BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Shoving eggs in butts

The co-Bellends of the Month for September 2014 are Nathan Smith and his half brother Daniel Yeates. They are the two men charged in the death of Phillip Coombs, who was found with a shaved head, his left eyebrow missing, obscene writing on his head, and two hard-boiled eggs up his butt. It may sound funny, but it's not because a) Coombs died, and b) Smith and Yeates are facing charges of sexual assault by penetration and assault causing bodily harm in the January death of Coombs. The court in Bristol heard alcoholic Coombs passed out at Yeates' house after a bout of heavy drinking and taking drugs. It was then that Coombs was "subjected to a series of degrading acts, which included shaving his head, his left eyebrow, pubic hair; writing with pen on his head, cutting his right buttock, and then inserting two hard-boiled eggs into his anus," prosecutor Sarah Regan was quoted telling the court. It is important to note the accused men are not charged with Coombs' death, just the degrading abuse he suffered in what appears to be a drunken prank. And one must remember that it's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt.

Yellow, meet yellow

That's right, people - on the back of Krusty's father dying and Family Guy visiting Springfield, The Simpsons will soon begin streaming in China, as part of a new multi-year deal between Fox and Sohu, a minor colossus in the competitive world of Chinese Web portals. While more popular sites like Baidu and Sina Weibo have won over young users by investing in gaming and social networking, Sohu, an early pioneer on the Chinese Internet, has turned to streaming video. Partnerships with Hollywood have proved to be an effective, though scattershot, way of attracting traffic: if you license four hundred movies and TV series at once, and dump them behind a very modest paywall, some are bound to find an audience. Even a show as exotic to the typical Chinese teenager as Gossip Girl can be assured tens of thousands of devoted viewers. So look around the web - you can always find something just as good.

West Ham hammed at the hands of LVG

Wayne Rooney scored and was red-carded as Manchester United secured a hard-earned 2-1 triumph over West Ham at Old Trafford. Rooney and Robin van Persie gave the Reds a commanding early lead but Diafra Sakho's effort, also before the break, made for a nervous second half, exacerbated by the decision to send off the home skipper with around half an hour still to go. Other than the red card, there were no other cards shown, but at least Loser van Gaal didn't lose again. It remains to be seen, though, whether a Dutchman can be a viable replacement for Sir Alex, and if not, the club can always fire him late in the season like they did with Moyes.

Canes Ahoy!

Lawmakers in the conservative Muslim Indonesian province of Aceh have passed a law that punishes gay sex by public caning and subjects non-Muslims to the region's strict interpretation of Islamic sharia law. Human rights groups have said the law violates international treaties signed by Indonesia protecting the rights of minorities and women. Gay rights activist King Oey urged the central government's new moderate leadership to use its influence to overturn the law, or appeal it at the Constitutional Court. "It's discriminatory and saddening," he said. "We urge people who are concerned with human rights will not sit by silently." The measure was passed by the 69-member assembly unanimously this morning (their time) after hours of debate, just days before a new 81-member regional parliament takes over next week, said lawmaker Mahyaruddin Yusuf from the Islamic-based Prosperous Justice Party. The law says anal sex between men is punishable by up to 100 lashes of the cane. Women found guilty of "rubbing" their body parts against each other for sexual pleasure are also liable for caning. That's right, caning - over something one doesn't choose. It's a violation of their right to be different, and besides, there is the chance they may enjoy it (or so the stereotype goes). And besides, people convicted of adultery, gambling, and consuming alcohol already face caning, as do women wearing tight clothes and people who skip Friday Muslim prayers.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

It was as good as they said it would be. Seriously, people, go see it. Like, right now.

The cast just keeps getting bigger

Today saw the announcement that Liam Neeson and John Slattery would be in the Ted sequel. Unlike Morgan Freeman's part, which was revealed two weeks ago as a famous civil rights attorney that Ted will seek legal advice from, their parts are unknown. Freeman two weeks ago, Dennis Haysbert one week ago, and Neeson just now. Every week this film gets more actors. So far, Ted 2 features the return of a number of the original cast (Mark Wahlberg, Jessica Barth, Patrick Warburton, and maybe Mila Kunis in a limited role), people recruited from Seth MacFarlane's other movie A Million Ways to Die in the West (Neeson and Amanda Seyfried), and some newcomers (Slattery, Michael Dorn, and Richard Schiff). The weird thing about this is by the end of the year, dead people could be announcing their cameos. Maybe I'm just exaggerating, but this could be the only 2015 release to feature Marlon Brando, the original Lassie, and the ruby slippers from The Wizard of Oz. If that happens, then Robin Williams could possibly come back from the dead for a cameo.

Fighting feminism with fire

Harry Potter star Emma Watson gave a speech at the United Nations urging men to join the fight for gender equality. Hackers have threatened to leak nude photos of the actress who stood up for a social cause. According to media reports, the 4chan website page which leaked nude celebrity pictures few days prior shows a countdown which says that images of the Harry Potter star would hit the internet in about four days. Late last night, under a photo of a weeping Watson and a countdown clock that had ticked down to zero, a message read, “We will launch earlier, tune in on September 24, 2014”. The user also posted “Watson makes stupid feminist speeches at UN, and now her nudes will be online, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH,” claiming that it is really going to happen and added, “feminist bitch was going to show the world she was as much of a whore as any woman,” media reported. That's not cool. Just because you don't agree with someone else's views doesn't give you the right to act like such a bellend. And besides, men should join the fight for gender equality.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Waiting for good shows to air in your country

Seriously, people, it's not worth it. Remember when Pam Dawber was on The Crazy Ones? I was brave enough to jump the queue, download it from The Pirate Bay, watch it, and review it here (click here to read it, but beware - it's combined with the Friday Film Beat for Noah) within just hours of it airing in the States instead of waiting seven long months for it to air in New Zealand like a chump. I am doing the same for Fox's new superhero series Gotham. A review of episode one will be posted here as soon as possible once I've watched it.

UPDATE: Here's the review I promised you - It. Was. Awesome. Just one episode in and I'm already hooked. It has only been 12 hours since it started on the East Coast and I'm already one of the first in New Zealand to have seen such a masterpiece. Can't wait for next week's episode.

LVG back to losing ways

Manchester United twice threw away a two-goal lead over Leicester City this morning to slip to a 5-3 defeat at King Power Stadium. Robin van Persie and Angel Di Maria put the Reds ahead within the first 16 minutes, before Leonardo Ulloa pulled one back almost immediately. Ander Herrera made it 3-1 early in the second half, but a controversial penalty, converted by David Nugent, sparked an astonishing turnaround. Esteban Cambiasso, Jamie Vardy, and an Ulloa spot-kick condemned United to a defeat that seemed almost impossible when Herrera had scored. Loser van Gaal made one change to the side that had eased to victory over QPR, handing Radamel Falcao his first start in place of Juan Mata. Not only did the Reds lose and one person per side get shown a yellow card, an afternoon to forget was sealed when Tyler Blackett fouled Vardy, earning a straight red card before Ulloa converted the spot-kick to confirm Leicester's victory.

Bitcoin headed for the pits

While many venture capitalists remain enthusiastic about the crypto-currency, this has not been a good season for Bitcoin. Since reaching a July high of nearly US$650, the price of Bitcoin has been on a steady decline. On Friday, it dropped below US$400. Why? It's called the burst of a bubble. All other such bubbles will one day burst. And speaking of burst, an accountant's face was "burst open" after an ex-colleage kicked him "full force" in the face in a pitch assault during a football match between friends. John Ryan, also an accountant, injured Connor Gaffney after the pair fought over a disputed tackle during the five-a-side game, which happened at the ESB Sports Co, South Lotts Road, Ringsend on 6 September 2013. Mr Gaffney told Dublin District Court his face was "burst open" after Mr Ryan aimed a "running kick" at him during the scuffle. Other players described the dispute as "handbags" before Mr Ryan lost his temper and kicked Mr Gaffney. Mr Ryan denied assaulting Mr Gaffney, saying he did not kick him deliberately and any contact that was made was in self defence as the victim punched him. Judge Bryan Smyth refused to accept the kick was accidental. He found Mr Ryan guilty of assault causing harm to Mr Gaffney and adjourned the case for a restorative justice programme report.

All caped up and no place to go

Supergirl now has a home. That's right, people of Earth - CBS has landed the high-profile DC Comics adaptation, handing out a hefty series commitment. The hourlong drama, taken out last week, centers on Kara Zor-El, Superman's cousin, who was born on the planet Krypton and escaped amid its destruction years ago. Since arriving on Earth, she has been hiding the powers she shares with her famous cousin. But now at age 24, she decides to embrace her superhuman abilities and be the hero she was always meant to be. The Supergirl pickup also means all five of the broadcast networks could have superhero-themed series on the air next season, with DC properties on four of the five. Fox on Monday launches its highly anticipated Batman prequel Gotham — which like Supergirl started with a series commitment; NBC has Hellblazer and Constantine due in October; CW has Flash and Arrow; and ABC, via Disney's deal with Marvel, has Agents of SHIELD and bridge series Agent Carter. For its part, Netflix also has four Marvel series and a mini, starting with Daredevil, but for Americans stuck with the Big Five, assuming at least one superhero show per network is renewed for 2015-16, there will no escaping the capes come next fall no matter which network your TV is tuned into (unless, of course, you plan your viewing in such a way that not one second of the superhero goodness pollutes your screen). And for you guys living elsewhere, you will have to either wait for them to air in your country (case in point: the episode of The Crazy Ones which guest-starred Pam Dawber still hasn't aired in New Zealand yet and isn't scheduled to do so until the 10th of November, which is exactly seven months after its original air date in the States) or download them off The Pirate Bay minutes after original broadcast like I'm going to do with Gotham and Agents of SHIELD this season.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: The Giver

Before we start our weekly film review, let's discuss t' referendum in Scotland. T' votes be in and it's lookin' t' be a no result for t' question "Should Scotland be an independent country?"

