Obama and Russian counterpart Vladimir Putin. The US wants Snowden extradited and tried for leaking secrets. But Snowden, who left a Moscow airport transit zone for the first time since June, thanked Russia for its action. Sadly, not everyone agrees that Russia's decision was the best. White House spokesman Jay Carney said: "We're extremely disappointed that the Russian government would take this step despite our very clear and lawful requests in public and in private to have Mr Snowden expelled to the United States to face the charges against him. We're evaluating the utility of a summit in light of this and other issues." Democrat Senator Chuck Schumer, an ally of Mr Obama, said Russia's decision was a "stab in the back" and urged the president to recommend relocating the upcoming G20 summit away from Russia. And former Republican presidential candidate John McCain said there should be "serious repercussions". But this isn't one of the repercussions McCain is talking about: Australia has unveiled a levy on some bank deposits to raise money towards a fund aimed at safeguarding against a banking collapse. Deposits up to A$250,000 will have to pay a levy of 0.05% from January 2016. It will be imposed on banks and not account holders, but banks have warned that costs may be passed on to customers. The move comes as the government warned of slower economic growth and a much bigger budget deficit than it had previously forecast.

Oppa Drunken Style!

Behind the beaming smile, the funky shades, and the crazy dance is a man who has a drink problem. And Gangnam Style star Psy appears to have one heck of a drink problem. In a revealing interview with The Sunday Times in the UK, the Korean superstar says his life has been a toxic mess of drink, drugs, and abuse. Describing soju (Korean whisky) as his best friend and vice mate, Psy opens up about his drinking habits: "If I'm happy, I'm drinking. If I'm sad, I'm drinking. If it's raining, I'm drinking. If it's sunny, I'm drinking. If it's hot, I'm drinking. if it's cold, I'm drinking." Basically, the only time he's isn't knocking back the booze is when he's hungover. It's nice to know that the man behind the horse dance likes his drink, but he should learn to ease up. Maybe this clip will help him. Speaking of help, one thing that may help iPhone users in the next update is a fingerprint scanner which could be the key ingredient in Apple's upcoming iPhone, potentially providing a major security enhancement. A string of code from a developer release of Apple's upcoming mobile operating system iOS7 hints at "a fingerprint that changes colour during the setup process." When iOS7 beta 4 was released this week, software developer Hamza Sood discovered a folder within the software called "BiometricKitUI". This is likely to be the user interface for a fingerprint scanner set to launch with Apple's next-generation smartphone, which is widely expected to be released in September as the iPhone 5S. In other iOS 7 news, the upcoming system will fix a security flaw that allows hackers to engage in spying and cyber crimes when the victim connects the device to a fake charging station. For now, however, Apple's devices are vulnerable to attacks until the company releases the update, which is slated for next month. Three computer scientists, who alerted Apple to the problem earlier this year, demonstrated the security vulnerability at the Black Hat hacking convention in Vegas yesterday where some 7,000 security professionals are learning about the latest threats posed by computer hacking.