Pay it forward - four digits forward

Today, a man reminded everyone of the kindness of strangers by gifting a struggling New York waitress with a US$3000 tip (proof pictured). Mike, who wished to remain anonymous, told ABC News in the US, “This woman had been serving us for almost a year now. She’s a lovely individual, and she talked about how she was served an eviction notice last month.” Mike was inspired by a Pay It Forward project called “ReesSpecht Life,” started by his eighth grade science teacher Rich Specht after Specht’s 22-month-old son died in a tragic drowning accident. “I just had also been constantly thinking about for quite some time my teacher’s project and this foundation, and I thought it was an appropriate time,” said Mike. In response, Specht said, “All we ever want is to make a difference in the world. My son only had 22 months and didn’t really have a chance, and that’s all I wanted for him: to know he inspired someone he never met to do something. I don’t know if there is a word that fits it because I can’t describe the feeling. It restores something that was missing." Mike’s generous donation certainly won't be taken for granted – the lucky waitress says she’ll continue to pay it forward in response. “She really needed (the money) and has been so happy since then, so I feel I did the right thing,” Mike said. “She said she was going to devote herself to the foundation and continue to pay it forward.” The chain will end one day - just like when that blogger Peter Schorsch ended such a chain at his local Starbucks last year.

Another reason not to get inked

Apple Watch users on various social media websites have reported that the device loses connection and shows inaccurate heart rate results if worn on tattooed wrists. And according to tests conducted by iMore, the Apple Watch can run into significant problems if worn by inked customers. The tests produced misleading heart rate measurements on solid black and red colours. Tattoos with lighter colours seemed to give Apple Watch less trouble, only leading to heart rate readings that were slightly off the mark. But dark or light, it is never a good idea to get a tattoo. Those things are a waste of money, could get infected, and one day, it will no longer look as cool as it did when you first got it. And if you regularly donate blood, you might not be able to do it for a while after each tattoo, and if you have a rare blood type, your selfish ink monstrosity could be an inconvenience for somebody who has that same blood type and might need to rely on you for a transfusion. SO DON'T DO IT.

WEEKLY GROSS-OUT: Team relocations

It sucks when your favourite local sports team has to move. Because of such a move in 1994, Los Angeles lost both of its NFL teams - the Raiders to Oakland and the Rams to St Louis. And another one in 2003 meant that Seattle lost its NBA team - the SuperSonics - to Oklahoma City (but they have a New Zealander on their roster, so they got that going for them which is nice). But the one remaining Southern California-based NFL team - the San Diego Chargers - could be moving to LA to fill in the gap which has lasted for 21 seasons, and it would hurt San Diego really bad because no bigger city in America has suffered a sadder sports history. This is a fact - of the nine most populous cities in the U.S, only San Diego has never has won a championship in the NFL, NBA, NHL, or Major League Baseball. Four different San Diego teams have tried. But only two are left - MLB's Padres and the NFL's Chargers. The latter are considering a move to Los Angeles County as soon as next year, adding more misfortune to the sunny city's long list of lost seasons, lost teams, and lost players. After so much sorrow, the larger question is why. Why would teams leave that paradise? And why can't they get the job done there in the end? Consider the cosmic cruelty involved with its poor past:

• No other city has seen two different NBA teams permanently ditch town for greener pastures. The Rockets left San Diego for Houston in 1971, and the Clippers left for LA in 1984.
• Only one of the city's major-college teams has ever won a national title: the San Diego State men's volleyball team in 1973. But the university eliminated the program in a cost-cutting move in 2000.
• Several Hall of Fame-caliber stars have suited up for San Diego pro teams, including quarterback Drew Brees, baseball manager Bruce Bochy, basketball center Bill Walton, and outfielder Dave Winfield. But each of those four endured more losses than wins during their time in San Diego. After moving to other teams, they also each won at least one Super Bowl, World Series, or NBA Finals. In Bochy's case, he's won three world championships in the past five seasons with the San Francisco Giants, all while still owning a home in San Diego County.
• In 1984, a local high school graduate at least made the city proud when he was named MVP of the World Series. But that player was Alan Trammell, a shortstop who was playing for the Detroit Tigers — against his hometown Padres. Trammell and the Tigers crushed the Padres in the latter's first World Series appearance, winning in five games.

So what's the deal there? Just don't call it a curse. It's more like a tradeoff. In exchange for being able to live and work in a warm and sunny coastal climate, San Diego residents are burdened with distractions that tend to prevent productivity. The beach, the mountains, and the desert can all be visited on the same 20-degree (Celsius, 68 Fahrenheit) afternoon in San Diego County. And there's also its close proximity to Mexico, where soccer is more popular. But there should be some big-league presence in San Diego, and if LA needs an NFL team, then maybe it is time for another expansion - maybe put a fifth team in each of the eight divisions and extend the regular season to 18 games (two games against each of the four other teams in its division, one game against each of the five teams in a division in its conference, and one game against each of the five teams in a division in the other conference).

Moyes' former club loses to Moyes' former club

Manchester United lost back-to-back games for the first time under Louis van Gaal this morning as Everton secured a 3-0 win at Goodison Park after goals from James McCarthy, John Stones, and Kevin Mirallas. The defeat leaves the Reds fourth in the Barclays Premier League table with four games left to play and little hope of taking back the title. They are 12 points behind the leaders and even if Man United win their next four games, Chelsea lose their next five, and Manchester City and Arsenal score less that ten points apiece from the rest of their games (both tied at 67 but City are ahead on goal difference), Manchester United's only hope of getting back the Premiership title is if Chelsea do something very wrong and suffer a points deduction as a result of said wrongdoing. Speaking of wrongdoing, two Reds players were booked.

The Visit visiting our screens soon

The trailer of Indian-origin filmmaker M Night Shyamalan's new horror film "The Visit" has landed online. The trailer has similarity with one of the classic Brothers Grimm tales, 'Hansel and Gretel'. But instead of dealing with a wicked witch in a gingerbread house, the kids are trapped in their own grandparents' house, reported Ace Showbiz. In the horror movie, a brother and sister are sent to their grandparents' remote Pennsylvania farm for a week-long trip. Once the children discover that the elderly couple is involved in something deeply disturbing, they see their chances of getting back home are growing smaller every day. The film opens on 9/11, but I'm more interested in finding out what the twist ending is.

Dubai will see Mr. Grey now

Last night, I mentioned that the two sequels to racy bondage flick Fifty Shades of Grey will be released just in time for Valentine’s Day in 2017 and 2018. Today, though, it has been announced that in the UAE, where the film did not get a cinematic release, viewers will be able to watch the film on OSN Box Office, a pay-per-view service, from May 1. Seriously, though, it will save you money and waiting around if you just download it via BitTorrent. There are several torrent sites each with several good movies and TV shows, with the latest episodes often popping up within minutes of its first airing. There are even complete runs of many older TV series that can be downloaded for free - it's much cheaper than buying the DVD. I used it when an episode of The Crazy Ones guest-starring Pam Dawber was on last April - I downloaded the episode (like I did with all the episodes as they aired) and watched it within hours of it first airing instead of waiting around until November for it to air in New Zealand.

Fifty more shades in two more years

The first film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey has taken in millions at the global box office – and even managed to please critics – so it's no surprise that Universal Pictures is banking on the next novels in EL James's trilogy to become future hits. The studio has announced that Fifty Shades Darker, the second film in the series, will be released on 10 February 2017, and Fifty Shades Freed, the final film in the trilogy, will appear on 9 February 2018. The dates have been chosen because of their closeness to Valentine's Day (the first film came out on February 12 or 13 depending on where you live). There are changes afoot for the new instalments in the series. British artist-turned-director Sam Taylor-Johnson, who directed the first film, has already said that she won't be returning to helm the sequels. There were reports that she clashed with the book's author, EL James, during production. A new director is yet to be hired, but I hope it's not David Moyes because he'd ruin the rest of the trilogy like he did Manchester United. However, Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan are set to reprise their roles as Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, though the pair are reportedly negotiating for more money after the huge financial success of the first film. Production is likely to start in the first quarter of 2016.

Happy 10th birthday YouTube!

On this day 10 years ago, the very first video was uploaded to a new little site named YouTube. The 19-second-long video taken by Jawed Karim rather anti-climatically shows him at San Diego Zoo's elephant enclosure. And that's about it. Here's the video:

Happy Earth Day!

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Beating your chest at a gorilla

A silverback gorilla gave a young girl the fright of her life during a visit to zoo in Nebraska. The girl can be seen beating her chest and laughing as she views the massive ape, but her amusement turned to terror when the animal suddenly charged at her. The gorilla struck the glass enclosure with enough force to crack it, but fortunately for the family it did not shatter. Male silverbacks weigh upwards of 150 kg, and the gorilla lunges with his full force before his momentum is halted by the glass. Here's the entire spectacle:

Brace yourselves - lawyers are coming

HBO has unleashed “A Song of Ice and Fire” on Brooklyn bar Videology, ordering the rental shop, screening room, and watering hole to stop its weekly “Game of Thrones” showings. The network sent “a very polite but official letter asking us to stop showing it,” Wendy Chamberlain, co-owner of the Williamsburg bar, told the Daily News yesterday. “We are fully aware it’s their content, so we’re complying with it,” she said, just hours before the second episode of the series fifth season was to air. Some disappointed patrons showed up an hour before the 9pm program to learn the next chapter in the bloody, sex-filled show with the catchphrase "Winter is Coming" would not be shown at the bar. Just as well I don't care for that crap.

Hazard is a hazard to golden run

Manchester United slipped this morning to an undeserved first Barclays Premier League defeat since February as Chelsea took another big stride towards the title through Eden Hazard’s 38th-minute goal. Wayne Rooney came within a whisker of opening the scoring early on and the Reds arguably dominated the possession and created the most chances at Stamford Bridge, but the visitors’ efforts went unrewarded as the Blues moved 10 points clear of Arsenal at the top of the table and also received all three yellow cards. This isn't good enough. The Reds were a point clear of second place, but it only takes 90 minutes to ruin it for everyone. Chelsea have a commanding lead, but the Reds can still come in from behind this late in the game. For that to happen, though, Louis van Gaal needs to stop playing like the Loser van Gaal from early in the season.

