ONE-LINE CHALLENGE: Here's a challenge for you

Google the phrase "year of the dragon speedway bug".

Nintendo about to get into the theme park game

Sure, Disney have done a great job of turning their beloved and iconic movies and characters into tangible and equally magical theme parks, but there could be some new kids just around the corner. According to industry rumors, Universal and Nintendo are teaming up to deliver a theme park based on the properties owned by the Japanese gaming giant. We already know Nintendo has been working with Universal to revamp their current parks, but they will not stop there. According to ThisIsInfamous.com, Universal hope to split Nintendo's various major franchises into separate areas, as well as develop rides based on their games and characters in a third park. As you can probably imagine, a Mario Kart ride is apparently in the cards, as are zones based on Pokémon and The Legend of Zelda. Furthermore, there are also suggestions Universal are developing a literal World of Warcraft. This seems at least partly legitimate, as the studio is currently developing the upcoming movie adaptation. Personally, I can see this as an addition to their previous parks, as opposed to an area in a Nintendo park. The sources of the rumors claim the Universal development is mostly in response to Disney making their own improvements to their Disney World Theme Park. Currently, no one is entirely sure what these improvements will involve, but we're likely to find out at the upcoming D23 expo. These mysterious sources also claim Universal hopefully plan to open their video game inspired park sometime in 2021. But seriously, if any video game character is deserving of a theme park, it's Spyro. The original trilogy was just the best.

Windows - the way it was meant to be

Not really because that would mean Windows would be dead. But it ain't because Windows 10 is here and for the first time in a while, there's actual excitement about Microsoft's operating system upgrade. There's a sharper new browser that puts Internet Explorer to shame, Cortana integration, and an emphasis on a more productive experience in Windows. Windows 10 is so radically different that Microsoft even skipped over naming it Windows 9. Users who haven't already reserved a free upgrade in the Get Windows 10 app can still do so. Microsoft has the ambitious goal of rolling out the software to one billion users over the next few years. I wish them luck with that because Mac OS is the box they will eventually be burying it in.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Losing another Brown

Bobbi Kristina Brown, the only child of late singer Whitney Houston, has died at the age of 22, some six months after suffering irreversible brain damage in an incident at her suburban Atlanta home, her family said in a statement. Brown, whose father is R&B singer Bobby Brown, was found face down and unresponsive in a bathtub in her home by her partner and a friend on January 31. She was moved by her family to hospice care on June 24. She will be missed.

Deflategate II - not their future

NFL officials will be keeping closer tabs on football inflation this season, according to multiple media reports. Pregame pressure readings will now be documented and there will be random halftime and postgame rechecks, as reported by Fox Sports and other outlets. The new procedures also state that footballs remain under the watch of NFL officials, who will inspect each one and deliver them to the "kicking ball coordinator," who will take chain of custody of all footballs until 10 minutes before kickoff. Footballs will continue to be required to have at least 12.5 pounds per square inch of air and no more than 13.5 psi. If a ball falls outside of those numbers and the air pressure must be adjusted, it will be adjusted to 13 psi. According to the reports, which cite NFL officiating sources, the new procedures come in the wake of accusations of ball tampering by the New England Patriots in last season's AFC Championship Game. And now that they've taken care of the deflated pigskins, they can now look at changing the name of the Redskins, maybe to something like the DC Red Hawks.

Key and Peele are so over

The Comedy Central show Key & Peele, an absurdist sketch comedy that has become known for recurring skits like one in which an “anger translator” expresses emotions on President Obama’s behalf, will end after its current season. Speaking to the online entertainment journal TheWrap, one of the show’s stars, Keegan-Michael Key, said that it was time for him and his co-star, Jordan Peele, “to explore other things, together and apart.” Key & Peele premiered on the network in 2012 and won a Peabody Award in 2013 for its “inspired satirical riffs on our racially divided and racially conjoined culture.” The show, currently in its fifth season, received seven Emmy nominations this year, including a nod for Outstanding Variety Sketch Series. Both comedians are biracial and much of their comedy is given to exploring, mocking, and confounding racial stereotypes. In accepting the show’s Peabody Award, Mr. Key expressly thanked the network for allowing Key & Peele to tell a diverse set of stories. “We’d like to thank Comedy Central for giving us the opportunity to show the African-American experience as not a monolith, because it’s not,” he said. “It’s so many different stories and the danger of the world sometimes is trying to assign a single story to an entire group of people.” Mr. Key and Mr. Peele met as improv comedians in Chicago and performed together for five seasons on the Fox show “Mad TV.” Aside from starring on Key & Peele, both were executive producers and lead writers. Mr. Key told TheWrap that they plan to continue collaborating. “We might make a movie and then do our own thing for three years and then come back and do another movie,” he said. “There’s lots of stuff we have cooking up.” That's cool. Inside Amy Schumer is a much better show any day, and not because she's white - it's because she's actually funny.

Hulk made a hulkish mistake

Hulk Hogan's WWE contract has been terminated following allegations made by RadarOnline.com and National Enquirer magazine that he made racist comments on an unauthorised sex tape in 2012. World Wrestling Entertainment announced yesterday that they were releasing the Hall of Fame Superstar as reports broke on RadarOnline.com and via National Enquirer that Hogan had allegedly used the 'N-word' while complaining to ex-lover Heather Clem - the former wife of his friend Bubba 'The Love Sponge' Clem - about his daughter Brooke Hogan's apparent taste in men on an unauthorised sex tape recorded in 2012. The tape is the subject of an upcoming court case between the grappling icon and Gawker.com. A statement released by the company - who rehired the multi-time world champion in 2014 - read: "WWE terminated its contract with Terry Bollea (aka Hulk Hogan). WWE is committed to embracing and celebrating individuals from all backgrounds as demonstrated by the diversity of our employees, performers, and fans worldwide." It serves him right. If my niece or nephew started dating someone of a different ethnic background, I wouldn't complain about it, and I most certainly wouldn't be using the applicable racial slurs about them.

THE FILM BEAT: Ant-Man

Great use of 3D. Great storyline. Great powers on the part of the titular superhero. The only thing that could be greater is if the Justice League and the Avengers were in a movie together, because seriously, when do you get to see DC and Marvel characters together?

La guerre de tabac starts to smoke

And speaking of smoking, the mask is being applied to speed cameras throughout France. And no, I do NOT mean Jim Carrey. I mean this: France's tobacconists are protesting plans to force cigarette companies to use plain, unbranded packaging, by disabling traffic speed cameras. The radar 'hooding' - by covering them with bin liners - is symbolic: a 'cover up' that deprives the government of money in the same way that the anti-smoking legislation will reduce tobacco sales, and tax revenue, the protesters say. The first hooding took place over a month ago, and, by this week, speed trap cameras in as many as 20 of 97 districts had been affected, according to the group representing France's tabac bars, the Buralistes Confederation. Many of the tabac outlets, with their distinctive red cigar-shaped signs, are also bars and cafes. Some sell stamps and newspapers too, but they point out that a key function on their monopoly on tobacco sales is collecting tobacco tax: €14 billion for the French Treasury every year, according to the confederation. No responsible treasury should need to line their pockets with funds obtained from the sale of such an evil poison. Those things are called cancer sticks for a reason.

Je suis Richards

A New Zealander who topped the French Scrabble world without actually being able to speak the language got a standing ovation after his win - but needed a translator to thank the audience. Nigel Richards, originally from Christchurch but now living in Malaysia, defeated a rival from French-speaking Gabon at the final in Louvain, Belgium, on Monday. He took out his competition, Schelick Ilagou Rekawe, winning two of three matches: 370-427, 484-376, 565-434. Scrabble blogger Dzibz said on an online post, that Mr Richards may have even won his first game, if only time had not gone against him and run out. The New Zealander received a standing ovation after his win - but needed a translator to thank his audience. He is said to be participating in more Scrabble competitions this week. On Wednesday he is to play a version of the game called Duplicate, where all players start with the same letters and play against a computer - eliminating any chance of luck. His newly-acquired French fans will be watching to see just how he can surprise them next. Dzibz says while Mr Richards was an outsider to the French scrabble world he didn't believe the Kiwi was done. I don't either.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Keeping this gem from us

And by gem, I don't mean the ones you get for breaking all the boxes in a level. Animation believed to be from a Crash Bandicoot cartoon series that never aired is in fact a cutscene proposed for the original game and likewise left on the cutting room floor, according to this video uploaded Friday by the game's producer:

"This video is test animation that was done for Crash Bandicoot," said David Siller. "Produced by Universal Animation early in the development of the game. It was based on ideas for where we were going with this IP at that time. It was probably too ambitious in nature and was also trying to be humorous," adding "it was never used or even embedded in the game as a hidden 'easter egg' treat. There are many close to the development of the original game that do not even know that this material even existed." Crash Bandicoot, which launched in 1996, was a production of Universal Interactive Studios, which brought on Naughty Dog to handle development. Siller said later in comments that the plan was for the animated scenes to be source material for a full animated series, provided the game was successful and well received. Then Sony got involved and licensed the game, and didn't want the animated scenes because "they were heavily pushing the 3D agenda" at the time. I think Crash should have his own animated series. Better yet, Spyro should get his own series.

Their Royal Heilnesses?

Buckingham Palace scolded Rupert Murdoch's top-selling Sun tabloid on Saturday for publishing a previously unknown film from 1933 that appears to show Britain's Queen Elizabeth performing a Nazi salute as a young girl. The black-and-white film from the year Adolf Hitler came to power purports to show future British king Edward VIII instructing his nieces, the current monarch Elizabeth, aged about six or seven at the time, and her three-year-old sister, Princess Margaret, how to perform the Nazi salute. Dancing and smiling with little apparent understanding of the salute's significance as a sign of obedience to Hitler, the two young girls are encouraged by Edward to briefly perform the raised right-arm gesture in the grounds of Balmoral Castle in Scotland. The Sun published the story and the 17-second film on its website under the headline “Their Royal Heilnesses". Edward also raises his arm, as does his sister-in-law, the Queen Mother. That's nothing compared to what the Queen and her sister got up to on VE Day. She did a good job keeping that night a secret for 70 years. I wonder what other hidden treasures exist from her younger days.

