FINAL FILM BEAT: Horrible Bosses 2

Before I begin, I will not be continuing the Friday Film Beat into 2015. Tonight's post will be one final review before we say goodbye to 2014 and hello to 2015. Also, the Bellend of the Month feature will be moved from the last of the month to the first of the following month. This month's Bellend of the Month will be revealed tomorrow. Now onto the film review: Horrible Bosses 2 was much better than the first one. You really need to see it if you haven't done so. Need I say more?

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: That it has to end

But don't despair, people. There's still tomorrow (speaking of which, if you haven't seen Annie yet, please do so) before 2014 has to end. And 2015 will hopefully be better, because we've got a whole new CSI (it's called CSI: Cyber, and yes, they will be using a song by The Who as the theme), the end of Two and a Half Men (which came twelve seasons too late), Robin Williams' final film (which is called Absolutely Anything and will have the distinction of being his first and only British film), this blog's 2000th post, and many more great things to come.

LVG turnaround continues slowly but surely

Manchester United made it nine games without defeat this morning after rounding off the 2014 calendar year with a goalless draw against Tottenham Hotspur at White Hart Lane. With both sides playing open, attacking football, the best chances fell to Louis van Gaal's team but some rare lapses in finishing and an excellent display by the hosts' goalkeeper Hugo Lloris led to the game ending in stalemate. Van Gaal named an unchanged side to the one that defeated Newcastle United 3-1 at home on Boxing Day, making it the first time since November 2012 that the Reds' line-up remained the same in consecutive matches, only this time there were six yellow cards all up. A draw is not good enough if Man United want the Premiership back. Man City and Chelsea are still ahead on the table by 7 and 10 points respectively, and one point isn't going to narrow the gap as much as all three points will.

United outclass United in true Reds fashion

Wayne Rooney inspired Manchester United to a 3-1 win over Newcastle yesterday morning by scoring twice and setting up another for Robin van Persie, even if Papiss Cisse's late penalty took some of the gloss off a fine day at Old Trafford. The victory means the Reds are now unbeaten in eight Barclays Premier League matches and have recorded 11 straight wins on Boxing Day. Well done, boys, even if three players did get booked on the day.

Tablet Wars

A not-so-long time ago in a land far, far away, some people had labeled Apple as barking mad for dreaming up the idea of a 12.9-inch iPad Pro. Interestingly however, it appears Sony was not and is not part of such a group. Word on the grapevine this Boxing Day morn is that Apple’s Japanese rival-in-tech has been assembling its own answer to the so-called iPad Air Plus behind the scenes ahead of an intended Q1 launch. Just like the Cupertino company’s slate, Sony’s titanic tablet will apparently boast a 12.9-inch touchscreen and considerably more power than anything we’ve seen from the Xperia lineup to date. As far as the initial round of leaks have so far laid bare, Sony’s as-yet unnamed power-tab will feature a Qualcomm Snapdragon 810 CPU and an impossibly sharp 3,840 by 2,400 pixel touchscreen – aka 4K Ultra HD. Sources have also tipped a thickness of just 8.6mm and a similar keyboard docking-station or cover to that of Microsoft’s Surface Pro. Seriously, people, just stick with Apple's product. They're the only ones you can trust to make a product that's actually of any use to anyone with any sense. If it's not an Apple, it's crapple no matter how "advanced" it is.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Big Hero 6

There were plenty of good points about this film - the 3D effects, the animation, and the clever mash-up of San Francisco and Tokyo being used as the film's setting to name a few. Critics reception is good too, so go see it if you haven't already.

And next year, it could be three

In each of the years from 2007 to 2012, we've only seen one new iPhone model (iPhone, 3G, 3GS, 4, 4S, and 5 respectively). Last year, it was two - the iPhone 5S and the iPhone 5C. This year, it was two again - iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus. But next year, Apple might be prepping a third iPhone; one that will be welcome to anyone who finds the iPhone 6 too big - let alone the iPhone 6 Plus. Once again, the claim is that Apple is preparing a 4-inch iPhone 6S. The word comes from Cowen and Company analyst Timothy Arcuri in a note obtained by Apple Insider, but the report suggests this is more than just guesswork. Arcuri quoted his own sources, who have indicated that the 4-inch iPhone could be similar to the iPhone 5S but possibly with "curved screen edges" like the new iPhone 6 and 6 Plus. Arcuri's track record with Apple has been hit and miss, but this isn't the first we've heard about a possible 4-inch iPhone. The last rumour pointed to a launch in the second half of 2015, suggesting that we'll see it during the usual September event. And if you want one in your stocking next Christmas, you better be on your best behaviour between now and then otherwise it may well be an iPhone box with a lump of coal in it.

