Life's a printed gun

A Texas company says it has made the first metal gun using a 3D printer, taking the debate over people's emerging ability to create their own firearms to a new level. Solid Concepts, a specialty manufacturing company, said in a blog post it has fired more than 50 rounds from the handgun, even hitting a few bull's-eyes at more than 25 metres. The pistol is a version of an M1911, a handgun designed by John Browning and first used widely in the latter stages of combat stemming from the Philippine-American War. It's built from 33 mostly stainless-steel parts and has a carbon-fibre handgrip carved with a laser. I can see why they'd want to try making their own gun, considering that the company is based in a redneck state, but the company has gone out of its way to point out that producing the metal gun isn't meant to advance a trend that worries law enforcement and some politicians. As 3D printers become more widespread and affordable, some envision a near future in which criminals can crank out untraceable weapons without having to leave their homes, and one day, some bellend would be able to bring one of those into my sister's home and shoot my niece (pictured) at point-blank range. I have a message to anyone who is thinking right now of doing just that: IF YOU SHOOT HAZEL, YOU'LL HAVE ME TO DEAL WITH.

Star Wars movie to come to life on Life Day

Lucasfilm has announced the new date for the debut of the next Star Wars trilogy, and despite some script rewriting that is currently underway, the movie will not be pushed to later in 2016. In terms of the release date, the seventh movie is going to boldly go where no Star Wars movie has gone before - fans can expect to revisit the galaxy far, far away on Dec. 18, 2015. The December release date will make it the first Star Wars film to open around the Christmas holiday — or “Life Day” as it’s known among the Wookiees. The previous films have all premiered in May, with three-year intervals between each instalment. But here's something you won't have to wait two years for: Butterbeer, the beloved drink that Harry, Ron, Hermione, and so many others down regularly throughout the Harry Potter books, is coming to Starbucks, per a note at Dalebacar.com. "Harry Potter can’t be real", your friends may explain to you every holiday season, "you can’t even order Butterbeer at restaurants not named The Three Broomsticks." Well, this week Starbucks proved if you wish for something long enough, it’ll come true and then your friends can’t make fun of you anymore. Butterbeer won’t be advertised on the menu though; instead you will have to use a secret password (sound familiar?) to access the frothy beverage. The password being this here recipe: a Creme Frappuccino base (blue milk is required for the right consistency), 3 pumps each of caramel and toffee nut syrups, and top with caramel drizzle.

Torch in Space

A three-man crew successfully blasted off into space with the Olympic torch yesterday, ready to take it on its first space walk in what they said would be a spectacular showcase for the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi. Japan's Koichi Wakata pumped the air with his fist as the Soyuz rocket, painted with snowflake patterns, took off on a crisp morning, an onboard camera showed. The crew sat beneath a stuffed polar bear wrapped in a blue scarf. The space flight is part of what will be the longest torch relay before a Winter Olympics, which President Vladimir Putin hopes will boost Russia's image and show what it can achieve, more than two decades after the Soviet Union collapsed. One should remember that Putin has a long way to go before he can become the best leader he can be. So far, the only good thing post-Soviet Russia has achieved under Putin is granting Edward Snowden asylum (that's right, even America has its downsides). Putin could score some more cool points as a leader by admitting and correcting his recent mistakes, and he can start by repealing that stupid gay propaganda law, letting Americans adopt Russian kids again, and freeing Pussy Riot. In other news, Marvel Comics have introduced a gladly welcomed dash of diversity into their ranks by relaunching the character Ms. Marvel as a 16-year-old girl of Pakistani-American heritage. The comic will centre on 16-year-old Kamela Khan, a Muslim schoolgirl living in New Jersey who is coming to terms with teenage angst, strict traditionalist parents, and her newly discovered super powers. So to sum it up, Kamela Khan will assume the identity of Ms Marvel when she faces up to criminals in the latest comic series, which is due out early next year.

Web inventor leading the charge on spies

The British computer scientist who created the world wide web has said encryption cracking by UK and US spy agencies is "appalling and foolish". Sir Tim Berners-Lee told the Guardian that the practice undermined efforts to fight cybercrime and cyberwarfare. He called for a "full and frank public debate" on internet surveillance. It comes as a parliamentary committee is due to quiz the heads of the UK's spying agencies - GCHQ, MI5, and MI6 - together in public for the first time. Also happening for the first time, Twitter is about to trade some of its stock on the New York Stock Exchange. Twitter shares have been priced at US$26 each, ahead of its impending debut on the NYSE. That is above the $23 to $25 range announced on Monday and values the short messaging service at more than US$18bn. That makes it the biggest market debut for a technology firm since Facebook went public last year. But seriously, nobody cares. The bubble will burst one day, and then whatever stock you bought will become worthless, just like bullying. Speaking of which, it is claimed that concerns about a "bullying culture" at a hospital now under police investigation were raised more than a year ago. The Care Quality Commission (CQC) has found "inaccuracies" in the cancer waiting time data at Colchester Hospital. The Royal College of Nursing says the hospital dismissed its concerns raised more than a year ago as "fantasy". The hospital said an investigation carried out by its own management in February 2012 was "not adequate". Staff told inspectors they were "pressured or bullied" to change data relating to patients and their treatment to make it seem people were being treated in line with national guidelines, the CQC said. The inspector said patients' lives may have been put at risk. Essex Police has been sent information by the CQC and is currently investigating whether there are grounds for a formal criminal investigation. They should also get Chuck Norris to deal with it. Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia and fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, but fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.

Burka man on the run

A taskforce has been assembled to try to locate and catch Mohammed Ahmed Mohamed (pictured), a terror suspect who escaped from his government minders by disguising himself in a burka. Mohamed, who was subject to an order restricting his movements, left a London mosque on Friday with his face and body covered. The Met Police's Counter Terrorism Command, MI5, and the UK Border Agency are now joining forces to find him. Mr Mohamed is believed to have close links to al-Shabab, the Somali insurgent group that raided Nairobi's Westgate shopping mall in September, resulting in 67 deaths, but officials say there was not enough evidence to bring a criminal case against him in court. It is not known at this point in time where he could be headed next, but while UK Border Agency officers at Britain's ports and airports look out for the suspect, MI5 are working closely with the police to try to second-guess where he would be likely to go. One possibility is that he could lie low and stay in Britain. Investigators are considering the probability that he will make contact with elements of the criminal underworld, although he may be wary of exploiting existing links. But if Mr Mohamed wants to stay out of custody he will need a new, forged identity, but he still risks being recognised and having his whereabouts phoned in to the police by the public. Another possibility is that he could go to Kenya where there is a well-established secret pipeline used by al-Shabab associates to pass through the country on their way from Europe and the US to Somalia. The Kenyan authorities may be able to apprehend him, but plenty of jihadist volunteers have used the porous Kenya-Somali border to slip through the net and join al-Shabab. A third potential option under consideration is that Mr Mohamed could flee to Europe. If he can assume a new identity then he may be able to assimilate himself into the Somali diaspora in a European country with a sizeable community, such as Norway. But most Somalis do not want to be associated with al-Shabab, and with his picture so widely circulated, he could be easily recognised. So it's pretty much over for him unless he heads to a foreign embassy, comes up with a good sob story, and applies for asylum.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Not going for the chocolate chips

And no, I don't mean black California Highway Patrol officers. I mean this: Lay's is to launch a chocolate-covered potato chip for the holiday season. In news that is likely to divide snackers, the Wavy chips dipped in milk chocolate are in Target stores across America for a limited time, according to USA Today. The paper reports that the snacks will cost US$3.49 per 5oz bag, and if they prove popular, could be made a permanent addition to the Lay's product line. Lay's chocolate potato chips is the latest unlikely product to combine sweet and salty flavours, a growing trend in the multi-billion-dollar snack market that food manufacturers are keen to cash in on. We already have flavour combinations like maple-bacon and salted caramel on the market, but for Lay's, the chocolate chips is its first foray into sweet-salty territory. If something like this was being sold in New Zealand, then I would definitely consider trying this product, which could prove to be a hit. And speaking of hits, a fan of a US baseball team is suing the club after allegedly being hit by a hot dog thrown by its mascot. She claims she had to have an operation to repair a damaged retina after being hit in the eye by the snack at a Kansas City Royals game, and a second operation to remove a cataract which developed later on. The alleged incident, in September 2009, is claimed by the supporter to have involved the club's lion mascot, who is accused of hurling a foil-wrapped hot dog into the stands which struck the 53-year-old claimant. The case could lead to changes in the way mascots interact with fans.

Here's five ounces for each of you

A collection of 1,500 artworks confiscated by the Nazis in the 1930s and 1940s has been found in the German city of Munich. The trove is believed to include works by Matisse, Picasso, and Chagall. Some of the works were declared as degenerate by the Nazis, while others were stolen from, or forcibly sold for a pittance by, Jewish art collectors. If confirmed, it would be one of the largest recoveries of looted art. Investigators put the value of the works at about one billion euros. But enough about that because there has been an even more valuable find: new research suggests that athletes who use steroids for a short period can benefit for their entire careers. Experiments with mice showed that a brief exposure to testosterone allowed the mice to rapidly regain muscle later in their lives. The scientist behind the study says that if a similar effect can be shown in humans, it should lead to a lifetime ban for dopers. And speaking of dope, Bernie Goetz, the controversial 'Subway Vigilante' who shot four teenagers on the New York subway in 1984, has been charged with misdemeanor sale and possession of marijuana after he was nabbed in a sting operation in Union Square park on Friday evening (Eastern Daylight Time) for selling US$30 worth of marijuana to an undercover officer. The 65-year-old, who became a public figure after he shot four black youths he claimed were going to mug him, was arraigned on Saturday in Manhattan Criminal Court on three misdemeanor drug charges for sale and possession of marijuana. He was released on his own recognizance and is due back in court next month.