Furious 7 makes a furious profit fast

Furious 7 has crossed the billion-dollar mark at the international box office in just 17 days after its release, it has been revealed. The seventh installment in the action series hit theaters on April 1, opened in America on April 3, and has grossed US$265.35 million at the domestic box-office and an additional US$735.2 million in foreign ticket sales. Your move, Age of Ultron.

Beer and Jerry's

No, Ben & Jerry's isn't making a beer-flavored ice-cream. Or, for that matter, a marijuana-flavored ice cream. But it is taking some heat for plans to put its kid-friendly name - and image - on a craft beer. The Vermont-based ice-cream specialist, known for its often-wacky flavor combinations, has announced plans to create a craft beer dubbed Salted Caramel Brownie Brown Ale, in conjunction with Colorado-based New Belgium Brewing. The brew is tentatively scheduled to hit the market later this year, but the marketplace impact may be quite different than what Ben & Jerry's, which is owned by Unilever, intended. Although the move comes at a time when the craft beer market is exploding, there is parallel national movement to protect children from being marketed to - or influenced by - makers of adult-focused products like tobacco and alcoholic beverages. Some wonder if Ben & Jerry's, a progressive chain that has long stood up for important social and environmental issues, has crossed a line. They may well have done so.

Coffee: the final frontier

These are the voyages of the ISSpresso. Its mission: to explore the coffee preferences of many an astronaut, to seek out the coffee aficionados among the crew, to boldly serve coffee where nobody has served it before. With the launch of the Dragon cargo craft on Tuesday, it is expected to reach the International Space Station by tomorrow. The resupply cargo ship comes with a lot of things including the ISSpresso machine. The ISSpresso machine is expected to give astronauts a real coffee break once it hits the International Space Station. According to Italian astronaut Luca Parmitano, one of the things he missed on Earth during his stint at the space station was espresso. If he will be sent on a mission to the International Space Station, he might not say no anymore with the ISSpresso on board. It's only fitting because coffee is after all the finest organic suspension ever devised.

Never seen a vid like that

A young actor has posted a video online doing impressions of the late Robin Williams. Jamie Costa titled the video 'Never Had A Friend Like Him' and it has already gained more than a million hits on YouTube. In the video Costa chooses numerous films which featured Robin Williams. Costa has also done other impressions of Indiana Jones, Owen Wilson, and Matthew McConaughey, but those three are nowhere near as good as Robin Williams.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: The instability in iOS 8

Hands down, Apple has changed the way we listen to music. With the release of the revolutionary iPod in 2001, digital music downloads became the standard. Since then, Apple has continued to improve the overall experience for those using Apple music software. Our question now is, will the improvements continue with the release of iOS 8.4? The developer preview for iOS 8.4 is now available, which allows developers to start creating apps for iOS and OS X. Along with the developer options comes an updated Apple Music App. Some of the more notable improvements on the app include: an all-new design, the ability to add your own images to your playlists, and an all new MiniPlayer which allows you to control playback while browsing your music collection. If that does not excite you, fret not as there are some additional improvements (well, at least we hope they are improvements). One of these is the return of stability, which has been an issue of late on Apple’s latest iOS 8 operating system. Apple users can now rejoice, because according to a report from 9to5Mac, one of the primary focuses of iOS 9 is to bring back the stability of Apple’s operating system. In their report, they state, “one of iOS 9’s standout ‘features’ will be a directed focus on stabilizing and optimizing the operating system.” Interestingly enough, with such a focus on improving stability, they are referring to it as a standout feature; something that has never been done before. And they better do it because stability was once a staple of the iOS operating system. However, Apple has been taking drastic measure to bring many new marquee features and functionality to catch up with and gain advantage over their competitors. Unfortunately, such rapid development cycles has led to an increase in software flaws and instability. Hopefully this renewed focus on quality over quantity will help bring back an aspect of the operating system that we once loved, and even more importantly, save us from having to rely on Android.

Derby victory puts Reds one point behind Arsenal

United secured a 70th Manchester derby victory over rivals City with a superb 4-2 victory at a jubilant Old Trafford this morning that extends the Reds’ lead over the Blues to four points. It was another fine performance from Louis van Gaal’s men who responded brilliantly after going behind to an eighth-minute Sergio Aguero strike. Ashley Young levelled on 14 minutes before setting up Marouane Fellaini to head home. Juan Mata slotted home a third after the hour, before Chris Smalling completed United's scoring with a fourth soon after. Aguero pulled a consolation back near the end, but the game was already effectively over by that point and rightly so because this could well be Man United's year. Three City players received yellow cards, but what matters here is that the Reds are just one point behind Arsenal and if they keep it up after overtaking them, then they can still catch up to Chelsea, overtake them, and win the Premiership. It can be done.

Get into all the Ivies!

With no expectations, New York teenager Harold Ekeh applied to 13 colleges, hoping to "maybe" get into Stony Brook University, about an hour east of his home in Elmont, Long Island. Then, in recent weeks, the cascade of reply letters came pouring in: Harvard. Yes. Yale. Yes. Princeton. Yes. Not only did he get accepted to all of the schools he applied to, those include all eight Ivy League institutions. That's right, the straight-A student has accomplished the rare feat of getting into all of the nation's Ivies — crediting his parents' work ethic for setting an example and a desire to strive in his adopted homeland after emigrating from Nigeria 10 years ago. And Ekeh isn't the first person to be accepted by the entire League, for he joins another Long Island teenager — Kwasi Enin, the first-generation son of Ghanian immigrants — who also was accepted to all eight Ivies last year. Enin chose Yale, but as for where Ekeh's going to college, he isn't quite sure but he would like to stay close to family. "I'm leaning towards Columbia right now because I'd like to stay in New York City for I guess the rest of my career and work at Mt. Sinai," Ekeh said, adding that America has given his family a life they might never have had in Nigeria. Sure beats a career in advance-fee fraud, doesn't it?

Yet another different kid bullied to death

A 16-year-old transgender girl who spoke on YouTube about being bullied at school in Southern California has killed herself, a support group said, raising questions about what educators can and should do to support students who change gender identity. Taylor Alesana was constantly picked on by peers before taking her life last week, the North County LGBTQ Resource Center said. “With few adults to turn to, and with no support from her school, her life became too difficult,” the group said. “Taylor was a beautiful and courageous girl, and all she wanted was acceptance.” Alesana attended meetings at the center and was very supportive of others, said Max Disposti, the group’s executive director. She posted a series of online videos that included makeup tutorials and accounts of her struggles. In her first video posted in October, she said bullying began at a San Diego-area middle school when she disclosed that she was bisexual. Whoever tormented her, I hope you're happy. That's now one less person who can do any actual good for this world. Speaking of which, it's not too late for you bellends to turn it around. Click here and absorb the song's message.

Guess who's back, back again? MacBook's back, tell a friend!

Two years ago, I was looking forward to Psy's follow-up to Gangnam Style. One year ago, I was looking forward to Pam Dawber's guest appearance on The Crazy Ones. Right now, there is something for us to look forward to: Apple's upcoming ultra thin 12-inch MacBook with a Retina display, which has been overshadowed by all of the Apple Watch news that's been surfacing over the course of the last week. The super slim device is set to launch online and in-stores today, alongside the Apple Watch. Many of its reviewers so far loved the extremely thin size of the MacBook, its impressive Retina display, and its Force Touch Trackpad, but were unhappy with some of the compromises that are made with the machine - lack of ports (just one USB-C port and one headphone jack), the keyboard, the processing speed, and the high price. Almost all of the reviews pointed out some of the shortcomings in the Core M processor, noting that it's much slower than Apple's other notebook offerings and suitable for lighter use, much like a Chromebook. It was, however, able to run Photoshop and Logic Pro, just slower. Several of the reviewers disliked the new keyboard when first trying it due to its thin keys with little travel, but most were able to adjust to the different feel of typing on it after a short period of time. The increased size of the keys was also hard to adjust to for touch typists. Battery life in general ranged from seven hours up, but most of the reviews saw shorter battery life than the promised nine hours of web browsing. Overall, the consensus between reviewers seemed to be that while this is a great MacBook, it's not a solution for everyone and is going to appeal to a niche set of people due to its high price and the performance compromises. My advice would be to wait until a new MacBook Pro comes out. It might be able to fit more USB-C ports, maybe a traditional USB port or two, and/or possibly some of the other ports that graced the sides of previous MacBooks.

They know where the pirates live

An Australian court has ordered internet providers to hand over details of thousands of customers who illegally downloaded the film Dallas Buyers Club. In a landmark ruling, the owners of the rights to the film won a battle to access the contact details of 4,726 people who apparently shared the Oscar winning 2013 film, which starred Matthew McConaughey. Citing the need to deter future online pirates, the Federal Court ordered several internet providers to hand over details associated with Australian IP addresses, which Dallas Buyers Club LLC says were linked to illegal downloads via BitTorrent, a file sharing network. The firms subject to the order include iiNet, one of Australia's biggest internet providers. They had argued the case was frivolous because it would be "economically pointless" for the film producers to try to recover the value of each copy of the movie, worth about a few dollars apiece. The court rejected the argument, stating: "It is not beyond the realm of possibilities that damages of a sufficient size might be awarded, in an appropriately serious case, in a bid to deter people from the file sharing of films." That is just wrong. The rights holders now know where those people live, and could threaten the pirates and/or their families. And it has no effect on me because I live over the Tasman.