Guess who's back, back again? The Interview's back, tell a friend!

Despite threats from hackers, Sony Pictures is making the controversial Seth Rogen comedy available at a limited number of theaters starting on Christmas, with the movie studio's CEO, Michael Lynton, saying that "while we hope this is only the first step of the film's release, we are proud to make it available to the public and to have stood up to those who attempted to suppress free speech." By last night, slightly more than 200 independently-owned theaters had agreed to show the film. More might still get on board: one Sony source said the studio is "still counting" the total number, and that it could end up "around 300." None of the big theater chains, like AMC or Regal, have said they'll support the Christmas release yet, but they should because it's bound to be a great movie. Even though I might have to wait a bit longer for it to be released in New Zealand (release date not announced yet), I'm looking forward to it even more as a result of what could've been just a publicity stunt.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: That it wasn't Justin Bieber

Robin Williams. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Joan Rivers. Oscar de la Renta. The Hurricane. Just a few of the many good people who died this year. It's a wonder Justin Bieber hasn't joined that list. But a just-as-bad musician has left us. Joe Cocker, the gravelly British singer who became one of pop’s most recognizable interpreters in the late 1960s and ’70s with passionate, idiosyncratic takes on songs like the Beatles’ “With a Little Help From My Friends,” has died at the age of 70 at his home in Colorado. Seriously, why can't Justin Bieber be next? His music is a lot worse than anything else could ever be, so would be perfect for use at Guantanamo as a substitute for waterboarding.

When she thinks about torture, she touches herself

Conservative commentator Ann Coulter was caught masturbating to the Senate’s CIA Torture Report in an Amtrak bathroom as she traveled from Washington DC to New York City via the Silver Service line yesterday. Amy Walker, the Amtrak employee who discovered Coulter, thought the restroom was vacant. When she opened the door, she witnessed Coulter with her legs spread apart and the political pundit playing with her private parts. Coulter, unphased, then told Walker, “Do you mind?” which is when Walker shut the door and patiently waited outside the washroom. “I waited about 45 minutes until she came out and told me ‘Now you can use the bathroom’ and that’s when I noticed she was holding the Senate’s CIA Torture Report,” said Walker. A line had formed outside the bathroom with a dozen witnesses confirming Coulter left the restroom with the torture report in hand and a glowing smile on her face. Multiple passengers waiting in line said, “We were just in DC; everyone was reading that Torture Report and that was definitely what she was holding.” The bathroom wait time continued as Walker said, “It took me another 30 minutes to clean up the wet, smelly mess left inside in the bathroom. I’ve seen some crazy stuff on this D.C. to New York train but this was the grossest. It’s not every ride a solo porn video is being conducted in your bathroom.” Amtrak, however, is unamused by her actions. Spokesman Thomas Cooper has told reporters, “This isn’t Europe. We don’t condone this type of behavior on our trains. We will be looking into the matter and will publish a report when all the findings are assembled and dissected. After our investigation, we will determine if banning Ann Coulter from all Amtrak trains will be necessary. Our apologies to those affected by the bathroom wait time. We want a family friendly environment here at Amtrak. This isn’t a trucker pit-stop off Interstate 80.” Even if it were a trucker pit-stop, I would've waited until I got home before jacking off to the report instead of inconveniencing all the other passengers. And besides, it's more fun to do it in a plane than on a train.

And the three-point streak ends with a draw

Radamel Falcao rescued a point for Manchester United at Villa Park this morning with a brilliant second-half header as the Reds were held 1-1 by ten-man Aston Villa. The Barclays Premier League’s lowest scorers took the lead against the run of play on 18 minutes through Christian Benteke’s fine finish, before Falcao struck early in the second period to earn a draw for United, who remain third in the table. Louis van Gaal stuck with the same system which helped United overcome Liverpool, but he made two changes to the first XI, with Darren Fletcher coming in for the ill Marouane Fellaini and Falcao's first start since Everton at home at the start of October. No yellow cards were shown, but United’s cause was given a boost on 65 minutes when the hosts went down to ten men as Gabby Agbonlahor was sent off for a late tackle. The Reds should've done something with that opening. Drawing isn't good enough when it comes to improving their position on the table. Just one point at a time isn't going to put the silverware back in Old Trafford's trophy cabinet. LVG needs to shape up or ship out.