Moyes finally bringing in the three-pointers

A scintillating first-half attacking display was enough this morning to seal a deserved 3-1 victory for Manchester United over Fulham at Craven Cottage. The hosts couldn't cope as the Reds romped into a 3-0 lead after 22 minutes with goals from Antonio Valencia, Robin van Persie, and Wayne Rooney. The only other goal was scored by Alexander Kacaniklic and three players were yellow-carded.

Golden Dawn trio not around for the real dawn

Two members of Greece's far-right Golden Dawn have been killed and a third wounded in a drive-by shooting outside the party's offices in an Athens suburb. The dead men, aged 22 and 27, were guarding the office. The attack comes weeks after several members of Golden Dawn, including the leader, were arrested on suspicion of forming a criminal organisation. The arrests followed the killing of an anti-fascist musician named Pavlos Fyssas, whose stage name was Killah P. His death sparked protests in Athens and across Greece. Considering Golden Dawn's agenda, I'm sure whoever shot at the party offices was doing the right thing. Fascism is an unnecessary nuisance which has absolutely no place in our society.

Oh how sweet tin it is!

A heart surgeon at a Swansea hospital has won an award for an invention that cost him 95p to create. Morriston hospital doctor Abdullrazak Hossien made his surgery training simulator out of a sweet tin. He said: "Thomas Edison said that to invent you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. I designed a portable trainer, which you can keep in your pocket. You can practise on the train, on an aeroplane, at home, wherever you are. I developed it from a sweet tin that can be fixed to a table, and created an aorta using synthetic material. It cost me around 95p. I accompanied this simulator with a multimedia DVD [with] guidelines that trainees can apply to any procedure on the aortic root. They can progress from the simplest procedure to the most complex as they develop." The portable device can be used anywhere and is now being manufactured for use around the world. One person who won't be around to see the good that such a device can do is Jeff Hall, a neo-Nazi who was killed in 2011 by his son. The Californian boy, who was 10 years old when he shot Hall, has been sentenced to between seven and 10 years in juvie. The unnamed boy, now 13, will be eligible for parole when he is 20. During his trial, lawyers argued he had killed his father to stop him separating from the boy's stepmother. Defence lawyers for the boy say he grew up in an abusive environment, and had emotional and learning disabilities. He told police he was afraid he would have to decide between living with his father or stepmother after their divorce.

Twerks a million

The Bellend of the Month for October 2013 is Valerie Dixon. The 27-year-old from Florida was accused of “dancing in a vulgar manner” in front of children, but instead of being asked to host Saturday Night Live, she was arrested. A Lake County deputy spotted Dixon bent over at the waist and screaming profanities at a school bus full of children. The Orlando Sentinel reported that the children on the school bus were watching as Dixon twerked and allegedly grasped her genital area before the officer stepped in to stop the show. Dixon, who had no previous criminal charges, was charged with disorderly conduct and booked into the Lake County Jail. It serves her right. You need to think of the children before you start dancing like Miley Cyrus. If Dixon had picked a less vulgar dance, for example Gangnam Style, she wouldn't be facing charges of disorderly conduct.

Torn in the sack

The cruelty one woman allegedly showed to her own son is enough to be its own Halloween horror tale. Authorities have charged Jennifer Marie Vargas, a civilian living on a military base in San Antonio, with assault after she allegedly attempted to pull off her 6-year-old child’s genitals while angry at him, then tried to reattach them with superglue. According to a criminal affidavit filed with the FBI, Vargas admitted to agents that on September 27, after becoming angry at the boy, she grabbed his scrotum as hard as she could “thereby ripping his ‘sack’ and causing a laceration,” according to a criminal complaint filed in federal court. The document continued that she applied the superglue, chemically known as a cyanoacrylate adhesive and designed for binding solid services, then stuffed the boy’s underwear with paper towel and ordered him to bed. She sought no medical attention for him. That is not cool. People should not be doing things like that. Ripping open a kid's junk (unless it's Justin Bieber) is tantamount to assault and should be dealt with as severely as possible.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Blaming it on minorities

Chinese police are reportedly seeking two ethnic Uighur Muslims from the far west of the country in connection with the car fire which killed five people in front of Tiananmen Gate yesterday. The driver and two passengers burned to death when their car smashed through barriers and burst into flames in a suspected immolation in front of the famous portrait of Chairman Mao. Two tourists were killed and 38 others were injured when the vehicle struck them. Now police are reportedly contacting local hotels looking for others who might have been involved in this seemingly deliberate act. According to reports from hotel managers the names given by police appear to be those of ethnic Uighurs. But why blame it on a helpless minority? That may well be the work of a Chinese person or any other ethnicity. In fact, 9/11 may well be an inside job. You can't just go round blaming minorities for everything.

Phone's up all night to get blocky

A new mobile phone concept that would give users a chance to choose from a range of components, and replace or upgrade them when necessary, has generated enormous interest online. But could this sustainable, modular device ever become a reality? Six months ago, the Dutch designer Dave Hakkens took apart his favourite camera. "I noticed all these little parts," he says. "And everything was good except for the lens motor. That had broken." But when Hakkens contacted the manufacturer to get a replacement motor, he was advised to just replace the whole camera. "With your bike you repair the tyre, you don't throw the bike away," he says. "But for some reason this is what we do with electronics." Hakkens realised that if a device could be taken apart and upgraded more easily it would last much longer, minimising electrical waste. And so the idea of Phonebloks was born. The concept - Hakkens hasn't figured out how to actually make it - is for a phone with a replaceable screen and easily moveable, changeable "bloks", each containing a different element such as battery, chipset, gyroscope, or whatever - all of which vary in size and can be made to tessellate in any number of combinations. This has got to be one of the best ideas for a phone, especially when it can be customised to suit the individual. Let's say this is your phone and you do everything in the cloud - why not replace your storage blok with a bigger battery blok? Or if you love to take pictures, why not upgrade your camera? The possibilities are limited only by what components are available and how many can fit on your phone.

Moyes finally stoking the fires of success

Just as Manchester United looked set to suffer a shock home defeat to Stoke City this morning, the Barclays Premier League champions produced a stirring late comeback at to secure a memorable 3-2 victory over Mark Hughes' side. David Moyes admits he hopes that this sterling comeback against Stoke City is the first of many during his Manchester United reign. "I was going to say that I hope it was the first of many," he laughed. "Still, I’d rather have a late comeback than a defeat. I thought that we kept going, we tried everything today. We made mistakes and our goalkeeper kept us in the game at times today, but we kept knocking and that door trying to find a way through and eventually we did." Scoring-wise, first half goals from Peter Crouch and Marko Arnautovic bookended Robin van Persie's equaliser, and the visitors were on the brink of their first win at Old Trafford since 1976 until goals in the 78th and 80th minutes from Wayne Rooney and Javier Hernandez flipped the match on its head. Seven players received yellow cards during the game.

Guitar-breakers in hot water for delays

United Airlines was fined US$1.1 million by regulators for stranding passengers inside planes at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport (the same airport where baggage-handlers once broke a passenger's guitar while loading it onto a United flight bound for Nebraska), the largest penalty since rules took effect in 2010. Thirteen United planes with 939 passengers on board were delayed on the ground for more than the three-hour limit during thunderstorms that disrupted the second-busiest U.S. airport on July 13, 2012, the Department of Transportation said. At least two planes didn’t have working restrooms, according to a consent order issued yesterday. “It is unacceptable for passengers to be stranded in planes on the tarmac for hours on end,” Transportation Secretary Anthony Foxx said in a statement. Of course it is. Delays suck enough as it is. The airlines do not need to make it worse by keeping everyone on the plane just because of the thunderstorm. What if my niece (pictured in her cutest photo so far) had been kept on board one of the planes?

Free update already on the up and up

Apple’s latest update for operating system update for Mac is now on 5.5% of Mac computers and that number is increasing fast. Advertising network Chitika reports that Mavericks has been downloaded three times as fast as last year’s Mountain Lion update within the first 24 hours. The main reason for this success is that this year’s update is free. Apple initially charged Mac owners US$20 for Mountain Lion, and even more for previous versions. I haven't yet installed Mavericks, but if you have a Mac and you're on Mountain Lion or earlier, you should get in while the getting's good. And if your machine's running a crappy alternative like Windows or Linux, then get a Mac. It'll be worth it.

timefor://new.generic.tld

Four new generic top-level domains (the letters that appear at the end of web addresses, such as .com) have been announced. The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) is expected to roll out the new names within weeks. They are: شبكة (Arabic for "web"), 游戏 (Chinese for "game"), онлайн (Russian for "online"), and сайт (Russian for "website"). Icann hopes hundreds of new top-level domains will eventually be made. We already have country codes in various scripts, but this could be the first time non-Latin characters can be used in a generic TLD. But there could soon be some various new Latin-based generic TLD's coming our way. Firms have come forward to request almost 2,000 new names including the likes of .porn, .ninja, and .ferrari. The BBC expressed an interest in .bbc. Google made 101 requests, including .google and .youtube, and also had more unexpected ideas such as .and, .boo, .dad, and .new. It will take some time for Icann to process all of those requests, particularly in cases where more than one firm wants to own the same gTLD - such as .music, requested by both Amazon and Google. The most popular domain name was .app - with 13 different companies interested in it. But for now, one will just have to rely on the standards already in use, like .com, .org, .net, .biz, and others along those lines.