First Brazil, now the Black Sticks

Last year, Germany beat Brazil 7-1 to advance to the final of the World Cup. That scoreline was repeated again today, this time in women's field hockey. And again, the hosts lost. Seriously, what's next? The All Blacks losing the Bledisloe Cup, then the Rugby Championship, then the Rugby World Cup (not that anybody has ever successfully defended that)? But back to today's action: the women's Black Sticks have been crushed by Argentina 7-1 in their second Test in Gisborne today. The third world ranked side bounced back from yesterday's 1-nil loss to New Zealand in a rampant manner. Carla Rebecchi played a starring role up front, scoring four of her side's goals (the rest were scored by Delfina Merino, Martina Cavallero, and Gisele Yuarez) while the Kiwis could only muster one of their own through Kirsten Pearce. The Black Sticks now head south to Hastings tomorrow in preparation for the Hawke's Bay Cup which starts this weekend. New Zealand is joined by Argentina, Australia, China, USA, Korea, Japan, and India at the tournament, and they open their campaign against Japan on Saturday night. They better win this one and not choke at the end like the Black Caps did in Melbourne.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Being the Indian or Argentine field hockey teams right now

And that's because after the Black Caps lost the Cricket World Cup final and the All Whites a friendly against South Korea last week, things are looking up for New Zealand's bruised reputation in international sport. And that's because the Black Sticks have won - and I'm talking about both the men's and the women's field hockey (which sucks compared to the one on ice where they fight all the time) teams.

The men remain undefeated at the Sultan Azlan Shah Cup in Malaysia after a tight 2-1 win over India last night. After a goalless first half, captain Simon Child put the Kiwis on the scoreboard in the 38th minute after getting a feather touch on a hard shot at goal from Shay Neal. India responded with an equaliser just minutes later when Akashdeep Singh pounced on a penalty corner deflection to slip the ball through goalkeeper Devon Manchester's outstretched leg. But five minutes from fulltime, Andy Hayward delivered the winning blow with a powerful penalty corner flick into the left hand corner. Meanwhile, the women battled to a 1-0 victory against Argentina in Gisborne today. In a good old fashioned arm-wrestle, New Zealand were only able to break the deadlock in the 47th minute, when Olivia Merry deflected a crash ball from Petrea Webster (who was playing her 100th game for the Black Sticks) into the goal. The two meet again tomorrow, and I hope Argentina get a second helping of defeat.

My advice to both the countries we were up against is to just stick to cricket and soccer respectively. And even then, we'll find a way to beat them at those too.

Racing together at the Final Four

Wisconsin's Frank Kaminsky has brushed off the obscenity and racial slur that Kentucky guard Andrew Harrison directed at him during a postgame news conference at the Final Four. Harrison muttered 'F*** that n****' into a live microphone when another player was asked a question about Kaminsky after Kentucky lost 71-64 to the Badgers Saturday. The loss ruined the Wildcats' undefeated season; they finished 38-1. Harrison has since apologized for his comment. 'He reached out to me, we talked about it, [I'm] over it,' Kaminsky told reporters Saturday. 'Nothing needs to be made out of it.' I agree. As long as Harrison, who is black, was using it in its reclaimed sense, of course nothing more will need to be made out of it. But if Harrison were white, then he shouldn't have used that word, be it the one ending in -er or the one ending in -a.

Reds continue march back to the top

Manchester United claimed another important three points this morning in the race for the Barclays Premier League’s top four places, thanks to two goals from Ander Herrera and another from Wayne Rooney. Herrera put the Reds ahead two minutes before the break with a fine finish and Rooney fired in a superb second goal from Angel Di Maria’s cross. Christian Benteke instantly brought the visitors back into it, but Herrera sealed a fifth consecutive league victory for the Reds in injury time. Herrera’s first strike came at an important time for Louis van Gaal’s side, who had dominated in the Easter sunshine at Old Trafford but were in danger of being frustrated by Tim Sherwood's relegation-haunted side (Villa are 16th on the table and are just three points clear of the drop zone). Only one yellow card was shown, but what matters here is the three points that were earned at Old Trafford. Manchester United are now third, and provided Manchester City lose their upcoming game against Crystal Palace, it will stay that way.

40 years in, still not dead

On April 4th, 1975, Bill Gates and Paul Allen started a little company named Microsoft. You probably know the story from there: Gates went on to become the wealthiest man in the world, and then gradually pulled back from his company to focus on broad philanthropic efforts through the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. But Gates is far from finished at Microsoft; last year after Satya Nadella took over as CEO, Gates said he would be taking a bigger role at the company — using up to a third of his time to advise Microsoft employees on new products. Gates sent the following letter to Microsoft employees today to celebrate the company's 40th anniversary:

Tomorrow is a special day: Microsoft's 40th anniversary.

Early on, Paul Allen and I set the goal of a computer on every desk and in every home. It was a bold idea and a lot of people thought we were out of our minds to imagine it was possible. It is amazing to think about how far computing has come since then, and we can all be proud of the role Microsoft played in that revolution.

Today though, I am thinking much more about Microsoft's future than its past. I believe computing will evolve faster in the next 10 years than it ever has before. We already live in a multi-platform world, and computing will become even more pervasive. We are nearing the point where computers and robots will be able to see, move, and interact naturally, unlocking many new applications and empowering people even more.

Under Satya's leadership, Microsoft is better positioned than ever to lead these advances. We have the resources to drive and solve tough problems. We are engaged in every facet of modern computing and have the deepest commitment to research in the industry. In my role as technical advisor to Satya, I get to join product reviews and am impressed by the vision and talent I see. The result is evident in products like Cortana, Skype Translator, and HoloLens -- and those are just a few of the many innovations that are on the way.

In the coming years, Microsoft has the opportunity to reach even more people and organizations around the world. Technology is still out of reach for many people, because it is complex or expensive, or they simply do not have access. So I hope you will think about what you can do to make the power of technology accessible to everyone, to connect people to each other, and make personal computing available everywhere even as the very notion of what a PC delivers makes its way into all devices.

We have accomplished a lot together during our first 40 years and empowered countless businesses and people to realize their full potential. But what matters most now is what we do next. Thank you for helping make Microsoft a fantastic company now and for decades to come.

But who cares about that crap? Apple's where it's at for superior machines. If it's not an Apple, it's crapple.

Don't watch that show, that achy breaky show

CMT is joining the late-night fray and getting back into the scripted space. The Viacom-owned cable network has announced Thursday that it has ordered its first-ever nightly talk show, handing out a series pickup to The Josh Wolf Show, while also greenlighting four other new series including a scripted comedy starring Billy Ray Cyrus and unscripted series featuring Kellie Pickler and YouTube breakout Ed Bassmaster. Also returning to the country-themed network are new seasons of Party Down South and Party Down South 2 as well as Steve Austin's Broken Skull Challenge, all of which will join a lineup that will include American Speed: The True Story of NASCAR (narrated by Dale Earnhardt Jr.) and syndicated repeats of critical darling Friday Night Lights. Seriously, if you're into that crap, why? What do you see in that rubbish? The only one worth watching is the one with Billy Ray in it, and even then, it should only be watched to laugh at how stupid it is. His music is worse than a thousand Justin Biebers.

Ain't that a shot in the mug

Three Tennessee middle school students were suspended earlier this week after posting their teacher's mug shot on Instagram, prompting one mom to ask why an adult's legal troubles put her son in hot water. Shanna Richardson said her son, an eighth grade student at Highland Oaks Middle School in Memphis, was issued a three-day suspension with two other students for posting their teacher's mugshot to Instagram during class. The teacher, identified as Tiffany Jackson, was arrested earlier for driving with a suspended license. On Friday, a group of students posted the image and then Richardson's son re-posted it. It's public information, put it that way. You can see it on social media or you can see it in a magazine. Shelby County district officials, however, call the incident "inappropriate use of electronic media." The students were disciplined not for posting the photo but rather because they were using district computers to access inappropriate websites and content not related to the lessons that day. If that's the issue here, then why are students allowed to access "inappropriate" websites on district computers? Whoever is in charge of these computers should be fired, or at the very least disciplined, for letting the children access inappropriate content. Seems to me a much bigger offense than simply re-posting a public image of a criminal.

Kiwi sport continues its horrific downfall

The Bellend of the Month for March 2015 is the state of New Zealand teams in international sport. First, the Black Caps lost the Cricket World Cup final by seven wickets on Sunday. And just last night Korean time, the All Whites lost a match against South Korea (aka Korea Republic), final score was 1-0. If anything good comes out of this bad patch, it could be just the kick in the pants the All Blacks need to defend the Rugby World Cup later this year.

Now onto a more serious matter: we are already one quarter of the way into 2015, and there are still people who use floppy disks. When will you people get with the program? It’s called a flash drive and it can hold way more than just 1.44 megabytes – I have one that can fit 128 GB on it and is just over half as big as my thumb. For those of you that don’t have that luxury, here are some tips on how to keep your floppies floppying on long after you begin to rot in the cold hard ground:

1. Never leave floppies in the drive, as the data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Floppies should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.
2. Floppies should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles may be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the disk. Any stubborn metal shavings can be removed with scouring powder and steel wool. When waxing a diskette, make sure the surface is even. This will allow the diskette to spin faster, resulting in better access time.
3. Do not fold floppies unless they do not fit into the drive. Big (5.25”) floppies may be folded and used in little (3.5”) drives.
4. Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.
5. Floppies cannot be backed up by running them through a photo copy machine. If your data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert TWO floppies into your drive. Whenever you update a document, the data will be written onto both disks. A handy tip for more legible backup copies: Keep a container of iron filings at your desk. When you need to make two copies, sprinkle iron filings liberally between the floppies before inserting them into the drive.
6. Floppies should not be removed or inserted from the drive while the red light is on or flashing. Doing so could result in smeared or possibly unreadable text. Occasionally, the red light remains flashing in what is known as a "hung" or "hooked" state. If your system is hooking, you will probably need to insert a few coins before being allowed to access the slot.
7. If your diskette is full and needs more storage space, remove the disk from the drive and shake vigorously for two minutes. This will pack the data enough (data compression) to allow for more storage. Be sure to cover all openings with scotch tape to prevent loss of data.
8. Data access time may be greatly improved by cutting more holes in the diskette jacket. This will provide more simultaneous access points to the disk.
9. Floppies may be used as coasters for beverage glasses, provided that they are properly waxed beforehand. Be sure to wipe the floppies dry before using. (see item 2 above)
10. Never use scissors and glue to manually edit documents. The data is stored much too small for the naked eye, and you may end up with data from some other document stuck in the middle of your document. Razor blades and scotch tape may be used, however, provided the user is equipped with an electron microscope.
11. Periodically spray floppies with insecticide to prevent system bugs from spreading.
12. You can keep your data fresh by storing disks in the vegetable compartment of your refrigerator. Disks may be frozen, but remember to thaw them by microwaving or briefly immersing in boiling water.
13. Little floppies must be removed from their box prior to use. These containers are childproof to prevent tampering by unknowledgeable youngsters.
14. You can recover data from a damaged disk by using the DOS command FORMAT /U, or alternatively by scratching new sector marks on the disk with a nail file.
15. Floppies become "hard" with age. It's important to back up your "hard" disks before they become too brittle to use.
16. Make sure you label your data. Staples are a good way to permanently affix labels to your disks.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Mad Men

