We're now into day 50

And we're still here. Thanks for your support.

If you got a second burger by mistake, would you speak up?

I wouldn't because it's a second BBQ Bacon Double Cheeseburger. That means FOUR beef patties, FOUR slices of American cheese, SIX rashers of bacon, TWICE the BBQ sauce, and TWO sesame seed buns (and yes, there are now sesame seeds coming out my buns because I eat at Burger King nearly every day, ha ha very funny). Only a Hindu would turn that much beef down. I only ordered one burger today but got two instead. The guy at the counter had one burger in each of his hands and put both on my tray by mistake, which meant that I immediately picked up my tray and started finding a table before someone realises the mistake. In the words of Mr. T, I pity the fool that could lose his job or maybe just have the cost of the second burger docked from his pay just because he made the mistake of putting two burgers on the same tray instead of one burger on each of two adjacent trays.

Those braids are so overrated

This is a picture of former Ukrainian Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko. That braid is the stupidest hairstyle ever. It might be the fashion in the Ukraine, but there's no way I'm going for it here. Those braids are awful and they need to be scrapped. Tymoshenko needs to get a better hairstyle because the braid looks ugly and stupid. Seriously, if your wife was seen wearing that hairstyle, it would be grounds for immediate divorce and a claim against her for half her stuff.

DOTT SPECIAL REPORT: Second round results not in...

Two weeks ago, the people of Hungary voted to decide on the makeup of the Orszaggyules. Those in constituencies that didn't elect a representative that had more than 50% of the vote went back to the polls on Sunday (local time). Although the results of the second round aren't in yet, I can deduce from the first round results that MSZP won't be the governing party, and rightly so because they lied about their electoral promises in 2006. This sort of electoral fraud should have been confined to the pre-1989 Hungary, and the communist leaders should be lucky they weren't removed violently like Ceausescu was in neighbouring Romania.

Here's why I don't drink illegal liquor:

This is a bottle of a Ugandan liquor known as waragi. Waragi has just been responsible for a mass poisoning in Uganda, where adulteration with methanol (wood alcohol) has already killed at least 80 people over the last few days. The specific drink was not the bottle to the left, but an illegal home-made banana gin contaminated with methanol. The people responsible for making the gin in question should be locked up for life without parole.

Was at the Chinese Garden today...

It was a great place (or would have been had it not been for what looked like a pattern of swastikas under the edges of the roof of the covered walkway). Somebody needs to get a Karcher on that place because one day, a Jew might visit the place and be really offended by all the swastikas. If you thought the previous examples of swastikas were pretty bad, then you haven't been. This sort of hatred toward Jews is not necessary and should be stopped. Millions of Jews died under Hitler's regime, and I'd hate for a Jew to go to that place and faint after seeing the rows of swastikas.

RWC 2011 tickets almost on sale...

Tickets go on sale in 60 hours. Remember, you gotta be there!

WE'VE BEEN DISSEMINATING THE TRUTH FOR SIX WEEKS!

NOT 1320???

If anyone asked you how long the Rhine is, you'd say 1320 km, right? Wrong, as some guy from the University of Cologne named Bruno Kremer found earlier this year. The figure of 1320 turned out to be a typo from a German encyclopedia published in 1932 called Knaurs Lexicon. And yes, these findings have been checked and confirmed. So, when anyone asks how long the Rhine is, the correct response is 1230 km, not 1320. The extra 90 km was a typo. Remember that next time you're reading up on Germany.

That rubbish is so last year!

H1N1 is 2009's news. Last year's pandemic had everyone panicking but it's not 2009 anymore. We have a series of earthquakes and a volcano eruption to worry about now and not some stupid virus that causes "swine flu", but Otago Polytechnic still has this billboard up asking for their help to control the spread of a virus that has thankfully receded into the realm of last year's news, just like those Bom Chicka Wah Wah ads did in 2008. The hand sanitiser nearby can stay but the billboard can't because H1N1 is no longer such a big problem for the world anymore. If you want a bigger problem to replace it, the volcano that erupted in Iceland and resulted in the cancellation of several flights across Europe would fit the bill - and rightly so, because the ash cloud has already gone as far as Kazakhstan despite much of Iceland remaining unaffected.