Cricket on the cross

The Vatican has launched its own official cricket club as part of efforts to encourage interfaith dialogue. The St Peter's Cricket Club is the brainchild of Australia's ambassador to the Holy See, John McCarthy. He described it as an example of "sporting diplomacy" which would present the opportunity to play the Hindus, Muslims, and Sikhs. The next stage is to select an official cricket team, which will sport the official colours of the tiny city-state - yellow and white. Their jackets will have the seal of the papacy - two crossed keys. Speaking of crossing keys, a couple who engaged in a sexual act in a Shrewsbury railway station lift are being sought. A man and woman were seen entering the lift, which connects the station's main subway to platforms four to seven, at about 7:25pm British Summer Time on 28 September. British Transport Police said that the pair were in the lift for more than 10 minutes, and during that short period of time, had performed an indecent act. And they can't deny the act in question because CCTV images of two people the cops want to speak to have been released. Speaking of releasing, for the first time in the US, a decommissioned prison is to be turned into a facility to help former inmates re-enter the community. And it's happening in the area of New York most in need of it - the Bronx. The facility will be run by the Osborne Association, a not-for-profit group with 80 years of experience working with both the imprisoned and those who have been released from jail. But enough about all that because we have something a lot better to discuss here - Apple has unveiled a top-of-the-range tablet called the iPad Air that is 20% thinner than the previous version. The 9.7in (24.6cm) computer is 7.5mm (0.3in) thick and weighs 1lb (469g), which the firm claims is the lightest full-sized tablet on the market. It is powered by the same A7 chip found in the company's iPhone 5S. Apple also announced a new version of its iPad Mini. Its 7.9in (20cm) screen has been upgraded to feature 2048 by 1536 pixels - the same as the larger model. It is being branded as "retina" to highlight the increased resolution. Amazon and Google have already announced small tablets - the Kindle Fire HDX and Nexus 7 - with similar high definition displays. But screw the Kindle Fire and the Nexus because Apple is where it's at for quality electronic devices - always has been, always will be. If you're after a new phone or tablet, remember this advice - if it's not an Apple, it's crapple.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Standing by your manager

And by manager, I can only mean the eternally clueless and inept David Moyes. It's not easy taking over from one of the greatest managers in football history, but Moyes has been assured that one trophy in his debut season at Manchester United will be considered a success. So says his predecessor Alex Ferguson, a man who waited more than three years for his first silverware at Old Trafford before rewriting the record books. Ferguson, whose reign ended with a 13th Premier League crown last season, urged fans to be patient after a difficult start to this season's campaign. The level of patience required will be difficult if Manchester United end up in the bottom three and have to spend 2014-15 in the Sky Bet Championship as a result. For David, winning a trophy would be a fantastic achievement, but until that time, it should be Fergie all the way.

Books to arrive via drone

Australian textbook rental startup Zookal will begin utilizing drones to make its deliveries in Australia next year, with ambitions of bringing the unique, unmanned delivery method to U.S. customers by 2015. The company says this marks the first commercial use of fully automated drones worldwide. It will fulfill deliveries in Sydney using six drones to start, dropping off textbook purchases at an outdoor location of the customer's choosing. To wipe away any potential privacy or surveillance fears, the drones aren't equipped with cameras. Instead, built-in anti-collision technology keeps them clear of trees, buildings, birds, and other potential obstacles. It's looking to be a smart way to save on labour costs, but let's not drone on (excuse the pun) about this dehumanisation of service because two convicted murderers who used forged documents to trick their way out of prison in Florida have been recaptured. Joseph Jenkins and Charles Walker, both 34 and dangerous, were seized without incident at a motel in Panama City, Florida. The men, who were serving life sentences without the possibility of parole for murder, had been freed from separate jails after officials were fooled by fake papers reducing their terms. The prison authorities have pledged to tighten up their early-release policy.

New manager still not cutting it for the boys in red

David Moyes insists Manchester United will bounce back from the disappointment of conceding late on against Southampton at Old Trafford this morning, as Southampton captain Adam Lallana grabbed a late equaliser to cancel out Robin van Persie's first-half strike in a match where five players received yellow cards. I don't believe him. So far, the Reds are bombing under David Moyes. Alex Ferguson was the reason why Manchester United have been an awesome team in recent years, and so far, Moyes hasn't been able to work the same kind of magic.

Another one goes down over the frozen CO2

Police arrested a second airport employee yesterday (Pacific Daylight Time) for an alleged role in setting off ice bombs at the Los Angeles International Airport. 41-year-old Miguel Angel Iniguez of Inglewood was arrested while working at the airport and booked on suspicion of possession of a destructive device near an aircraft, Los Angeles police said. Iniguez is being held on $500,000 bail. This is why it never pays to set off a dry ice bomb. This sort of conduct is the wrong thing to do and he should be made to pay the price. SO DON'T DO IT. Also, don't cry onstage about Justin Bieber. Selena Gomez is still torn up about Bieber - that's the only explanation for her sappy and tear-filled performance Wednesday night (Eastern Daylight Time) in Brooklyn. Selena started sobbing and weeping near the end of her ballad, "Love Will Remember" - which is widely believed to be about Justin - partially because the original leaked version of the song featured a voicemail Justin left for Selena. Why Selena, or anyone for that matter, would have feelings for that douche is one of life's many mysteries. If you want real music, Google the phrase "Gangnam Style".

Kickstarter to kick-start in the Tasman

And no, it's not one of those deals where the convict crowd (who live on the wrong side of the ditch) will get to try the product first simply because there's more of them. Kickstarter, the world’s largest funding platform for creative projects, has revealed it’s opening up to both Australia- and New Zealand-based projects from November 13. Announced via the company’s official blog site, big thinking Kiwis and Aussies will benefit from the crowd funding website in less than a month. “In August we announced that Kickstarter would soon open up to projects based in Australia and New Zealand for the first time,” wrote Michael McGregor, creator of Kickstarter. “Today we’re happy to announce that the day has finally come! Beginning today (like, right now!), people in Australia and New Zealand can start building their projects by clicking on the “Start a project” button on the Start page. Beginning Wednesday November 13, people in those countries will be able to launch their projects. We’ll send an email that day letting everyone know when they can click the launch button.” But until that exciting day, there will still be plenty of time for all our Kiwi and Aussie readers, no matter what side of the ditch they're on, to come up with a good project and make it worth everyone's hard-earned cash (and no, I will NOT pledge money towards a robot that bowls underarm or anything of that ilk).

The shutdown has been shut down

After shutting down the U.S. government for 16 days and driving the nation toward the brink of default, a chastened Congress voted last night (Eastern Daylight Time) to reopen federal agencies, call hundreds of thousands of civil servants back to work, and raise the US$16.7 trillion debt ceiling. An agreement struck by Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell ended a stalemate created last month, when hard-line conservatives pushed GOP leaders to use the threat of shutdown to block a landmark expansion of federally funded health coverage. “We’ve been locked in a fight over here, trying to bring government down to size, trying to do our best to stop Obamacare,” House Speaker John A. Boehner told a Cincinnati-area radio station. “We fought the good fight. We just didn’t win.” Of course they didn't. Their campaign was successful, but only in undermining popular support for the Republican Party. One side had to cave in eventually, and it was only fitting that dozens of anxious GOP lawmakers were ready to give President Obama almost exactly what he requested months ago: a bill to fund the government and increase the Treasury Department’s borrowing power with no strings attached. The Senate overwhelmingly ratified the deal 81 votes to 18, with more than half of Senate Republicans voting yes. A few hours later, the House followed suit, approving the measure 285 to 144. Eighty-seven Republicans joined a united Democratic caucus in approving the measure, allowing Congress to meet a critical Treasury Department deadline with one day to spare. But enough about that because a 32-year-old mom has drawn a firestorm of online criticism over a photo she posted on Facebook (pictured) to promote her fitness expertise that some say amounts to bullying. Maria Kang of Sacramento, California, shared a glossy shot of herself in ab-revealing workout gear along with her brood of three boys ages three years and under, below the caption "What's your excuse?" "I felt that if others can overcome incredible challenges to be in shape, why would my story be any different?" Kang, a sometime model and TV fitness expert who also owns a residential care home for the elderly, explained on her personal website. Here's my excuse: staying "in shape" is for those who are vain or have no self-esteem.

Lose an eye, don't lose a dimension

Seeing in three dimensions doesn’t necessarily need the use of two eyes, according to a pair of scientists at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. One of the ways that humans perceive depth is through a process called stereopsis. Stereopsis stems from the fact that most people view the world through two eyeballs, each of which presents a slightly different picture. The tiny differences between the two pictures that each eye sees help the brain calculate the three-dimensional portrait of the world around the viewer. Losing one eye often sharply decreases a person’s depth perception. You can still pick up cues from the world around you by relying on lighting, perspective, and familiarity with the sizes of various objects. One of the few ways to recreate stereopsis with one eye is through motion, creating parallax – the same phenomenon that allows astronomers to calculate celestial distances by observing the motion of stars and planets. So there's no need for all you one-eyed readers out there to worry - you can still see many of the latest blockbusters in 3D (if you know the secret). Speaking of secrets, scientists have discovered a new type of botox they believe is the "deadliest substance known to man", but have withheld the DNA sequence because an antidote is not known. It is the first time the scientific community has made such a move to withhold such information but security concerns have dictated that they do so. New Scientist reports that just 2 billionths of a gram of the protein botulinum produced by the soil bacterium Clostridium botulinum will kill an adult.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Racial abuse

A former Napier woman living with her family in Australia says a recent visit back will be the last for some time, and they would be unlikely to return to live after being racially abused. "Racism is alive and well in Napier," Elizabeth Webber said as she and her husband and two children prepared to fly back to their home in Coomera on the Gold Coast. They had returned to visit her husband's family and she had caught up with friends, and on Saturday, the day before they were due to fly out, they had been driving along Hastings St and slowed down for the paved speed bump and stop sign at the intersection with Vautier St. Mrs Webber said the speed bumps were confusing as some people treated them as pedestrian crossings where they believed they had right of crossing before a motor vehicle, but she agreed that out of courtesy if someone was crossing a car should allow him or her to. "On the approach we noticed no one walking across or approaching the speed hump so we proceeded to go over and wait behind the car in front of us." She said the back end of their car was on the speed hump for no more than 10 to 15 seconds at the most. "In that time an elderly man, about 75 to 85, was approaching and then started to walk across the speed hump. As he got closer to our car window, he said loud enough for all of us to hear, 'Bloody Maoris'." Mrs Webber said she was angry, embarrassed, and felt humiliated - but was especially upset because her 11-year-old son was also in the car and heard what the man said. That was not cool. One should never say those things to anyone. I am for the most part relieved that my niece (pictured) wasn't within earshot of that bellend.