Guess who's back, back again? Blue Bell's back, tell a friend!

For more than a century, Blue Bell ice cream has played off its roots as a favorite Southern treat from tiny Brenham, Texas, to quietly become one of America’s biggest brands — the third-largest ice cream maker last year. Last year, it sold 6.4 percent of America’s ice cream. Now, it accounts for none. The company hasn’t sold a scoop since April, when it halted production after Listeria-tainted ice cream sickened people in four states. But months after the outbreak put the company in dire straits, it may have been tossed a lifeline by one of Texas’ most prominent businessmen. Earlier this week, the company announced a “significant investment” from billionaire Sid Bass, and the company says it may soon be able to start making test batches of ice cream again. But the only comeback I'm interested in is if Louis van Gaal can start bringing in some silverware. If Manchester United can win the Premiership, the FA Cup, the League Cup, and the Champions League next season, then LVG would prove to be a major asset to the team.

The W-Fi extender to end all Wi-Fi extenders

Rhino Security founder Benjamin Caudill has created a tool to help privacy pundits (and criminals) connect to wireless networks from a distance of four kilometres, in a bid to foil eavesdropping authorities. The Proxyham Raspberry Pi hardware box is a complement to toolkits such as Tor that mask the source of web traffic. Prolific security prober Caudill told Motherboard the device would be placed at the Wi-Fi source to beam a signal at 900MHz to distant users. "We consider this the last or worst case scenario, the absolute fallback plan if everything else fails," Caudill says. "You can have it all the way across town, and worst case scenario the police go barge into the library across town." Caudill will sell the box at cost for about US$200. Users who wish to build their own will be able to check out the hardware schematics and open source software when it is detailed at Defcon in August. The device is about the size of a large router and sports three antennas. Caudill will work to alter the physical profile of the box cramming it into the form of a book such that it allows libraries to be turned into persistent hotspots. The box will also be upgraded with self-destruction features, capturing the surrounding audio during the unit's final moments to help the user identify their pursuers. It will come as no surprise that people on the sides of both good and evil would appreciate having such a tool available, including but not limited to the likes of privacy advocates, political dissidents, and would-be online drug lords. Having any good enough Wi-Fi extender, though, is better than nothing when you just want to use your home network on the go.

WHO DID IT BETTER: The embedded SIM

Apple and Samsung are reportedly in talks to collaborate on a shared format for hardware to replace SIM cards - hardware which would be embedded in the device and thus would not be swappable between devices. This is according to the Financial Times, which claims the two tech giants are seeking a standard that would see the SIM card embedded in devices and reconfigured on the fly. The talks are also reported to involve a number of major phone carriers from around the world. Vodafone, AT&T, Orange, and Deutsche Telekom were listed as some of those involved. Apple have, in fact, already gone on the record as looking for a way to cut the removable SIM out of its products. Last year, Apple equipped its iPad Air and iPad Mini models with a soft SIM card that was able to switch between carriers. A standard for embedded SIMS would have some benefits for all parties involved, but this new development will have one drawback: you can't put the same number in another device or change the number - or at least not by swapping the SIMs. But if the embedded SIM does become a thing, the question will be one of whether it was Apple or Samsung who did it better. So who do you think will do it better?

New flag in town

Let's face it - New Zealand has had the same flag since 1902, and some of us think it's time to ditch it. First off, there is a huge eyesore in the top left called a Union Jack. Not only can the Union Jack be confused with a Confederate flag, it's Britain's flag and should not be foisted onto those of other sovereign nations. Second, it's too similar to some other countries' flags, including but not limited to Australia. But there is talk of changing it, and even I'm throwing my hat into the ring. Here's my design:

Either love the scumbags or leave the Emirates

They could have just washed her mouth out with soap, but instead Abu Dhabi officials threw Austrailian Jodi Magi in jail for posting a picture of a parked car online, Australia's ABC News reports. It started in February when Magi, annoyed at a driver who took up two handicap-parking spaces in her apartment's lot, posted a photo of the car on Facebook. The 39-year-old didn't include any identifying elements in the photo, but the next thing she knew, a complaint was filed and she was in an Abu Dhabi courtroom, where she was found guilty under a UAE cybercrime law of "writing bad words on social media about a person," hit with a $2,700 fine, and told she'd be deported from Abu Dhabi, where she's lived since 2012. Asked by the ABC what she had done, she replied, "I have zero idea. I used the Internet." She adds she was forced to sign documents written in Arabic, with no translation provided. I think the problem here is the inconsiderate scumbag who parked on two handicap spaces. They shouldn't have even been parking on one of those spaces unless they had a permit.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Photographers who muck about

Prince Philip, the 94-year-old husband of Britain's Queen Elizabeth well-known for occasional verbal gaffes, has been caught on camera swearing at a photographer. At an event to mark the 75th anniversary of the Battle of Britain between the RAF and the Luftwaffe in 1940, TV footage showed an exasperated Philip appearing to lose his temper during a photocall. More specifically, he was quoted as saying "Just take the f****** picture". Maybe we would be better off if the photographer would just take the f****** picture.

Just installed the iOS 9 beta

And so far, it's not that different except for the new font and the small letters on the keyboard.

Guess who's back, back again? Stability's back, tell a friend!

That's right, guys - the most stable iOS yet is available in beta form. Just to be clear, iOS 9 beta is now available to the public for the first time ever and users can download it on their iPhones and iPad. Users can sign for the iOS 9 (and OS X El Capitan) public beta access here. Apple warns you that this a beta version of the OS, which means it is still full of bugs and errors and that ideally you should not install this on your primary iOS device, but rather an older device if you have one. So what’s new in iOS 9? Well in terms of design it looks pretty similar to iOS 8, other than the big font change. As The Verge notes, iOS 9 ditches Helevtica Neue for San Francisco font by Apple. Additionally 9to5Mac reports that the iOS 9 beta 3 which was released to developers has a separate album for Selfies and that Siri does not make the usual ‘Ding’ sound when activated. But seriously, this is a beta so proceed with caution.

How much Moore can his Law take?

Not too much because IBM are loading 20 billion transistors on a chip only 7 nm thick. Sounds too good to be true, but it ain't.

THE BIG REVIEW: Microsoft Office 2016 for Mac

This is the last of four candidates to replace the Bad Idea of the Week later this year. In this feature, I will post a review of anything in particular. This month, the Big Review will be the newly-released Microsoft Office 2016 for Mac. More once I've actually tried it out.

Whoa, hold on - is that car seat in the front seat?

Yes. Yes, it is. You heard right - car maker Volvo is turning heads and creating buzz online with its new concept for child-safety seats in an unexpected area of the vehicle — right next to Mom or Dad. The company said the new approach could make it easier for parents to get their kids in and out of the car and keep an eye on baby as they drive. "Volvo Cars has completely re-imagined how children could travel safely in cars of the future," the company said on its YouTube channel. "Shown in the XC90 Excellence, this concept is innovatively designed to make it easier to get the child in and out of the seat without compromising comfort. It also provides a safe rear-facing seating position that brings parent and child closer together, and includes smart storage for vital child accessories." The new concept involves removing the front passenger seat and replacing it with a raised platform outfitted with child-safety seat that can swivel and then lock in place in a rear-facing position. When the infant or toddler is buckled in, he or she can choose to babble at the driver or at passengers in the backseat. But is it safe? In the United States, young children are required to sit in the backseat for safety reasons, and depending on state, parents are urged to keep them back there until age 12. For its part, though, Volvo said of its new child-safety seat that "from a safety perspective there is no difference between the rear seat or front seat, given that the airbag is disconnected." Here's how I see it: I don't have kids, so I won't be needing this for the foreseeable future. My sister might want one, so they can have one parent sitting in the back beside Hazel (my 29-month-old niece) and also being able to keep an eye on Oscar (my 8½-month-old nephew), who will be riding shotgun in the included seat.

Subway dumps Jared

Investigators raided the Indiana home of longtime Subway pitchman Jared Fogle yesterday, seizing electronics in a search that the sandwich chain says might be linked to the earlier arrest of someone who once worked for him. Agents took computers from Fogle's home in Zionsville, just north of Indianapolis, after arriving at about 6am local time, Fogle attorney Ron Elberger said, without disclosing what they were looking for. Elberger said Fogle, the man who soared to fame 15 years ago after saying he shed more than 200 pounds in part through a Subway diet, has not been arrested or charged with any crime. The raid comes more than two months after Russell Taylor, former executive director of the Jared Foundation (Fogle's organization that aspires to combat childhood obesity), was arrested in Indianapolis on federal child pornography charges. Authorities haven't said anything linking the search at Fogle's home to that case or any other investigation. Fogle became the Subway restaurant chain’s pitchman after shedding 245 pounds more than 15 years ago, in part by regularly eating Subway sandwiches. Subway began featuring Fogle in commercials soon after, and his story was instrumental in giving the sandwich chain an image as a healthy place to eat. During a search of Taylor’s home in May, federal investigators say they discovered a cache of sexually explicit photos and videos Taylor allegedly produced by secretly filming minor children at the home. They said they also allegedly found more than 400 videos of child pornography on computers and storage media recovered from Taylor’s home office in his Indianapolis residence. And if they find any more of that crap on the stuff seized from Jared, then I hope he gets what's coming to him. And speaking of coming, an NYPD sergeant has been suspended after a co-worker claimed he threw semen on her inside of police headquarters. The sergeant, identified as Michael Iscenko, allegedly tossed semen on the unidentified woman near a freight elevator at 1 Police Plaza. The victim — who worked with Iscenko in the Organized Crime Control Bureau — reported the recent incident immediately after it happened. The substance that was splattered on her was tested and determined to be semen, but it has not yet been determined if it was Iscenko’s semen. That is just disgusting and he should be fired.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Taxless tobacco

A World Health Organization report says taxing cigarettes to more than 75 percent of their retail price is the most effective way to reduce tobacco use, but that too few governments levy high enough taxes. The WHO's 2015 report on the global tobacco epidemic, released in Manila today, says more than half of the world's countries, encompassing about 2.8 billion people, have implemented at least one of six sets of agreed-upon tobacco-control policies. But it says many nations continue to have very low tobacco tax rates or no taxes at all. The report and officials say tobacco taxation could be a key source of funding to implement health and development goals. Seriously, there's plenty of money for governments the world over to be making from Big Tobacco. They've been making undeserved profits from pumping their poison into our lungs for too long and it's time somebody stood up to them.