Now onto t' film review. This week, it be T' Giver. Based on t' 1993 novel by Lois Lowry, T' Giver be set in a society which be at first presented as utopian then gradually appear more and more dystopian. On Rotten Tomatoes, t' film holds a ratin' o' 33%, based on 114 reviews, with an average ratin' o' 5.3/10. T' consensus states: "Phillip Noyce directs T' Giver with visual grace, but t' movie doesn't dig deep enough into t' classic source material's thought-provokin' ideas." On Metacritic, t' film holds a score o' 47 out o' 100, based on 33 critics, indicatin' "mixed or average reviews." Richard Roeper gave t' film a "C", statin' that “t' magic [of t' novel] gets lost in translation”, but that t' film had its heart in t' starboard place. But don't let such mixed reviews fool ye. Ye should go see it an' make up ye own mind.

iOS 8 has finally arrived

While the people of Scotland are busy voting on whether or not to end a union with England dating back to 1707, Apple have released the latest version of its mobile operating system for iPhone and iPad users. Some new features include support for third-party keyboards (such as Swype), Touch ID for third-party apps, and new widgets for quick app alerts in the notification center. iOS 8 is compatible with any iPhone that's 4S or later, the fifth-generation iPod Touch, or any iPad released from the second generation on. Some features are specific to the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus, including Apple Pay. The mobile payments service, which works with the NFC chip in the new iPhones, will launch through an iOS 8 update for the 6 and 6 Plus in October. If your iDevice is compatible, you can download the software now by going to the settings app (Settings > General > Software Update) or by plugging your device into iTunes. Apple will also be shipping iOS 8 on its new iPhones, the 6 and 6 Plus. But don't count on an app called MiQueue to deduce which store will get your new iPhone the fastest because Apple has barred it from its App Store. MiQueue is the handicraft of a San Francisco startup called Miego Apps that crowdsources the dissemination of iPhone 6 line wait times so that people could choose where to go to buy Apple's latest smart phone. The app was designed to work by letting anyone waiting in line at an Apple Store share the wait time for buying an iPhone 6 or 6 Plus. That information would then be fed to other MiQueue users.

Droppin' the 'droid the Apple way

Apple releases iOS 8 tomorrow, and its next generation of iPhone later this week. With the new models approaching larger Android phones in terms of screen size, the company appears to be expecting a lot of people will make the switch from Samsung, HTC, and other devices to its iPhone. To that end, it's provided a guide to moving all your stuff from Android to iOS. The guide explains how new users can transfer their photos, music, documents, contacts, and calendars from their old device to their new one. It says users can utilize iTunes and iCloud to move information over, but the guide shows that Apple hasn't spent a lot of time making tools for moving data between operating systems. The company calls out a set of third-party apps of questionable quality — including AT&T's Mobile Transfer — as one of the best options for transferring data between devices. It's also not particularly useful in helping you continue to use your favorite apps: Apple says you'll "probably" find the ones you like, but you'll need to head to the App Store and dig them out yourself. To see what all the fuss is about, click here.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: All these celebrity deaths

Had she not died the day after Robin Williams, Lauren Bacall would be 90 today. Earlier this month, Joan Rivers joined them, and last week, British actor Sir Donald Sinden died at his home aged 90 following a long illness. He made his name on stage as a Shakespearean actor and appeared in more than 70 film and TV productions. He had been suffering from prostate cancer for several years, and died of the disease at his home in Kent. Although renowned for his theatre work, he was arguably best known to the masses for his TV appearances in the sitcom Never the Twain and the BBC legal drama Judge John Deed. But it's not as big a tragedy as the Colombian women's cycling team's new racing kit. The figure-hugging kit involves a flesh coloured section across the torso that gives the illusion the women are wearing nothing around their crotch.

Loser van Gaal fails to lose

Manchester United sealed a first win of the 2014/15 season yesterday as the Reds, inspired by new signing Angel Di Maria, romped to a 4-0 win over Queens Park Rangers at Old Trafford, and pulled it off without anybody on either side getting yellow-carded. Di Maria, playing his first match for the Reds in front of the home crowd, was in sizzling form throughout and he kicked off the scoring on 24 minutes with a curling free-kick. He played a part in United's second goal from Ander Herrera, before Wayne Rooney added a third before half-time. Di Maria then set up Juan Mata for a fourth after almost an hour. However, one win isn't going to be enough to reverse Man United's fortunes. They need to stay at the top of their game for the whole season to take back the title.

Love in more that just the name of Christ

A Pennsylvania teenager is staring at a possible jail sentence after he simulated sex acts with a Jesus statue (pictured) and later uploaded the pictures to social media. The young man posted that he took the pictures in late July at the statue of a kneeling Jesus in front of the “Love in the Name of Christ” Christian organization in his hometown of Everett, and now stands accused of the rare charge of desecration of a venerated object, which state law says involves "Defacing, damaging, polluting, or otherwise physically mistreating in a way that the actor knows will outrage the sensibilities of persons likely to observe or discover the action." The teen, whose name has not been released, could face up to two years in a juvenile jail if convicted. The Bedford County district attorney, Bill Higgins, made it known he was taking the charge against the teen seriously since the 14-year-old boasted and publicly posted the photographs, and I can tell you now it would've been much worse if he had actually whipped it out and it was touching the statue's mouth.

Blade Runner runnin' to jail on lesser charge

Oscar Pistorius has been found guilty not of murder, but of culpable homicide. However, there's more to tonight's post because customers may have to wait three to four weeks to get their hands on Apple Inc's iPhone 6 Plus, after a record number of orders for the company's latest smartphones strained available supply. The new iPhone 6 goes on sale this coming Friday in the United States but the company began taking online orders on Thursday. While the larger 5.5-inch "Plus" models now display a wait time of up to a month, the 4.7-inch version remains available for delivery on Sept. 19, Apple's website showed. Verizon Wireless, AT&T, and Sprint all showed shipment delays of up to six weeks on their respective websites. Apple said the pace of orders has so far outstripped any of its previous iPhones. I'm not surprised at this. Of course Apple will release a much better phone each year, especially now that Steve Jobs and his one-size-fits-all approach are no longer with us. And when they release next year's model, it will be huge. So don't settle for Android.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Into the Storm

How can I put this one? Clumsily scripted and populated with forgettable characters, Into the Storm has little to offer beyond its admittedly thrilling special effects, but the special effects work is basically flawless, and you absolutely get what you arguably came to see. You want big-screen images of insanely large-scale tornadoes and big-scale devastation and disaster carnage? Into the Storm gives you plenty of rock-solid disaster porn. Don't let the not-so-flash reviews (a 20% approval rating with an average score of 4.3/10 based on 127 reviews at Rotten Tomatoes, and a score of 44 out of 100 based on 30 reviews at Metacritic) fool you.

Atmosphere got mo' 'zone

Oscar Pistorius has been found not guilty on charges of premeditated murder, however, lesser charges against the disgraced Paralympian turned Olympian remain pending at time of posting. One man that won't have to worry about that is Bond villain Richard Kiel, who has died at the age of 74. But enough about that because thirteen years after the World Trade Center fell to the ground in what some conspiracy theorists believe to be an inside job, we finally have some good news about the environment - the giant hole in Earth’s ozone layer is shrinking. The atmospheric layer that protects Earth’s inhabitants from the sun’s harmful ultraviolet rays is slowly rebuilding itself, according to a United Nations report published yesterday. Scientists credit the recovery to the phasing out of chemicals used in refrigerators, air conditioners, and aerosol cans in the 1980s. “It’s a victory for diplomacy and for science and for the fact that we were able to work together,” said chemist Mario Molina, who won a Nobel Prize for his research into the ozone layer.

iPhones become insanely greater

For the first time in years, Apple's iPhones aren't the star of the show. Apple unveiled a smartwatch, a wearable device that marks the company's first major entry in a new product category since the iPad's debut in 2010. The move is significant because of recent questions about whether Apple still has a knack for innovating following the 2011 death of co-founder Steve Jobs. The device's introduction upstaged the company's two new, larger iPhones, which won't just have bigger screens - they will also have a horizontal viewing mode to take advantage of the larger display. The iPhone 6 will have a screen measuring 4.7 inches, while the iPhone 6 Plus will be 5.5 inches. In both cases, app developers will be able to design apps that can be viewed differently when the phone is held horizontally. New Zealanders will not have long to wait with the new iPhone 6 available for pre-order from September 26. The iPhone 6 will retail from NZ$999 for 16GB to NZ$1,299 for a 128GB version, and the large-screen iPhone 6 Plus will go on sale from NZ$1,149 for 16GB to NZ$1,449 for 128GB. Apple fans waiting for the new iWatch however will have to wait just a little longer, with the product not set for release until early next year - and Apple gave no indication yet of pricing for the iWatch, but it's a product I will definitely consider purchasing at some point.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Poor patient care

In April of 2011, James Clarke, who was paralysed in a motorbike accident in 2009, choked on a feeding tube after it became blocked in his throat at his home in the West Midlands. A recently concluded inquest into his death heard how two female carers were supposed to be monitoring him every 15 minutes throughout the night - but only checked on him every three hours. Instead, Beverley Kent and Mandy Evans watched TV and played on their phones while the quadriplegic patient they were supposed to be supervising so his mother could have a night off suffocated to death in his own room. Emergency services were called to the address after the carers found him unresponsive at 6am (British Summer Time) when his feeding peg bleeped. The inquest at Smethwick Council House heard Mrs Evans gave chest compressions under instruction from 999 handlers until the ambulance arrived. However rigor mortis had started to set in, further resuscitation attempts proved unsuccessful, and he was declared dead at the scene. Black Country coroner Robin Balmain slammed Mr Clarke's quality of care and ruled his death was due to neglect. He said he would be writing to the Care Quality Commission demanding answers about the standard of care provided. The coroner ruled that Mr Clarke, who a tracheotomy tube fitted to enable him to breathe following his accident, died of asphyxiation after the tube became blocked. Mr Balmain blasted Complete Care Service - the company in charge of his care package - and described their approach as 'profit over performance.' He also criticised the Walsall Clinical Commissioning Group (CCG), which employed the firm, for not checking that the correct care was being given. Mr Balmain concluded that Mr Clarke's death on April 4, 2011 was due to neglect compounding injuries suffered in the motorcycle accident. However, he said he sympathised with the carers, describing their training as 'slapdash' and said 'insufficient attention' was given by Walsall CCG as to what the care company was doing. Mr Balmain added: 'They seem to have missed some pretty obvious failings.' This is why you must exercise due care when making such an important decision like who should fill in for you on your night off. If you absolutely must take some time off from caring for a disabled person, make sure the carer/s filling in for you will actually do their jobs. And if you're employed in this field, DO YOUR JOB AND DO IT RIGHT. It's what you're paid for.