Obama leads charge against Sony hackers

President Barack Obama has vowed a US response after North Korea's alleged cyber-attack on Sony Pictures. The US leader also said the studio "made a mistake" in cancelling the Christmas release of The Interview, a satire depicting the assassination of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un. Sony said it still planned to release the film "on a different platform". US authorities have linked North Korea to the hack, which saw sensitive studio information publicly released. Sony said it cancelled the planned Christmas release of the film after a majority of cinemas refused to show it following anonymous threats. "We will respond," Obama told reporters. "We will respond proportionately and in a space, time, and manner that we choose. We cannot have a society in which some dictator someplace can start imposing censorship in the United States." I agree with him, and if I was in charge of the release, I would be moving ahead instead of caving in to terrorist threats because not only do the terrorists not get what they want, if even one public showing of any movie takes place in Los Angeles County, California before the end of the year, then it can be nominated for an Oscar. And if my family and I are taken to North Korea and imprisoned for three generations (that is actually a thing over there) over the film's release, then so be it.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Paddington

I would've done this week's one about The Hobbit but Paddington was funnier, especially at the bit where he messed up the bathroom and cleaned his ears with the Browns' toothbrushes. Paddington received "very positive" reviews from British critics, according to The Straits Times. Indiewire said critics were "pleasantly surprised" and that the film was "hailed for its warm-heartedness and playful sense of humor and [Ben] Whishaw's charming performance". Rotten Tomatoes sampled 36 reviews and judged 97% of them to be positive. The site's consensus reads "Paddington brings a beloved children's character into the 21st century without sacrificing his essential charm, delivering a family-friendly adventure as irresistibly cuddly as its star." On Metacritic, the film has a score of 77 out of 100, based on 9 critics, indicating "generally favorable reviews". With reviews like that, I suggest you go see this.

Will another Elizabeth Gallagher please stand up?

And it looks like one has, for Toronto man who made headlines last month by offering a free round-the-world air ticket to a woman with the same name as his ex-girlfriend has found Ms. Right. Jordan Axani and his then girlfriend, named Elizabeth Gallagher, booked heavily discounted round-the-world air tickets in May, but their relationship ended and he didn't want her ticket to go to waste. The ticket had a strict no-transfer policy, but since passport information was not required when booking, it can be used by any Canadian named Elizabeth Gallagher. Axani posted his offer last month on the popular Reddit social media website, and received thousands of emails, including 18 from actual Elizabeth Gallaghers with Canadian passports. He's now chosen his travel mate, Elizabeth Quinn Gallagher, a 23-year-old student and part-time office administrator from Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia. "It's strictly a platonic trip. It's going to be great," Axani said. At first the new Elizabeth Gallagher thought a trip with a stranger whose ex-girlfriend's name is the same as hers was "crazy" but she hit it off with Axani after talking on the phone with him for hours. She already has a boyfriend though, and she acknowledged her boyfriend isn't thrilled. "He understands that I've always wanted to travel so while he's not happy I'm taking off for nearly a month at Christmas with a random guy he's smiling through it," she said. The trip is scheduled to start Dec. 21 in New York City and continue on to Milan, Prague, Paris, Bangkok, and New Delhi before ending in Toronto on Jan. 12. Axani said that after the breakup he deferred all other planning for the trip, such as making hotel reservations. But since the story became public, Marriott International offered to put him and the new Elizabeth Gallagher up, in separate rooms, during their trip. Axani said the trip will be documented and shared online, and will be a sight to behold once we find out where he's posting it all.

Rouble trouble

Russia's embattled ruble extended a week of catastrophic losses by dropping 4% at the opening of trading in Moscow. The world's worst-performing currency along with the Ukrainian hryvnia, the ruble has lost more than 50% of its value this year. It traded at 70.7 per dollar this morning local time, or 4% lower than at closing yesterday. The ruble lost over 15% of its value this week despite a 6.5% interest rate hike by the Russian central bank. "This is a very dangerous situation, we are just a few away from a full-blown run on the banks," Russia's leading business daily Vedomosti said in an editorial today. "If one does not calm down the currency market right now, the banking system will need robust emergency care." The ruble has fallen sharply in recent weeks and is down more than 50% since January, due to sinking oil prices as well as the impact of Western sanctions imposed over Russia's involvement in Ukraine's crisis. If this is what Putin's doing to Russia, I'm not surprised. It's just proving my point that Russia hasn't really changed that much since its communist days. Even Justin Bieber would be a better president than Putin.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Extinction