X Factor auditions to be X'd

'The X Factor' auditions have been cancelled following the death of Simon Cowell's mother. A spokesperson for Syco Entertainment has confirmed that the planned events - the first of which was set to take place in Manchester later today - will not now go ahead after the death of 89-year-old Julie Brett, which follows a lengthy health battle that Simon had chosen to keep private. Speaking last night, the spokesperson said: "They were due to start tomorrow and carry on into Tuesday and Wednesday. Tomorrow's have been cancelled and we have not made any decisions beyond that." Meanwhile, a show insider has revealed the news has upset everyone connected to the ITV programme. They should cancel that crap altogether. The entire genre is the worst excuse for "entertainment" that the world has had to suffer through.

He's gonna start the marriage

Billy Joel has married his girlfriend Alexis Roderick in a surprise ceremony at the singer's Long Island estate. A spokeswoman for the star, who has been married three times before, revealed that the couple exchanged vows while they were hosting a Fourth of July party celebrating Independence Day. She said the small group of family and friends at the get-together did not know the couple were planning to get married. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo presided over the nuptials and those in attendance included Alexa Ray Joel, his 29-year-old daughter with model Christie Brinkley. But all I can say is congratulations. Just don't stuff it up like many other couples do.

To boldly name what nobody has named before

The quest to find out the new title of the Star Trek franchise's next movie is finally over. Director Justin Lin has just revealed on his Twitter account the title of the next film. "Let the next Starfleet voyage begin! #StarTrekBeyond #LLAP," he posted. That's right, "Star Trek Beyond" will be the next title of the film. He also made reference to Spock's famous saying, "live long and prosper," and posted a picture of the Starfleet: United Federation of Planets badges from a costume. Paramount Pictures also shared the picture on their official Facebook page with the caption, "JUST ANNOUNCED #StarTrekBeyond." And speaking of beyond, it will be beyond horrible if the Hurricanes win tonight. At time of posting, it is almost half-time and they are losing 6-0. Final score will be posted later tonight.

UPDATE: The Highlanders beat the Hurricanes 21-14 in the Super Rugby final.

ONE-LINE CHALLENGE: The Super Rugby Final

The Highlanders better win tomorrow.

Dukes to be duked

The Wi-Fi at my house may be back, but this hot piece can't wait until later tonight. US cable network TV Land has pulled re-runs of the 1980s sitcom Dukes of Hazzard, amid controversy over portrayals of the Confederate flag, which is notably featured on the show's "General Lee" vehicle. Viacom-owned TV Land declined to comment on why it has pulled the re-runs, but there has been growing criticism of displays of the Civil War-era flag in the wake of the shooting of nine black churchgoers in South Carolina last month. The man arrested in the shooting, Dylann Roof, is a 21-year-old white man who had posed with a Confederate battle flag in photos posted on a website that displayed a racist manifesto attributed to him. Dukes of Hazzard ran from 1979 to 1985 and centered on the fictional Duke family, who lived in rural Georgia. An orange car bearing a Confederate flag design of the roof and nicknamed "General Lee" was regularly featured in the show. Fans of the program took to social media to express frustration with TV Land's decision. A Change.org petition to bring the show back had more than 6300 supporters as of Thursday morning. This marks the latest effort to banish the racially charged Stars and Bars from pop culture after various states began debating whether to remove the flag, and it's one of the few that have gone too far. The General Lee, believe it or not, is one of few places where a Confederate flag belongs. And with today's photo-editing technology, they could've just digitally removed the flag in scenes featuring the car for the time being if it's that big a deal.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Forgetting it was supposed to be done on the Tuesday

But let's not worry about that because Donald Trump is suing Univision for US$500 million after his disparaging remarks about Mexican immigrants prompted the leading Spanish-language broadcaster to drop its July telecast of the Miss USA pageant. The suit, filed in New York by his Miss Universe Organization, called Univision's decision "in reality, a politically motivated attempt to suppress Mr. Trump's freedom of speech under the First Amendment as he begins to campaign for the nation's presidency." He accuses Univision of violating their multi-year deal. "Always fight back when right," Trump tweeted. Univision Networks' president of programming, Alberto Ciurana, was named as a co-defendant. In a photo he posted to his Instagram account, Ciurana compared Trump to Dylann Roof, the 21-year-old man charged with murdering nine African Americans in a Charleston, S.C., church. That is a rather unfair comparison to be making, but if that's how Univision feel about Donald Trump right now, then they were right to drop Miss USA from their lineup. And besides, beauty pageants are one of the biggest wastes of airtime around, even without the excessively dolled-up children you see at some of those things.

What the Nazis taketh, seventy years returneth

The Bellend of the Month for June 2015 is the Nazi regime. We all know what those creeps did to the Jewish populations of the territories they occupied, but what's most revolting is the fact that the global Jewish population has only just recovered to pre-WWII levels. That's right, seventy long years after the Holocaust, the global Jewish population has finally returned to the level it was at before the Second World War, after a surge in numbers in the past decade. The Jewish People Policy Institute said in its annual survey that there were about 16.6 million Jews around the world, a figure not seen since the 1930s and the Nazis’ attempts to exterminate them. “There is a certain symbolic value in that the Jewish people have reattained the number that they had before the awful destruction,” Binyamin Netanyahu, the Israeli prime minister, said after his cabinet reviewed the report. So PLEASE do not plan mass genocide. The groups you seek to rid the world of may take much more than seventy years to recover next time, and it could take even longer for populations to reach where they would be now had it not been for such callous intervention.

Dildos in the name of ISIS

A CNN reporter may never live down the day she was so pleased at being the only person to notice an Islamic State flag at a London gay pride march. Correspondent Lucy Pawle had no doubts she had seen the terrorist banner in the parade, even though she acknowledged it was a poor attempt at mimicry and the writing on it "could be gobbledygook". In fact the symbols on the flag weren't even writing, they were silhouettes of sex toys. The event at which the flag was flown should have given Pawle pause for thought before she started revelling in her own cleverness. Plenty of other people were able to join the dots and the torrents of derision soon followed on social media. If you look at the flag closely, it's clearly not Arabic, in fact it looks like it could be gobbledygook, but it's very distinctive, the Isis flag. But from far away, Arabic looks like buttplugs & dildos. Speaking of dildos, over 100 people rallying for the Confederate flag today say they don't want it removed from public places because they don't believe it's an offensive or racist symbol. Instead, they're stressing how important it is to the history of our country, specifically in the south. "It's not about racism," said supporter Tim Guthrie. "It's about our family heritage." Guthrie and organizer Bill Starnes say the "Save the Flag Rally" was an unfortunate necessity. That flag seriously needs to come down. The symbol has always been associated with racism, especially considering the Confederacy started over slavery. Even an ISIS flag would be a refreshing step up.

Small players, big brawl

Otahuhu College has spoken out about yesterday's violent brawl at a South Auckland rugby game which saw a 14-year-old knocked-out. The teen was knocked unconscious during a mass brawl involving up to 50 players and spectators following an under-15 rugby match between Otahuhu College and Tangaroa College. Otahuhu College left a message on its Facebook page this morning saying the student was making "steady progress". It went on to say that it didn't want the incident to "detract from the hundreds of OC students and their families who play, watch, and support sport every week". The school's comments come following rising concerns that ugly sideline antics are ruining junior sports. Police officers at amateur sports grounds are becoming a familiar sight. ONE News Facebook readers have called the incident and the increase in violence in junior sports "ugly behaviour" and are calling for a ban on the players and supporters involved in the fight. "Ban the players involved from playing for up to a year," David Richardson wrote. "Ban all the kids and parents involved from all rugby. Permanently," Digger Wright suggested, adding "Maybe that will sent he [sic] message that no one will put up with this kind of crap." Nobody should have to put up with this kind of crap. I realise this is South Auckland we're talking about, but come on. Fights have no place in any non-combat sport except for ice hockey and roller derby.

WE DID IT AMERICA!

The Supreme Court ruled on Friday that the U.S. Constitution provides same-sex couples the right to marry, handing a historic triumph to the American gay rights movement. The court ruled 5-4 that the Constitution's guarantees of due process and equal protection under the law mean that states cannot ban same-sex marriages. With the landmark ruling, gay marriage becomes legal in all 50 states. Immediately after the decision, same-sex couples in many of the states where gay marriage had been banned headed to county clerks' offices for marriage licenses as officials in several states said they would respect the ruling. President Barack Obama, appearing in the White House Rose Garden, hailed the ruling as a milestone in American justice that arrived "like a thunderbolt." "This ruling is a victory for America," said Obama, the first sitting president to support gay marriage. "This decision affirms what millions of Americans already believe in their hearts. When all Americans are treated as equal, we are all more free." As night fell, the White House was lit in rainbow colors - a symbol of gay pride - to mark the high court's decision. The ruling is the Supreme Court's most important expansion of marriage rights in the United States since its landmark 1967 ruling in the case Loving v. Virginia that struck down state laws barring interracial marriages.

THE FILM BEAT: Inside Out

Before I start my review, I will tell you why this post is a little early. It's because my dad literally broke the internet. More specifically, he removed our landline by mistake, so our home phone and Wi-Fi are out for the time being. As a result, I'm now having to do the next few posts with my cellphone or at public computing facilities during their respective opening hours. He's redecorating the hallway, and removed some old wires for the telephone connection, thinking we didn't need them anymore. It could be up to five days before someone comes up to fix it, so don't be surprised to see early posts into July.

