Marriage: now open to same-sex couples

The government's denial of all federal benefits to same-sex married couples is an irrational and unconstitutional act of discrimination, a federal judge ruled yesterday. This is a step toward a likely Supreme Court test of a law known as the Defense of Marriage Act. The Defense of Marriage Act is based on unfounded assumptions about marriage and the suitability of gays and lesbians as parents, and was enacted in 1996 by a Congress avid to show its disapproval of homosexuality, said U.S. District Judge Jeffrey White of San Francisco. The law needs to go because it treats homosexuals (known by some bellends as fags, queers, carpet-munchers, dykes, and lots of other hurtful names) differently on the basis of their sexual orientation without any legal basis. The imposition of subjective moral beliefs of a majority on a minority cannot provide a justification. That horrid piece of crap, signed by Bill Clinton, denies joint tax filing, Social Security survivors' benefits, immigration sponsorship, and hundreds of other federal marital rights to same-sex spouses. But now, the law can one day be removed from the books and consigned to the trash pile where it belongs.