But, it's finally at its mad end, and you can toast said end with a selection of signature drinks from the series and its era (these recipes are from a non-metric source; for you metric people, multiply the number of ounces by 30 to get a near-equivalent in millilitres):

• Vodka gimlet: This is Betty’s signature drink and would most likely have been made with half vodka, half Rose’s West India Sweetened Lime Juice served over ice. When the Cuban missile crisis looms and there’s trouble in her marriage to Don, Betty orders a gimlet at a bar before engaging in a backroom tryst with a stranger.
• Dry martini: The show’s second season picked up in 1962, the year “Dr No” came out informing the world that James Bond drank a vodka — as opposed to the more traditional gin — martini that was shaken and not stirred. A traditional approach is 2 ounces vodka, ⅓ ounce dry vermouth, olive garnish. If you’re serving this over ice, it really doesn’t matter whether you shake or stir.
• Old fashioned: Back then this would have been made with a cheap, blended whisky, possibly Don’s favorite Canadian Club. Start with a sugar cube and a few drops of bitters and muddle in a cherry and orange wedge, adding the whiskey and possibly a lemon wedge garnish. These days, bartenders use a good bourbon or rye and add just a dash of sugar and bitters.
• Bloody mary: These are a leitmotif of “Mad Men,” sometimes served as a morning eye-opener and made by young Sally Draper for her parents, Don and Betty, in Season 2. Sally goes heavy on the vodka, but these drinks normally would have been made much as they are today. A simple approach is 1½ ounces vodka poured over ice in a tall glass, fill with tomato juice, add dashes of Worcestershire and Tabasco sauce, salt and pepper to taste, and a celery stick garnish.
• Bonus cocktail, the bull shot: This hasn’t been featured in the series, it’s the kind of off-menu drink that ad men would order in the ‘60s to boost their street cred. The recipe is simple — a couple ounces each of vodka and Campbell’s Beef Consomme, and a few shots of Tabasco and Worcestershire sauces, served on the rocks.
• And a recipe of mine, the Veintitres de Mayo (which I named after the date I first created it in 2013): 1 ounce each of Kahlua, galleano, amaretto, Bailey's, tequila, and Midori; serve neat and top with whipped cream. Just a word of warning, this one is about 25% ABV (50 proof) so be careful.

Aaaaaaand our golden run is over

Australia won the Cricket World Cup last night after beating New Zealand by 7 wickets. The Black Caps won the toss and batted first, scoring 183 all out. Australia scored 186 for 3 in their innings, denying the Black Caps the Cricket World Cup yet again. But at least they made it to the final, even if it was being played at a less advantageous ground this time round.

Heil Apple!

While the Android vs Apple conflict is one that deserves debate, it seems that one company went too far. Chinese tech firm Leshi TV (LeTV) has posted a print ad promoting its new smartphone that compares Apple to Adolf Hitler. The image was first discovered on LeTV founder Jia Yueting's Weibo page, according to The Verge. The text on the top of the poster compares the attributes of both Android and iOS, stating "Crowdsourced, freedom vs arrogance, tyranny". Below the text is a cartoon version of Hitler wearing a red armband with Apple's logo on it. "Under the arrogant regime of iOS domination that developers around the world love yet hate, we are always carefully asking, 'is this kind of innovation okay?'" Yueting wrote. He then went on to argue that Apple's lack of "freedom" will make it look like a "dusk" (dying) empire, and that Android is the way of the future. Wrong. Apple is the way of the future. Their stuff is better than the rest. If it's not an Apple, it's crapple.

GO BLACK CAPS!

Never have the Black Caps made it to the final of a Cricket World Cup, let alone win. And they worked hard to get there, winning eight consecutive matches in the process - the last of those being the most successful chase in an ODI (adjusted from 282 to 298 via Duckworth-Lewis) and the second-to-last featuring one of the best individual innings in an ODI (Martin Guptill 237 not out against the West Indies). I know the MCG isn't really the Black Caps' idea of a comfort zone (mainly because of its size), but they have won matches on that ground before, and I have faith that they will win another tomorrow. GO BLACK CAPS!

Guess who's back, back again? Coach is back, tell a friend!

You heard right - Craig T. Nelson is getting back in the coaching game for NBC. The network said that it has ordered 13 episodes of a sequel to the 1989-97 ABC sitcom that starred Nelson as Hayden Fox, head coach of a college football team. In the new series, nearly 20 years have passed and Fox has retired from coaching - that’s until he’s called in to serve as assistant coach to his grown son, the new head coach at an Ivy League school in Pennsylvania. Barry Kemp, who created the previous series, will write and serve as executive producer. Details on other casting for the sequel or an air date were not announced, but it'll be worth it when it does air. Let's hope NBC don't screw it up like ABC did in 1994 by using it as a lead-in for an actual football game.

Zayn and Jeremy shift to bottom gear

Well, it’s been quite an afternoon in the world of Celebville, hasn’t it? No sooner was it confirmed that Jeremy Clarkson would not be returning to ‘Top Gear’, than Zayn Malik caused a second wave of hysteria by announcing that he was quitting One Direction. After five years with the boyband, Zayn revealed on Wednesday afternoon that he was stepping down from the group, so he could try and live the life of a “normal 22-year-old”, while the band has confirmed it intends to carry on as a four-piece, without Zayn. It hasn’t escaped our attention that both announcements were made on the same afternoon, and there's now a vacancy on both 'Top Gear' and in One Direction which has got us thinking about whether some class of showbiz job-swap is about to go on right under our noses - but what's on my mind right now is who will be the Black Caps' first ever final opponents. Will it be Australia, who we already beat by 1 wicket earlier in the tournament? Or will it be India, who are also at the top of their pool's table? At time of writing, India have a target of 329 runs to chase and are almost an eighth of the way there.

Guess who's coming to their first ever Cricket World Cup final?

Regardless of the result, one team would be going to their first ever Cricket World Cup final. That team happened to be the Black Caps, who last night overcame a rain delay, loss of seven overs, and an increased target to beat South Africa by 4 wickets. Although South Africa were 281 for 5 in their innings, the Duckworth-Lewis rule came into play and the target was increased from 282 to 298 to account for the fact that the Proteas were playing like they had 50 overs and did not bat as aggressively as if they had known all along they only had 43. It was almost 11pm local time when the Black Caps made 299 for 6. Kinda makes up for the food poisoning incident at the Rugby World Cup final 20 years ago, doesn't it?

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: The 2D version

Seriously, don't bother. If you're going to see Insurgent, see it in 3D. Believe me, it is worth the extra few bucks.

Liverpool miss out on fourth place thanks to resurgent Reds outfit

Juan Mata’s brilliant brace handed Manchester United a key victory over Liverpool and a big boost in the race for the top four after this morning's action-packed encounter at Anfield that also saw Steven Gerrard sent off. Mata scored once in each half – his second a jaw-dropping acrobatic effort – to overshadow Daniel Sturridge’s second-half goal in a typically tense United-Liverpool encounter with Simon Mignolet even saving Wayne Rooney's stoppage-time penalty. Louis van Gaal and Brendan Rodgers both kept unchanged teams from their respective wins over Tottenham and Swansea, with Angel Di Maria, returning from suspension, and Gerrard, Liverpool’s outgoing captain, unable to force their way into the starting line-ups. That doesn't matter, nor does the four yellow cards. What matters here is the win. What would really matter is if Man United made it to the top of the table. It can still happen.

Boot Camp ditches 7

If you just bought a brand-new MacBook laptop, and you loathe everything about Windows 8 — but still need to run a Windows operating system on your MacBook for some reason — then we have a bit of bad news for you. According to the latest support page updates from Apple, owners of its newly refreshed MacBook Pro and Macbook Air laptops will be unable to run anything but Windows 8 via their laptops' Boot Camp feature. That means, of course, that you're stuck with Microsoft's divisive user interface for Windows 8 — that split between its touch-friendly, blocky Start Screen and the common Windows desktop you're probably used to by now. And if Windows 8 has drawn just too deep of a line in the sand for you to feel comfortable crossing, you'll just have to wait until Windows 10, which should hopefully work just fine on your new laptop's Boot Camp. But why would any self-respecting Mac user ever run something as horrible as Windows on their computer? If it's not Apple, it's crapple.

Guptill proves too windy for the Windies

Extraordinary. Amazing. Remarkable. A whole thesaurus of adjectives could be rolled out for what a full house of 30,000 witnessed this afternoon at Westpac Stadium in Wellington. New Zealand opener Martin Guptill blasted the second highest ODI innings of 237 not out, pummelling the West Indies bowlers into submission as the Black Caps racked up 393 for 6 batting first in the Cricket World Cup quarterfinal. The target proved insurmountable, as the West Indies only made 250 before losing their final wicket in the 31st over. Because of the 143-run margin, it will be us going to the semis and them going back to their respective islands.

23 flavours, 104 years

A woman who just turned 104 in the US has revealed her secret to having a long life, and it's not what you'd expect. Elizabeth Sullivan of Fort Worth, Texas, told KTVT that she regularly drinks Dr Pepper. That's right, Dr. Pepper. Strange, huh?