Wills and Kate and George Plus One

That's right, everyone, the Duchess of Cambridge is pregnant with her second child. Kensington Palace said the Queen and members of both families were delighted with the news. The palace said that - as when she was pregnant with Prince George - the duchess was suffering from very acute morning sickness and was being treated by doctors at Kensington Palace. The baby will become fourth in line to the throne, moving poor Prince Harry further down the line of succession. But enough about that because Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei underwent prostate surgery this morning at a Tehran hospital. Khamenei’s website characterized the procedure as “successful” without giving the underlying cause. The official Islamic Republic News Agency described it as an “ordinary operation.” And the 75-year-old Khamenei himself took an upbeat tone in a pre-surgery television interview. “God willing, things will go well,” he said in the interview. “There’s no need to be worried but it doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t pray.” And it doesn't mean his prostate won't give out eventually.

JohnPix by RPD

When a man is caught soliciting a prostitute, the punishment police hand out is usually far less than what they will find at home when their wife or girlfriend finds out. So police in California are using the tactic of shaming Johns by posting their pictures online, in hopes the embarrassment being shared with the public will be enough to curb prostitution. The Bay Area city of Richmond is the latest to start the tactic, and already locals are seeing a difference. While Richmond police have written a disclaimer saying all suspects are innocent until proven guilty, and say they will take down the pictures if the charges are dropped or defeated; defense attorneys and legal experts have cautioned against the tactic, saying it could still prove damaging to those who are eventually found innocent of the crime. For instance, what happens when charges are dismissed or acquitted? Will their mug shots live on in a Google cache only to be discovered by neighbours, employers, and family members years later? Once information is made available on the Internet, it is captured and recaptured, so it is never erasable, and even when it does get taken down, someone might have kept a copy for their own personal collection and be able to put it back up, and from there the whole crazy cycle will start again.

Rivers crosses the river

American comedian Joan Rivers, who was born Joan Alexandra Molinsky, has died aged 81. For those who put stock in signs and patterns, the fact that her death comes so quickly after the loss of Robin Williams and the actress Lauren Bacall, will not escape notice. Rivers, who was hospitalised last week after a heart attack during a routine surgical procedure, has been on a life support system since last weekend. Her family made the decision to take the iconic comedian off life support yesterday. It is understood she died shortly after. Outspoken, opinionated, and full of fire, Rivers will be remembered as that rarest of personalities: a force of nature. Her excoriating wit was almost without peer, and her catchphrase - "Can we talk?" - forever associated with her diminutive form, typically wielding a fur, hands clutching at the air, spewing one-liners to an audience. Ultimately, however, she will be remembered for one extraordinary quality: she made us laugh. Big deal - so did Robin Williams. Speaking of which, after weeks of speculation, a group of World of Warcraft players stumbled across an “Aladdin”-quoting genie tribute to Robin Williams in a test version of the game. Gamers at the WoWhead fan site discovered the character on Thursday, when a user named Haldhur posted an image of the genie and its coordinates on the expansive role-playing game’s world map. Thus ended weeks of searching prompted by game maker Blizzard’s promise to include a Williams tribute following the actor’s death in August. The blue genie, named “Robin,” emerges from an “Ever-Burning Lamp” when players interact with the object. Then, the genie quotes one of the best lines from the Williams-voiced genie character: “INFINITE COSMIC POWER!” he says, before shrinking, waving, and adding, “itty-bitty living space.” A few weeks ago, users found evidence of two other versions of the “Robin” character that appear to be references to “Mork and Mindy” and “Mrs. Doubtfire.” These versions don’t yet appear in the game.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: The Inbetweeners 2

I can sum this one up in just a few words: much funnier than the last one. Go see it.

Professional swindler outlives both his children

Andrew Madoff, the last surviving son of the convicted swindler Bernie Madoff, has died at 48 in a Manhattan hospital, where he had been undergoing treatment for cancer. A family lawyer, Martin Flumenbaum, said the cause was mantle-cell lymphoma, for which Mr. Madoff had been treated since early 2013. His older brother, Mark, committed suicide in 2010. The two brothers attracted worldwide attention in December 2008 after they alerted federal agents that their father, a respected Wall Street statesman, had confessed to them that his private investment management business was a vast Ponzi scheme. Based on that report, the senior Mr. Madoff was arrested on Dec. 11, 2008, just in time to get on Santa's naughty list. Ruth Madoff, slowly rebuilding her life, called her husband’s crime “beyond anything imaginable.” After the arrest, it became clear that his fraud was one of the largest Ponzi schemes in history, with paper losses of almost $65 billion, cash losses of about $17 billion and tens of thousands of victims ranging from Swiss private bankers to labor union pension funds to notable charities and universities. Bernard Madoff, now 76, pleaded guilty in March 2009 and is serving a 150-year sentence in a federal prison in North Carolina. He will be 221 years old by the time he gets out in 2159 (if he lives that long).

Lest we forget

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Rape

CeeLo Green took to Twitter today to make an attempt to define what rape is, shortly after pleading no contest for charges that he slipped a woman ecstasy without her consent in 2012. The 39-year-old took to Twitter to defend himself, replying to users’ comments on the case with a series of bizarre statements about rape. “If someone is passed out they’re not even WITH you consciously,” he said, adding, “People who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!” Just because one's passed out doesn't mean they can't be raped. If he tried that one on during the trial, it could set a precedent for somebody on any sort of charge to claim it's not a crime just because their victim was unconscious at the time. Quoting from one of that loser's songs, forget him. But don't forget Keanu Reeves, because it's the Matrix star's 50th birthday today. It is also Daniel arap Moi's 90th and Mark Harmon's 63rd.

Reds fail to burn Burnley

Manchester United's frustrating start to the season continued yesterday morning after a 0-0 draw with Burnley at Turf Moor. Having weathered an early storm, Loser van Gaal's side dominated possession but were unable to capitalise with Robin van Persie going closest for the Reds just after the break when his shot was cleared off the line. United also had two strong penalty appeals overlooked when Ashley Young was seemingly shoved over in the area and late on when the same player's shot hit namesake Ashley Barnes on the arm. Also, two players were booked, but that's not the problem here. The problem is that the Reds need Sir Alex back, or at the very least David Moyes.

Principal's being a bully, muli muli

If you've watched the TV series Jonah From Tonga, you would know that an anti-bullying song called "Don't Be A Bully" forms part of the plot. One line in the first verse states that just 'cos a kid's got a different colour hair don't mean you can be a bully. Sadly, that message didn't get through to Chad Holden, who is the Bellend of the Month for August 2014. Holden is the principal of a school in Muscle Shoals, Alabama, and he sent a student home this month just for having red hair. The reason: her hair color was deemed "too distracting." The student, Hayleigh Black, said she has been dyeing her hair the same red hue for the last three years. "I have never had anybody come up to me and say, 'Maybe you shouldn't have this colour,' or, 'Do you think that's a bad color,'" Hayleigh said. Her mother said she was shocked to get a phone call to come pick her up - less than 30 minutes after dropping her off on the first day of school. "Nothing was ever said last year," said Kim Boyd. "Never got any calls, never sent home, anything saying it had to be changed up until today." Hayleigh is an A and B student, a member of the marching band, and has even represented her school on various events in and out of state, all while donning her red hair. "I understand sending kids home for pink or purple or blue, but Hayleigh is red, and he argued it was not a natural shade of red," said Boyd. According to the student code of conduct book, it is up to the discretion of the principal or assistant principal to determine disciplinary actions pertaining to "disruptive hair style or colour." "He said he had already sent home two other ones for that problem, even though theirs were pink and orange, and not any shade of red. He said he had to be consistent; she would have to get rid of the red or go to a darker red," Boyd said. Chad Holden, should you ever come across this post, click on this link, listen to the whole song from start to finish, and leave the poor ranga kid alone.

Teenager psyched out over a missing phone

The lawyer of a young man sentenced for selling an iPhone he found says his client has been stuck in "hell" for almost two weeks. By that he means, Param Sharma ended up in a psych ward instead of a regular jail cell. The 18-year-old was convicted on the 18th of a charge related to selling an iPhone he found on Craigslist. His lawyer Andrew Shalaby says the charge was a misdemeanor and rarely used: failure to make a reasonable effort to find the owner of the phone. The judge sentenced Sharma to 90 days at the Santa Rita Jail. That's when things went south for Sharma. He somehow ended up in the psych ward. "He's in block F, according to the Sergeant here, the worst of the worst in the section of a psych ward," Shalaby said, adding "somebody tried to kill him and I was really, really upset." Of course he should be punished for not attempting to locate the iPhone's owner - losing it in the first place had already caused its owner enough inconvenience. But sending him to a psych ward where another patient has already made an attempt on his life is disproportionate. There is, however, a silver lining - late last night, without any word why, jailers told Shalaby that Sharma would be moved to a regular cell. Then the court's administrative staff said they had suddenly found a missing file relating to the case, which the DA's office had the whole time.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Lucy

Scarlett Johansson + Morgan Freeman = total greatness. Lucy has been compared to various films (common examples include Akira, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Matrix, The Tree of Life, Transcendence, and especially Limitless which also features the 10% of brain myth as a major plotline), but it has already become a success in its own right, with a time-of-posting gross of US$217 million against a budget of $40 million. Critical reception has been largely favourable too - on review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes, the film holds a score of 65%, based on 185 reviews, with a rating average of 6.1 out of 10; on review aggregator Metacritic, it has a rating score of 61 out of 100, based on 41 reviews, indicating "generally favorable reviews"; and audiences polled by CinemaScore gave the film a C+ grade on a scale of A to F. With that in mind, I urge you to go see this if you haven't already done so.

Hello Human???