A northern white rhino has died. There are now five left in the entire world. Angalifu was 44 when he died of old age on Sunday at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park, California. He was a northern white rhinoceros, a species on the brink of extinction. Following his death, there are just five northern white rhinos left worldwide, all in captivity. That's five northern white rhinos compared to over seven billion humans. The San Diego Zoo has one remaining northern white rhino, an elderly female named Nola. Despite the hopes of conservationists, Angalifu and Nola were unable to breed, and in addition to Nola, the world's only remaining northern white rhinos are:

• Sudan, a male living in the Ol Pejeta Conservancy in Kenya. He's now the final remaining male of his species.
• Najin and Fatu, two females living in the Kenya preserve with Sudan.
• An elderly female at the Dvur Kralove Zoo in the Czech Republic. The zoo is responsible for the care of Sudan, Najin, and Fatu, and sent them to Kenya as part of a last-ditch breeding program.

Proud of yourselves, poachers? Thanks to your crap, that particular species has likely already lost its last chance for natural reproduction. In October, a male called Suni - the first of his kind ever born in captivity - died of unknown causes in Kenya, where he was part of the breeding program with Sudan, Najin, and Fatu.

Reds continue journey back to the top

Manchester United swept historic arch-rivals Liverpool aside with a fine 3-0 win to record the Reds’ sixth consecutive victory. Goals from Wayne Rooney and Juan Mata gave Louis van Gaal’s side the comfort of a two-goal lead before half-time, with Robin van Persie scoring number three after the break. But even though seven yellow cards were shown all up, United were once again indebted to goalkeeper David De Gea, who made the first of several crucial saves seconds before Rooney’s opener. A magnificent effort to touch a Mario Balotelli shot onto his bar at 2-0 kept the frustrated visitors at bay, and even after van Persie had sealed the game, De Gea was using his body and feet to prevent any kind of consolation goal for the Merseysiders, and he is an asset to the van Gaal-era Man United. If they keep this up, the silverware could be back in their cabinet going into next season.

Search for new search engine is over

Facebook has quietly removed Microsoft-owned Bing as its primary search engine, according to a new report. The social network pulled Bing search from its Graph Search platform in exchange for its own search tool that will allow users to find information related to friends' posts and comments. Facebook was using Bing to produce search results as its in-house search engine, allowing Facebook users to look for more information about their friends. Selecting Bing as a partner was also a way for Facebook to keep rival Google's search engine away from the social network. The move comes as Facebook strengthens its other search tools. Earlier this week, it updated the method to search for old Facebook posts. The social network also revamped its trending news section, which makes it easier to find news and read different perspectives on the day's most popular stories, and it added a Twitter-like live feed that includes user mentions. That's right, people. Facebook is still evolving after ten years, and it's anybody's guess what improvement will come next.

A pox on Angelina

Filmmaker and actress Angelina Jolie has said she has chicken pox and will not be able to attend events for World War Two drama "Unbroken," her second film as director. "I just want to be clear and honest why I will be missing the 'Unbroken' events in the next few days, which is that I found out last night that I have chicken pox," Jolie said in a video released by Universal Pictures on YouTube. "So I will be home, itching and missing everyone and I can't believe it because this film means so much to me. I just can't believe it, but such is life," said the 39-year-old mother of six and wife of Brad Pitt. At the end of the 39-second video, she throws up her hands and then waves goodbye. Speaking of goodbye, New Zealand is having to say goodbye to its only free sports channel, which has folded after 18 months on air and stopped broadcasting yesterday at midday (New Zealand Daylight Time). Sommet Sports says it had the vision of 'Free Sports for Kiwis' but said funding it thought would be available never materialised. A press statement from the company said it was subsequently forced to deliver a nationwide broadcast channel on one third of the finance. "I am totally gutted at not being able to sustain something that we have long held a fervent desire to deliver to New Zealanders. Sommet was born from a dream to deliver free sports to all kiwis. Sadly this dream is not to be." Sommet Sports director Andrew Reeves said in a statement, adding "being the new kids on the block, we also struggled to gain a strong foothold with most advertising agencies. This coupled with an acute funding shortage has left us with the sad reality of having to make the difficult call." Sommet Sports had rights to many events I personally don't care that much about anyway, including but not limited to the Bundesliga (German football league), Chelsea TV, UEFA Europa League (especially as Manchester United didn't even qualify for that no thanks to David Moyes), and MotoGP.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

There was nothing terrible, horrible, no good, or very bad about this one. In fact, this is possibly one of the funniest I've seen this year, especially at the bit where Dick van Dyke was reading a children's book with an unfortunate typo where the word jump was changed to dump. However, not all of the critics agree, but this is still one you need to see.