Stickers can't keep Austin racist

Stickers that said "exclusively for white people" appeared on the windows of businesses across East Austin yesterday, sparking condemnation and confusion as residents, activists, and at least one lawmaker wrestled with what the statements meant and who placed them there. "Maximum of 5 colored customers / colored BOH staff accepted," some of the stickers read, BOH referring to the "back of house" operations at a restaurant. They also featured a city of Austin logo and claimed to be "sponsored by the City of Austin Contemporary Partition and Restoration Program," though no such program exists. The city has said the use of its logo was unauthorized. City officials also said the businesses did not knowingly display the stickers, which were discovered by employees yesterday morning. No one had publicly claimed responsibility for them as of yesterday afternoon local time. Nevertheless, Rare Trends, a clothing store on East 12th Street that was among at least seven businesses targeted, received numerous angry phone calls and a visit from the Austin NAACP president over the sticker. Whoever's doing this, STOP IT. It's not funny, and it's giving people the wrong idea about the businesses being targeted. Don't put signs like that on people's doors just because you want to bring attention to your plight.

Another club bites the dust

Another club bites the dust
And another club comes and another club comes
And another club bites the dust
Hey - he's gonna get you too
Another club bites the dust

That's right, another soccer team is about to dance with the devil incarnate himself. West Ham’s decision to place ex-Everton scout Tony Henry in charge of their summer recruitment policy has increased speculation that David Moyes will be their new manager, according to the Daily Telegraph. The Hammers co-owners David Sullivan and David Gold have, significantly, opted to appoint Henry to lead their transfer plans instead of Sam Allardyce’s trusted scout Martin Glover. This is the biggest indication yet that Allardyce will not be landing a new deal and it would appear that Moyes is the prime candidate to take the reins. I wish those two would reconsider. He screwed up at Manchester United and he's not doing any better at Real Sociedad. If he takes the job at West Ham, the club runs the risk of being relegated within the next few years. There are much better candidates for the job, like Slaven Bilic, Marcelo Bielsa, Michael Laudrup, and Rafael Benitez. Out of those four, it should be Benitez that West Ham’s owners are trying to lure to the club. In 254 matches managing in the Premier League, the outgoing Napoli manager has a win percentage of 56 and can boast Champions League and FA Cup successes with Liverpool, adding a Europa League trophy to that during his short spell at Chelsea. And with the club set for the big stadium move in 2016, an exciting and high profile manager like Benitez would be just what they need to take them to the next level.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: The Great White Spot

To be honest, there are more black bits than white. But the real problem is the loser who uploaded that filth to 9GAG. Come on (sorry but the badly-timed pun). We don't need to see the dried remains of your pubescent secretions. And besides, there's already a Great White Spot in our solar system. It's on Saturn (the one with the rings).

Clean sheet + three points = successful day on the pitch

Manchester United bounced back from the FA Cup defeat to Arsenal with a one-sided win this morning over Tottenham Hotspur to stay on course for a top-four finish in the Barclays Premier League. The Reds were 3-0 up by half-time at Old Trafford after fine goals by Marouane Fellaini, Michael Carrick, and Wayne Rooney. And although there were no further strikes in the second half (but two yellow cards all up), Louis van Gaal’s men saw out the game comfortably to once again move a point behind third-placed Arsenal in the table. That's good to hear, but there's only nine games left until the end of the season and Man United still have a chance at winning the Premiership. But they need to win at least the next three games (and even more if they are to retain that lead) and hope the teams above them don't score too many points. It can be done. But the question is, will LVG be able to do what the incompetent Moyes couldn't?

USB to get USBetter

One of the most welcome changes in Apple's new 12-inch MacBook laptop may well be the one not mentioned by the tech darling. The new MacBook will finally allow MacBook battery packs and third-party chargers via its new USB-C port - such a change means freedom from Apple's proprietary MagSafe chargers. Earlier MacBooks (including mine) would not charge without the MagSafe chargers, and will sadly continue to need them. But for those upgrading, most accessories supporting the USB Type-C specifications should work with your new MacBook. Apple won’t be doing anything to block any specific types of accessories — in fact, it will even allow external batteries or other Macs to charge the new MacBook. Sources say that any battery solution that meets the USB Power Delivery specifications should work with the new MacBook, though the battery will need to push enough power to actually recharge a laptop - but don't worry if you don't have one, for Apple has its own 29W power adapter that will come with the new MacBook. And for those of you wondering, yes, the USB-C port on the new MacBook will replace all the other power and data ports in earlier MacBooks. But those with legacy equipment need not despair - MacBook users can connect a USB-C multiport adapter to handle whatever accessories they want, including 4k displays. And for those with USB-A equipment, it's just a matter of getting a USB-A to USB-C adapter.

happy30th.com

That's right, the first .com web domain is turning 30 tomorrow. Exactly 30 years ago tomorrow, on 15 March 1985, a computer company in Massachusetts registered the world’s first dot-com domain: Symbolics.com. And with that, the dot-com era officially began. By the end of 1985, Symbolics.com was still one of just a small number of registered domains. Today, of course, there are hundreds of millions of domains floating around the Internet. The domain system is a key foundation of the World Wide Web, which was born in 1991, at the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN). Sir Tim Berners-Lee was the father of that idea, but it wouldn’t have gone far without a universal address network like the domain system. Click here to see how it all started.

Time for the knockout stages

Third Yogi for 2015 goes to the people who helped with the arrest and conviction of Bassel Saad, a weekend soccer player whose punch killed referee John Bieniewicz during a game last summer at a park in Livonia, Michigan. The incident happened as Saad faced ejection. Bieniewicz died two days later. Saad pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter, which carries a maximum of 15 years in prison, although he'll be eligible for parole after serving a minimum sentence set by the judge. But those who helped serve justice on him are smarter than the average lawmen, for they stand to put one more crook behind bars.

Fourth and final Yogi goes to the Black Caps, who are smarter than the average cricket team, not to mention better at the game than anybody else. Over the last four weeks, they have delivered six consecutive victories, and they round off the group stages of the Cricket World Cup with a three-wicket defeat to Bangladesh, who proved to be quite a challenge, scoring 288 for 7. That makes them the only team not to be all out against the Black Caps, who scored 290 for 7 in their innings despite the odds seeming to be against them (required run rate hovered around 7 or 8 runs per over in the later stages) - it took several late boundaries to save them. Let's hope they keep it up in the knockout stages.

HAPPY FIFTH BIRTHDAY TO US!!!!!

Speaking of which, Tuesday was Chuck Norris's 75th birthday. Too bad we had to do that post about those racist frat chants. If you see any of the scumbags responsible for that crap, please hang them from a tree, preferably sooner rather than later.

Moyes's new club not safe from relegation

Around this time each year, we usually present three Yogi Awards for those deemed smarter than the average whatever over the past 12 months. But because tomorrow is our fifth anniversary, we will do it differently this year - present two Yogis today and two more on Friday. The first of today's Yogis will be going to the organisers of Leonard Nimoy's funeral. They were smarter than the average event planners as they had apparently kept the venue from the Westboro Baptist Church, who wanted to picket it for some reason. I don't know if that was deliberate, but if it was, thank you for letting Nimoy's friends and family grieve in peace. We do not need those bellends making the grieving process harder than it needs to be. Second is for the ownership of Manchester United, who back in April, were smarter than the average team owners when they decided that Moyes wasn't delivering and threw the hook on him. Whoever you are, thank you. LVG might not be at the top of the table right now, but he is still a better manager (Reds are in the top four now), and isn't firing blanks like Moyes continues to do at Real Sociedad, who are currently 11th place in La Liga and despite beating Espanyol 1-0 over the weekend, remain just six points clear of the bottom three.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Racist frat chants

Even with the national chapter shutting the Sigma Alpha Epsilon house at the University of Oklahoma, the school president said the university's affiliation with the fraternity is permanently done as a campus group called for the expulsion of fraternity members. The members had until midnight Central Daylight Time to get their things out of the house, university President David Boren said in a news conference yesterday afternoon. "The house will be closed, and as far as I'm concerned, they won't be back," he said, adding that the university is exploring what actions it can take against individual fraternity members. But what's the college's beef with SAE, I hear you ask? On Saturday, a video showing party-bound fraternity members on a bus chanting a racial epithet found its way anonymously to the school newspaper and a campus organization, which both promptly publicized the nine-second clip. The students on the bus clap and pump their fists as they boisterously chant, "There will never be a n***** SAE. You can hang him from a tree, but he can never sign with me." By Sunday night, SAE's national chapter had suspended the University of Oklahoma members and threatened lifelong suspensions for anyone responsible for the chant, but Boren took it a step further. First, he appeared at a campus rally and told students over a bullhorn, "I have a message for those who have misused their freedom of speech in this way. My message to them is: You're disgraceful. You have violated every principle that this university stands for." Whoever was involved in this crap, you are disgraceful and you're the ones who deserve to be hung from a tree. Stick to hazing like other fraternities.

The truth about MH370 is out

The first comprehensive report into the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 has revealed that the battery of the locator beacon for the plane's data recorder had expired more than a year before the jet vanished on March 8, 2014. The report came as Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott said the hunt for the plane would not end even if the scouring of the current search area off Australia's west coast comes up empty. Apart from the anomaly of the expired battery, the detailed report devoted pages after pages describing the complete normality of the flight, which disappeared while heading from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing, setting off aviation's biggest mystery. Families of the 239 people who were on board the plane marked the anniversary of the Boeing 777's disappearance, vowing to never give up on the desperate search for wreckage and answers to what happened to their loved ones. The mysterious circumstances of the plane's disappearance have in many ways overshadowed the grieving process for the families of the victims. The trauma has been compounded by government and corporate bureaucracy and floods of media coverage. Many of those directly impacted by the disappearance of the plane have formed a group called Voice370 to speak on behalf of the families. As a group they refuse to call the victims deceased and have continued to refer to them as "missing passengers." "Despite this complete lack of wreckage found or physical evidence of a catastrophic event, the Malaysian government has officially declared that the airplane crashed, leaving no survivors, and it has ended the rescue phase of the search effort," the group said in a statement issued to the press on Friday. "We do not accept this finding and we will not give up hope until we have definitive proof of what happened to MH370." Here's how I see it: it was sabotage. Somebody working for the airline probably had some grievance and armed with the knowledge of an expired battery in the locator beacon, claimed to have replaced it and from there, it was just a matter of planning for the plane's eventual demise. Unless, of course, ISIS had something to do with it.