This is the fortieth post

The new Macbook Pros are here!

I think I did the right thing putting off my switch from PC to Mac until later this year, because there are new MacBook Pro models that were released last week and are almost in New Zealand. The new model has an improved battery life over last year's model (8-10 hours over 7-8 hours), the graphics are better, and the processors are faster. If Steve Jobs thought the original Mac (released in 1984) was "insanely great", then he'd be reconsidering that statement after seeing the awesomeness of the new MacBook Pro line and its ability to one day Karcherize the competition and the Windows operating system that is near-universal among said competition.

One thing I find to be politically incorrect, however, is the use of the term "deeper blacks" when it comes to today's TV and computer displays (quote from a review of the new 15" model: "Still, colors were bright, blacks were deep and dark, and viewing angles were excellent both vertically and horizontally.") That could be taken as a reference to black people, and could cause offence among black people just like the swastika has the potential to cause offence and discomfort among Jews.

MORE swastikas?

The swastika problem in Dunedin is still there - the logo of the Centre City mall looks like a swastika. To the Jewish people, the swastika is a symbol of the oppression their people faced when Hitler was in power. Somebody needs to do something about this before a Jewish person walks past the entrance and gets offended by the logo's resemblance to a swastika.

Tapas aren't Scottish!

Look at this sign I found outside a bar on Lower Stuart Street. It says they're serving tapas despite the Scottish imagery implied by the photo. If those nutters want to get anywhere with their customers with the St Andrew's Cross, then they shouldn't be serving a "full tapas menu". Tapas aren't Scottish in origin, but rather Spanish. People may well start going if haggis, which is a Scottish dish, is served. The malt whiskies and the live Celtic music are a start, but they should either change the tapas menu to dishes associated with Scotland or drop it altogether.

Has anyone ever listened to that Rugby World Cup tune?

I think The Feelers did a pretty good job with covering Jesus Jones. Anyone who's complaining that the song picked was originally by a British band should remember that The Feelers are a Kiwi band. I know the choice of a British song might sound colonialist but if they'd gone with the likes of Loyal, many people outside of New Zealand won't know the song and the advertising campaign for RWC 2011 might fail because a Kiwi song that's practically unknown to people in, for example, Argentina was picked over a British song covered by a Kiwi band who I think did a pretty good job on their cover.

Another South Park gripe...

If you watch South Park, you'll know that Kyle Broflovski is the lone Jew among the boys. And in the Jewish religion, there is a set of dietary laws called Kashrut. One of those laws states that mammals cannot be eaten unless they have cloven hooves and can chew cud. Giraffe meat has recently been considered to fall within these guidelines, but there is a Bible verse specifically saying that pork cannot be eaten.

In this not-very-good photo from the episode "Starvin' Marvin", you can make out Kyle cutting a bit off a ham, which is a continuity error. Ham, just like any other pork product, is not kosher because Leviticus 11:3 states that "whatever parts the hoof and is cloven-footed and chews the cud, among the animals, you may eat" and Leviticus 11:7 states that "the pig, because it parts the hoof and is cloven-footed but does not chew the cud, is unclean to you." And to the right is his mother, Sheila, who isn't doing jack about it.

DOTT SPECIAL REPORT: Trouble no longer brewing in Hungary...

It's not often that I get involved in another nation's politics, but I have nothing better to write about today. The first round of the Hungarian elections concluded a couple of days ago (NZ time), and the ruling MSZP party lost to FIDESZ (logo pictured). In 2006, Prime Minister Ferenc Gyurcsany admitted that his party lied about the electoral promises that they made in order to win that year's election, and this caused over a month of protests. Lying about electoral promises is stupid and I think Hungary had seen enough of that crap during the communist era. The Hungarian people did the right thing this year in Karcherizing those losers representing the MSZP and driving the majority they had in 2006 out of the Orszaggyules (Hungarian Parliament) - so far, only 28 of the 265 seats allocated so far went to the MSZP, compared to FIDESZ's 206 (if you want to know where the other 31 went, 26 went to Jobbik and 5 to LMP). Seriously, if I were a Hungarian citizen and I knew that MSZP were lying about the promises they made, I would've voted for FIDESZ.