Airport freezes over frozen CO2

Authorities say an explosion from a plastic bottle containing dry ice at a Los Angeles International Airport terminal caused up to four flights to be delayed. FBI spokeswoman Laura Eimiller says a chemical reaction caused the explosion last night (Pacific Daylight Time) in an employee bathroom in Terminal 2. No injuries were reported, but as a precaution authorities closed the terminal and examined the area for evidence. To do that, officials had to halt security screening, which led to the delay of up to four departing flights. Whoever left the dry ice bomb did a horrible thing that inconvenienced possibly hundreds of travellers and could've potentially been a diversion for an act of terrorism. But enough about that because a Malaysian court had ruled that a Christian newspaper may not use the word "Allah" to refer to God, a landmark decision that doesn't take into account the fact that the word Allah predated Islam and had been used extensively by Malay-speaking Christians in Malaysia's part of Borneo island for centuries. In fact, Christians in Indonesia and much of the Arab world continue to use the word without opposition from Islamic authorities.

Cricketer to retire amidst stronger carbon

A material called carbyne could be stronger even than graphene or diamond, according to researchers who have calculated its properties. The team says carbyne, which is a chain of carbon atoms held together by double or alternating single and triple chemical bonds, could have a range of remarkable properties, if it can ever be made in bulk - and some experts have doubted whether this is possible. Even if it is possible, even carbyne can never be any stronger than, or even as strong as, Chuck Norris - the man who can divide by zero, and despite MC Hammer's claims, can "touch this". What can't be touched, however, is the fact that Sachin Tendulkar - the man with 13 coins - will be missed. Cricket fans in India have praised the record-breaking batsman, who has announced that he is to retire from all cricket. He will stand down after playing his 200th Test match next month. The 40-year-old former India captain is the highest run-scorer in the history of Test cricket.

All choked up and no place to go

Irish parents have been warned of a deadly choking game sweeping the web in which children 'strangle' themselves to restrict the flow of blood to the brain. The warning comes after a boy was admitted to Temple Street Hospital in Dublin as a result of playing the game. The teenager, who ended up on life support after the game went horribly wrong, was in a stable condition in the hospital last night. He is unconscious but in a stable condition, having been released from the Intensive Care Unit on Tuesday. The dangerous game is known by a variety of names from 'funky chicken' to 'space monkey'. It involves hyperventilating or squeezing the carotid artery in the neck for a few seconds to achieve a high. Constricting the artery in this way cuts blood flow to the brain. Releasing the pressure leads to a sudden rush of oxygen to the brain, giving a feeling of euphoria. But the practice can cause brain damage, loss of consciousness, or even death. So if you're engaging in that sort of rubbish, then STOP IT or it could be you in intensive care.

Planet without a star

Eighty light-years from Earth, there's a world that's just six times more massive than Jupiter, floating all alone without a sun to keep it warm, astronomers reported on Wednesday. Such free-floaters have been reported before, but in the past, it hasn't always been clear whether these were orphaned planets or failed stars. This time, the scientists say they're sure it's a planet. There is a chance this new planet could actually be a star, but back on this planet, Ontario has passed a law that will ban people under the age of 18 from using tanning beds, a measure aimed at cutting rates of skin cancer in the province. The new rules will also force tanning salons to prominently post government-created posters that explain the risks of tanning to customers. “It is important legislation for us in Ontario today,” Health Minister Deb Matthews said Wednesday after the legislature unanimously endorsed the law at third reading. “Of course, a national solution would be preferable – I think that’s what the industry would prefer – but my job is to make sure the people of Ontario are protected.” In fact, the youth of eight of the ten provinces of Canada are protected by similar legislation (the two exceptions are Alberta and Saskatchewan).

Boiling up the future

It seems like it will only be a matter of time before you have the option to replace every appliance and utensil in your house with one that is connected to the Internet or to your phone. We've seen smart refrigerators, smart thermostats, the smart fork, smart locks, the smart smoke detector, and now there's what UK retailer Firebox.com calls the "world's first WiFi kettle." Now getting up early in the morning to boil water can a tedious task. What if you could just lie down in bed and have your water boiled at your bidding? This is the concept behind iKettle. This kitchen gadget can be controlled using an iOS or Android smartphone as long as the accompanying app is installed. The aptly named iKettle is what you expect it to be. The stainless steel 1.8 liter kettle has a wireless-equipped base station. When the kettle and smartphone are on the same network, using the app you can not only turn on the kettle but also set the temperature. Even better, the app has an alarm that allows you to turn on the heat as you hit the snooze button so your hot water is ready and waiting when you get out of bed. That's the good news, but the bad news is that at this stage, it will come with a standard 3-pin UK plug, so if you want to use this cool new gadget outside of the UK and Ireland, you will need an adapter. But it will hopefully all be worth it when the iKettle, which retails at US$160.79, ships next month.

OpenDoor closes in China

Apple has been accused of kowtowing to the Chinese government by pulling from its China App Store a product enabling users to circumvent firewalls and access restricted sites. OpenDoor, a free app that provides users a randomized IP address to keep their browsing habits anonymous and shielded from censors, was removed after the tech giant deemed it contained "illegal content," the app's lead developer said. It remains available in App Stores outside China. The developer - who wished to remain anonymous, saying that "as the developers of an app that protects users' privacy and anonymity online, it only makes sense to do the same ourselves" - said Apple provided no notification that the app had been pulled, with the developers only learning from consumers. When Apple responded to OpenDoor, they were told only that the app contained content that was illegal in China. Apple requires developers to comply with legal requirements in all locations in which the product is made available, but they could've made an exception for some of the stupid laws they have in places like China. Doing business in China should not mean having to give in to evil communist pigs. Other apps previously removed from Apple's App Store in China for falling foul of censorship laws include one providing access to forbidden books, and a news app for a U.S.-based broadcaster founded by the banned spiritual group Falun Gong.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Growing older

That's right, growing older. It happens to everyone, for example, both of my parents turned 50 this year. I am now half their age, still living with one of them, and still not in a job. But I am still here to do what I do best, which is bring you a daily piece of my mind (and whoever's been +1'ing all my recent posts, thank you). We start tonight with Singapore's prime minister, who openly criticized the United States over the government shutdown and ongoing deadlock over the debt ceiling, calling them "problems you have created for yourself in a game of chicken." He's right about that one. The Republicans are effectively holding America hostage over the Obamacare program, which they don't want to fund. They need to realise that the Affordable Care Act will help several Americans who would otherwise have to go to Canada to get the health care they so desperately need. And they'd better lift the debt ceiling by next Thursday otherwise America will have no choice but to default.

True patriot love in all of us command?

A group of prominent Canadian women have launched a campaign to make the English-language lyrics to Canada's national anthem more gender-neutral. The group, which includes author Margaret Atwood and former Prime Minister Kim Campbell, objects to the line "in all thy sons command". The women say a revision to O Canada's lyrics would "encapsulate the equality of all Canadians". Their campaign (click here for their website), also backed by Senator Nancy Ruth and former Senator Vivienne Poy, calls on Canadians to encourage Prime Minister Stephen Harper's government to alter the official English lyrics to O Canada. They would change the line to "in all of us command". The women say the English version of the song at one point contained the line "thou dost in us command", with that line revised in 1913 to "in all thy sons command". Maybe it is time to make the change. If Australia could remove the words "Australia's sons" from the first line of their national anthem, then so can Canada. Even Austria removed the sexist language from their national anthem effective beginning of last year.

Reds back in top half of the table

Manchester United’s match this morning had got off to the worst possible start when Sunderland's Craig Gardner took the lead just five minutes in, but the Reds returned to winning ways (a rare feat under their new manager) at the Stadium of Light thanks to two superb goals from 18-year-old Adnan Januzaj (who is eligible to represent Belgium through birth, Kosovo and Albania through his parents, and Turkey and Serbia through his grandparents). Six players got yellow-carded.

Here comes the bride, just not from that side

Today is the 40th anniversary of the signing of the European Patent Convention. Also known as the Convention on the Grant of European Patents of 5 October 1973, the EPC is a multilateral treaty instituting the European Patent Organisation and providing an autonomous legal system according to which European patents are granted. But enough about that crap because as disagreements in Congress mean that "closed" signs hang outside national parks across the US, many couples' wedding venues are now suddenly out of bounds. For instance, when Natasha Juliao and Sean Coughlin walked on to Paramount Ranch just outside Los Angeles, they knew they had found their perfect wedding venue. "The second that we stepped on the property, I knew it was where I was going to get married and we were jumping up and down and giddy," gushed bride-to-be Natasha. So when she found out that the bohemian ghost town would be closed for her big day, she was crushed. "I immediately had a nervous breakdown and started crying at work, it was awful. I had no idea what to do." With family and friends flying in from places as far as Taiwan, postponing the wedding was not an option. Unable to get a refund, Juliao and Coughlin, a nursing assistant and production co-ordinator, were nearly out of time and money to find an alternative. And hoping to create an intimate setting for their families' first encounter, Drake Lucas and Zach Kouwe spent more than a year poring over Pinterest, planning a low-key wedding in California's Yosemite National Park. "Ironically," Drake noted, "we chose it because we thought it would be stress-free." But with the park closed, the Brooklyn couple are scrambling to put together a plan B wedding in San Francisco, a five-hour drive away. From the flowers to the venue, everything has to be found in less than a week, which means nothing will be quite as they envisaged. In the midst of her hectic attempts to salvage her big day, Lucas, a grant-writer at Human Rights Watch, has some words of wisdom for Congress. "If I can just share a little of the advice I've been given during my engagement, I might be able to help us all out. It's called compromise. I hear you have to do a lot of it in marriage, and it seems to me that you should have to do a lot of it in your job, too. You can't just give up if you don't get your way. And you have to pay your bills on time. Because we are in this for the long haul and there are enough real problems we will have to weather - there is no need to create ones you can prevent." Here's another problem the bellends in Congress could've prevented: a hike in a wedding dress. As an endurance athlete, Genevieve Jeuck knew how to push through in tough situations. But when she found out that her Grand Canyon dream wedding would be off limits, she stopped in her tracks. "I got the call Thursday night. I cried. I was freaking out, and then I thought I was turning into a 'Bridezilla.'" Jeuck, a violinist, and her fiance Michael Sallemi, a Harley Davidson salesman, hadn't connected the dots between the government shutdown and the national parks closing. And with less than six days until the 2 October wedding, all options were on the table. But then the New Jersey couple were able to relocate to Sedona, Arizona, and the last-second wedding included an unexpected hike in the white dress. But a hike wasn't part of these wedding plans: MaiLien Le and Michael Cassesso had planned a romantic wedding at the Jefferson Memorial, where they met for their first date more than four years ago. Having worked in politics, the couple are no stranger to Capitol Hill antics, but that didn't soften the blow as their wedding became a casualty of the latest Washington crisis. "It's gut-wrenching, frustrating, aggravating, disheartening to have our wedding turned upside down like that," says Cassesso, a legislative analyst. Le, a project co-ordinator at an executive search firm, had a more intuitive reaction, with an expletive. As strangers started donating to their wedding gift registry, Cassesso and Le directed the funds to The Covenant House (a charity for homeless young people), a group the couple think will be adversely affected by the shutdown. This sort of rubbish is just one of the reasons why the GOP needs to stop holding the government hostage over Obamacare. They are only hurting their own cause by being a bunch of complete jerks about a law which will help several million Americans. Once the Republicans have veto-proof majorities (minimum two thirds) in both houses, they will have a chance to repeal the offending legislation.