That's right, people of Earth. Hot news out of Japan: Hello Kitty — the stuffed animal that looks like a cat, talks like a cat, and is named after a cat — actually isn't a cat at all. The British "perpetual third-grader" is also apparently a twin, a Scorpio (birthdate November 1), and a big fat fraud. The earth shattering disclosure was made in advance of the first Hello Kitty-con, set to take place in Los Angeles this fall. This is the last thing the world needs right now - Robin Williams died two and a half weeks ago, Manchester United's new manager hasn't won a single Premier League game yet, and now this crap. Speaking of crap, a disgusting act of vandalism forced officials in St. Thomas, Ontario to close the Jaycees public swimming pool yesterday morning (Eastern Daylight Time). Officials say the facility on Inkerman Street is off limits after someone threw dog feces into the pool overnight. St. Thomas Police believe it happened sometime between Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. In a police release, they called the incident a “senseless act of mischief”. The pool is now closed for the season, three days before it was supposed to. Whoever did this should be traded for Robin Williams.

Kids + guns = danger

A 9-year-old girl learning to fire a submachine gun accidentally killed her instructor at a shooting range when the weapon recoiled over her shoulder, according to Arizona authorities. The instructor, 39-year-old Charles Vacca, died at a hospital late Monday night (Mountain Standard Time) after he was shot in the head. The Mohave County Sheriff's Office said the girl was with her parents. The website of Bullets and Burgers, the shooting range where the accident happened, says children between the ages of 8 and 17 can shoot a weapon if accompanied by a parent or guardian. Police identified the weapon as an Uzi, an Israeli-made submachine gun. Cell phone video released by authorities shows the moments before the fatal shots were fired - in the video, Vacca and the girl are at an outdoor range. The wind blows a target in the distance. Vacca shows the child how to hold the gun then helps her establish her grip and her stance. She fires one round and dirt flies above the target. Vacca adjusts the Uzi, places his right hand on her back and his left under her right arm. She fires several rounds in rapid succession and the gun kicks to the left as she loses control. The video ends before the fatal head shot. In releasing the video, authorities did not identify who made it, but this is why kids shouldn't be playing with guns. It's just not safe.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Not beating Sunderland

Manchester United and Sunderland had to settle for a point apiece yesterday morning after Juan Mata’s first-half strike was soon cancelled out by Jack Rodwell’s header. The Reds took the lead at the Stadium of Light after 16 minutes when Mata stabbed home a cross from Antonio Valencia, but the Black Cats drew level 15 minutes later when Rodwell – making his home debut following his move from Manchester City – headed home from a corner. Two Reds players received yellow cards, but the real issue here is Louis van Gaal not pulling his weight - he needs to bring in the three-pointers. Even David Moyes has been able to win games for Manchester United. And we're only two games in, so it's not too late.

Windows 9 about to say nein to common sense

Microsoft is planning to release a preview build of Windows 9 at a special press event on September 30, according to sources familiar with Microsoft’s plans. The date could still change, but September 30 lines up neatly with previous leaks that suggested a late-September or early-October release date for the Windows 9 technology preview. It’s still unclear exactly how many of Windows 9′s hotly anticipated features will actually make it into the September 30 release — but hopefully we’ll at least see the resurrected Start menu and Metro apps running on the Desktop. We wouldn’t be surprised if you have to wait a little longer for the consumer preview of Windows 9 before you get to play with your new Cortana digital assistant, however. But I couldn't care less. Macs are the way to go when it comes to your next computer, not that dodgy Windows crap. Remember, people, if it's not an Apple, it's crapple.

Worming your way to a new you

An American mother gave her daughter a pill filled with tapeworm eggs to help her lose weight quickly... and didn't tell her. The unnamed mother thought she was doing best for her child because there was a beauty pageant in a couple of weeks and she wanted her to look her best. But weeks later, the girl is in agonising pain and a scan at the hospital shows there is something live in her tummy... and she is not pregnant. Shortly after being given a stomach drug to help diagnosis, the girl rushes to the toilet and amid her screams, suddenly all is revealed. The toilet bowl is a seething mass of tapeworms. Caught on camera, paediatric nurse Maricar Cabral-Osorio is clearly close to being sick as she tells viewers: "It was a toilet bowl full of tapeworms. It was so gross and she had pooped all these tapeworms. There were a couple that were very long and wiggling around trying to get out of the toilet bowl." The incident at a Florida hospital was featured in an episode of the medical documentary Untold Stories of the ER where nurse Cabral-Osorio is seen re-assuring the girl that she is now going to be okay. The nurse adds: "We were wondering how did she get those tapeworms, and then you saw the mom turn white. She was apologizing to the girl. It's like 'I'm so sorry. You know, I did it just to make you a little skinnier. You needed some help before we went on to the pageant.'" The pill, for the record, was bought in Mexico. That's just wrong. I would never feed tapeworm eggs to anyone, especially someone who doesn't deserve it. If you want to put that crap in your kid's digestive system, you own the consequences of that course of action, just as you would any other decision you make.

The chain ends at 458

A Florida man put an end to a “pay it forward” streak at a local Starbucks because he said he thinks people were participating out of “guilt,” not “generosity.” Peter Schorsch, a blogger, drove to the Starbucks drive-thru in St. Petersburg, Florida, on Thursday after hearing about the "pay-it-forward' phenomenon there that ended with customer No. 458. After he ordered two Venti Mocha Frappuccinos, the barista told him his first drink had been paid for by the previous customer and asked if he would like to pay for the next customer. “I told him no,” Schorsch, of St. Petersburg, told ABC News. “When the barista asks you to pay it forward, it is no longer spontaneous.” Though Schorsch didn't pay for the next customer at the drive-thru, he said he tipped the barista $100. “I’m really not trying to be a Grinch,” Schorsch said. “I know things are hard for baristas and I am willing to help people.” “I just don’t want to be forced into doing something,” said Schorsch, who is also a part-time political consultant. “This is turning into a social phenomenon and I had to put an end to it.” Seriously, who wants to be forced into doing something? Remember Prohibition? Or the protests surrounding conscription during Vietnam? And besides, there was a free coffee in it, so I don't blame him for deciding to end the chain. I would've done the same thing.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: The Expendables 3

There was nothing expendable about this one (well, maybe except for the absence of Chuck Norris). Even though the action reportedly had to be watered down to receive lower classifications from various film censorship bodies worldwide, it didn't feel watered down. Also, judoka-turned-UFC champion Ronda Rousey, who played nightclub bouncer Luna, was a nice piece of ass. Ticket sales so far have been down compared to comparable periods in the history of the first two, and critical reception isn't very favourable, but this is one you still should see.

Insanely great phones going insanely cheap

As the release of the alleged Apple iPhone 6 inevitably nears, retailers are dropping the prices of the iPhone 5S and 5C. A Walmart spokesperson told CNET that starting Thursday at 9 a.m. local times, the retailer is dropping the price of the iPhone 5S to $79 and the iPhone 5C to a mere 97 cents. The iPhone 5S was previously $99 and the 5C was $29. These new prices apply to all available colors of the smartphones and can only be used with a two-year contract on AT&T, Verizon, Sprint, or US Cellular. Typically, as Apple gears up to release its new iPhone, retailers cut prices of the current phones they have in stock. Weeks before the iPhone 5S and 5C debuted last September, the price of the iPhone 5 plunged at retailers like Walmart, Best Buy, and Target. The lowered cost of the iPhone 5S and 5C isn't the only indication that the alleged iPhone 6 is forthcoming. The rumor mill has been heating up over the past couple of months with leaked images of both a 4.7-inch and a larger 5.5-inch phone with an enhanced camera and reversible USB cable. Speculation pegs the release date for September, which is not as long as the wait for Robin Williams' final film Absolutely Anything. Speaking of which, Williams' final film performance will make it to the big screen after all. Comments by the late comic actor’s “Absolutely Anything” co-star Simon Pegg had led to speculation that Williams had not finished voice work for the upcoming comedy and that director Terry Jones would have to recast the part. But the filmmakers squashed the rumors, saying that it would be Williams’ trademark voice heard coming out of a talking dog when the movie hits theaters next year. Fans will also get several other chances to see the late Williams on screen, with "Night at the Museum 3" set for a December 19 release. Williams had wrapped his third go-round as Teddy Roosevelt in the comedy franchise before his death. Also in the can is the comedy "A Merry Friggin' Christmas," scheduled for a November release along with other highly-anticipated titles like The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, which features the late Philip Seymour Hoffman as Plutarch Heavensbee.

Tunnel of Mork

Rather than memorializing a 19th century nobody, the Waldo Tunnel (pictured) and its rainbow arches north of the Golden Gate Bridge ought to honor actor and comedian Robin Williams, who became famous while wearing rainbow suspenders. That’s the wish of thousands of people who by yesterday — eight days after Williams’ apparent suicide at his Tiburon home — had electronically signed a petition on change.org, urging Assemblyman Marc Levine to introduce legislation to christen the “Robin Williams Tunnel.” The twin tubes, which carry Highway 101 drivers through the Waldo Grade toward Sausalito, have become a landmark, featured in “Dirty Harry” and other films. But few people know their namesake, William Waldo, a Whig Party candidate who ran unsuccessfully for governor in 1853 after being drawn west by the Gold Rush. Williams called Marin County home, and the online petition’s creator, Julie Wainwright, said changing the name of the tunnel would “honor the very important citizen and world-renowned entertainer.” She wrote that the name would help North Bay residents and visitors remember “the joy he brought to the world.” It makes sense, because there is no one better to be named for a tunnel that takes you out of the fog and into the sunshine than Robin Williams. Williams had himself referenced the Waldo Tunnel in his 1982 HBO comedy special, “An Evening with Robin Williams,” which was shot at San Francisco’s Great American Music Hall. He poked fun at Marin County’s exclusive image. “People going into Marin County say, ‘My God, look at that little rainbow. Isn’t that cute.’ They lied. They lied to you — it’s an ethnic detector,” he quipped. Click here to go straight to that line.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Boko Haram

Chadian troops have rescued 85 Nigerians kidnapped last week by the Islamist terror group Boko Haram. Dozens of Boko Haram insurgents stormed the Doron Baga fishing and farming village on the shores of Lake Chad late Sunday through Monday and took away 97 young men and boys plus several women, residents said. The raiders killed 28 residents and burned several homes. The hostages were loaded onto motorboats and ferried into neighboring Chad, with residents saying they feared the hostages would be forcefully conscripted as foot soldiers. Chadian security officials reported intercepting a convoy of buses carrying 85 Nigerians believed to have been kidnapped by Boko Haram terrorists from Baga. It's great somebody's standing up to those bellends, but what of the 200 girls BH took from Chibok in April? They could be dead by now.

