WEEKLY GROSS-OUT: Human error

They say that to err is human. But human error has been cited as a cause or contributing factor in disasters and accidents in industries as diverse as nuclear power, aviation, space exploration, and medicine. Another example: when I went to see Beautiful Lies in the weekend, the projectionist had threaded One Day (which was apparently scheduled for the same auditorium later that day) into the projector instead, and yes I did alert the cinema staff to the mistake as soon as the title was revealed to be the wrong one even though it was already looking a bit suspect when Anne Hathaway’s name was featured in the opening credits. This is why cinemas should have a message during the advertising loop for a particular film saying something along the lines of “Thank you for choosing [cinema name]. In a few minutes, we will be playing [movie name]. If this is not the movie that you have come to see, please inform cinema staff as soon as possible.”

And because today is also the last day of the month, we will also reveal that the Bellend of the Month for October 2011 is Freemon Everett Seay. What began as an attempt to discipline his child turned into a sordid case of abuse when police say the Washington man forced his 16-year-old daughter to don Renaissance armour and engage in a wooden sword battle for two hours. He was punishing his daughter for a recent attempt to run away from home, but the Renaissance fair enthusiast has since been arrested for the October 16 beating, and rightly so because he apparently started by beating the girl with a willow switch before donning armour and forcing her into a two-hour battle between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. local time. When the girl was reportedly no longer able to stand on her own, he relented. But what that bellend didn’t count on was that his daughter quickly took action, texting pictures of her bruises and injuries to friends, who promptly alerted the authorities. The daughter did the right thing in taking him down with the power of her cellular phone (yes, we have come quite a long way since the real Renaissance), and that evil maggot will hopefully rot in prison unless, of course, human error gets in the way.