We'll never be royals (royals)

But two teenage girls from New Zealand have become the next best thing (and NOT in terms of their developing bosoms): singer-songwriter Lorde (real name Ella Maria Lani Yelich-O'Connor) and Korean-born professional golf player Lydia Ko are being hailed as two of the most influential teenagers in the world by Time magazine. But that is where the good news for tonight stops because Bangladeshi police fired water cannon and rubber bullets to break up a protest by garment workers demanding a higher minimum wage, forcing the closure of more than 100 factories. The country's official wage board proposed a 77% rise in the minimum wage for garment workers last week. Factory owners said they could not afford the proposed increase, and that's because they're wasting company profits on their greedy jet-setting lifestyles. Maybe if they stopped trying to give themselves gout with their daily dinners of lobster and filet mignon with a side of caviar and the most expensive champagne known to man and started paying the workers more, this wouldn't be happening.