Wikileaker to Wikileak himself to Sweden

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange says he will leave the Ecuadorean embassy in London "soon" after two years of refuge. He did not clarify when he would depart but said it was "probably not" for the reasons reported by the UK press. Stories had suggested he was suffering ill-health and required treatment. Ecuador's foreign minister Ricardo Patino said Mr Assange, who is wanted for questioning over alleged sexual assault offences in Sweden, would "continue to offer him protection". He shouldn't leave while there are cops stationed outside, because he faces extradition to Sweden, and from there he could eventually be handed over to the US because of Wikileaks' publication of classified US military documents on the Afghan and Iraq wars. But if he does leave, Ecuador better have a helicopter stationed in Sweden to intercept him and take him to his adopted homeland.

Louis van Gaal on right track to becoming Loser van Gaal

The 2014/15 season began in disappointing fashion for Louis van Gaal and Manchester United as Swansea City secured a shock 2-1 win at Old Trafford. The visitors took the lead on 28 minutes through Ki Sung-yeung, before his effort was cancelled out by Wayne Rooney's second-half leveller. Rooney hit a post soon after but it was the Swans who found a second rather than United and it proved to be the winner as Gylfi Sigurdsson fired past David De Gea on 72 minutes. No yellow or red cards were shown, but it's too early to tell at this stage whether LVG can turn things around or whether he'll be the next David Moyes.

First smartphone hits the big two-zero

Never judge a phone by its cover. The chunky, black box pictured above was in fact the world's first 'smartphone'. The IBM Simon went on sale to the public on 16 August 1994 and combined mobile phone technology with a wide range of computing features. To mark the 20th anniversary, London's Science Museum is putting it on display in its new Information Age gallery. "The Simon wasn't called a smartphone back then," said curator Charlotte Connelly. "But it had a lot of the features we see today. It had a calendar, it could take notes, and send emails and messages - and combined all of this with a cell phone." Weighing in at half a kilo, the Simon was not exactly pocket-sized. However, Ms Connelly insisted the design was ahead of its time. "It looks like a grey block but it's not as big as you'd imagine," she said. "It had a stylus and a green LCD screen, which is similar in size to the iPhone 4. In fact, it's not a bad looking thing." It was also the first mobile phone to feature software apps (which are now more important 20 years down the line) and could be linked up to a fax machine. It was only available to customers in the United States, operating within a 15 state network. The device, which sold around 50,000 models, was particularly popular with members of the business community, who craved a transportable phone that doubled up as a mini-computer. However, a hefty price tag (US$899, which was worth more 20 years ago than now) and limited battery life (about one hour) contributed to its eventual disappearance from the market around two years after its launch. It could've made it, but IBM can still look at getting into today's smartphone game with a new model closer to today's offerings. If they do, I can guarantee you it won't be as good as Apple's product.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: And So It Goes

I don't know why this one would receive such poor reviews as "...the failed attempt to Heimlich a venerable movie genre" - I sure enjoyed it. Rob Reiner's latest effort has convinced us he still has that magic in him. So all you haters out there, stop hating and appreciate a true masterpiece in modern comedy.

Glory, glory, no more tablets

Manchester United has banned fans from bringing tablets and laptops to football matches at its stadium. The club said it was reacting to "security intelligence", adding the restriction was in line with new checks on electronic equipment at airports. It said that unlike at airports, it would be "impractical" at the stadium to check the devices were genuine by asking for them to be powered up. Greater Manchester Police said it was not involved with the ban "in any way". A statement on the club's site says the ban extends to large and small tablets "including iPad minis", as well as larger electronic devices. Smartphones are still permitted as long as their dimensions are smaller than 15cm by 10cm (5.9in by 3.9in). It's not like I would be stupid enough to bring large electronic devices to a place where they might get stolen, but whatever the club are doing off-field, Louis van Gaal had better prove himself this season and not become just another David Moyes.

And Bacall makes two

During the course of this week, we have lost two of the greats: first Robin Williams and now Lauren Bacall. This is a sign that the wrong people are dying. We've already lost too many people more worthy than Justin Bieber. Seriously, why can't Bieber be next?

Nanu-nanu, Robin

There will be no Bad Idea of the Week this week, because today is a sad day for comedy - Oscar-winning actor and comedian Robin Williams, who dazzled in such wide-ranging dramatic and comedic roles as alien, nanny, therapist, and cartoon genie during a four-decades long career, has been found dead in his northern California home in a suspected suicide. Williams was an airman, a doctor, a genie, a nanny, a president, a professor, a bangarang Peter Pan, and everything in between. But he was one of a kind. He arrived in our lives as an alien, but he ended up touching every element of the human spirit. He made us laugh. He made us cry. He gave his immeasurable talent freely and generously to those who needed it most - from troops stationed abroad to the marginalized on the streets. The Marin County Sheriff's Department said in a statement that Williams was found unconscious and not breathing in his home around noon yesterday Pacific Daylight Time. The statement said the investigation into Williams' death is ongoing, but the coroner "suspects the death to be a suicide due to asphyxia." Celebrity colleagues and admirers of Robin Williams shared their reactions to his death:

• "I am completely and totally devastated. What more can be said?" — Pam Dawber, in a statement.
• "I feel stunned and so sad about Robin. I'm sad for the world of comedy. And so very sad for his family. And I'm sad for Robin. He always lit up when he was able to make people laugh, and he made them laugh his whole life long... tirelessly. He was one of a kind. There will not be another. Please God, let him now rest in peace." — Sally Field, in a statement.
• "Robin was a lightning storm of comic genius and our laughter was the thunder that sustained him. He was a pal and I can't believe he's gone." — Steven Spielberg, in a statement.
• "I could not be more stunned by the loss of Robin Williams, mensch, great talent, acting partner, genuine soul." — Steve Martin, on Twitter.
• "I saw him on stage the very first time he auditioned at the Improv and we have been friends ever since. It's a very sad day." — Jay Leno, in a statement.
• "We have lost one of our most inspired and gifted comic minds, as well as one of this generation's greatest actors. To watch Robin work, was a magical and special privilege. His performances were unlike anything any of us had ever seen, they came from some spiritual and otherworldly place. He truly was one of the few people who deserved the title of 'genius.'" — Chris Columbus, in a statement.
• "Robin and I were great friends, suffering from the same little-known disease: depression. I never could have expected this ending to his life, and to ours with him. God bless him and God bless us all for his LIFE! I cannot believe this. I am overwhelmed with grief. What a wonderful man/boy, and what a tremendous talent in the most important art of any time - comedy! I loved him." — Chevy Chase in a statement.
• "Robin was as sweet a man as he was funny. If you're sad, please tell someone." — Jimmy Kimmel, on Twitter.
• "Robin was friend, boss, brother, inspiration. His generosity and intelligence knew no limits." — Harvey Fierstein, on Twitter.
• "I've never known a sweeter, brighter, more considerate person than Robin. Robin's commitment as an artist to lifting our mood and making us happy is compared to none. He loved us all and we loved him back." — John Travolta, in a statement.
• "A big tenacious overflowing hyperkinetic eruption of compassion would be (the) best tribute to Williams." — John Cusack on Twitter.
• "RIP to my dear brother and friend Robin Williams. The world will miss the decades of laughter that you gave all of us." — Quincy Jones on Twitter.

Genie, you're free.

A show animal is created

SeaWorld recently made a scientific breakthrough when the San Diego location successfully reproduced a penguin through artificial insemination. At just 12 weeks old, she is the first of any penguin species to be reproduced in this way. This is being noted as a major stride in conservation efforts that scientists are hoping will help threatened or endangered species in the wild. "Artificial insemination and semen preservation allows us to maximize the genetic diversity of these populations, and that means that they remain healthy and stable into the future," said one of the researchers at the SeaWorld Reproductive Research Center, Justine O'Brien. This new method has the potential to ensure future generations of beautiful creatures, all with a little help from science and technology. But knowing SeaWorld, most of them are just going to be used in shows or otherwise exploited. Just stay away from that sausage-fest.

Real game-changer for Facebook games

Facebook games will have to reveal any in-app charges and will no longer be allowed to give players bonuses for "liking" their pages under new rules rolled out for developers this week. The changes were part of a new version of the platform developers use to build games and other apps and share them with Facebook users. The developers will have until November 6 to comply with the new rules. So-called "freemium" games and other apps have become a popular choice for developers using Facebook or other platforms, like Apple's iOS and Google's Android mobile operating systems. Instead of paying for an app up front, players may download a game for free. In most cases, they can then play a basic version of that game, but get access to new content or in-game items that help their progress by paying. In addition to being arguably deceptive, this approach also has brought attention through several cases in which children have unknowingly racked up thousands of dollars worth of charges by making purchases in games that their parents didn't realize allowed that option. "If your game includes mandatory or optional in-app charges, explain this in your app's description," Facebook's new rule reads. So in essence, no more hidden charges in apps. If you want to charge for in-app purchases, you inform the users of that fact instead of surprising them when their credit card statements are sent out. You have to lay it all out on the table. Tobacco giants RJ Reynolds learnt the hard way last month when they received a $23 billion fine for not adequately informing their customers of the dangers of smoking.

Pizza: $16.28. Cuteness: priceless.

