WEEKLY GROSS-OUT: Team relocations

It sucks when your favourite local sports team has to move. Because of such a move in 1994, Los Angeles lost both of its NFL teams - the Raiders to Oakland and the Rams to St Louis. And another one in 2003 meant that Seattle lost its NBA team - the SuperSonics - to Oklahoma City (but they have a New Zealander on their roster, so they got that going for them which is nice). But the one remaining Southern California-based NFL team - the San Diego Chargers - could be moving to LA to fill in the gap which has lasted for 21 seasons, and it would hurt San Diego really bad because no bigger city in America has suffered a sadder sports history. This is a fact - of the nine most populous cities in the U.S, only San Diego has never has won a championship in the NFL, NBA, NHL, or Major League Baseball. Four different San Diego teams have tried. But only two are left - MLB's Padres and the NFL's Chargers. The latter are considering a move to Los Angeles County as soon as next year, adding more misfortune to the sunny city's long list of lost seasons, lost teams, and lost players. After so much sorrow, the larger question is why. Why would teams leave that paradise? And why can't they get the job done there in the end? Consider the cosmic cruelty involved with its poor past:

• No other city has seen two different NBA teams permanently ditch town for greener pastures. The Rockets left San Diego for Houston in 1971, and the Clippers left for LA in 1984.
• Only one of the city's major-college teams has ever won a national title: the San Diego State men's volleyball team in 1973. But the university eliminated the program in a cost-cutting move in 2000.
• Several Hall of Fame-caliber stars have suited up for San Diego pro teams, including quarterback Drew Brees, baseball manager Bruce Bochy, basketball center Bill Walton, and outfielder Dave Winfield. But each of those four endured more losses than wins during their time in San Diego. After moving to other teams, they also each won at least one Super Bowl, World Series, or NBA Finals. In Bochy's case, he's won three world championships in the past five seasons with the San Francisco Giants, all while still owning a home in San Diego County.
• In 1984, a local high school graduate at least made the city proud when he was named MVP of the World Series. But that player was Alan Trammell, a shortstop who was playing for the Detroit Tigers — against his hometown Padres. Trammell and the Tigers crushed the Padres in the latter's first World Series appearance, winning in five games.

So what's the deal there? Just don't call it a curse. It's more like a tradeoff. In exchange for being able to live and work in a warm and sunny coastal climate, San Diego residents are burdened with distractions that tend to prevent productivity. The beach, the mountains, and the desert can all be visited on the same 20-degree (Celsius, 68 Fahrenheit) afternoon in San Diego County. And there's also its close proximity to Mexico, where soccer is more popular. But there should be some big-league presence in San Diego, and if LA needs an NFL team, then maybe it is time for another expansion - maybe put a fifth team in each of the eight divisions and extend the regular season to 18 games (two games against each of the four other teams in its division, one game against each of the five teams in a division in its conference, and one game against each of the five teams in a division in the other conference).