Wiper, no wiping!

Forbes magazine printed its list of the billionaires in the year 2013. Royal family members and dictators were not included. Two-hundred and ten new billionaires reached that zenith since 2012. Worldwide there are 1,426 billionaires with a record net worth of $5.4 trillion — up from $4.6 trillion in 2012. Bill Gates is the richest American billionaire and second-most wealthy in the world, with a net worth of $67 billion. That is up $6 billion in one year. As of 2008 there were 10 million people around the globe who were classified as U.S. dollar millionaires. The number in the U.S. as of 2012 was 5,231,000. Realise that mathematically a million is one thousand thousands and a billion is one thousand millions. Bill Gates’ haul is 67 thousand thousand thousand dollar bills. The United States has a population of 316-plus million people. About two-thirds of that total are adults (age 18 and older). That would be about 212 million adults. If we separate the American millionaires from that total, it would leave 206 million American adults who are not millionaires. Let’s pretend Bill Gates was to magnanimously give all 206 million adult American non-millionaires a million each. As a percentage of his one year’s income, that would amount to 3.4 percent. As a percentage of his total wealth, that would represent only 0.3 percent. It could happen, but rich people being who they are, I wouldn't count on it. What is happening, however, is that a German security company has uncovered a bug in the new iPhone's software that it said enables hackers to overcome a safeguard allowing users to remotely wipe stolen or lost phones. Berlin's Security Research Labs, known as SRL, said yesterday that the vulnerability could potentially give criminals time to break into the Apple phones, gain complete control of data, access email accounts, and then potentially take over the user's bank accounts. The research firm also said it has figured out an easier way to crack the iPhone fingerprint scanner than has been demonstrated thus far. It published a video demonstrating the newly discovered flaws on its website.

Not lovin' it in Tecoma

A long-running feud has pitted protesters from a small town of 2,000 people in the shadows of Australia's temperate rainforest against one of the world's most recognisable brands. Tranquil Tecoma, 35km east of central Melbourne, has become a battleground between McDonald's and "community" protesters over the construction of a 24-hour drive-through restaurant. Opponents say the restaurant would be too close to a nursery and primary school, would damage other businesses, and disrupt the fabric of a leafy community known for its artists and wildlife. But despite such fierce opposition, McDonald's says it will press ahead. The company says: "We have followed due process every step of the way to build a family restaurant on a highway that houses a number of food and service outlets. The area is appropriately zoned, we have an approved planning permit, and we are moving forward. We know that there is much support in the community and our obligation is to ensure that those who want a McDonald's in the community have that option." Bollocks. Most of this "support" is coming from the bureaucrats running the show in Tecoma, who have bowled underarm just so McDonald's can have their way. This is not how a responsible city government should act.

No nipples please, we're Kiwis

New Zealand is making headlines overseas for refusing to allow naked breasts in a cancer campaign on television. A controversial advert - first aired in the UK - shows real pictures of women's breasts affected by cancer. The campaign resulted in a 50 percent rise in the number of women contacting their GP about breast cancer. But New Zealand's Commercial Approval Bureau, an industry body that classifies ads on behalf of broadcasters, has told health campaigners that nipples aren't permitted on TV adverts here. The newspaper Herald Scotland carried the story and quoted a breast cancer survivor who said it was "quite tragic" the ad wasn't being played in New Zealand. "That advert saved my life," Janet Brodie said, saying she went to the doctor only after seeing the advert and recognising she had some signs of breast cancer. "We're in the 21st century and if it helps one person to go to their doctor and do what they've got to do, if it saves one person's life, it should be shown," she said. The New Zealand Breast Cancer Foundation argues the importance of knowing all the signs and symptoms far outweighs the commercial watchdog's concerns. I agree with the foundation on that one. It's not like there's anyone jacking off in the background. But enough about that because in other cancer-related news, a commonly used blood pressure drug could help fight cancer by opening up blood vessels in solid tumours. Used beside conventional cancer-fighting drugs, it could improve life expectancy, experts believe. Following successful testing in mice, doctors plan to give losartan to patients with pancreatic cancer to see if it can tackle this hard-to-treat disease. Currently, only 5% of pancreatic cancer patients survive for at least 5 years. This is partly because only one in 10 people with the disease has a tumour that is operable.

1300 POSTS!

US government agencies were ordered to close for the first time in more than 17 years after lawmakers stalemated over Republican efforts to block President Obama's healthcare law. More than 800,000 federal workers were to spend today, the first day of the new fiscal year, on unpaid furloughs as agency managers executed contingency plans for the costly process of closing down operations indefinitely. The official word to shut down came from the White House just before midnight (Eastern Daylight Time). Hours earlier, the Senate, by a 54-46 party-line vote, killed a House measure that would have funded government agencies for six weeks but delayed key parts of Obamacare for a year. But enough about that because a fast-food chain in Washington is promising free hamburgers to federal workers who now find themselves furloughed by the shutdown. “If people don’t go to work, they can come and get a burger” at four Z-Burger locations in the national capital region at noon hour and again in the early evening, the chain's founder Peter Tabibian told AFP. Tabibian, whose family emigrated from Iran in the 1980s, acknowledged that he’s going to lose money “if this thing goes on for 20 days,” but he said he wanted to help out civil servants who are a big part of his clientele. But this offer isn't open to just anybody. The offer is open to furloughed federal employees and contractors upon presentation of an ID card, as well as municipal workers in Washington, which as a federal district is overseen by Congress. By one estimate, there are 320,000 federal employees in Washington and its adjacent suburbs, representing about 15 percent of the entire federal government payroll. For the national capital, a federal shutdown could see the shutdown of tourist attractions such as the Smithsonian museums. It could also trigger a suspension of rubbish collection and parking enforcement. This is why Congress needs to get it together. Unless both houses can sort out this Obamacare mess, the shutdown will continue to have a very real economic impact on real people.

Month ends with 14 bellends

The co-Bellends of the Month for September 2013 are Luis Anaya, Osael Romero, Ramon Sanchez, Christian Castillo, Miguel Granada, Miguel Montes, Dagoberto Portillo, Dennis Alas, Darwin Bonilla, Ramon Flores, Alfredo Pacheco, Mordecai Henriquez, Marvin Gonzalez, and Reynaldo Hernandez. El Salvador's football federation has imposed a life-time ban on all of the people in question for match-fixing. But there were eight more footballers involved, none of which have been named so far. Three players were banned for between six and 18 months, four remain under investigation, and only one of the 22 players involved was cleared. The players are accused of receiving bribes to throw matches such as a 5-0 defeat against Mexico in 2011 and a 4-2 loss against Paraguay last February. This is not cool. You shouldn't just throw a sporting contest like that. Not only does match-fixing put money in the hands of illegal gambling syndicates, it just takes the fun out of sport. Pro wrestling is the only sport that should ever be played to a pre-determined result.

Baggies bag home scalp

Manchester United slipped to a first home defeat of the season this morning as West Bromwich Albion posted a shock 2-1 victory over the Barclays Premier League champions at Old Trafford. Despite bouncing back from last weekend’s Manchester derby defeat with a rousing Capital One Cup victory over Liverpool a few days ago, David Moyes’ side were unable to break down the well-drilled visitors in open play, and succumbed to two fine goals - one by Morgan Amalfitano and the other by Saido Berahino. Wayne Rooney scored Manchester United's goal, and five players were yellow-carded.