Now to why I'm bringing back the Friday Film Beat. It's because we're retiring the Bad Idea of the Week later this year and I want to test out different candidates for its replacement. So here's my review: it was one of the most bizarre films Pixar has ever put out. Go see it and see just how right I am.

And now, back before it even starts...

USA Network has given a vote of confidence to its new series "Mr. Robot". The cable channel had ordered a second season of the cyber drama, hours before it premiered last night. The second season will consist of at least 10 episodes and will debut next year. "We knew from the moment we read Sam Esmail's provocative script, and witnessed the brilliant performances of Rami Malek and Christian Slater, that 'Mr. Robot' is a stand-out series that is unlike anything currently on television," said USA Network president Chris McCumber. "The overwhelmingly positive fan reactions to the pilot and the broad sampling of it reaffirms our confidence in the series, and we're excited to see where this timely drama will take us for season two." That's good to hear, but if you've not seen it yet, click here and get downloading.

Old system, new gadget

See for yourself:

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: The coming mass extinction

The world is witnessing extinction rates unseen in the last 65-million years. That was when dinosaurs died off – thanks to a mixture of an asteroid impact on Mexico and massive volcanic outbursts elsewhere. The four mass extinctions before that were also caused by natural disasters. But this time it is down to human activity, say a group of scientists writing in the journal Science Advances. Looking at data from the International Union for the Conservation of Nature, the researchers looked at the rate of extinction of animals over the last 500 years. The union runs a Red List of critically endangered animals. They found that normally two species per 10,000 go extinct every 100 years. That is the baseline, or natural rate of extinction without disaster events. Human intervention – they said in the release on Friday – has accelerated this rate by up to a hundred times. This has been during “the period during which Homo sapiens truly became a major force on the biosphere”. However, the number of up to a 100% increase in extinctions is conservative. The researchers said it would be hard to accurately predict extinction rates when numbers had only been effectively recorded in recent years. And even these numbers only scratch the surface. Their paper – “Accelerated modern human–induced species losses: Entering the sixth mass extinction.” – said only around 16 000 of the estimated 1.4-million invertebrates worldwide were catalogued. This meant species are going extinct without people knowing it. And the species that are going extinct are so small that they are hardly noticeable, the researchers said. The conservative scenario found that 111 mammal species have gone extinct between 1500 and 1900. Sixty-nine more have gone extinct in the last century. The same acceleration is evident in other species: 477 vertebrate species have gone extinct in the last century, compared to 617 in the four preceding centuries. In the five hundred years that they looked at, the researchers found that 130 000 species have been lost – 7% of the world’s biodiversity. “The particularly high losses in the last several decades accentuate the the increasing severity of the modern extinction crisis.” If nothing is done to stem the rate of extinction, the researchers said 75% of the species in existence today could vanish. “We have the potential for making massive change, and the bottom line is that we can’t be the generation responsible for wiping out three-fourths of life forms on the Earth.” This is serious stuff right here. If we don't clean up our act, 2012 will come. And the next generation of human life, if there is one, will be left picking up the pieces. We're better than that.

A woman's place is on the dough

By 2020, a woman will finally be right on the money — literally. A remake of the $10 bill will include a portrait of a woman and although a man, Treasury Secretary Jacob Lew, gets the final say on who that woman will be, he's open to suggestions. So let's take him up on the offer. There are some great contenders for the coveted spot on the $10 bill — Clara Barton, Eleanor Roosevelt, Sally Ride, Harriet Tubman, and Susan B Anthony just to name a few. There's also civil rights activist Fannie Lou Hamer and Shirley Chisholm, the first black woman to be elected to Congress. And let's not forget Rosa Parks - by refusing to give up her bus seat to the white man in 1955, she sat and stood up against inequality not from some great platform but just as a citizen tired of injustice. And how can you read Sojourner Truth's 1851 speech "Ain't I a Woman?" and not consider her for the currency? "I could have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man — when I could get it — and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman?" And fans of Alexander Hamilton need not despair, for the woman on the $10 bill will have to share the space with Alexander Hamilton. In a release, the Treasury Department said Lew has "made clear" that the image of Hamilton will remain in some way as part of the new banknote. They could do what Australia does and have a man on one side and a woman on the other. But back to America's initiative: who will be on #thenew10?

HAPPY SOLSTICE EVERYONE

Spiderman, Spiderman, straight and white like a Spiderman is

The latest tidbit to come out from the Sony hack is the list of demands Marvel made to Sony when licensing the 'Spider-Man' flicks. The emails show the "mandatory character traits" needed to cast the "proper" Spider-Man/Peter Parker, which include (but are not limited to): male, does not have sex before the age of 16, not a homosexual, and Caucasian (white). However, it was mentioned that Spidey can be gay if "Marvel has portrayed that alter ego as a homosexual." The interesting thing about all of this is that the contract went into effect in September 2011, shortly after a black-latino Spider-Man was introduced in the comic book world. Seriously, guys, I think it is time we had a gay and/or black Spidey.

WHO DID IT BETTER: Team

It was previously mentioned there was something big coming later in the year. I can now tell you more about the event: it will be a new weekly feature to replace the Bad Idea of the Week after post #2000. Over the next twelve Fridays, I will be testing out four potential candidates for a new feature. Tonight will be the first of three of a feature called Who Did It Better? Tonight, it will be the Lorde song Team. Here's the original:
And here's a cover by a band called Local H:
So who did it better?

Don't mess with unlimited

But first, here's an old toy I played with today for the first time in a while. I had to put in some new batteries first, but it still works over 15 years after I first got it. In other technology-related news, the Federal Communications Commission has slapped AT&T with a US$100 million fine, accusing America's second-largest cellular carrier of improperly slowing down Internet speeds for customers who had signed up for "unlimited" data plans. The FCC found that when customers used up a certain amount of data watching movies or browsing the Web, AT&T "throttled" their Internet speeds so that they were much slower than normal. Millions of AT&T customers were affected by the practice, according to the FCC. The fine, which AT&T says it will fight, is the largest ever levied by the agency. It serves them right. By not properly disclosing the policy to consumers who thought they were getting “unlimited” data, the company violated the FCC's rules on corporate transparency. Consumers deserve to get what they pay for. Broadband providers must be upfront and transparent about the services they provide. And this isn't the first time AT&T's unlimited data policy has landed the company in hot water. The Federal Trade Commission sued the telecom company in October, alleging that 3.5 million users had their Internet service slowed to dial-up speeds an average of 12 days every month. SO DON'T DO IT.

Hitler, Hitler, he's their man, if he can't do it no-one can!

A girls’ cheer-dance team in Mexico has drawn criticism for a routine in which they displayed flags with swastikas, were dressed in pseudo-military outfits, and one girl tossed a Nazi salute to the crowd. The performance by about two dozen girls aged 10 to 16 came at a cheer-dance competition in the western city of Guadalajara at the end of May. The girls wore red armbands, camouflage dance outfits, and carried red flags as they strutted in marching-style formations. A video of the performance drew condemnation when it began to circulate Friday on social media sites. The abhorrent performance can be seen below:

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Trying to kick the Coyotes out

If the Arizona Coyotes want to pick up and leave town, they can, but that does not appear to be the preference of the team's ownership group. Last Wednesday, the Glendale city council put themselves in the penalty box when they voted 5-2 to cancel the professional management contract and arena lease agreement with IceArizona, the Coyotes' ownership group, just two years into a 15-year lease. The team remains defiant about the ruling, and while markets ripe for relocation of an NHL team may be licking their chops, this isn't over yet in Glendale. The team has its chance to leave, but CEO and co-owner Anthony LeBlanc says it is doing whatever it can to stay. The first order of business for the Coyotes is to pursue action against the City of Glendale to challenge the legality of the decision. To that end, the Arizona Coyotes have acted to defend their rights and reaffirm their continuing commitment to their great fans by seeking a restraining order to stop the City of Glendale's baseless attack on, and improper attempt to void, the Coyotes' lawful and proper lease to play at Gila River Arena. The suit was filed in Maricopa County Superior Court against the City of Glendale, the Glendale City Council, and other City officials. Last Friday, Superior Court Judge Dawn Bergin granted the motion for a temporary injunction and set another hearing on the dispute for June 29, and I hope the Coyotes can keep playing at Gila River through at least the 2027-28 season, even if it means having to change their team name to the Redskins.

Dinosaur, dinosaur, resurrect the dinosaur

As if Jurassic Park through Jurassic World didn’t warn us enough, scientists in London have discovered red blood cells in dinosaur bones, which could lead to the potential of resurrecting dinosaurs. Perhaps one day we’ll be welcomed to a very real Jurassic Park. Materials scientist Sergio Bertazzo and his colleague paleontologist Susannah Maidment were testing dinosaur bones from the Cretaceous period (meaning the fossils were around 75 million years old). Using image enhancement and a mass spectrometer, Bertazzo and Maidment discovered red blood cells and collagen strands (or structural proteins) in the specimens. This discovery made them wonder if more existing fossils contain red blood cells. While these findings can lead to answers in many areas including the physiology, behaviour, and diet of dinosaurs, there’s a chance that these cells may also contain viable DNA. And if dinosaurs do get resurrected, maybe Peppa Pig's brother George will get a real dinosaur of his own.

Ads off to you

iPhone fans will be happy to hear that Apple's new iOS 9 mobile operating system will have a feature that will help them avoid advertisements before their videos. The feature will be a version of Adblock, an extension in the Safari browser that is more common on desktop computers, which makes this addition the first time that iPhones and iPads will have such a tool. In addition of letting users block ads and cookies, the feature will help browsers load web pages faster and more exclusively. Come on. You know you want that. All you got to do is lose the Android, get an iPhone, and wait for iOS 9 to come out.

