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28 November 2011

WEEKLY GROSS-OUT: Eric Clapton

This morning, I saw The Whistleblower. And before the previews, I heard “Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton. Eric Clapton is one of the worst musicians of all time, and that particular song is so boring that it (maybe also coupled with some Justin Bieber or Billy Ray) would make a good substitute for Koran-burning or waterboarding at Guantanamo.

On an unrelated point, a couple of fight scenes about an hour into the movie could’ve been awesomed up a bit. If I was directing, one of the scenes would involve the victim performing a rather aggro rendition of the haka directed towards the attackers. And maybe if I was directing The King’s Speech, there would be some more comedic moments in it; a scene where somebody pulls out a chair for another character would, for example, involve the chair being pulled out from right under her just as she is about to sit down. Or maybe if I was directing The Help, I would’ve removed both instances of the N word from the script – for instance, instead of a white bus driver in one scene saying “some n***** got shot”, he would say “somebody got shot”. In fact, almost any movie could be made better with me as director.

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