Filmin' Saudi Style

Traditionally, Saudi Arabia hasn't had much time for film. The country boasts no cinemas (think Surinamese moviegoers have it bad?), and until last year, nothing but a handful of shorts had ever even been filmed on Saudi soil. It seems the country is looking to make a change, though. For the first time, Saudi Arabia's Association for Culture and Arts has submitted a film for consideration for an Oscar. This first is especially momentous in light of the fact that the writer-director also happens to be a woman. The film is named "Wadjda" after its protagonist, a young girl who wants to own a bike. The story, created by Saudi's first female director, Haifaa Al Mansour, is a parable for female independence in a country renowned for setting limits on women's movements and ambitions. But enough about that because there is a more serious matter at hand: cruising at 9,000 metres, pilots snoozed in the cockpit of a 300-passenger airliner en route to Britain last August, UK aviation authorities told CNN on Thursday. A spokesman for the UK's Civil Aviation Authority says that the Airbus A330 incident occurred while the aircraft was operating on autopilot on a long-distance flight. The CAA wouldn't reveal any other details of the flight, its route, or its destination airport, but sources say the offending airline is Virgin Atlantic. British pilots are allowed to sleep while in the cockpit under certain circumstances, but the pilots reported having only five hours of sleep over two nights "due to longer duty period with insufficient opportunity to sleep," the CAA report states. "Both crew rested for 20 minute rotations and fell asleep." "You can't have five hours of sleep in two days," says veteran airline pilot and aviation consultant Mark Weiss. "That doesn't work." There's no excuse for this rubbish. Falling asleep on the job is NEVER a good idea, especially if you're a pilot. There needs to be at least one person in the cockpit awake and able to fly the plane, otherwise the plane could've crashed and everybody on board could've died. You can't just both fall asleep with nobody to fly the plane during your period of simultaneous slumber, especially if my niece (pictured) is on board.

Winding back the clocks

Spanish MPs are to consider changing time zones by an hour after a report said this would improve eating, sleeping, and working habits. The document by a parliamentary commission said that "Spain for more than 71 years has not been in the correct time zone". In 1942, the Spanish dictator General Franco moved Spain onto Central European Time to follow Nazi Germany. The report says Spain should be in the same time zone as the UK, Ireland, and Portugal. Spain - on the western edge of Europe - is currently one hour ahead of GMT during the winter and two hours ahead in the summer. "We sleep almost an hour less than the World Health Organization recommends," the commission said. "All this has a negative effect on productivity, absenteeism, stress, accidents, and school drop-out rates." It said that following the "wrong clock" explained why Spaniards tended to eat, leave work, and go to bed later than their European neighbours. If they want to shift everyone back an hour, that's fine. But what isn't fine, however, is that the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has said a Russian law banning "homosexual propaganda among minors" does not breach the Olympic charter. That is bollocks. Rights campaigners said the IOC "had abandoned the gay community", and they were right in saying those things. Russia, as Winter Olympic host, has come under criticism over the legislation - passed in June - which forbids "propaganda of non-traditional sexual relations among minors". Gay athletes and visitors to the games have voiced concern that the laws may be used against them.

Oracle receive much-needed miracle

Many regattas ago, when Jimmy Spithill had not yet won the grandest prize in yachting, one of his mentors, the Australian Syd Fischer, gave him words to sail by. “Syd used to say to me when something was going good, ‘Be careful,’” Spithill said, “‘because you can be a rooster one day and a feather duster the next.’” A sailor had to be careful indeed in the 34th America’s Cup, which generated historically fast speeds and risks in carbon-fiber foiling catamarans that bore a greater resemblance to flying machines than boats. But while it once looked all but certain that Spithill, the Oracle Team USA skipper and helmsman, and his crew mates were going to end up as feather dusters in San Francisco, they were ultimately able to turn Fischer’s catchphrase on its head, pulling off the greatest comeback in America’s Cup history and one of the most dramatic in any sport. There have been comebacks before (for instance an NFL playoff game between the Buffalo Bills and the Houston Oilers in 1993, where the Bills recovered from a 32-point deficit in the third quarter to win 41-38 in overtime) but none like this one. While this is a great disappointment for Team New Zealand, I'm surprised that Oracle could pull this one off especially with a two-race penalty for using an illegally modified boat in a practice run. Good job, bellends. Hope you enjoy your victory because you will be defeated one of these days.

Parking space fight soon to claim its second victim

A court in China has sentenced a man to death for killing a two-year-old girl in Beijing over a parking space row. Han Lei, who committed the crime within a year of being released from prison, pulled the toddler out of her pram and threw her to the ground after her mother refused to make way for his car in July. He fled the scene but was captured. The girl later died from her injuries. He said the killing was unintentional, as he was drunk and had thought the pram was a shopping cart. "I did not know there was an infant inside," he previously said. It doesn't matter. He killed a child and he should be made to pay the price. If that were my niece (pictured) in that pram, I would definitely be pushing for the death penalty.

WEEKLY GROSS-OUT: White supremacy

This will be our last Weekly Gross-Out. Sometime next month, I will launch a new weekly feature tentatively known as the Bad Idea of the Week. But let's end this feature with a well-deserved bang: a tranquil town in North Dakota could lose its serenity if one man has his way. Paul Craig Cobb wants to transform Leith, population 24, into a community that mirrors his white supremacist views. Cobb said he envisions Leith as a place where white nationalist banners will be flown, where white culture would be celebrated, and where minorities would not be welcome. His white power takeover would begin with getting political control over Leith. But his ambitions go way beyond this one small town. Cobb said he wants this movement to spread to other communities, other nations, even around the world, though he does not explain how he would do this. I wouldn't want to because no explanation in the world can justify such bigoted behaviour. Leith's lone black resident, Bobby Harper, feels under threat because of those bellends. Minorities have already suffered enough throughout history.

Reds sink further without Sir Alex

A powerful display from Manchester City this morning at Etihad Stadium condemned Manchester United to a 4-1 defeat in a chastening local derby for the Barclays Premier League champions, one which just serves to prove my point that David Moyes was not the right person to be stepping in Sir Alex's shoes. Wayne Rooney scored Manchester United's only goal, while Man City scored two goals courtesy of Sergio Aguero, one by Yaya Toure, and one by Samir Nasri. One Man City player was yellow-carded.

Late apologies and new systems

The British government has apologised to people in Cornwall affected by the Camelford water poisoning in 1988. When 20 tonnes of aluminium sulphate were tipped into the wrong tank at Lowermoor treatment works, it contaminated the water to 20,000 homes. Health Minister Anna Soubry and Environment Minister Richard Benyon said they apologised "unreservedly" on the government's behalf. Local MP Dan Rogerson said the apology was welcome but 25 years late. You won't have to wait nearly as long, however, for a planned alternative to the Android mobile operating system that just got a huge funding boost. That's right, a team of Android programmers has raised a US$7m investment to turn their hobby project into a rival to Google's phone operating system. The CyanogenMod lets phone users swap the official version of Android for one that gives them more control over their phone or tablet. It has reportedly been installed on over seven million Android devices. The investment has helped found a company to employ the coders, who have been working on the project unpaid. I'm sure it will all be worth it when the final project starts to become more popular than the Android.

World Cup goes into cool-down mode

The prospect of a winter World Cup in 2022 looks set to become a reality after Europe's football associations voted against holding the tournament in the Qatari summer. All 54 member associations of UEFA, Europe's governing body, backed the decision at a meeting in Croatia on Thursday. "They all agreed that this competition could not take place in the heat of Qatar in the summer," FIFA vice-president Jim Boyce told CNN. "At the end of the day common sense has to prevail here and I'm glad at long last common sense has prevailed," he added. FIFA, the game's world governing body, has been considering the option of moving the tournament because of fears that players and fans would be adversely affected by the searing heat, which can reach 50 degrees Celsius during the summer. If you want to cool down the stadiums for health and safety reasons, that's probably the right thing to do, but one must remember that this is a World Cup and there is no cooling down the ambience of a World Cup, especially if nobody has been able to successfully defend it since 1962. That won't matter when you go shopping for your next phone, though, because when it comes to new iPhones, bling is the thing. Early buyers of the iPhone 5S, which went on sale yesterday morning, appear to be overwhelmingly choosing the gold-colored model over the two other color options. People trying to buy a gold phone in Apple's online store yesterday saw a message stating the phone will not ship until October. By contrast, Apple said the silver and "space gray" models will be shipped in 7 to 10 business days. That's true for all three disk sizes of the phone, be they 16, 32, or 64 gigs of storage. But I won't be shelling out cash on those babies until they're cheaper.

Nintendo chief Nintendead

Hiroshi Yamauchi, who built Nintendo from a small playing-card company into a global video-gaming empire before buying the Seattle Mariners, has died in Japan at the age of 85. Yamauchi took over the company from his ailing grandfather as a university student in 1949 and ran it until 2002 - a remarkable span of 53 years. He guided Nintendo from its pre-electronic days as a maker of children's games through its emergence as the creator of hugely popular video-gaming platforms such as the Nintendo Entertainment System, the Game Boy, hit games such as "Donkey Kong", and iconic characters such as Mario, the mustachioed Italian plumber. And speaking of plumbers, a plumber and his heating firm face five charges including manslaughter after the death of a woman from acute carbon-monoxide poisoning in the bedroom of an Irish hotel. Richard Davis of Ballygarvan, County Cork is charged with manslaughter over the death of Miriam Reidy who was discovered unconscious in the Trident Hotel in Kinsale, County Cork on January 9 2011. Reidy, a Tralee based bank worker originally from Ballyhahill, County Limerick, was in Kinsale attending a hen party for a cousin that weekend. A Cork coroner’s inquest into her death heard that, when she was discovered in Room 113, she had a 57pc blood saturation rate for carbon-monoxide, far into the fatal range which extends from 40pc-50pc. As a result, Davis is charged with the manslaughter of Ms Reidy. As a director of Davis Heating and Plumbing Contractors Ltd, he also faces two further charges brought under the Safety, Health, and Welfare at Work Act. The charges allege that, around January 4 2011, he failed to properly manage the conversion of a Worcester Bosch Greenstar boiler at the Trident Hotel for use with liquid petroleum gas, meaning that "individuals at their place of work were exposed to risks to their safety, health, and welfare" and that, as a result, Ms Reidy suffered injury and died. Two fresh charges were brought against Davis Heating and Plumbing Contractors Ltd of Unit 9, Portside, Marina Commercial Park, Centre Park Road, Cork. These are similar to other two Safety, Health, and Welfare at Work Act charges brought against Davis as a director of the same firm. This is why tradespeople need to be more on to it as far as managing risks on the job goes. Had said conversion to LPG been handled better, then there wouldn't have been so much carbon monoxide leaking into the rooms and maybe Reidy would still be alive today. Also, Davis wouldn't have such a pile of charges to deal with.