At this rate, it could be renamed iOS 10

Details of Apple's iOS 9 are finally out, and iPhone fans across the globe have been clamouring to find out more about the mobile operating system and the new functionalities it will bring to the table. Here's a definitive list detailing the best new features and technologies set to arrive:

• Apple touted the fact it has one billion requests a month on its Maps service now, and said it is working to improve Maps further in iOS 9 by adding improved step-by-step transit directions complete with public transport information. This will cover a raft of major cities such as New York, San Francisco, and London.
• Taking a page out of Android's book, iOS 9 has a new low-power mode that Apple claims will add an extra three hours of battery life to iPhones and iPads, something I already have a special case for.
• Apple has replaced Newsstand with an improved News app. The aggregator service will push articles based on data stored on the device and users' Apple account using layouts designed by publishers.
• Siri is getting a facelift on iOS 9 and will have a new interface and deeper integration into the mobile OS that will let it refer to and access information on photos, contacts, and apps when answering questions.
• Keeping up the smarter strategy, iOS 9 also has a Proactive Assistant feature that can automatically suggest apps to launch or people to contact based on past user behaviour.
• Apple has streamlined iOS 9's photo viewing feature so that people can scroll through images by holding and dragging on a timeline at the bottom of the screen.
• Improved iOS 9 security includes a more robust, and difficult to remember, six-digit passcode and two-factor authentication by default.
• Apple has managed to make the file to install iOS 9 just 1.3GB, down from the 4.6GB required for iOS 8, which was criticised by some. Furthermore, all devices that can run iOS 8 can move to iOS 9, so you should have no excuse come release day.
• Just like with OS X El Capitan, the iPad version will be chopping off its balls and putting on a skirt. That's right, iOS 9 is now capable of multitasking with the addition of split screen application support that lets users run and display two services at once on an iPad.
• iOS 9 adds support for a number of new APIs, including new HealthKit data points for reproductive health and UV exposure, as well as an open source Swift 2 coding language Apple claims will offer numerous performance improvements.
• Apple has redesigned Notes on iOS 9, adding the ability to scribble notes using your finger, create checklists, and take photos from directly within the app.
• And last but not least, Passbook has been ditched for a new app called Wallet. The app will let users store payment cards and boarding passes, for example, and adds support for loyalty and reward cards.

Wi-Fi to be Wi-Fixed

Noticed your iPhone and Mac’s Wi-Fi weren’t so good over the last year? You’re not alone, and Apple is finally fixing it, albeit quietly. Wi-Fi problems were one of the biggest complaints about Apple’s Yosemite update for Mac last year, with thousands of users taking to Apple’s support forums to air frustration. If you’re wondering exactly what happened, there are a few moving parts. First, you need to understand what the Domain Name System (DNS) does. Each computer on the internet has an IP address, which is like where it can be found on a street. Domain names for websites, like disseminatorsofthetruth.blogspot.com, have an attached IP address that locates these computers. Think of a domain name as a human-readable way to get to the right IP address. DNS servers, like the ones Google or your internet provider offers, keep a directory of domain names and their IP addresses. When you type disseminatorsofthetruth.blogspot.com into your Web browser, your computer requests the address from a DNS server, then takes you to this page. It all happens without your knowledge — at least, when it works. For the better part of twelve years, Apple used a single piece of software called “mDNSResponder” to manage much of your Mac’s networking, including this lookup process. In general, it worked flawlessly. When OS X Yosemite rolled around in late 2014, Apple decided to rip out the trusty DNS responder and replaced it with a new process called “discoveryd.” The problems with discoveryd have been vast and unpredictable. You’ve probably run into at least one: duplicate computer names, random crashes, slow page loading, slow reconnection after sleep — the list goes on. Apple tried on three occasions to patch out the problems, but the complaints continued to flow in. When a beta build of OS X hit 10.10.4 in May, discoveryd suddenly vanished after months with no fix. At first, many wondered if it was an accident, but mDNSResponder had miraculously returned and has stuck around in the latest beta builds. But it's not the only thing good about the upcoming OS X update - click here to see more.

The Split-sons

There seems to be quite a bit of confusion over the future of Homer and Marge Simpson. It started after Simpsons executive producer Al Jean was quoted saying the couple would "legally separate" in the new season in a Variety interview. Unsurprisingly, this caused quite a stir among fans. So Jean took to Twitter to clarify: "I DIDN'T SAY Homer and Marge are breaking up I said they are BIGGER THAN JESUS." The official Simpsons Twitter account also got involved - tweeting a picture of Bart writing on the blackboard "Homer and Marge and not breaking up". That was followed by another tweet saying "Marge and Homer forever!" in Spanish. In the Variety interview, Al Jean was also quoted saying that Homer would find out he has narcolepsy, a brain disorder that causes a person to suddenly fall asleep. Jean said: "In the premiere, it's discovered after all the years Homer has narcolepsy and it's an incredible strain on the marriage. Homer and Marge legally separate, and Homer falls in love with his pharmacist, who's voiced by Lena Dunham." Jean used Twitter to respond to several fans, although it doesn't seem much clearer exactly what will happen to Homer and Marge. Season 27 of The Simpsons is due to air in September, and it will answer all the big questions - which one will be staying at 742 Evergreen Terrace? Where will the other one move? Which parent will Bart, Lisa, and Maggie live with? And will there be a new title sequence to accommodate the split? And the big one - is it for real or will they go back on their decision just before the credits like on Family Guy last season, when Quagmire almost did time for statutory rape?

The 'droid can't even handle 9 right now

At its annual WWDC conference, Apple announced iOS 9 - the next level of mobile operating system for iPhones, iPads, and iPod Touch devices. While iOS 9 does not offer anything radical in terms of design, the biggest feature in the new OS is what Apple calls ‘Proactive assistance.’ This new feature relies on deep-search linking, along with data from third-party apps to provide results that are most relevant to a user. And it sounds a lot like Google Now. But the big question - will it prove to be a worthy challenger to the Google voice-assistant? For starters, proactive assistance is going to take the place of Spotlight in iOS 9 and it will give users the most relevant information based on the context they put in. For example, it can learn what music you listen to in the gym at what time of day and it will put that on for you when say you plug the iPhone into a set of speakers. In addition to this, Proactive will also automatically add invites and reminders to your calendar without a user having to tap and do it themselves. Also, searches via Proactive will be anonymous, and not shared with third-parties or linked to other Apple services. In Google Now’s case, it is invariably linked to other Google products and services including your email. Apple showed WWDC how Proactive assistance will work and gave demos of the service, but it’s not clear if iOS 9 will offer an option to users to log out of this new service. We'll just have to find out when iOS 9 is ready to download.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Putting it off any longer

But I fear I must. The something big I mentioned last night is still twelve weeks away.

Something big is coming

Watch this space.

High hopes for ocean cleanup

A Dutch man barely out of his teens is leading one of the most ambitious ocean cleanup efforts ever: to halve the amount of plastic debris floating in the Pacific within a decade. The man’s name is Boyan Slat, and he’s come up with a pretty ingenious way of doing it. Instead of clamoring around the globe on a never-ending junk hunt, he wants the ocean to “clean itself.” Every year, 8 million tons of plastic are dumped into the oceans. Slat’s plan is to place enormous floating barriers in rotating tidal locations around the globe, and let the plastic waste naturally flow into capture. These barriers aren’t nets - sea life gets tangled in those. They’re big, V-shaped buffers anchored by floating booms. Slat’s nonprofit, the Ocean Cleanup, says the current will flow underneath those booms, where animals will be carried through safely. The buoyant plastic is funneled above and concentrates at the water’s surface along the barriers for easy gathering and disposal. Of course the irresponsibly dumped trash will still have to be removed using human effort, but the job is now that much easier because it's all being moved to one place. Sadly, you won't find this in action just yet - this ocean-cleaning system will be deployed next year. They’re planning to station it near the Japanese island of Tsushima, situated in between Japan’s Nagasaki prefecture and South Korea. The detritus-catching apparatus will be 6,500 feet (almost 2 km) wide and is being called the longest floating structure ever placed in the ocean. Eventually, more of these storm-resistant, plastic-gathering structures will be placed around the world, if all goes according to plan. But enough about that because here's a question for you all: ever wanted more from your batteries? How about 800% more? Most new batteries contain 1.5V of energy when first bought. The problem is that many devices stop functioning at around the 1.3V mark. That's what California-based startup Batteroo have in mind with their new product, the Batteriser. It uses micro-circuitry that lets you instantly tap into the 80% energy that is usually thrown away, and is crafted from stainless steel at just 100 micrometres thin to fit into your devices' battery compartments, yet tough enough to be reused over and over. Need more convincing? Check out the website here.

Indonesia to get the FIF out

FIFA, which finds itself under heavy scrutiny following the indictment of 14 world soccer officials on charges of taking bribes and other corruption, has paradoxically shown the red card to Indonesia for failing to manage its own affairs and allowing third parties, namely its government, to influence Persatuan Sepakbola Seluruh Indonesia (sometimes translated as All-Indonesian Football Association). The ban, first reported by the Wall Street Journal, means Indonesia will not be allowed to compete in qualifiers for the 2018 World Cup in Russia or the 2019 AFC Asian Cup hosted by the United Arab Emirates. "This decision resulted from the effective 'take over' of the activities of PSSI by the Indonesian authorities," FIFA said in a statement. Indonesia has not qualified or participated in the World Cup since the last pre-war edition in 1938, when it played as the Dutch East Indies, and it won't be able to until their national governing body develops a backbone and learns not to sieg heil to corrupt government types. Seriously, don't mix sport with politics. It has led to disaster in the past.