16-year-old Jewel Cowart deals with credit card receipts all day in her job as a cashier at Domino's Pizza, but one customer's signature last week managed to melt her heart. "This child walked into the store with as much confidence as an adult," Cowart said of a little kid who came into the Domino's in Temple, Texas, where she works. The bold little boy, who was accompanied by his father, was actually something of a regular. "He smiled and said to me, 'I'm here to pick up an order for Thomas Jefferson!'" Cowart recalled. "Coincidentally, I had been his cashier a few days prior, too, and remembered him because before he had ordered under Abraham Lincoln." Cowart says she smiled and told the little boy his total, and he pulled a credit card out of his shorts and swiped it. When it came time for the receipts to print, she handed over two copies, one for him to sign, and one for the store to keep. After getting a nod from his dad, he proceeded to sign it — and that's when some serious cuteness ensued. "The boy turned, took the pen, and signed 'dad' as clear as day, and proud as ever," she said. "He then took his pizzas, and said, 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and walked out." The interaction was almost too sweet for Cowart to bear. "At first, I had this overwhelming feeling of adoration and I wanted to squeeze this child into a hug, and then I came to realize the child didn't even realize how cute it was," she said. "He simply thought he was signing for his father." Cowart showed the copy of the receipt with the adorable signature to her brother, who posted it to Reddit, where it quickly went viral. While she'd been bowled over by the cuteness herself, she couldn't believe the reaction online. It may be cute, but imagine if he had been using the same card and the same signature to buy thousands of dollars worth of stuff his dad doesn't know about.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Guardians of the Galaxy

If you haven't seen this, you're truly missing out. So far, it has earned US$126,759,442 in North America and US$92,500,000 in other countries for a worldwide total of US$219,259,442 in just eight short days. And critical reception has been favourable - Rotten Tomatoes reported a 92% approval rating with an average rating of 7.7/10 based on 197 reviews, and Metacritic assigned a score of 76 out of 100 based on 46 reviews, indicating "generally favorable reviews." So please, go see this one.

Indian legal system still in struggle for perfect balance

India's cabinet has approved a bill to allow children over 16 to be tried as adults for serious crimes like rape and murder. The move follows calls for stricter punishment for juveniles after a 17-year-old known only as Raju was among those convicted of gang rape and murder in Delhi in December 2012. At present, juvenile courts can jail those under 18 for at most three years. Under the bill, which still needs the approval of parliament, minors convicted in adult courts would face longer jail terms but would still be spared the death penalty or life imprisonment. The planned legislation is aimed as a deterrent for juvenile offenders and to protect victims' rights, but child rights organisations have criticised the bill. Children can and do sometimes commit crimes as violent as those committed by adults, and the pain and anger of a victim or their family may well be the same regardless of whether a crime was committed by a child or an adult. But one must remember that children's culpability, even when they commit 'adult' crimes, is different because of their immaturity. Their punishment should acknowledge this difference, reflect children's special capacity for reform and rehabilitation, and be grounded in an understanding of adolescent psychology. In other words, there needs to be a balance between making sure offenders get what they deserve and taking the age and maturity of the offenders into account.

An aspirin a day keeps the cancer away

Taking aspirin every day can reduce the chance of developing or dying from bowel and stomach cancers, a review of all available evidence suggests. And scientists predict if everyone aged 50 and above in the UK took the drug for 10 years, some 122,000 deaths could be prevented over two decades. Scientists examined some 200 studies investigating the benefits and harms of taking aspirin - an area of continuing medical debate. They found the drug reduced the number of cases and deaths from bowel, stomach, and oesophageal cancer by some 30-40%. There was weaker and more variable evidence that the drug reduced deaths from breast, prostate, and lung cancer too. The study also found people needed to take the drug for at least five years to see any benefits. But remember that aspirin can cause internal bleeding and medical advice must be sought before using it.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Being a jackass about the truth

With its old-fashioned charm and beautiful setting, the Union Street Guest House describes itself as the perfect place to get married – and guests attending weddings there had better agree. The upscale hotel in the town of Hudson, in New York’s scenic Catskill mountains, will “fine” couples who hold their weddings there US$500 every time a guest posts a negative review online. Explaining that it is not a “Marriott-type hotel,” the proprietors say that while those who choose the hotel’s Inn for their nuptials will appreciate that its buildings are “old (but restored)” their guests may not “understand” that it has been ”designed to look old in an artistic ‘vintage’ way.” As for the “hip, period furniture you would see in many design magazines,” the hotel is eager that there be no misunderstanding. For every complaint posted about the hip furniture or anything else relating to the hotel on travel review websites such as Trip Advisor or Yep, a fine will be levied. The fee applies for every negative review posted online by anyone in the couple’s party and applies even to those staying at the hotel, where rooms cost up to US$300 a night, but attending a wedding elsewhere in the area. That is just stupid. If somebody has a bad experience somewhere, I would expect there would be a negative review or two in the works. There is an important part of American law known as the Bill of Rights which is designed to prevent such egregious fines for exercising one's right to free speech. But USGH doesn't have to worry about me throwing my hat into the ring for the time being because my sister isn't planning anything that flash for her wedding in just over 100 days' time.

Glass in eye = glass eye

Today is the 70th anniversary of one of the worst crimes in recent history - Anne Frank and seven other Jews she had been hiding with were captured and shipped off to concentration camps throughout Germany and its occupied territories. But that's not what tonight's post is all about, because surgeons operated on a woman yesterday after a shard of shattered glass flew into her eye at a Nelson bar. The glass object was thrown by a member of a group who were kicked out of the Star and Garter Tavern, in Richmond, about 3am. Police are seeking assistance from the public to identify the group. "A group was ejected from the bar about 3am and shortly after a member of that group threw a glass object back into the smoking area of the tavern. The glass shattered and a shard lodged into the eye of a woman patron who was seated in the area," police said. The woman, who is in her 30s, sustained serious injuries to her eye and was being operated on in Nelson Hospital. That ain't cool. The poor woman could lose an eye as a result of that stupidity. What if my niece (pictured) were in the area the glass landed?

Guardians swapped for Guardians

Some choice movie theaters weren’t about to let two completely different genres, titles, and release years come between them and an inadvertently hilarious (or heartbreaking, depending on which side of the screen you’re sitting on) projection mix-up on one of the most highly-anticipated opening nights of summer movie season. The saga began on Thursday night, when a Regal Cinemas theater in Virginia accidentally screened the decidedly non-Sci-Fi-Action-James-Gunn-directed-sentient-tree-and-rocket-wielding-raccoon-starring 2012 animated DreamWorks children’s movie “Rise of the Guardians” in place of Marvel tentpole “Guardians of the Galaxy.” To make matters worse, despite scrambling to right the blunder, theater employees somehow managed to play the opening of “Rise” three more times before getting it right. Chris Pratt may be babein’ big time in “Guardians of the Galaxy,” but not even an eyefull of chiseled Star-Lord chest (which isn't really that much of a turn-on for me because I'm not gay) would make up for almost an hour and a half of Regal’s rigmarole. Naturally, theater-goers were granted refunds, posters, and free passes to a later showing, wherein they could take in Pratt’s majestic pectorals unperturbed. And hey, Virginia Regal Cinemas outpost, you can wipe that egg right off your face because apparently you’re not alone! The Hollywood Reporter tracked down a tweet from a New Jersey resident, announcing that her (decidedly weepier) audience fell victim to the exact same switcheroo. “omg they started playing rise of the guardians instead of guardians of the galaxy EVERYONE IN THE THEATRE IS CRYING,” @thestorysofxr wrote. But how is a two-year-old animated movie still making the rounds in theater projection rooms, I hear you ask? CinemaBlend reports that “Rise” has been shown recently as part of children’s matinee clubs, and if both items were simply labeled by one or both of the offending cinemas as “Guardians,” that could explain it. I would've been a better manager on the night in that area alone - I would insist on different labels for both movies, with maybe "Rise" for the kiddie flick and "Galaxy" for the Marvel superhero film if not a blanket colour-code or the full titles for all movies on general release.

Court says no to anti-gay act on technicality

Uganda's Constitutional Court has invalidated an anti-gay bill that was passed earlier this year, pleasing activists and the LGBT community. According to reports, the anti-gay legislation passed in February lacked the necessary quorum. Hardly a ringing endorsement of equality and liberty, but a victory nonetheless, and one hard-earned by lawyers from Human Rights Awareness and Promotion Forum (HRAPF) of Uganda, and their partners at UHAI-EASHRI, the local leaders of this battle, incidentally, belying the claim that LGBT equality is some sort of Western conceit. It's good that such a crap excuse for a law has been stopped in its tracks, as the tough law would've allowed imprisonment for homosexual acts or any kind of promotion of homosexuality, but it could make the backlash against LGBT Ugandans even worse. Records kept by Sexual Minorities Uganda show that violence against LGBT people has increased tenfold since the passage of the Anti-Homosexual Act. Add in fiery preaching by anti-gay zealots, often funded by American organizations, and you have a volatile brew ready to explode. Activists worry that this court decision could provide the spark. If the law won’t protect Uganda from Satan, people will have to take up arms themselves. Hopefully, cooler heads will prevail. There are supportive clergy calling for coexistence rather than violence, and maybe the Obama administration, instead of merely backpedaling reactively, could support these voices pro-actively as well. Maybe Museveni could call for a period of national reflection. Or maybe, things will continue to get worse.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Hercules

One of the best action movies to come out this year. Go see it. Need I say more?

New career... but at what cost?

The Bellend of the Month for July 2014 is Shanesha Taylor, a woman who generated nationwide attention after leaving her two young sons in a hot car while she went on a job interview. What makes it worse is that Arizona prosecutors will drop child abuse charges against her, with county attorney Bill Montgomery quoted as saying the charges against Taylor will be dismissed once she successfully completes parenting and substance abuse treatment programs and sets up child care and education trust funds for her children. At least she realises there are consequences for her actions, but seriously, you should never leave your kids in a car just because you're attending a job interview. Police discovered the two children in this particular case in the backseat of her car, still buckled in their seat belts with temperatures registering more than 100˚F (38˚C). Officers said the boys were sweating profusely and in obvious distress when they arrived on the scene. There have been cases where the child/children died as a result of this rubbish. Seriously, people, there's no excuse for that crap. Use the services of a babysitter or child-minder instead of leaving them to bake to death.

Batkid Begins

Miles Scott, the 5-year-old leukemia survivor better known as "Batkid," won over the hearts of San Francisco (and pretty much the entire Internet) when his Make-a-Wish request was to be Batman for a day. Last November, the city of San Francisco came together to make that happen, with thousands of people lining the streets to simulate Gotham City. Now, filmmaker Dana Nachman is bringing Miles' story to the big screen. Well, she's trying to. Nachman has started an Indiegogo campaign to raise money for the film, titled "Batkid Begins," which now has its first official trailer, featuring Miles' parents, Hans Zimmer, and more. Watch the official trailer here.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Air travel... or is it?