Drunk on the Water

Even though this prank is probably a viral marketing ploy by New Zealand brewers Tui, that is beside the point. The point is one lucky guy has his house plumbed with beer. In what would have to be the greatest prank ever played, every single tap is hooked up to kegs of nicely chilled refreshing ale. The kitchen. The bathroom sink. The shower. The laundry tub. In fact, the victim's alleged buddies (a crack team of pranking pros including a licensed plumber) seem to have left only the toilet cistern off the list, which, frankly, is probably for the best. Also for the best would be if they had thought about the other potential occupants of the house. There could have been people who choose not to drink for religious or other reasons. There could have been kids under the legal drinking age (which is 18 here). There could have even been some recovering alcoholics in the house. If you want to see the prank in action, click here.

Cooling down the Cup

FIFA's decision to award the 2022 World Cup to Qatar, where temperatures can reach up to 50 degrees Celsius during the summer, has stirred plenty of simmering tensions in football's global community - but is it about to boil over into costly demands for compensation? Yesterday, football's world governing body FIFA insisted it will not be liable for compensation if the 2022 World Cup is staged in winter rather than summer. They should be because a lot of countries have their major tournaments during the Northern Hemisphere winter, and their best players wouldn't be available for their club commitments during that time. If the 2022 World Cup is moved, then FIFA should offer compensation to those nations affected by a major rescheduling of global football's 2021-22 or 2022-23 (as the case may be) calendar.

WEEKLY GROSS-OUT: Poland under Tusk

Tens of thousands of Poles marched through Warsaw last week during protests against proposed labour law changes. The protesters demanded a higher minimum wage, greater job security, and the repeal of a law raising the retirement age to 67. Many carried banners calling for Prime Minister Donald Tusk to resign, and he probably should because the ruling centre-right coalition's popularity has plummeted to its lowest level since Mr Tusk took power in 2007. He should be lucky that Poland remains the only country in the European Union to have avoided a recession since the crisis began. But the economy is just coming out of its worst slump in years, and the protesters say it still lags behind its neighbours to the west. So Mr Tusk should either get it together or resign.

Traitor Shot Down

South Korean troops have shot dead a man trying to swim across a border river into the North. Soldiers opened fire after the man jumped into the Imjin river and ignored repeated warnings to stop. The man, who has not yet been identified, was spotted by guards near the western border in Paju, north of Seoul, a few hours ago. Soldiers fired off warning shots and told him to return to the South. When he disobeyed the order and jumped into the river, he was shot dead. It serves him right. North Korea is one of the worst places anybody could live in. Kim Jong-un spent a ridiculous amount of money on a failed rocket launch last year. Nobody should be defecting there - all defection across the Demilitarised Zone should instead be north to south. There may be thousands of North Korean defectors living in South Korea, but few in their right minds would be stupid enough to even attempt to make the journey the other way.

New manager finally playing ball

Manchester United collected a first home league win under David Moyes this morning by seeing off a ten-man Crystal Palace with a goal in each half through Robin van Persie and the returning Wayne Rooney. Other than Manchester United going back to their winning ways after a draw and a loss, the key moment at Old Trafford came on the stroke of half-time when the home side were awarded a contentious penalty which led to the dismissal of Kagisho Dikgacoi, and ensured an uphill struggle for the visitors in the second 45 minutes. Other than that one red, there were three yellow cards all up.

Cape Verde not going to Brazil

Cape Verde have been disqualified from the African play-offs for the 2014 World Cup for fielding an ineligible player in Saturday's group qualifier against Tunisia. The Tunisians will now be in the draw on 16 September instead of Cape Verde. Fifa ruled that Fernando Varela should not have played in his side's 2-0 win, as he had not completed a suspension. Fifa said Verela "failed to serve a four-match suspension imposed on him after receiving a red card for unsporting conduct towards a match official during a World Cup qualifier on 24 March". Cape Verde Football Association has also been fined US$6,400. This really is a big blow for such a small group of islands. With a population of just over half a million, if the islanders had gone onto eventually qualify for Brazil next year they would have been the smallest ever African nation to play at the World Cup. But that will not be at this point in time. Cape Verde will not get a taste at World Cup glory until at least 2018, all because they made the stupid mistake of fielding a suspended player. Ironically, Cape Verde were awarded the points from the match in March, when Varela was sent off, after Fifa ruled opponents Equatorial Guinea had used an ineligible player. Equatorial Guinea originally won the match 4-3 only for the result to be overturned when Fifa decided Emilio Nsue Lopez did not meet eligibility rules on nationality.

Voyager voyages outside of the Solar System

The Voyager-1 spacecraft has become the first manmade object to leave the Solar System. Scientists say the probe's instruments indicate it has moved beyond the bubble of hot gas from our Sun and is now moving in the space between the stars. Launched in 1977, Voyager was sent initially to study the outer planets, but then just kept on going. Today, the veteran Nasa mission is almost 19 billion km from home. This distance is so vast that it takes 17 hours now for a radio signal sent from Voyager to reach receivers here on Earth. But what will not be leaving our Solar System for now is Twitter, which has filed for an initial public offering of stock. The company sent its filing confidentially to the Securities and Exchange Commission. Many soon-to-be-public companies have been taking advantage of new regulations passed last year in the Jumpstart Our Business Startups (JOBS) Act, which allows smaller businesses to keep its financial data out of the public's eye. Under the act, companies with less than US$1 billion of annual revenue can file for confidential IPOs. Nevertheless, it's a good time for Twitter to be going public, since the stock market has been treating social networks particularly well lately. After bumpy starts, both Facebook and LinkedIn hit all-time highs on Wednesday. But if precedent is followed, the social networking bubble will one day burst, so enjoy it while you can. And it's not just social networks who are after a piece of the pie - Hilton Worldwide has filed for an initial public offering to raise up to US$1.25 billion. It is being sold by the private equity group Blackstone, which bought Hilton in 2007 for US$26.7 billion. Blackstone's filing did not say how much of Hilton it plans to sell or which stock exchange it will use. It will use the proceeds to pay off debt.

Cash without the card

New technology to enable people to withdraw money from cash machines using their smartphone has been unveiled, and is in use by two British banks. Customers who use the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) or NatWest mobile banking app can now request cash, up to £100, via their smartphone. They are given a six-digit code to enter into an ATM to release the cash. But this could raise a very serious security issue: if somebody stole your phone, then all they'd need would be your password and they could use the app to take all the money out of your account - 100 quid at a time. But enough about that because a Canadian national has been arrested in Colombia after trying to board a flight to Toronto with a phony pregnant belly stuffed with cocaine. The tourist had entered Colombia at the beginning of August and was about to board a flight to return to Toronto, when a policewoman asked her how long she had been pregnant. "She didn't like the question, which made the official suspicious. Instinctively, she then very delicately touched the lady's belly, realising it was too hard and extremely cold," said the deputy director of Colombia's police anti-narcotics section, Colonel Esteban Arias Melo. After performing a body search, the police found two sealed bags stashed inside the latex belly, which contained 2kg of cocaine. Colombian authorities say the Canadian national will be charged with drug trafficking, possession, and production. She could be sentenced to between five and eight years in prison.

Let's clear ALL the arteries

A new, relatively simple way of treating heart attacks could save thousands of lives, according to specialists at a Clydebank hospital. It involves clearing all narrowed arteries when someone is admitted with a heart attack, rather than just the one which is completely blocked. A trial, involving the Golden Jubilee National Hospital, was so successful that the research was stopped early. Jubilee heart specialist Prof Colin Berry said the results were "striking". This is looking to be a promising treatment, but there is one treatment that the whole world needs now: a military strike against Syria. But President Obama plans to call for a pause in the push for a congressional vote on military action in Syria, as the president waits to see if an emerging diplomatic option can work. The early details of the president’s national address show he is continuing to back off his “red line” threat to take military action against President Bashar al-Assad's regime for its use of chemical weapons. Though his Secretary of State, John Kerry, seemed to push for a congressional vote during testimony on Capitol Hill earlier in the day, officials said Obama is now hitting pause on that process. Whatever Obama's angle is with his "diplomatic solution", it will never work. Violence is the only thing that a despot like Assad will understand. We need to act against that douche NOW. Chemical weapons are not on, and he needs to be taught that.

WEEKLY GROSS-OUT: Microsoft Surface

Undaunted by sluggish sales of the Surface RT and Surface Pro tablets, Microsoft is preparing to release a second-generation model of the device, the Surface 2. The Redmond-based technology giant has sent invitations to the media for a special event on Sept. 23 in New York, where it will unveil the Surface 2 and the Surface Pro 2 tablets - the updated versions of the existing Surface RT and Surface Pro models. Although the company was recently rumored to launch a Surface mini tablet soon, sources have said that such a product will not be part of the upcoming event. However, the Surface 2 and Surface Pro 2 will feature a two-stage kickstand, but the main form factor of both new tablets is expected to be very similar to that of the current models. That doesn't even matter to me because like I always say, if it's not an Apple, it's crapple. Microsoft's products will never in a million years stack up to the pure awesomeness of Apple devices. And speaking of Apple, their invitation to an event at its Cupertino headquarters today (Pacific Daylight Time) promises to "brighten everyone's day". Shown via satellite link in Europe, the event will also be shown to a select group of guests in China. Even though the iPhone maker has said nothing about what is ahead, its vast supply chain in China has leaked enough details over the past few months that seasoned observers feel sure about what Apple has in store. There will be a top-end "iPhone 5S", looking like last year's iPhone 5, and it will be available in black, white, and "champagne" – a cross between gold and beige – which may include a fingerprint sensor for unlocking, and double-speed video capture. And then there will be a cheaper "iPhone 5C" – with the same screen size as the iPhone 5, but with a tough plastic back, and in multiple colours, including strawberry red, blue, lime green, yellow, and white. Those colours are how it aims to "brighten"; that, and the new iOS 7 software, designed by Sir Jonathan Ive, which brings more primary colours to the fore.