Another Enterprise crew member to boldly go to the great starship in the sky

Tom Hanks’ son Chet Haze has one question - can't ya give an up and coming white rapper a break and let him say "my n****" every now and then? Yes, rapping Chet says he identifies with hip hop culture so much, he should be allowed to drop the N-word freely. I would not give him unlimited free passes on such a horrible word on his flimsy reasoning alone. Eminem may use words like bitch and faggot freely, but the N-word isn't even in his vocabulary. Sorry, Chet, but you have to be a n***** to say n*****. Your reasoning for the contrary is the epitome of illogic. And speaking of logic, it seems time could soon be up for yet another Star Trek actor. Barely three months after the loss of Leonard Nimoy, Nichelle Nichols, who played Uhura in the original TV series and films, suffered a mild stroke Wednesday night, according to a post on her Facebook page. "Last night while at her home in L.A., Nichelle Nichols suffered from a mild stroke," said the statement by Zach McGinnis of Galactic Productions, which books Nichols and other actors for public appearances. "She is currently undergoing testing to determine how severe the stroke was," the statement continued. "Please keep her in your thoughts." Just remember that one day, we will all be assimilated with the cold hard ground housing those who have gone before us. You can hold off this eventuality for many years, but in the end, resistance is futile.

Caitlyn, #dontgivebackthegold

A bunch of total idiots believe Caitlyn Jenner ought to give back her Gold Medal. On Change.org, a petition went into circulation on Monday that was started by a woman named Jennifer Bradford. It asks the Olympic International Committee to revoke the top prize Bruce Jenner earned at the 1976 Decathalon because Bruce says he has always identified as female. "We congratulate Ms. Jenner on these new developments and wish her the best," reads the petition. "However, this creates somewhat of a problem as Ms. Jenner (as talented as she is) claims that she has always believed herself to be truly female, and therefore, was in violation of committee rules regarding women competing in men's sports and vice versa." The ridiculous document proceeds to try and justify why the former athlete's accomplishments at the 1976 Montreal Olympics should no longer be valid. "As we must now either claim that Bruce Jenner and Caitlyn Jenner are two entirely different people (which we know is not true), or that Bruce Jenner was, in fact, a woman participating in a men's event. "It is only fair to all involved that women receive their credit as champions of the Decathalon and that the men racing Ms. Jenner are not expected to compete with a superior, streamlined being such as herself." This is clearly an asinine line of reasoning, especially coming from somebody who probably doesn't know what the word asinine means. And, most insulting of all perhaps, Bradford somehow tries to claim that Caitlyn Jenner giving up her Gold would help her cause. "We urge Ms. Jenner to support the transgender community by giving up the medals earned by competing against the wrong gender," she writes. "Thank you, and congratulations to Ms. Jenner for her courage! #givebackthegold." Sadly, over 5,000 people have signed the petition so far. If you sign that, you are officially a complete retard. Even if Jenner did identify as a woman during his gold medal-winning accomplishment at Montreal, at least he didn't use performance-enhancing drugs like a certain seven-time Tour de France champion. There are much better and more worthy petitions on Change.org to sign, for instance this one seeking the disbarment of a lawyer who wants to legalise the murder of LGBT people.

Dudstown? More like Floodstown

It's happening in Texas, and it's also happening in my neck of the woods. I took the above pictures at Otago Polytechnic while waiting for a ride home from the soccer (for those who want the results of the games I went to, Mexico beat Uruguay 2-1 and Serbia beat Mali 2-0). You might not be able to make out the giant puddle because it was dark out, but one thing is clear - 2012 is here. The Mayans did predict this, but they just got the date wrong. Climate change is coming, and not all lifeforms will be able to survive its destructive powers, including but not limited to temperature extremes on both ends of the scale. When we fulfil Mayan prophecy by leaving our planet at the mercy of polluters big and small, future generations are left picking up the pieces. Also, congratulations Kayleigh and Nick (my sister and her husband) for staying married for 200 days.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Windows 10

It's coming on 29 July, and it's not worth it. Ditch your silly Windows machine and get a Mac. If it's not an Apple, it's crapple.

The Rock shakes his way to number one

Earthquake disaster movie San Andreas has topped the US box office, taking $53.2m over the weekend - allaying fears that audiences in quake-prone regions would avoid seeing it. The film, which stars Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, knocked last week's top film Tomorrowland, which debuted with $40.7m (£26.7m), into third place. Pitch Perfect 2 was at number two and Mad Max: Fury Road was fourth. Avengers: Age of Ultron - 2015's biggest US film so far - was fifth. I've already seen all five, and a particular scene in San Andreas, where one character was trying to attract the attention of The Rock's boat with a laser pointer, has got me thinking that it may be time to clarify my position on those things. For starters, NEVER point them at aircraft unless you're trying to get a rescue vehicle's attention, in which case you should do three short flashes, then three long flashes, then three short flashes (SOS), and try to point it away from the pilot's eyes. They're good for presentations and as a cat toy, but it's not a good idea to use lasers to gain an unfair advantage in a staring contest. Also, don't point them at wildlife. No, seriously, don't.

Baby's last ride

As I have nothing else to write about tonight, we are going back to announcing the Bellend of the Month on the last day of the month instead of the first of the next month. The Bellend of the Month for May 2015 is Brandon Hoffman, a 20-year-old from Pennsylvania who was mimicking a professional wrestling move when he inadvertently slammed his girlfriend’s toddler to the floor, causing head injuries that killed the boy on the 5th. Hoffman is charged with involuntary manslaughter, endangering the welfare of a child, aggravated assault, and other offenses in the death of 18-month old Bryson Shoemaker. Hoffman was performing a wrestling maneuver that is done by The Undertaker known as “The Last Ride” at his Jersey Shore apartment. Hoffman had intended for the boy to land on the bed. In the move, the wrestler gets the opponent on his shoulders then throws him to the ground. There is no excuse for a 20-year-old grown man to behave in this manner with an 18-month-old child. And besides, professional wrestling is fake, even if the crowds' enthusiasm isn't.

Aloha not getting the aloha it deserves

The movie 'Aloha' opened in America this weekend and is loaded with Hollywood stars: Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, Bill Murray, and Alec Baldwin. It was filmed in Hawaii and showcases the beautiful scenery. But many native Hawaiian people say they will not see the movie. One glaring reason, the title. "It could not have come at a worse time in the Hawaiian community for somebody to nationally use one of our most cherished words for money making," says Hawaiian activist Walter Ritte, who says using the word 'aloha' for a film that has nothing to do with Hawaiian culture is insulting. "It is synonymous to the scientists coming to our most sacred mountain and using it for science without any concern about the sacredness of that mountain," Ritte says referring to the TMT being constructed on Mauna Kea. So what? This movie could actually be a good thing for the state - according to the Hawaii Film Office, the producers did pump millions of dollars into the state's economy. More than 400 local people were hired to help with filming. The producers also went above and beyond the tax credit donation requirement, by contributing money to three public high schools for their arts programs: Radford, Farrington, and Kailua. And it will all be worth it when it opens in New Zealand.

He needs a dollar, dollar, dollar is what he needs

That's right - an elderly man in Washington DC was knocked out and robbed over one dollar. Check it out for yourself:

Corruption to be shown the red card

Israelis were expecting some big news to come out of the annual FIFA (logo pictured) Congress this week. But they probably weren’t expecting this: in a bombshell operation, a Swiss law enforcement team showed up at the Zurich hotel hosting the annual gathering of the international soccer organization — and arrested nine senior officials. The arrests come after decades of corruption allegations aimed at FIFA. The arrested officials face charges of taking money in exchange for World Cup hosting bids, as well as taking bribes in exchange for media and marketing rights for major international tournaments. The allegations are damning, but frankly, they couldn’t have come at a better time for Israel. Until yesterday, much of the coverage of the FIFA Congress surrounded whether delegates would vote to red card Israel from world soccer. The Palestinian Football Association is introducing the motion to suspend Israel, accusing it of unjustly restricting Palestinian soccer players’ freedom of movement and claiming that Israel’s West Bank settlement teams violate FIFA rules. Israeli officials have called the effort blatantly political and said that the Palestinians’ complaints all concern Israel’s security forces — not Israel’s soccer teams. For Israel to be suspended, three quarters of delegates would need to approve the motion. If that were a long shot before, it’s even more unlikely now. Suspending the Jewish state from international play would have rocked world soccer’s boat, inviting allegations of anti-Semitism and double standards. Israel, to say the least, likely would not have gone quietly into the night. Besides, there is already something anti-Semitic about world soccer right now: the FIFA U-20 tournament logo for the upcoming edition in New Zealand has what appears to be a swastika pattern in the bottom. Check it out for yourself:

The Text That Crashed the iPhone

A bug in the way iOS handles certain unicode text causes the iPhone to crash when receiving a message. The string of text has been making its way around the Internet after it was first discovered on Reddit earlier this afternoon.

effective.
Power
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If you send the string of text to anyone with an iPhone, the device will respring and reboot. Jailbroken users will be forced in Safe Mode. If the Messages app was opened to the list view, then the Messages app will become useless as opening it will always result in a crash. Oddly enough, if you have the conversation window open already and receive the text, the phone will not crash; therefore, in order for the crash to work, the user must not have the conversation thread open (the crash works everywhere else including the lock screen, notification center, and banners). If you're stuck with your Messages app constantly crashing after receiving the text there are a couple of fixes. Most involve sending a message outside of the messages app (through Share sheets or through Siri). Below are two examples of ways to solve the issue:

1. Launch the photos app, send a random photo to the person who sent you the text, then go into iMessage and delete the conversation.
2. Use Siri to send a message to the person who just sent you the string. After Siri confirms and sends the message, open the Messages app and the problem should be resolved.

To prevent anyone from restarting your iPhone through the message again, you can turn off alert/banner message previews, or completely turn off message notification banners (Settings > Notifications > Message). No word on how long this bug has been present in iOS but hopefully Apple will release a fix soon.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Domestic violence

Troubled Chicago Bears defensive end Ray McDonald was arrested yesterday on charges of domestic violence and child endangerment after an incident in Santa Clara, Calif., leading the team to release him this afternoon. Santa Clara police said in a release that McDonald allegedly assaulted a woman while she was holding a baby. The Bears announced McDonald's release at 1:30 p.m. Pacific Daylight Time, roughly six hours after McDonald's arrest. "We believe in second chances, but when we signed Ray we were very clear what our expectations were if he was to remain a Bear," Chicago general manager Ryan Pace said in a statement. "He was not able to meet the standard and the decision was made to release him." Fair enough, but it's not enough to simply punish the players who inflict the abuse on women and children. If the NFL wants the good work it's done over the last year to combat domestic violence to actually mean something, it has to go after the owners and GMs who have long enabled them. For instance, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell ought to slap the Chicago Bears with a hefty fine and dock them a draft pick or two. Suspend general manager Ryan Pace for four games. Ban owner George McCaskey from the stadium for the first half of the season while he's at it, too, since it was McCaskey's enlightened decision to blow off the alleged victim when he gave the OK to sign McDonald. His conduct should not have been condoned like that. In fact, fighting has no place in any non-combat sport except for ice hockey.