In Ukraine, the shootdown of Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 on July 17 killed all 298 aboard. Last Wednesday's crash of TransAsia Airways Flight 222 killed 48 in Taiwan, and the day after, Air Algerie Flight 5017 crashed in Mali, leaving 119 dead. Then there's the unexplained loss of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, with 239 aboard, in March. Different circumstances surround the crashes, but when as many as 704 airline passengers and flight crew lose their lives in the span of 138 days, some travelers might be concerned about the global aviation safety net. They may wonder if, statistically, the skies are getting more dangerous. They may ask themselves - is 2014 trending toward one of the deadliest years in aviation history? Experts say no, don't be nervous. Just look carefully at the chart below:

As you can see, the world has actually been enjoying the safest ever overall period in aviation history. The number of yearly aviation deaths and major plane crashes worldwide has been dropping for decades. Last year, 265 people were killed in flight incidents - the safest year in aviation since 1945. This year to date, the worldwide number of aviation deaths has more than doubled, but it's still relatively low. There have been 764 deaths in 12 commercial aviation accidents in 2014, according to late news reports and the Aviation Safety Network, one of several organizations that tracks these statistics. The data — spanning 1946 to the present — includes hijackings, sabotage, and shoot-downs. Just remember that while air travel's going through a bad patch right now, it's nowhere near as bad as it was in 1972 and 1985.

1600 POSTS!

A diaper-clad toddler crashed a Jeep Wrangler into a neighbor's house in Oregon, then he scampered home, sat on the couch, and watched cartoons. The 3-year-old boy was under his mother's watch in Myrtle Creek when the incident happened last week. She was not paying attention to him and he found the keys, got inside the car, and knocked it out of gear. A witness called 911 after seeing the child rolling by in the Jeep before hitting the house. Sensing he was in trouble, the toddler jumped out of the car and dashed home. An officer went to the boy's home and the boy was sitting on the couch watching cartoons like nothing ever happened. Before the accident, an officer saw the boy sitting in the car and warned a relative to keep an eye on him. This is why parents need to be very vigilant and remember that children are very crafty in finding ways to get in trouble. It could be more than just a car being crashed into a house if left unchecked.

NSA's job just got harder

You can run from NSA surveillance, but you can't hide. One way or another, they will be able to snoop on your personal conversations. But there's one tool that could make it much more difficult for the NSA to spy on you. Meet Dark Mail, your personal black box for email. Like Google's Gmail and other email services with robust security tools, Dark Mail encrypts email content, shielding it from government spies. But Dark Mail takes the extra step of cloaking your email's metadata, which includes the subject line and the 'To' and 'From' fields. That way, spies can't easily identify who's sending emails. But why is that important, I hear you ask? Because even if the NSA can't read the body of your message, knowing who you email can trigger extra government scrutiny. The NSA uses email metadata collected on millions of Americans to select specific people for closer surveillance of emails and phone calls. To appreciate how quickly this can balloon, consider that for every one target, nine of their connections get spied on too. This bulk collection of metadata reminds Dark Mail co-creator Ladar Levison of the guilt-by-association of the 1950's commie-hunting McCarthy era. Even though it has now been made harder for the feds to spy on their subjects, Dark Mail is not entirely NSA-proof. The government can still target a person and follow each email's trail. But to do that, the government would have to trace every stop along an email's path - device, server, and everything in between. Using Dark Mail is like mailing an envelope that, on the outside, is only addressed to and from post offices. Finding the actual sender and recipient is not an unsolvable mystery, but Dark Mail does put the drag in dragnet. Used right, this should make it technologically impossible to conduct mass surveillance.

The virus among us

Scientists have discovered a previously unknown virus living in the human gut, according to a study in Nature Communications. Exploring genetic material found in intestinal samples, the international team uncovered the CrAssphage virus. They say the virus could influence the behaviour of some of the most common bacteria in our gut. Experts say these types of viruses, called bacteriophages, have been shown to play a role in chronic diseases. Led by a team at San Diego State University in the USA, scientists scoured genetic information stored in three large international databases. They stumbled upon a piece of DNA, some 100,000 letters long, present in more than half of all samples from the gut, and while cross-checking its identity in global directories, they realised it had never been described before. It is not unusual to go looking for a novel virus and find one, but it's very unusual to find one that so many people have in common. The fact it has flown under the radar for so long is very strange. This begs the obvious question: what other bugs could we be hiding inside our bodies?

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Sex Tape

They did everything but delete this one. And I'm glad they didn't because it was one of the best comedies to hit theatres in 2014, even though reviews have been generally negative so far with a 20% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a 36 out of 100 rating on Metacritic. Despite such bad press, this is one you need to see. You'll thank me later.

Sam & Cat is Sam & Canned

Nickelodeon has canceled "Sam & Cat," with last Saturday's episode serving as its series finale. The show lasted one season. "Sam & Cat," a spinoff starring "iCarly's" Jennette McCurdy and "Victorious'" Ariana Grande, followed two best friends who had an after-school babysitting business. Created by Dan Schneider, the man behind such other Nickelodeon programming as "All That" and "Drake & Josh," the show seemed like a sure thing. But after a successful series premiere, a 40-episode order, a production hiatus in April, rumors of co-star feuds, and more, Nickelodeon has pulled the plug. But the plug won't be pulled on future Pirates of the Caribbean movies. The last we saw of Captain Jack Sparrow, he was on a beach with ol' scallywag Gibbs, reflecting on his decision to deny himself the Fountain of Youth. "Who's to say I won't live forever [anyway], eh?," he says. Despite some delays — and a Lone Ranger-sized hiccup — the long-awaited next chapter in the "Pirates" franchise, following 2011′s "On Stranger Tides," has a new official release date: July 7, 2017 (7/7/17). Common sense dictated that there needed to be another film, even though the fourth film was hardly the best-regarded of Capt. Jack's adventures. Still, it grossed more than $1 billion around the world. A fifth film, at one point titled "Dead Men Tell No Tales," was initially targeted for a 2015 release, with Kon-Tiki directors Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg taking over for Rob Marshall, who in turn had taken over for Gore Verbinski. But last summer, shortly after "The Lone Ranger" had put a $190 million dent in Disney's bottom line, the project was delayed, due to budgetary concerns and an unfinished script. Now, Disney is recalibrating Sparrow's course for 2017, by which point there should be 28 seasons' worth of The Simpsons online. That's right, people, FXX is launching "Simpsons World," a new way of getting on demand "Simpsons" content, in October. For the first time, viewers can access every episode of the series via their computer or other networked devices. Authenticated FX viewers will have instant access on iPhone, iPad, Xbox One, Xbox 360, Android phones and tablets, Smart TVs, and additional set-top devices. Viewers will also be able to search for specific quotes, curate their own own personalized playlists, and share their favorite show clips and quotes. "I don't want to over-promise, but this website can provide you with affordable health care," joked longtime "Simpsons" executive producer Al Jean.

Societal cancer found to cause cancer

That's right, people. Children who are frequently abused by a parent have a higher risk of cancer in adulthood. The new study from researchers at Purdue University, published online in the Journal of Aging and Health, reveals that the effects are particularly significant when mothers abuse their daughters and fathers abuse their sons. Kenneth Ferraro, distinguished professor of sociology and director of Purdue's Center on Aging and the Life Course, commented: "People often say that children are resilient and they'll bounce back, but we found that there are events that can have long-term consequences on adult health. In this case, people who were frequently emotionally or physically abused by their parents were more likely to have cancer in adulthood, and the link was greater when fathers abused sons and mothers abused daughters. Overall, the more frequent and intense the abuse, the more it elevated the cancer risk. We would like to see child abuse noted as an environmental factor that can increase cancer occurrence in adulthood. More research on this topic also could help mediate the effects or improve interventions to help abused children." So all child-abusers need to stop and think - not only do you run the risk of criminal prosecution for your actions now, you could be harming and scarring your victims in more ways than one.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: The iPhone 6 display

The sapphire display set to feature on Apple's iPhone 6 might not be as scratch-proof as first thought. A display panel allegedly belonging to the iPhone 6 got put through its paces on video this month, with the screen's supposed sapphire crystal coating proving "impossible to scratch" - withstanding keys, a knife, and a foot. However, it now seems that the screen might not be as scratch-proof as first thought, as Marques Brownlee - the same chap who treated us to the last video - has gone at the screen once again and this time around he was armed with sandpaper. Brownlee has once again attacked the 4.7in panel - with the iPhone 6 also expected to launch in a 5.5in version - and uses the Mohs scale to try to guage how much sapphire the panel actually contains. First, Brownlee tests the sapphire panel with garnett sandpaper, which ranks about 7.0 on the Mohs scale, meaning it should be able to scratch Gorilla Glass but not the sapphire display. However, the screen manages to pick up a few scratches - which means that the screen on the iPhone 6 is unlikely to be 100 percent sapphire. This is further proven by the handset's TouchID sensor, which being made from 100 percent sapphire, didn't pick up any marks whatsoever. Next, Brownlee tests the screen with emery sandpaper, which ranks around the 8.0 mark on the Mohs scale, and while it holds up much better than the Gorilla Glass panel of the iPhone 5S, it picks up a fair few scuffs. This likely means that, while the screen on the iPhone 6 will contain sapphire, it will likely be a sapphire/glass blend. Let's hope Apple get it right before next year's release.

Airline about to take a dive

James Garner, the US star of hit TV series The Rockford Files and Maverick and films including The Great Escape, has died aged 86, but an airline could soon join him. That's right, shares in Malaysia Airlines closed down 11% in Malaysia following the crash of flight MH17 in Ukraine en route from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur. Some Asian stock markets also ended the day lower on fears the crash may intensify political tensions between the West, Ukraine, and Russia. This is the second catastrophe to hit Malaysia Airlines this year after flight MH370 disappeared in March. Even if this is pure coincidence, it's never happened in history that a flag carrier has seen two wide-body aircraft disappearing in a few months, and questions are now being asked about whether the carrier can survive. It's made it this far, but the company has been losing money for many years and its market value has fallen by more than 40% in the past nine months. Without significant funding, the airline may not survive beyond a year, and even if the airline was to secure financing, questions about its longer-term viability remain.