Monkey takes the testis

Before we start, today is the 500th anniversary of the Battle of Flodden, which was a conflict between the Kingdom of England and the Kingdom of Scotland. The battle was fought in the county of Northumberland in northern England on 9 September 1513, between an invading Scots army under King James IV and an English army commanded by the Earl of Surrey. It was an English victory. In terms of troop numbers, it was the largest battle fought between the two Kingdoms. James IV was killed in the battle, becoming the last monarch from the British Isles to suffer such a death. Speaking of death, every day the possibility of the US and France leading military action against Syria edges closer. If it happens, it will mark another twist in a long and complex relationship. Barack Obama and Francois Hollande were the only two leaders at the G20 meeting in Moscow committed to using force against Syria. They make a pretty unexpected coalition of the willing, when you remember the American anti-French backlash over Iraq a decade ago, when french fries were off the menu and French wine down the plug-hole. But there persisted a belief among some Americans that the French were too ready to give up without a fight, a sentiment that entered popular culture in a Simpsons episode in 1995 that characterised the French as "cheese-eating surrender monkeys". And speaking of monkeys, an eight month old baby is recovering in hospital after a monkey tore off one of his testicles before running away and eating it. The distressing attack took place at the Guiyang Qianling Wildlife Park in Guiyang, the capital of Guizhou province in Southwest China. The mother was changing her son's nappy when the animal attacked, ripping off the testicle before dropping it onto the ground. An elderly man then reportedly picked up the severed appendage but the monkey snatched it from his hand before scampering away and eating it. This is why we need to be more careful around creatures like monkeys. Next time, it could be one of your balls that gets torn off and eaten by a monkey.

...AND TOKYO GETS 2020!

That's right, Tokyo has been selected as the host city for the 2020 Summer Olympics. The announcement came at 5:20 a.m. Tokyo time (8:20am New Zealand time), but a large crowd watching on an outdoor video screen burst into cheers. Tokyo previously hosted the Summer Games in 1964. Japan's bid for 2020 billed the city as the safe choice - despite radiation leaking from the Fukushima nuclear plant. Prime Minister Shinzo Abe personally made a presentation to the committee and promised an effective cleanup. But that's not all there is to discuss tonight. Now it can be hard for families to agree on where to go for dinner or any family outing. Case in point: following 45 minutes of intense arguing and bitter protests, a heated screaming match between members of the Carroll family of Wheaton, Illinois came to an end on Thursday evening with a consensus to eat dinner at Macaroni Grill. The emotionally charged dispute among the family of four, in which parents and children alike alternately shouted insults across the kitchen and sharply criticized each other’s character and food preferences, reportedly concluded when all parties eventually agreed that Macaroni Grill, an Italian-inspired chain eatery, was an acceptable choice for their weekly family restaurant night. The quarrel is said to have escalated within minutes, as family members could be heard yelling the phrases “I’m f***ing sick of this,” “Cheesecake Factory is off the table,” “I hate pasta,” and “Don’t put words in my mouth” throughout the suburban residence. According to accounts, the protracted period of fierce squabbling included numerous threats to leave the house, repeated usages of the word “unfair,” several personal accusations entirely unrelated to the argument at hand, and suggestions for alternate dinner plans — including Chili’s and California Pizza Kitchen — that were swiftly and angrily rejected. So just be aware of that next time you want to plan a family outing.

One city, one sport, one president

The host city for the 2020 summer Olympics and Paralympics will be chosen in Buenos Aires this afternoon (local time). Istanbul, Tokyo, and Madrid (which are all struggling to overcome negative aspects that could torpedo their bids) are the contenders in a secret ballot that will be announced today at 5pm local time (8am tomorrow New Zealand Standard Time). International Olympic Committee (IOC) members will also decide which one of squash, baseball/softball (joint bid), or wrestling will be added to the Olympic Games programme in 2020. A new IOC president will also be chosen to replace the outgoing Jacques Rogge. But enough about that because thousands of Cambodians are taking part in a rally in Phnom Penh to protest against alleged electoral fraud. The main opposition - the Cambodia National Rescue Party - is leading the protest. It claims there was widespread rigging in July's election, which was narrowly won by Prime Minister Hun Sen. Of course there was rigging involved. Cambodian elections have often been marred by allegations of fraud, and this year's was no exception. Whoever's behind the rigging, you'd better stop it. This sort of rubbish is greedy and unfair.

Bacon humiliated by Curry

It may be Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters' 70th birthday today, but that's not the topic of today's post. A university graduate says he was left humiliated after being asked to dance to a Daft Punk song during a job interview at an electronics superstore. 21-year-old Alan Bacon thought working at Currys in Cardiff would be ideal given his love of cameras, and he spent a week preparing for the interview. But instead of showcasing his skills, he ended up doing robotic-style dancing "like a scene out of [BBC TV comedy] The Office". "I think everyone initially thought it was a joke," said Mr Bacon, whose ambition is to make science documentaries. "But they were serious. All professionalism went out the window. I'd spent the past week researching the company and looking forward to being able to express myself and talk about what I love doing. But I just felt so embarrassed and uncomfortable. I ended up dancing to Around the World by Daft Punk, doing rubbish robotics in my suit in front of a group of strangers. I told my dad it was like a scene out of The Office. I would have walked out but I need a job. Another middle aged guy looked really upset as he danced to a rap song." Even after being put through all that humiliation, Mr Bacon, who had moved to Cardiff from Newport in the hope that it would help his job search, didn't get the Currys job and is still looking for work. This is not what a job interview should be. Maybe if it was an audition for a part in a TV advertisement or similar, but not in a job interview for an electronics store. Making your employees-to-be dance like total bellends is completely unprofessional outside of show business, and should be left to show business.

Smartwatch Style

Samsung has unveiled a smartwatch with a colour screen that can show alerts, be used for voice calls, and run apps. The Galaxy Gear had been highly anticipated since the firm is currently the world's best-selling smartphone maker and has beaten Microsoft, Apple, and Google to unveil such a device. Samsung called it a "fashion icon". However, analysts warned that a decision to limit the watch to working as an accessory to other Galaxy Android devices might limit its appeal. Also limiting its appeal is the fact that it's not an Apple. Apple products are clearly better than devices running crappy alternatives like Android. And Apple are set to reveal some new iPhones next week.

Team New Zealand two races closer to the America's Cup

Oracle Team USA have been docked two points and had three crew members banned in the most severe penalties in the America's Cup 162-year history. An international jury found them guilty of illegally modifying catamarans and also fined them US$250,000. The unauthorised modifications were of 45-foot wing-powered catamarans that were prototypes for the 72-footers being sailed in the America's Cup regatta. The jury found that weight had been added and the main king post had been extended in length without the consent of the measurement committee. Emirates Team New Zealand face defending champions Oracle in the best-of-17 series which starts on Saturday, and following the penalties, Oracle will now need 11 victories to win the series while New Zealand require only nine. This is not only good news for the people of New Zealand, not all of whom even care about sailing, but also for sport in general because more cheats have finally experienced their well-deserved fall from grace. We do not need this unfair play in sailing, or in any sport for that matter. In other sporting news, the Rio anti-doping laboratory which was to be used for the 2014 World Cup and 2016 Olympics in Brazil has had its right to test samples revoked. The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) suspended the laboratory for a second time in August and will revoke its status on 25 September for failing to meet international standards. The lab can appeal to the Court of Arbitration for Sport within 21 days, and can re-apply for accreditation and seek "fast track" process from WADA.

WEEKLY GROSS-OUT: Flora

What is Flora? Flora is a brand of margarine sold in the UK, Czech Republic, Ireland, Finland, Sweden, Spain, Poland, Hungary, Portugal, South Africa, Hong Kong, Singapore, New Zealand, and Australia. Said brand, owned by Unilever, has long promoted its margarine as helping consumers maintain a healthy heart. But Unilever says it has ordered the withdrawal of a Flora margarine advertisement in South Africa that has been condemned as homophobic. The advert features a bullet with the words "Uhh dad I'm gay" flying towards a heart made of china. The advert, on a pink background, includes the tagline "You need a strong heart today" near the Flora logo. Another variation has the words "Kama Sutra page 48" flying towards a glass heart on an orange background. While you do need a strong heart, this was not the best way to get the message across. Those ads are homophobic and there is no need for them in this day and age. People should be more careful about how they advertise their business.

Moyes on the fast track to failure

Manchester United slipped to a first defeat of the 2013/14 season as Daniel Sturridge's early header for Liverpool decided a fractious meeting at Anfield this morning. This means only one win out of three games for the Reds under David Moyes. I knew he wasn't the right man for the Reds. He will be lucky if his team stays in the Premiership next season. Also in the match, six players were yellow-carded.

Trading iPhones

Confirming earlier rumours, Apple launched a new program on Friday (Pacific Daylight Time) that will allow customers to trade in old iPhones at US Apple stores for credit towards a newer model. In addition to helping support the environment, the program lets customers receive a credit for their returned phone that they can use toward the purchase of a new iPhone - most likely the next iPhone, expected to go on sale this month - provided the new phone comes with a wireless contract. But the most Apple will credit someone for an old device is US$280, and the store credit needs to be used on a new iPhone. While this does sound like a good idea, they could improve it somewhat, one of those ways being to allow Android users to trade their inferior devices for what is clearly a better model. But enough about that because in the aftermath of a failed relationship, jilted lovers have been known to lash out by posting sexually explicit photos or videos of their exes online. Called "revenge porn," or the less-salacious "cyber revenge," the trend has been around for years, spawning entire websites that profit off these images. But now, state laws could make this illegal. For example, the California Legislature is debating a new bill that would make it a misdemeanor for people to distribute sexually explicit photos or videos they'd shot in order to cause others humiliation or distress. It has already passed the state Senate. A similar bill was under consideration in Florida this year that would have made the act a felony, but it failed to muster the votes to become law. New Jersey is the only state that already has such a law on the books.