It's getting hot in here, 'cos the Black Caps won again

If one thing is clear from today's Cricket World Cup action, it's that America isn't the only nation that's been kicking Afghan butt recently. And to that end, Afghanistan were next in line for a sound defeat at the hands of the Black Caps machine. Despite the relatively high target of 187 runs set after a very good innings from Afghanistan, who made 186 all out during their turn at bat and really made us work for those ten wickets (last wicket didn't fall until the 48th over) and our overall victory, the Black Caps had no problem taking on the target, reaching a final score of 188 for 4. Our last opponents before the knockout stages are Bangladesh, and I'm considering putting some serious money on them getting what's coming to them.

We're five days short of five years

But right now, it's the 25th birthday of conjoined twins Abigail and Brittany Hensel. And Jada Pinkett Smith has announced that she is leaving “Gotham” after its first season. Smith appeared at “Live With Kelly and Michael” and said she won’t be back for the television series’ season two. The actress explained that she signed for a year and she doesn’t think she would be back in Season 2 to reprise her role as the hotheaded nightclub owner. Will Smith’s wife however hinted that there are lots of things coming ahead on Fox superhero drama ‘Gotham.’ For instance, Smith said that her character, gangster Fish Mooney, still has a finale to go after a previous episode where she actually cut her own eye out. Even if Jada is leaving “Gotham,” the show itself, which chronicles the Batman origin story through the eyes of a young Jim Gordon, will be back for Season 2 after earning a full-season revewal in January. But thankfully Two and a Half Men won't be joining it.

Indiana Jones and the Crashed War Plane

Harrison Ford was injured yesterday when his vintage airplane experienced engine trouble and crash-landed on a Venice golf course — an accident that could well spur efforts to close Santa Monica Airport. Ford, an experienced pilot and owner of several aircraft, plowed the yellow-and-silver plane into a fairway at Penmar golf course about 2:25 p.m. Pacific Time, shortly after takeoff. According to air traffic control recordings, he reported an engine failure to the Santa Monica tower and had been cleared to return. Authorities said Ford managed to fly over Penmar, which is on the airport's departure route and provides a swath of open space for pilots to use in emergencies. He was flying solo in a restored Ryan PT-22 Recruit, a sleek two-place monoplane built during World War II to train Army Air Forces pilots. Federal Aviation Administration records show the plane is registered to MG Aviation Inc., a Delaware company. Los Angeles firefighters said Ford, best known for his roles as Han Solo in "Star Wars" and the title character in "Indiana Jones", was conscious when they arrived. He was outside the plane being tended by several bystanders. Paramedics treated Ford at the scene and he remained hospitalized Thursday night. At an afternoon news conference, Assistant Fire Chief Patrick Butler said Ford was alert and had suffered moderate trauma. He is expected to make a full recovery, but shortly after the accident, anti-airport activists and Los Angeles City Councilman Mike Bonin, whose Westside district borders Santa Monica Airport, reiterated their positions that the embattled facility should be shut down. They contend that the airport is unsafe, and that surrounding neighborhoods are affected by noise and air pollution from flight operations. City officials have tried repeatedly to close the facility and to ban certain types of jets, but they have lost in court battles with the FAA. "Really, for me, the first concern has always been the fear of a plane falling out of the sky and landing in someone's home," Bonin said. "That has happened in the past." And those are all problems that could affect any airport - that's why many are situated either away from existing urban areas or on islands or reclaimed land situated just off the shore. It's also why flight paths are kept away from built-up areas. But our real concern here should be for Harrison Ford.

Now let's take our minds off what has been a rough week for the Star Trek community, for Manchester United landed a dramatic victory against Newcastle United yesterday morning thanks to Ashley Young's 89th-minute winner to crucially maintain a position in the Barclays Premier League top four. The Reds had plenty of chances to win the game at St James' Park before Young struck a minute from time, but found Newcastle United goalkeeper Tim Krul, a key member of Louis van Gaal’s Netherlands World Cup squad, in top form. His opposite number David De Gea was also forced into a handful of good saves, none more so than an injury-time block from Papiss Cisse, but the collection of three points could prove huge for United on a night when their fellow top-four rivals all won. Three players were yellow-carded.

Feds about to take on Ferguson

A federal investigation into the police killing of an unarmed, black 18-year-old in Ferguson, Missouri, lays bare what officials contend are racist, profit-driven law enforcement practices in the small St. Louis suburb. While the Department of Justice cleared Officer Darren Wilson of federal civil rights charges in the August death of Michael Brown, it also called for sweeping changes in a city where officers trade racist emails, issue tickets mostly to black drivers that generate millions of dollars in revenue, and routinely use what investigators called excessive force on people stopped for minor or non-existent offenses. Attorney General Eric Holder said that the department "found a community that was deeply polarized; a community where deep distrust and hostility often characterized interactions between police and area residents." Seriously, people, this has to stop. Ferguson must do better not only as a city, but as a state and a country. To that end, there are already signs of improvement. The city, for example, no longer issues failure-to-appear warrants, has eliminated a fee for towing cars, and rescinded warrants for nearly 600 defendants. But more needs to be done, for example, what about having more blacks on the force?

Royal wannabes get royal walloping in court

Australia's High Court has upheld a ruling that a radio station broke the law by airing a hoax call to a hospital which was treating the Duchess of Cambridge for morning sickness. DJs Mel Greig and Michael Christian made international headlines in 2012 when a nurse who fell for their prank later killed herself. The High Court overturned a previous decision which cleared 2Day FM. The station could now be fined or see its licence suspended or revoked. 2Day FM said today's decision "means that there is a serious defect in Australian broadcasting law". Of course there is a defect, the defect being that those two losers were even allowed on the air in the first place. It was bad enough they passed themselves off as the Queen and Prince Philip and caused the nurse who answered the call to kill herself, but the real legal problem is that the station broke the law by not obtaining consent to air the call from either of the hospital staff featured, but then again if they had, it would've meant blowing their cover before the call even made it to air.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Losing it over a cake

A Napier woman who baked an offensive cake about her former employers has been awarded more than $168,000 in damages following a Facebook breach of privacy and "loss of dignity". During a Human Rights Tribunal hearing last December, former NZ Credit Union Baywide (NZCU) employee Karen Hammond claimed her former bosses breached her privacy when NZCU took a screenshot of the offending cake from her Facebook page and distributed it to recruitment agencies. Ms Hammond left the company in March 2012 and five days later baked the frosty dessert for her workmate, whom she believed had been constructively fired from the company. The fruit and chocolate chunk cake, with "Credit Union Baywide f*** you" and "c***s" in pink icing, was taken to a dinner party of ten friends and an image uploaded to social media. Once NZCU executives obtained a copy of the photo it was distributed to recruitment agencies and Miss Hammond's new employer, Financepoint, with a request she be sacked. Ms Hammond, who represented herself during the hearing, was today awarded $168,070.88 in damages following the release of chairman Roger Haines and tribunal members Wendy Gilchrist and Brian Neeson's decision today. The award is broken down as follows:

• $98,000 for humiliation, loss of dignity, and injury to feelings;
• $38,350 for lost income, this being a pecuniary loss suffered as a result of the interference;
• $15,543.10 for pecuniary loss in the form of legal expenses; and
• $16,177.78 for the loss of a benefit Ms Hammond might reasonably have expected to obtain.

In addition to this staggering financial penalty, the following orders were made:

• Baywide is restrained from continuing or repeating the interference, or from engaging in, or causing or permitting others to engage in, conduct of the same kind.
• Baywide is to send a retraction of an April 12, 2012 email warning about Ms Hammond along with a copy of the decision to Red Consulting Group, Able Personnel, Adecco, and Grow HR.
• Baywide is to request that the email sent by Baywide human resource manger Louise Alexandra and any screenshot of the cake sent by her and any copy be deleted. A report is also to be provided to the Tribunal and to Ms Hammond detailing the steps taken in compliance with this order and the responses received by NZCU Baywide.
• Baywide CEO Gavin Earle is to forward to all members of staff a retraction of his April 13, 2012 email about the dispute along with an apology to Ms Hammond.
• Baywide, in conjunction with the Privacy Commissioner and at its own expense, will also provide training to its management staff in relation to their and the company's obligations under the Privacy Act 1993 in order to ensure they are aware of these obligations.

Although NZCU Baywide were clearly in the wrong here for getting all bent out of shape over a cake, this could also serve as a warning to all to be careful about what you post on social media.

Try solving this

LVG, you've done it again

The Bellend of the Month for February 2015 is Joseph Jesse Aldridge, who killed seven people and then took his own life in a house-to-house shooting rampage in Tyrone, a tiny town in the Missouri Ozarks. Aldridge killed his victims with a .45-calibre handgun on Friday at four homes in the community of about 50 people, many of whom are related to each other, and was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound before dawn in a running pickup on the highway about 30km away. But enough about that because Wayne Rooney’s second-half double this morning was enough to give Manchester United victory over a stubborn Sunderland side, who had ex-Red Wes Brown sent off in a case of mistaken identity. The Reds captain fired home a penalty in the 66th minute at Old Trafford after Radamel Falcao had been brought down in the box by John O’Shea when poised to pull the trigger. Referee Roger East showed a red card to Brown, despite the protests of his fellow former Reds stalwart O’Shea. The other cards were two yellows, but what matters here is the win.