Drawn but not defeated

Manchester United ended the 2014/15 season in disappointing fashion at the KC Stadium this morning – with ten men and a goalless draw against Hull City, who were subsequently relegated from the Barclays Premier League after Newcastle claimed the victory they needed to send the Tigers down. Steve Bruce’s men had the better of the chances in a lacklustre 90 minutes and while the home side rightly had two goals disallowed for offside, they were also denied by a couple of excellent saves from Victor Valdes, who made his first start for the Reds in place of the injured David De Gea. A frustrating afternoon for United was capped by Marouane Fellaini's red card for a studs-up challenge on ex-Red Paul McShane. Despite there being little riding on the game for United, Louis van Gaal stayed true to his word and fielded a strong side, featuring fit-again captain Wayne Rooney and Angel Di Maria, who made his first start since the FA Cup defeat to Arsenal at the start of March. The Argentinian took up a spot on the left wing, with Juan Mata on the right and Ashley Young behind Rooney. There was no Radamel Falcao after he picked up a knock in training, while Robin van Persie was named on the bench. Two other players per side were given yellow cards, but the real issue here is that Manchester United need to do better next season. Fourth place may be enough to get into the Champions League, but it won't win them the silverware. If LVG can pull it off, it will be a bigger comeback than when Pam Dawber was on The Crazy Ones last April.

1900 POSTS!

And Ireland have become the first country in the world to legalise gay marriage via a constitutional referendum. What isn't good, however, is that an executive is walking free after a prison sentence for abusing her powers was cancelled. Former Korean Air executive Heather Cho, who was jailed for a fit she threw on a flight over how she was served nuts, walked free Friday when an appeals court suspended her sentence. Cho, the daughter of Korean Air's chairman, was sentenced to a year in jail in February. On Friday, Seoul's High Court reduced the sentence to 10 months - and then released her on two years' probation. If she runs afoul of the probation restrictions at any point in the next two years, she'll be back in jail. Cho was working for Korean Air on December 5 when, as a first-class passenger on an international flight, an attendant served her macadamia nuts in a bag. Cho wanted them on a plate and demanded the plane go back to the gate at New York's JFK airport so a crew member could be kicked off the flight. I too would expect a higher standard of service in first class, but ejecting a flight attendant is not the way to address the issue. Instead, she could've said something like "excuse me, sir/ma'am, shouldn't you be serving first-class passengers their nuts on a plate instead of in a bag?" and they can sort out the issue without inconveniencing everyone on board.

Nut rage exec has been freed

But enough about that because Ireland will find out tomorrow if they have become the first electorate in the world to vote for same-sex marriage. Polling stations have closed, with returning officers reporting higher turnout than usual for a referendum 'more comparable with a general election'. There are no postal votes in Ireland but some emigrants felt so passionately they caught the boat home to vote. I hope they do legalise love, but whatever the result, the bitter nature of the campaign has revealed the battle going on for the soul of a nation. A former bastion of the Roman Catholic Church, Ireland has undergone dramatic social change in the space of just 40 years. Contraception was illegal there until 1980, couples could not divorce until 1995 (the only two jurisdictions with that same fault now are the Philippines and Vatican City), and homosexuality was only decriminalised 22 years ago. When issues are emotive, it is difficult to predict the result - the winning margin in the divorce referendum was 0.56%. But that was 20 years ago and the church no longer holds sway over hearts and minds in Ireland. So here's hoping gays in Ireland will one day be able to tie the knot.

Like I said, we'll see China on the dark side of the moon

China is considering landing a spacecraft on the moon's "dark side" in 2020 - a mission which, if successful, would make it the first country to do so. The planned mission will see the Chang'e 4 spacecraft orbit the moon before sending a rover to the surface, Wu Weiren, the chief engineer for China's Lunar Exploration Program told state-run broadcaster CCTV, adding "we probably will choose a site on which it is more difficult to land and more technically challenging... Our next move will probably see some spacecraft land on the far side of the moon." China successfully landed a spacecraft - the Chang'e 3 - on the moon in December 2013, becoming only the third nation after the United States and Russia to land on the moon's surface. While the side of the moon not visible from earth has been observed by various probes, a landing has never been attempted. They should look at getting a man there of their very own, which the US was able to do on six occasions between 1969 and 1972, and then maybe a human settlement (provided they don't screw it up and send the moon hurtling through space like on that show Space: 1999).

We'll see China on the dark side of the moon

That's right, China's planning to explore the dark side of the moon by 2020. More when I can get tonight's source material to load.

Flat shoes canned at Cannes

Film producer Valeria Richter, who has part of her left foot amputated, says she was stopped at the Cannes Film Festival for not wearing high heels. She told BBC 5 live the Clothing Nazis pointed at her shoes and said: "No, no, this won't work, you can't get in like this." Ms Richter, who was eventually allowed in, spoke after Cannes was accused of turning away women in flat shoes. Richter told the BBC she "couldn't keep her balance" in heels, after having her big toe and part of her left foot amputated. She was stopped four times on her way into the premiere of Gus Van Sant's Sea of Trees on Saturday. "They pointed their finger at my shoe and then were waving their fingers at me," she said. "It was quite obvious it was my shoes that was an issue." "Obviously, I could wave my foot at them," she said, "and that would make the situation a little awkward for them, because I had a visible explanation [for not wearing heels]". Although Ms Richter was eventually granted entry, she said "many of my colleagues who can't wear heels were rejected and did not come in." Seriously, why should one have to have a penis to be allowed to wear flat-soled shoes inside, especially in a year when Cannes is seeking to address sexism in cinema? The festival has a less than stellar reputation when it came to women's clothes (this year, believe it or not, is the first time women are allowed to wear trousers to their premieres), and this has to change. This crap may be OK in Saudi Arabia, but not in France. It's ridiculous that women in the Western world are still being expected in 2015 to sieg heil to male chauvinism.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: What passes for "television" in Cambodia

Seriously, don't bother. Case in point: this is Autumn Allen — an American 13-year-old singer who has been living in Cambodia with her father for the last 7 years.

This year, she was invited to a TV show called Penh Chet Ort (Like It Or Not) for a special Mother's Day episode. The hosts of the show told Allen that they were about to reunite her with her mother, whom she hadn't seen since her move to Cambodia. This notion of getting to meet her mother again left Allen in tears. Apparently the show thought it was a good idea buildup the teen's hopes and then crush them with a cruel reveal — Allen's "mother" was introduced as a cross-dressing comedian named Chuop Rolin. The producer was stupid, brainless, and heartless by playing around with the mind and heart of a 13-year-old girl in this way. They lied to this girl that she and her mother who she hasn't met for a very long time will be reunited on live TV, only to be presented with a cross dressing comedian. The cross dressing is also a sickening joke of LGBT people and it's all too common on Cambodian TV.

All television producers in Cambodia, if you're reading this, it's time to stop the senseless "comedy" of screaming and making fun of gay people (for those who don't understand English, វាជាពេលវេលាដើម្បីបញ្ឈប់ "កំប្លែង" ផ្ដេសផ្ដាសនៃការស្រែកនិងការធ្វើឱ្យមានភាពសប្បាយរីករាយនៃមនុស្សស្រឡាញ់ភេទដូចគ្នា). It's discriminatory, and it's not funny when lives are affected. Why would a Cambodian audience find it funny if I don't? The sketches are always similar with people screaming off their lungs, and then the cross dressing guy who would be abused and made to hurt. How is that funny? Speaking of funny, how's a woman like an oven? You have to heat both of them up before you stick in the meat loaf.

Own goal costs two points

A cruel deflection handed Arsenal a late goal and an equaliser at Old Trafford this morning, as Manchester United ended their home campaign with a 1-1 draw. The Reds dominated the first half and went into the break 1-0 up courtesy of a stunning strike by Ander Herrera, who received the only yellow card in the match. Louis van Gaal's side were no less impressive for long periods after the interval, too, and will feel aggrieved that Theo Walcott's cross on 82 minutes ended up in the back of the net via a deflection off Tyler Blackett. Still, the way United controlled large parts of the game will have pleased the manager and is further proof that this squad has what it takes to compete with the best sides around. An injury to David De Gea, which forced the goalkeeper off just before Arsenal scored, was less pleasing. Also less pleasing is the fact that Manchester United no longer have a shot at second, but they still have a shot at third if they win their game against Hull City and Arsenal lose both of their next two games.

It's now mathematically certain

Manchester United will compete in the UEFA Champions League in 2015/16. The Reds, who missed out on qualifying for Europe's premier competition last season, are guaranteed to finish in at least fourth spot in the Barclays Premier League after fifth-placed Liverpool lost at home to Crystal Palace on last night (all times local). Palace, with former United winger Wilfried Zaha among the scorers, beat Brendan Rodgers' side 3-1 in Steven Gerrard's final home match as captain. Louis van Gaal’s men still have an opportunity to finish higher in the table, but need other results going the right way. A victory over third-placed Arsenal on Sunday would put United a point ahead of the Gunners, but Arsene Wenger’s men crucially have a game in hand, at home to Sunderland on Wednesday, ensuring their destiny remains in their own hands. Second-placed Manchester City are currently five points ahead of the Reds with two games to go – the Blues travel to Swansea on Sunday lunchtime, before finishing with a home game against Southampton. If United finish the campaign in fourth, the Reds will need to get through a two-legged qualifying play-off to be in the hat for the group stage. The draw for the play-off takes place on Friday 7 August with the first leg to be played on 18/19 August and the second leg scheduled for 25/26 August. Let's hope LVG can win this one as well as the Premiership next season.