RJ get smoked out by 11-digit fine

A US court has ordered the country's second largest cigarette company to pay US$23.6 billion (yes, billion) to the wife of a smoker who died of lung cancer. RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company was hit with the punitive fine in addition to a tiny-by-comparison US$16.8 million in compensatory damages. Cynthia Robinson first took action against the firm in 2008, seeking compensation for her husband's death in 1996. During the four-week trial, lawyers for Ms Robinson argued that RJ Reynolds was negligent in informing consumers of the dangers of consuming tobacco. This negligence, her lawyers said, led to her husband Michael Johnson Sr contracting lung cancer from smoking after becoming "addicted" and failing multiple attempts to quit. RJ Reynolds plans to appeal against the court's decision, vice president and assistant general counsel Jeffery Raborn said in a statement, adding "this verdict goes far beyond the realm of reasonableness and fairness, and is completely inconsistent with the evidence presented." Tough. RJ Reynolds took a calculated risk by manufacturing cigarettes and selling them to consumers without properly informing them of the hazards. The fine, which is said to be the largest of any individual case stemming from a class action lawsuit filed in Florida, will send a message to RJ Reynolds and other big tobacco companies that will force them to stop putting the lives of innocent people in jeopardy.

We're 200 days into 2014

And here's ten other numbers that have been in the news so far this year:

• 60 - years between Germany's first and fourth World Cup victories
• 5,484 - days between Pam Dawber's last two acting roles (I'll Remember April which according to Wikipedia was released on 5 April 1999, and the third-to-last episode of The Crazy Ones which premiered in the USA and Canada on 10 April 2014 and will air on FOUR in New Zealand exactly seven months later)
• 2 - Malaysian Airlines flights that went wrong (MH370 in March and MH17 a few days ago)
• 3 - Commonwealth Games will have been held in Scotland as of the end of the upcoming edition
• 295 - medals won all up at Sochi
• 51 - points were scored all up in Super Bowl XLVIII
• 25 - months Julian Assange has spent in the Ecuadorean Embassy in London just to avoid extradition to Sweden then possibly to America
• 29 - Indian states now exist with the creation of Telangana early last month
• 4 - American TV shows I can't stand will thankfully be ending after the upcoming season (those are Glee, Two and a Half Men, Parenthood, and Parks and Recreation); maybe The Crazy Ones could come back in fall of 2015 and fill one of those voids
• 97 - more days until Richard Dean Anderson (aka MacGyver) comes to New Zealand

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

That was one of the best movies I've ever seen, as were the 3D effects. But don't just take my word for it - upon its release, the film was met with critical acclaim from critics. It currently holds a Rotten Tomatoes score of 91% based on 181 reviews with an average rating of 8 out of 10. The website's consensus reads, "With intelligence and emotional resonance to match its stunning special effects, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes expands on its predecessor with an exciting and ambitious burst of sci-fi achievement." On Metacritic, the film has a "generally favorable" rating score of 79 out of 100, based on 45 reviews. This is one you need to see.

Airbnb logo looks like Airtna

Airbnb released a new logo yesterday, and it looks like a... well, judge for yourself. The online rentals site said the new logo, dubbed "Bélo," is supposed to convey a sense of "belonging." Plenty of people on social media aren't seeing that. They're looking at two bulbs dangling and the circle-within-a-triangle design, and saying what your middle schooler and your psychotherapist were both thinking: That looks like genitalia. The Internet seems split on whether it's male or female genitalia - or both. Breasts and a rear end have also been discussed. But reaction on Twitter has been fairly unequivocal - something's amiss about Airbnb's new logo. Here's what the Twittersphere think:

• "looks majorly obscene," @LouiseMensch tweeted on Wednesday afternoon.
• @TadCarpenter cracked that the "Airbnb's new logo is probably my favorite testicle based logo for sure."
• "I think the new airbnb mark is thoughtful and well done, and anyone who says it looks like genitals is just a big weiner," wrote @zohf.

That about sums it up, doesn't it? Airbnb explained in post on its website that new logo incorporates symbols like an upside-down heart, a mobile map-app pin (in the center), and a letter A for Airbnb. They wanted the logo to be simple to draw so that users can post the logo as a welcoming gesture.

WaterSaver acting like WatersTester

Spend more than 6 minutes a day in the bathroom at Chicago's WaterSaver Faucet company and you'll face disciplinary measures. That's what a union contends the manufacturer is pulling: timing bathroom breaks and warning employees when they can't beat the clock. The union, Teamsters local 743, filed a complaint with the National Labor Relations Board claiming WaterSaver unfairly disciplined 19 workers in June for "excessive use" of washrooms. The company's human resources department described "excessive use of the bathroom as... 60 minutes or more over the last 10 working days," according to the affidavit. Do the math and it works out to 6 minutes a day. The company has spreadsheets on every union employee on how long they were in the bathroom, and there have even been meetings with workers and HR where the workers had to explain what they were doing in the bathroom. It's not only an invasion of privacy, but also unreasonable given that the human body can't always perform on cue. Also, the company's 140 workers don't have paid sick days. Workers who can't afford to lose a day's pay come into work sick, and may end up using bathrooms more, so paid sick days are also something WaterSaver might want to look into.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: The 25 months Julian Assange has been stuck inside the Ecuadorean Embassy

And of course the 6.8 million pounds the round-the-clock police presence has cost the British taxpayer at time of posting. According to this site, that would've paid for over 5.5 million meals for the needy, 34,000 kids fully vaccinated, nearly 27,000 hospital beds for one night, 12,000 children sent to school for a year, or 300 teachers' salaries for one year. Thanks a lot, Sweden. That's almost eighty million kronor your stubborn refusal to just go to the Embassy and question him about his alleged sexual misconduct there has cost the British taxpayer.

Deutschland, Deutschland, they're the champions

But Singapore scored an own goal with its anti-gambling advert during the World Cup. An ad campaign warning of the perils of gambling that began as just another bland public service announcement by Singapore’s government has turned into fodder for international mockery, and left authorities scrambling after Germany’s World Cup victory. In the TV version of the ad, which debuted last month when the World Cup kicked off, a sullen young boy named Andy tells his friends in the playground that his father had used all of Andy’s savings to bet on Germany to win the tournament. Sad piano music is cued and a message is displayed: "Often, the people who suffer from problem gambling aren’t the gamblers." The PSA wasn’t lampooned until Germany won its first match against Portugal, 4-0. As the World Cup progressed and the Germans looked more and more like favourites to win the title, the mocking of the ad intensified, with many wondering if little Andy and his dad were going to make a killing on the bet, which they did. After Germany’s stunning 7-1 semifinal drubbing of Brazil, the ad prompted ridiculing on The Tonight Show. "Cheer up, kid, your dad bet on Germany," host Jimmy Fallon said. "He’s so rich you don’t even need to go to college anymore." Is he? Not yet, for the council rushed to post a new ad on its website. It features Andy’s friend asking him: "Your dad’s team won. Did you get your savings back?" Andy replies: "No, Dad never stops - he wants to bet one more time." Andy's father, if you're reading this, you need help. That "one more time" will turn into tens, hundreds, maybe even thousands more bets. You could lose more than just Andy's savings by this time next year. It's not too late.

Hey ho, they're gone

Tom Erdelyi hadn’t planned to become Tommy Ramone, but circumstances forced him into a new identity as the drummer and driving force behind one of the most influential and unforgettable rock-and-roll bands of the 1970s. He was the last surviving member of the Ramones, the seminal New York punk group whose buzzsaw music and don’t-give-a-rip attitude have been a lasting influence for more than a generation. Mr. Erdelyi (or Ramone, as he was better known), who was 62, died Friday at his home in Queens. The official Facebook and Twitter accounts of the Ramones confirmed his death. The cause was bile-duct cancer. All four band members were unrelated and had different last names, but as a show of brotherly solidarity, each band member adopted the last name Ramone. The band had read that Paul McCartney had checked into hotels as Paul Ramone, derived from the name of pop-music producer Phil Ramone. The other original Ramones included Joey (Jeffrey Hyman, died in 2001 of lymphatic cancer) on vocals; Johnny (John Cummings, died in 2004 of prostate cancer) on guitar; and Dee Dee (Douglas Colvin, died in 2002 of a drug overdose) on bass. One person that didn't die, however, is Cassidy Stay. Just a day after being released from the hospital, she took center stage at a memorial ceremony yesterday morning to grieve with hundreds of friends and neighbors and to search for light in the horrifying murder of her parents and four siblings. Fifteen-year-old Cassidy thanked first responders, doctors, and well-wishers for their tremendous support as she stood at a podium outside a Spring elementary school in sweltering mid-morning heat. "I'm really thankful for all of the people who have been praying for me and keeping me and my family in their thoughts these past few days," Cassidy said. "I'm feeling a lot better, and I'm on a straightforward path to recovery." That's good to hear, and so is this: Ronald Lee Haskell, a 33-year-old Utah man who was married to Cassidy's maternal aunt before their divorce earlier this year, is charged with capital murder in the deaths of Cassidy's family, and is being held without bail. Authorities say that on Wednesday evening, he arrived at the home of Katie and Stephen Stay, dressed as a FedEx delivery driver. He had worked for the company until January of this year, according to company officials. Haskell asked to see Cassidy's parents, but left after she told him they weren't there. He returned a short time later, and entered the home again, allegedly tying up Cassidy and her siblings and waiting for her parents to return home from the bank. When they arrived, he apparently also tied them up and made them lie facedown, asking for the whereabouts of Melannie Lyon, his ex-wife, before shooting them in the back of the head. Cassidy's parents Stephen and Katie, and her siblings Bryan, Emily, Rebecca, and Zach all died. Cassidy was injured in the head and hand in the shooting, but survived by playing dead and waiting until Haskell fled in the family's Honda sedan, then called authorities. Police intercepted him as he was driving to the nearby home of Cassidy's grandparents, where Lyon and her children were also living.