Another win for the Black Caps is highly logical

But now for something highly illogical: Long before being nerdy was cool, there was Leonard Nimoy. Nimoy, best known for playing Spock on the television show Star Trek and its movies, passed away in his home at the age of 83. The cause of his death was end-stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, which the actor confirmed he had last year. Nimoy was born in 1931 in Boston. His parents were Jewish immigrants from the Soviet Union in an area that is now part of Ukraine. He acted in several amateur productions as a child and then began his movie and TV acting career in 1951. In 1952, he played the title role in the boxing movie Kid Monk Baroni. Although his acting was praised, the movie was a flop, and Nimoy spent over a decade playing largely bit parts in both TV and movies, including roles in Dragnet, Perry Mason, and The Twilight Zone. In 1965, Nimoy passed on a role in Peyton Place to take a part in Gene Roddenberry’s TV show Star Trek – and the rest was history. Unique among most TV shows, Star Trek actually had two pilots. NBC liked aspects of the first pilot, “The Cage” but had some issues and asked Roddenberry to shoot a second pilot. Mr. Nimoy’s Spock, half-human, half-Vulcan, was the only character to appear in both pilots. Nimoy’s Spock became a cultural phenomenon. Characterized by an emotionless devotion to the Vulcan ethos of logic, Spock was an inspiration to a generation of fans and became well known to the public at large. Nimoy had a large part in shaping the character into someone who was non-violent (Nimoy developed the Vulcan nerve pinch as an alternative to punching), ethical, intellectual, and compassionate. Nimoy and the character came back in the Star Trek animated series, six Star Trek movies, two episodes of The Next Generation, and as Spock Prime in the two rebooted Star Trek movies directed by J.J. Abrams. Nimoy continued acting after Star Trek with a starring role in Mission: Impossible and a number of smaller parts (including one of the best murderers on Peter Falk’s Columbo series). He also directed several movies, including two Star Trek films and Three Men And A Baby. He was also a prolific writer of poetry and a photographer, and published several works of each. Mr. Nimoy is survived by his wife, Susan Bay Nimoy (cousin of Transformers director Michael Bay); his children, Adam and Julie Nimoy; his grandchildren; and legions of fans. But cricket fans rejoice because after a tense last few overs with several late wickets, the Black Caps have just beaten Australia by 1 wicket. Australia batted first and made 151 all out. New Zealand scored 152 for 9, with Kane Williamson hitting the game-winning six. May this hot streak live long and prosper at least until the end of the tournament.

FCC 1, big cable 0

Silicon Valley tech firms lauded the Federal Communications Commission’s decision yesterday to preserve equal access online, while cable companies that stood to profit from a cloistered Internet warned that regulating the Web like a utility will lead to higher prices. The commission’s 3-2 vote codifies the concept of net neutrality by barring Internet service providers such as Comcast, Verizon, and AT&T from charging for access to an online fast lane, slowing loading times for certain sites, or blocking any site so long as its content is legal. The rules “ensure that every American — no matter the size of their wallets or the color of their skin — has an equal chance to innovate and reach people online,” said Barbara van Schewick, a professor of law at Stanford University and director of the school’s Center for Internet and Society. But it's not going to happen just yet. The ruling probably won’t go into effect for several months as the formal language is being crafted. But when it does, it should mean a faster and cheaper Internet for all of America - unless, of course, the cable companies pay off the FCC to get a version which better fits their agenda.

The biggest jukebox in the cloud just got bigger

Are you a music buff? Google's recent announcement should sound music to your ears. The search giant has bumped up its music storage limit for Google Play Music users by 30,000, effective immediately. The users will now be able to store up to 50,000 of their personal favorite songs on Google's cloud music storage for free, sharply up from the previous limit of 20,000 songs. Google Play is entirely cloud-based so all your music, movies, books, and apps are stored online, always available to you, and you never have to worry about losing them or moving them again (unless, of course, you do have 20,000 50,000 songs already). In a post on its official blog, the company wrote that the songs can be uploaded directly from the user's iTunes collection or from other local music folders. It can then be streamed or downloaded and played on the web itself, desktop computers, or Chromecast as well as smartphones or tablets running Android or iOS. This is a big boost for music lovers but spells out a threat to its music streaming competitors. For instance, Apple allows its users to upload only half the number of songs on the cloud with iTunes Match, but at an annual fee of US$24.99. So who has more value for money on this one? Google. But when it comes to your next computer or smartphone, just remember if it's not an Apple, it's crapple.

Brown to run it back to the States

Singer Chris Brown's "Between the Sheets" tour apparently won't be stopping in Canada this week after all: He said he had been barred from entering the country. Yesterday afternoon, Brown wrote on Twitter: “Unfortunately I will not be able to perform in front of sold out crowds in Montreal & Toronto.” He followed that up by tweeting: “The good people of the Canadian government wouldn’t allow me entry. I’ll be back this summer and will hopefully see all my Canadian fans!” Brown’s publicist confirmed to the Los Angeles Times that the singer was denied entry into Canada, but offered no additional information. Several factors are used in determining admissibility into Canada, including involvement in criminal activity, human rights violations, or organized crime; and security, health, or financial reasons. I can shed some light on this issue: the Grammy-winning singer has had numerous run-ins with the law, the latest occurring in January when a judge revoked his probation after learning that he had violated orders by leaving Los Angeles County and was present at a nightclub when people were shot. The singer has spent several months in jail for prior violations relating to his conviction for a 2009 assault on then-girlfriend Rihanna. It serves him right. If he hadn't beaten up on Rihanna, he wouldn't have had any probation to violate and he might have been allowed to perform in Canada. But now, because of his criminal past, those that bought tickets now have to seek refunds.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Threatening shopping malls

The NYPD is on alert following a threat against the United States purportedly by Somalia’s al-Qaida-linked rebel group al-Shabab. A video released over the weekend urged Muslims to attack shopping malls in the U.S., Canada, Britain, and other Western countries. The threat came in the final minutes of a more than hour-long video in which the extremists also warned Kenya of more attacks like the September 2013 assault on the Westgate Mall in Nairobi in which 67 people were killed. The masked narrator concluded by calling on Muslims to attack shopping malls, specifically naming the Mall of America in suburban Minneapolis, as well as the West Edmonton Mall in Canada and the Westfield mall in Stratford, England. It's not going to stop the capitalist machine, though. The threats towards The Interview weren't enough to completely stop its release. Charlie Hebdo bounced back from the shootings last month. Likewise, threatening shopping malls won't keep us away.

Nananananananana, nananananananana, Birdman!

For the third time in four years, Hollywood’s top honor went to a story mostly about itself: “Birdman” won best picture at the 87th Academy Awards on Sunday night. Despite relatively meager domestic ticket sales of $37.8 million, “Birdman” had been the favorite to win best picture, having swept the top prize at banquet after banquet leading up to the Oscars. Minutes before, Alejandro G. Iñárritu had won best director for “Birdman,” which also collected Oscars for best original screenplay and the cinematography of Emmanuel Lubezki. “Tonight I am wearing the real Michael Keaton tighty whities,” Mr. Iñárritu said, a joke about the long Broadway walk Mr. Keaton, the star, takes in his skivvies during the film. “Birdman,” about a washed-up actor’s comeback bid, followed two other Hollywood-related winners: “The Artist,” which won in 2012, was the bittersweet story of a silent film actor seemingly left behind by Hollywood’s transition to sound. The next year, “Argo” won with its reality-based tale of a hostage rescue that used a fake film for cover. Still, no one film this year achieved critical mass in a year that saw all eight of the best picture nominees leave with at least one Oscar.

Careless loss costs the Reds third place

Manchester United slipped to a 2-1 defeat to Swansea City this morning after briefly going ahead at the Liberty Stadium. Ander Herrera finished off a fine move to give the Reds the lead in the first half, but United were in front for less than two minutes when Ki Sung-Yueng slipped through the defence to level the scores. After the break, Bafetimbi Gomis diverted a rasping Jonjo Shelvey shot with his head for a goal that ultimately condemned Louis van Gaal's men to a first defeat on the road since November’s Manchester derby. Not only did the Reds lose and six players receive yellow cards, Man United are down to fourth place and will need to win at least five games to have any chance at the Premiership.

Busch gets tagged with Rice

Only moments after NASCAR suspended 2004 Sprint Cup champion Kurt Busch in the wake of a Delaware court’s ruling on a domestic violence incident with his ex-girlfriend, someone left the driver a message on the window of his garage (pictured). The inscription reads ‘Ray Rice’ which is a reference to the former running back of the Baltimore Ravens who was suspended indefinitely by the NFL last year after punching his then-fiancee and knocking her out in the elevator of an Atlantic City casino. Kent County Family Court commissioner David Jones wrote that Busch was found to have “more likely than not committed an act of domestic violence.” NASCAR said in a statement released yesterday afternoon that it suspended Busch “for actions detrimental to stock car racing.” I'm sure Busch got what was coming to him, just like in a scene in Wild. In that scene, Reese Witherspoon was bunking with three other hikers. One of them was singing the chorus to the 4 Non Blondes song What's Up? when another one of them asked him to stop, so he did, and then he yelled out the next line only to get chased into a tree. That bit was funny, but whether it's being a prick or beating up on your woman, DON'T DO IT. It's not worth it.

Another win for the Black Caps

The British media has been quick to put the boot into England's cricket team after their humiliating eight-wicket loss to New Zealand in Wellington today. They were 123 all out in part due to Tim Southee's remarkable seven-wicket haul before a Brendon McCullum onslaught helped the Black Caps to victory (final score 125 for 2) in little over 12 overs. The performance has been labelled one of the worst days in English cricket, but it's the last game of three that comprise one of the best weeks in New Zealand cricket. The Black Caps might win the World Cup this year if they keep it up (and that includes beating Australia).