Jackass is so disgusting!

Today, I watched an episode of Jackass which was literally crap. In the episode I got this disgusting photo from, there were three stunts involving poo. The first of those involved one of the cast smearing their clothes with refried beans (hint: it looks like poo) and offering free hugs. The second involved one of the cast putting some dog poo in a newspaper, going into an Asian restaurant, ordering a vegetarian dish, putting the dog poo in the meal, and complaining that there's sausage in the meal. And the third one made like that song by Beyonce and found itself going to the left, to the left. It's not a good photo, but what happened was that they put some poo on the toilet seat, got the seat revolving, and smeared it on half the seat.

Why would people put such disgusting rubbish on the air? I don't mind poo but TV shouldn't have to be so disgusting when it comes to poo. That episode of Jackass was filthy as but I did like the stunt where they were trying to down as many hard-boiled eggs as they could in one hour.

Would you like vegies with that?

Burger King make some really good burgers, but they can be fattening too. I found on the British site that Burger King restaurants in the UK and Ireland are selling a burger called the XL Bacon Double Cheeseburger. It's like the BBQ Bacon Double Cheeseburger that is sold here in New Zealand, but it doesn't have BBQ sauce and it's designed to be just as big as the Whopper (hint: XL).

I hate vegies but it's just stupid that Burger King can get away with selling such tasty yet unhealthy burgers. There's 55 grams of fat (26 grams saturated) and 6 grams of sugar in the burger alone, and if you super-size your order, there'll be another 7 grams of fat (4 grams saturated) and 2 grams of sugar in the fries, and 95 grams of sugar in your Coke. That's a total of 62 grams of fat (30 grams saturated) and 103 grams of sugar. If a burger like that is introduced by Burger King in New Zealand, then I'll just stick to the regular BBQ Bacon Double Cheeseburger most days of the week.

Are they actually going to eat that ham?

I love South Park, but one thing I find weird is Mr. Hankey. He's a talking piece of poo that's associated with the holiday season, and he leaves little brown marks where he's been. In this scene from the 1999 Christmas special (Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics), he slid down a family's Christmas ham, leaving a brown mark where he went.

Personally, I wouldn't eat the brown bits because the poo is most likely to have E coli in it. There is no way in hell that I'd risk food poisoning by eating ham that Mr. Hankey, or any other poo, has been near, especially as the Rugby World Cup is next year, and we can't have South Africa cheating us out of the title again like they did in 1995.

Look at that Internet cafe's logo!

This sign is for an Internet cafe on Moray Place called PCNZ. The logo is meant to be a windmill in the same colours as the Windows logo, but if you just look at the outlines of the fan, it looks like two swastikas facing in different directions melded together.

This public display of objects that resemble swastikas could cause offence among Dunedin's relatively small Jewish community if someone doesn't take a stand against places like PCNZ. Someone needs to get a Karcher onto people that publicly display swastikas that are not used in Hindu religious context. The wanton use of swastikas is not on.

I just found the funniest song ever.

It's by a band called The Lonely Island and it's the funniest thing ever. The music video can be accessed on Youtube by clicking here. I can't make it through the whole song without laughing.

DOTT SPECIAL REPORT: My phone's here!

My phone is here, I promised you pics, and here they are. And no, I haven't removed those swastika-like stitches from my mattress yet.

DOTT SPECIAL REPORT: My new cellphone's almost here...

The new cellphone I bought off some guy on TradeMe is almost here. The cellphone looks like the iPhone I have now but it's even better because it has the following:

1. A second SIMcard slot so that I can put both my cellphone numbers in it.

2. A TV tuner and FM radio.

3. A QWERTY keyboard that can be accessed by sliding it out from the rest of the phone.

4. A microSD card slot that can take anything up to 16 GB.

5. A second camera at the front.

And all this for NZ$800 LESS than what I paid for my iPhone.

The photo is of the card I got in the mailbox saying that I wasn't up to sign for the package and that I can go to the address in South Dunedin provided to pick up the parcel, which I will be doing tomorrow. There will be pics of the actual phone up tomorrow night.

Who wears their kin on their skin?