Boston bomber on death row

A jury in Boston has voted to execute Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, refuting his lawyers' argument that he was pulled into the plot by his radicalized Muslim older brother and overcoming Massachusetts' popular opposition to the death penalty. Tsarnaev said nothing when the verdict was announced yesterday at about 3:30pm EDT. He sat in his chair and swallowed, and remained expressionless as U.S. District Judge George O'Toole thanked members of the jury, some of whom wept. After he is formally sentenced by O'Toole, Tsarnaev will likely end up at the U.S. Bureau of Prison's death row in Terra Haute, Indiana, where he is expected to embark on an appeals process that could last years before he is finally killed by lethal injection. At 21, he will become the youngest person on federal death row. But in the short term, the sentence closes a major chapter in Boston's recovery from the April 15, 2013 bombing, in which twin blasts rocked the race's crowded downtown finish line, killing three spectators, injuring more than 260 others, and inflicting a grievous psychological wound on one of America's oldest cities. The explosions, on a local holiday marking the opening battles of the Revolutionary War, were the worst act of terror on American soil since 9/11. Let's hope James Holmes also gets put on death row.

BB gone bye-bye

BB King, whose scorching guitar licks and heartfelt vocals made him the idol of generations of musicians and fans while earning him the nickname "King of the Blues," has died at the age of 89. Although he had continued to perform well into his 80s, the 15-time Grammy winner suffered from diabetes and had been in declining health during the past year. He collapsed during a concert in Chicago last October, later blaming dehydration and exhaustion. He had been in hospice care at his Las Vegas home. For most of a career spanning nearly 70 years, King was not only the undisputed king of the blues but a mentor to many a guitarist including Eric Clapton, Otis Rush, Buddy Guy, Jimi Hendrix, John Mayall, and Keith Richards. He recorded more than 50 albums and toured the world well into his 80s, often performing 250 or more concerts a year. Sadly, there'll be no more of that. RIP BB.

First deflated balls, now a deflated fine

One particularly intrepid Patriots fan has set up a GoFundMe page to pay the Patriots’ US$1 million fine for Deflategate. On the page, Patriots fan Michael J. Whitman (who is from Spokane, where the closest NFL team is the Seattle Seahawks) said he knows the $1 million goal will be difficult to reach: "We obviously know we won’t reach One Million Dollars, however we do believe the fine is bulls**t and want to help anyway we can. So whatever is donated will be donated to the New England Patriots in help with the fine! As we venture with this, we will do frequent updates to show progression of this! If enough is made to make the travel, we will fly down there (on our own expenses) and deliver a check in person!" Do they need an extra million? Not likely. In August 2014, Forbes valued the New England Patriots at $2.6 billion, ranked behind only the Dallas Cowboys in wealth. Team owner Robert Kraft has a net worth of $4.3 billion, according to Forbes, who also tallied up Brady’s salary over the course of his tenure as a Patriot and put it at $154,779,500 (and that’s not including bonuses or endorsement deals). And besides, the fans weren't the ones responsible for the deflated balls, and yet some of them have already donated to the "cause". Every cent being put towards a fine for cheating is a cent not going towards a more worthy cause like earthquake victims in Nepal.

Crammers to uncram their coffers

US mobile operators Sprint and Verizon will pay out a combined US$158m after the feds ruled that they allowed advertisers to tack unwanted premium charges onto customers' bills. According to the FCC, those scumbags looked the other way when dodgy companies signed customers up for services without warning them that would be billed recurring monthly charges. Under the terms of the deal, Sprint will pay $68m in fines, while Verizon will cough $90m. Those figures will include $50m and $70m in consumer refunds, respectively. The shady offerings – often advertised as offering horoscope readings or "life predictions" – hid the fact that they were subscription services that were billed as monthly recurring charges. A portion of the charges were kicked back to the telcos – 35 per cent in Sprint's case and 30 per cent for Verizon – which is why they are being held culpable. It serves them right, because consumers rightfully expect their monthly phone bills will reflect only those services that they've purchased. This settlement will put in place strong protections that will prevent consumers from being victimized by these kinds of practices in the future. How strong a message the current fines will send, however, is unclear. Verizon's $90m fine will hardly make a dent in its pocketbook, having reported a hefty $4.3bn in net income in its most recent financial quarter alone, so maybe the fine should've been something with a b in it. Verizon and Sprint are not the first to be fined for their cooperation with cramming outfits. The other two major telcos in the States were fined for this crap last year: T-Mobile was hit with $90m in fines in December for allowing the practice, and AT&T was fined $105m in October. SO DON'T DO IT.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Deflategate

Tom Brady has been suspended for four games and the New England Patriots fined a record-equalling US$1 million (the fine equals the largest ever dished out by the NFL since they went after San Francisco 49ers owner Ed DeBartolo Jr when he pleaded guilty for his role in a Louisiana gambling fiasco in 1999) as the NFL came down hard on its marquee player over the "deflategate" scandal. The National Football League not only suspended the two-time NFL MVP without pay but also stripped the Patriots of both their 2016 first-round draft pick and 2017 fourth-round draft pick for deflating footballs in a key AFC play-off contest. The idea is that a deflated and thus softer football is easier for a quarterback to handle and pass. The Patriots' chairman and chief executive, Robert Kraft, has called the investigation "one-sided" and said the punishment did not fit the crime. "Despite our conviction that there was no tampering with footballs, it was our intention to accept any discipline levied by the league. Today's punishment, however, far exceeded any reasonable expectation," said Kraft. "It was based on circumstantial rather than hard or conclusive evidence." Brady's agent, Don Yee, also slammed the suspension, describing it as "ridiculous". He said four-time Super Bowl winner Brady would exercise his right to launch an appeal to commissioner Roger Goodell within three days, and it would be in his best interests to do so because if his appeal is successful, he won't have to sit out four games in which he could prove crucial in the quest for one of the two spots going in Super Bowl 50.

So tonight they're still connecting like it's 1995

In an age where the average US broadband speed is 11.4 Mbps, some 2.1 million people in the country are still using the decades old AOL dial-up to connect to the Internet. AOL reported the mind puzzling number in its quarterly earnings last week. About 70 per cent of Americans use broadband that is 200 times faster than AOL's dial-up. However, it seems AOL loyalists prefer to experience the Web like it is 1995. Even smartphones are more than a hundred times faster than AOL's meager 56 Kbps speed, or the lack of it. A 56 Kbps modem connection means the pictures download top-to-bottom, just extremely slow. Given the present day bombardment of ads, software add-ons, GIFs, auto-play video content, and more interactive sites, it is indeed surprising to see AOL having such a fan following. When will they get with the programme? Not only is dial-up extremely slow, you can't use the phone and the Internet at the same time unless you have a second phone line, and only one person can be online at any one time, so drop your lousy dial-up connection and get broadband. It'll be with it.

Two new starters, two goals against the hosts

Manchester United bounced back from three consecutive defeats this morning as goals from Juan Mata and Marouane Fellaini secured a hard-fought victory over Crystal Palace at Selhurst Park, boosting the club's chances of securing Champions League qualification. The Reds were made to work hard for the three points, however, after Jason Puncheon scored a deflected equaliser at the start of the second half for the hosts. Thankfully, Louis van Gaal’s men held their nerve and secured an important win that puts pressure on fifth-placed Liverpool ahead of their trip to Chelsea at Stamford Bridge, and Chelsea better win so the Reds can be guaranteed a top-four finish and van Gaal's job will be secure going into next season. Van Gaal made two changes to his starting XI by bringing in Phil Jones and Luke Shaw for Paddy McNair and Robin van Persie. The latter was not even in the squad due to a virus, while Angel Di Maria also missed the game due to injury. The only yellow card of the game went to Ander Herrera.

This is what we call a Muppets comeback

The long wait for Muppets fans is over: ABC is bringing back the beloved puppets in a prime-time TV series this fall for the first time in nearly 20 years. News of the new show, called "The Muppets", dropped this week as TV networks begin calling producers, stars and studio executives in advance of next week's "upfronts" — the annual ritual where broadcasters roll out their fall schedules for advertisers to score advance sales. "The Muppets", which features the Disney-owned puppets from "The Muppet Show" and "Muppets Tonight" TV series, along with the movie franchises, was considered a shoo-in for pickup at Disney-owned ABC. The series will be filmed like a "mockumentary" — similar to "The Office" or "Modern Family" — showcasing the puppets' personal and romantic lives in a little more adult setting. This will obviously mean it's going to suck. Only Chris Lilley can pull the mockumentary off, my favourite one of his being Jonah from Tonga.

Last Windows

Microsoft Windows 10, which will be launched for PCs this summer, will be the Redmond-based tech firm's last Windows OS version, said Jerry Nixon, a Microsoft employee and developer evangelist, at the company's ongoing Ignite conference in Chicago. Reiterating the company's "Windows as a service" philosophy, Nixon said the firm is planning no new OS version launches in the future. "Right now we're releasing Windows 10, and because Windows 10 is the last version of Windows, we're all still working on Windows 10," he added. Nixon said Microsoft secretly made its base for Windows 10 when it launched Windows 8.1 last year, and that with Windows 10 it will be pushing out regular updates to the OS instead of introducing new versions. Explaining how it would work, Nixon gave the example of how OS components, such as the Start Menu and the built-in apps, will be bifurcated and updated independently. Alongside, Microsoft revealed that Patch Tuesdays will be abolished, and the update cycle will be moved to a 24/7 one. Users could either opt-in for slow rollout, meaning receiving updates in bundles, or a fast rollout, where they would receive updates as soon as they are released. Maybe that's something Apple could look into - maybe release a Mac OS XI and just keep putting out updates for that instead of putting out more Mac OS X versions.