The Teaspoon of Knowledge

Even though it’s looking increasingly likely that humanity will find a way to wipe itself off the face of the Earth, there’s a chance that our creative output may live on. Servers, hard drives, flash drives, and disks will degrade (as will our libraries of paper books, of course), but a group of researchers at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology have found a way to encode data onto DNA — the very same stuff that all living beings’ genetic information is stored on — that could survive for millennia. One gram of DNA can potentially hold up to 455 exabytes of data, according to the New Scientist. But what is an exabyte? It's a huge measure of data. And how huge is it? There are one billion gigabytes in an exabyte, and 1,000 exabytes in a zettabyte. The cloud computing company EMC estimated that there were 1.8 zettabytes of data in the world in 2011, which means we would need only about 4 grams (about a teaspoon) of DNA to hold everything from Plato through the complete works of Shakespeare to Beyonce’s latest album (not to mention every brunch photo ever posted on Instagram). But the estimate was four years ago, and there could've been much more data even then, so I'd suggest they set aside at least a few ounces just to be on the safe side. The question now is, how are they going to get it all on there? There are four types of molecules that make up DNA, which form pairs. To encode information on DNA, scientists program the pairs into 1s and 0s — the same binary language that encodes digital data. This is not a new concept (scientists at Harvard encoded a book onto DNA in 2012) but up to now, it had been difficult to retrieve the information stored on the DNA.

Now he has been arrested and we know why

Because he got high, because he got high, because he got high. Actually, no he didn't. It was an alleged assault. That's right, Afroman was arrested yesterday after he allegedly punched a female fan who got on stage during a performance in Biloxi, Mississippi. The 40-year-old Because I Got High singer was playing guitar when the woman approached him from behind and appeared to try and dance against him, according to an article by TMZ that included a video of the incident. The rapper, real name Joseph Edgar Foreman, appeared to suddenly unleash a right-handed haymaker that knocked the woman off her feet. The woman fell hard after the blow and reportedly was bleeding and crying. A representative for Afroman said the rapper didn't know if the fan was a man or a woman and just reacted to someone being on the stage. The rep also added the incident was completely out of character for Afroman. All you fans out there, please don't let that indiscretion put you off his music. Because I Got High is still a good song even after all those years, and I'm not about to let what happened yesterday ruin it for me.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Facing the Black Caps

They are proving to be the Chuck Norris of the Cricket World Cup, and for the second time in the current edition, they've dismissed the entire opposition during their turn to field. Scotland batted first today and scored 142 all out setting a lowly target of just 143 runs, which we clearly had no trouble exceeding (despite losing seven wickets in the process) for a final score of 146 for 7. Our next opponents will be England, who could prove to be a challenging team for once.

Touch the value, taste the value

How do you tell which banknote is which? Look at the number printed on it? Look at the colour (not an option if the money in question is American)? What if you were blind and couldn't see either of those? Never fear, people of Australia, there will be a new type of cash in your pockets next year that the vision impaired will find easier to use. The notes will have "tactile features", or bumpy bits (similar to the markings Canada have been using since 2001), that allow people to identify their value with just a touch. They will also have brighter colours and larger numbers (for those who can still see something), while each denomination will be a different size. The Reserve Bank has been testing different designs and consulting with vision impaired people on how well they work, but the details have not yet been finalised, and until the notes have replaced the current series in circulation, it will still be a case of the blind being bowled underarm by the blind.

Drivin' Apple cars, livin' like a star, ice on the fingers and the toes of the Tesla

Yesterday, the Black Caps logged their first victory of the 2015 Cricket World Cup, beating Sri Lanka by 98 runs. The Black Caps scored 331 for 6 and Sri Lanka 233 all out. But victory is also in the air for Planet Earth, as there is one more player in the electric car game: Apple. That's right, Apple Inc. is working on an Apple-branded electric vehicle. The project is code-named Titan and the design resembles a minivan. The Cupertino company has assigned several hundred employees to the vehicle. While a car may not ultimately result, some Apple executives have flown to Austria (the one that had Hitler, not the one with the kangaroos) to meet with contract manufacturers of high-end cars. Apple already has expertise managing a vast supply chain and has technology that may lend itself to an electric car. The company has long researched battery technology for use in its iPhones, iPads, and Macs. The mapping system it debuted in 2012 can be used for navigation. Last year, Apple also introduced CarPlay, a software system for automakers to use in its cars that integrates iTunes, mapping, messaging, and other applications. But all that fancy stuff will be old news if Apple does produce an electric car.

Don't drink and drone

A Singapore restaurant plans to use drones to transport food and drinks from the kitchen to a wait station near customers’ tables by the end of this year. That's all well and good, but delivering plates of food and drink to individual tables sounds like a recipe for disaster. How does the drone know where to hover? What if someone bumps into the drone or is standing in its way? While Infinium Robotics, the Singapore company that’s developing the drones for restaurant chain Timbre, claims it’s all technically possible, Timbre won’t be delivering food from the kitchen straight to customers’ tables. It wants to preserve a human touch. So the drones will fly from the kitchen to two stations frequented by waiters. The routes are 30 and 60 feet (9.15 and 18.3 m). The drones are programmed to fly no lower than 8½ feet (2.6 m), so as not to crash into any guests. And they will need power too, so how will they get that power? It's simple - the drones automatically charge while waiting in the kitchen. After the chef puts an order on the drone, he hits a button on a keypad and the drone automatically flies to one of two wait stations. Sense-and-avoid technology built into the drone won’t allow it to land at the wait station if anything is in its way. The drones are also equipped with sonar and an infrared sensor. A waiter then removes the food or drink from the drone and hits a button that sends it back to the kitchen. The 5⅓-pound (2.4 kg) drones can carry just over four pounds (1.8 kg) of food. Infinium Robotics, which develops the hardware and software, is working on a model that will carry twice as much food. Way to put busboys out of work, Timbre. I knew it was all about money. The waiters will clearly be the next to go.

1800 POSTS!

And another victory for the Reds at Old Trafford yesterday morning. Manchester United were made to work hard for the three points, but they saw off Burnley 3-1 thanks to a first-half double from substitute Chris Smalling and Robin van Persie's late penalty. Sean Dyche's side may feel unlucky to end up with nothing for their endeavours, but Smalling's headers before half-time and a first spot-kick of the campaign proved sufficient, with Danny Ings replying for the Clarets. Seven players received yellow cards, but what matters here is the three points, and LVG will need more of them to get the Premiership back from Man City.

Still holds true six months later

Truth-stretcher stretches his way out of a job

Six months after the suicide of Robin Williams, NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams was suspended for six months without pay for exaggerating his role in a helicopter incident in Iraq, marking the first time a network news anchor has been stripped of his duties. The disciplinary action was a stunning fall from grace for Williams, who presided over America's top-rated newscast for a decade and helped lead it to numerous Emmy and Peabody awards. The punishment follows last week's on-air apology for falsely saying that a helicopter in which he was flying on a combat mission in 2003 had come under fire. The apology touched off a firestorm and was widely perceived as insufficient by a chorus of media critics and war veterans. NBC launched an internal investigation as Williams took a temporary leave of absence. By then, though, the damage to the anchor's credibility proved too extensive to keep his job. It serves him right for making up stuff and passing it off as news. You only do that crap with news satire. If your job is to report on the real news, then you do that instead of making stuff up. If your helicopter wasn't shot down, don't say it was otherwise your job could also be on the line.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: "Smart" televisions

I do want one, but not if they're going to be used in ways more befitting of the NSA. And if you have one, watch what you say in your living room. Samsung's smart TV could be listening. And sharing. Voice recognition technology in the South Korean company's Internet connected TVs can capture and transmit nearby conversations. The potential for TVs to eavesdrop is revealed in Samsung's smart TV privacy policy available on its website. Quoting from said policy, "please be aware that if your spoken works include personal or other sensitive information, that information will be among the data captured." Despite this, some people accept this as a necessary evil because for the voice command feature to work, third party software translates speech into text and sends the command back to the TV. Users can give commands to the TV's built-in microphone such as "find me an action movie," which causes the TV to search as instructed. This is not the first time that smart TVs sparked privacy concerns. In 2013, a user revealed that LG Electronics smart TV was sending information about his viewing habits back to the company without consent and without encrypting data. LG has also experimented with displaying targeted ads on its smart TVs, which requires collecting and utilizing user data, such as their location, age, and gender. Seriously, people, if you don't want your TV doing that to you, don't turn the microphone on unless absolutely necessary. And if you're using other people's televisions to spy on their conversations, STOP IT. That includes you, NSA.

Point obtained at last minute

Daley Blind scored an injury time goal for Manchester United this morning to secure a dramatic 1-1 draw against West Ham - although Louis van Gaal might rue a missed chance to reclaim third place in the Barclays Premier League table. The Reds started the match knowing a victory would be enough to go above Southampton in the table again, but they trailed for most of the second half following Cheikhou Kouyate’s impressive opener at Upton Park. With time running out, after struggling against Sam Allardyce’s hard-working team, the visitors snatched a point from the jaws of defeat with Blind's timely strike. Luke Shaw's subsequent red card for a second bookable offence was only a slight blemish on a battling performance, as were the four other yellow cards that were shown. This isn't good enough. You can't get back to the top on just one point at a time. It's still better than LVG just being the next David Moyes, but come on. This season should be about rebuilding.

Just five posts away

from post number 1800.

To Oxford comma or not to Oxford comma?

I don't know about you losers, but I say yes to the serial comma, and this pic will tell you why:

Happy birthday, Hazel. (for those of you who don't know, she's my niece and she turned 2 today)

Interview to be released over the Atlantic

British cinema audiences will finally be able to see for themselves what all the fuss was about when The Interview, a comedy about two hapless US journalists’ attempts to assassinate the North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, is released on over 200 screens across the country today. Unlike in the US, where Sony initially pulled the film from distribution for fear of further retribution from the suspected North Korean hackers who called themselves the Guardians of Peace, the film will get a full cinema release in the UK. Despite Sony back-tracking on its decision to pull the film after the decision drew criticism from President Obama for caving into terrorist demands, the film was only given a very limited theatrical release in the US, shown in only around 500 cinemas instead of the planned 3,000. It was made available to purchase via on-demand services and has already been rented or downloaded 4.3m times and has taken $40m from digital sales and over $6m from cinema takings. Sony have now claimed it is the “No 1 online film of all time”, and with the The Interview costing $44m to make, all production costs have already been recouped. Eat on that, Guardians of Peace. Just like Charlie Hebdo last month, The Interview has come back bigger and stronger than before. And the British, even though they were among America's first enemies, will just add to Sony's profits. It's called the Streisand effect, people. Look it up.