Look at this sign. Why would anyone wear their kin on their skin? Hair and freckles are OK, but when it comes to your kin, you can't wear it on your skin. Your kin (family) is not something you'd wear on your skin. Neither is a tattoo - they're lamer than hell and they could get infected.

Whoever wears their kin on their skin has nothing better to do with their lives than wear their kin on their skin. If I had a choice between wearing my kin on my skin and having someone defecate in my cistern, then I'm taking the top off the cistern.

What was that word after "rock & roll"?

If you are offended by one of the tracks listed on this Patti Smith album, then you're not alone. I took this photo at a music store on Princes Street called Disk Den, and the track in question, known as "Rock & Roll N*****", features a nasty, vile, and just plain horrible word that's directed at black people. I do not condone the N-word and Disk Den should be ashamed of themselves for selling CD's which promote hatred towards other ethnicities. They should remove it from their shelves before someone else picks it up and starts getting all upset about the racial slur. We do not need that sort of language in our society and we should be respecting diversity instead of promoting words and language that cause offence towards other ethnic groups.

Not a very PC mattress is it?

If you look at the pattern of the stitching on my mattress, it looks like one of the most controversial and politically incorrect symbols known to our Western society: the swastika.

Despite the swastika pattern, I am not a Nazi sympathiser and I can't believe that the mattress I've been sleeping on for the last few years has such a controversial design stitched on it. Several Asian peoples won't see much problem with it, but for Westerners, it's a different story. During the 1930's, Hitler misappropriated what several religions based mostly in India consider a sacred symbol and now the swastika is associated with Nazi Germany and hatred towards Jews.

I honestly did not see that the stitch pattern formed swastikas until yesterday while I was making my bed and I am going to take the offending stitches out sometime soon.

Now it's both meaty AND vegetarian?

I'm not a vegetarian but I find it just plain stupid that a vegetarian pizza can be meaty like the one mentioned on this menu from a bar on Lower Stuart Street named Metro. The meatiest vegetarian anything has absolutely no meat anywhere near it, so Metro are just wasting their time.

And there's one more gripe: why is vegetarianism such a big deal? Everyone knows that vegetarians are complete douches who are missing out on the wonderful taste that only meat can offer you. If there is a god, then he (or she) created animals for one reason: for food. And that god would have commanded that mankind enjoy everything the planet has to offer.

Guilty by WHAT?

This pun is just stupid. I understand it's near the courthouse but there's just no excuse for a place being guilty by confection. The chocolate they sell rocks the hizzouse but the name has just got to go. There is no need to demonise chocolate because it's not illegal in New Zealand to eat chocolate and there is nothing in the Bible stating that thou shalt not eat chocolate. If you look in chapter 20 of Exodus, you'll find thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not commit adultery, and thou shalt not steal. But I can't find thou shalt not eat chocolate anywhere in any of the 66 books in the Bible.

While we're on the subject, read the text near the bottom. The only thing even close to decadence in the store is overpriced chocolate that rocks the hizzouse, and nothing in the history of crime has ever been "well worth the sentence" because crime doesn't pay.

What a week it's been!

I would like to take a break from all the rubbish that is standard fare on this blog and focus on several events that have been going on over the last week that nobody ever saw coming:

1. China have finally landed a man on the moon.
2. The drinking age in New Zealand has been lowered to 10 for wine and beer and 12 for spirits.
3. The age of criminal responsibility has been raised in the UK from 10 to 65.
4. Nelson Mandela died of heart failure last night.
5. Scientists have discovered a genetic defect in pigs which means the sufferer chews its cud. The first lot of pork from this "kosher pig" will be examined by a rabbinical council in New York in the coming weeks.
6. Also in New York, a dome whose purpose is to block out the sun during the summer months will begin construction in August of 2011.
7. Apple CEO Steve Jobs has announced that all of their computers starting in December 2012 will have Windows as the default operating system.
8. The Simpsons has been cancelled to make room on Fox's schedule for hour-long episodes of Family Guy.
9. Finland and Estonia will be swapping national anthems in June.
10. Pepsi have announced a merger with Coca-Cola.

See, folks? No matter what time of the year it is, life is full of surprises.