All's fair in love and football... or is it?

Obviously not, because a die-hard Houston Texans fan who posted a photo of airline tickets to an away game on Facebook had an extremely rude awakening about online security when a rival team's fan apparently used the information to cancel them. The tickets from Houston to Jacksonville were what Alice Rodriguez considered the ultimate birthday surprise from her boyfriend when in her excitement she shared a photo of the boarding passes on the Traveling Texans Facebook page. "I was like 'Oh my God! I'm going to Jacksonville for my birthday!'" she recalled her surprise to local TV station KHOU. It was while gearing up for the big weekend trip that her boyfriend Carlos received an unexpected email from Southwest Airlines, informing them that their tickets had been mysteriously canceled. The apparent villain behind the attack was meanwhile boasting of his success online. "So these people posted their flight info on the Texans going to Jax FB page so I canceled their tix," a complete bellend who went by the Twitter name "DuvalUndertaker" posted while including a screen grab of the cancellation confirmation. The post included a hashtag for a Jacksonville Jaguars supporters group. "We had no idea what was going on, on social media or anything," said Rodriguez, who immediately went about contacting the airline and making things right. People shouldn't be doing that. But at the same time, people shouldn't be posting their flight details online unless they remove the booking numbers and any other info that can be used by some douche to screw about with their booking.

Nuts about nuts

The final season of Mork and Mindy is finally out on DVD. Not only that, the third season of Hart to Hart, which also formed part of ABC's 1981-82 schedule, has also been released on DVD. But enough about that because a Korean Air executive has resigned from some of her duties after she ordered a flight from New York to be turned around to the gate and a flight attendant off the plane because she was served nuts in a bag instead of on a plate. Heather Cho, whose Korean name is Cho Hyun-ah, resigned from the airline's catering and in-flight sales business, and its cabin service and hotel business divisions, but she is keeping her title as a vice president of the national carrier. The incident occurred on Friday at New York's JFK airport on a flight due to take off for South Korea's Incheon International Airport, outside Seoul. Cho reportedly demanded that the plane go back to the gate so that a crew member who served her macadamia nuts out of a bag rather than on a plate in First Class could be kicked off the flight. Although her role put her in charge of in-flight service, she was only a passenger on this flight and was not flying in an official capacity, so backing up the plane to order an employee to deplane over something silly like bags of nuts was an excessive act, and as for the next steps, there is an investigation going on, so we will have to see.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Playing against a resurgent Manchester United

Robin van Persie’s brace lifted Manchester United into third place in the Barclays Premier League with a 2-1 win over Southampton at St Mary’s this morning. The Dutchman’s fifth and sixth goals in five starts against the Saints extended the Reds’ winning run to five successive matches and ensured Graziano Pelle’s first goal since October was nothing more than a consolation as Louis van Gaal’s men leapfrogged the hosts and also West Ham in the table. United were made to work hard for the win though, and could be thankful for a couple of second-half interventions made by David De Gea to prevent the hosts from increasing their goal tally on an evening when Southampton showed plenty of attacking intent. But today's post isn't just about Louis van Gaal going from being just another David Moyes to just another Alex Ferguson. The final season of Mork and Mindy is almost out on DVD, and the last of nine videos being posted in the buildup is Robin Williams & Pam Dawber being interviewed before the first airing of Mork & Mindy. The interview took place at Century City in July 1978:

Game over for Baer

Ralph H. Baer, who turned television sets into electronic fantasy lands by inventing and patenting the first home video game system, died on Saturday at his home in Manchester, New Hampshire at the age of 92. His death was confirmed by his family. Video games have become more than just a ubiquitous pastime and a gigantic market (by some estimates, total worldwide sales of console hardware and software and online, mobile and computer games exceeded $90 billion in 2013). They are also an engine that has driven scientists and engineers to multiply computer speed, memory, and visualization to today’s staggering capabilities. Flash back to the sultry late summer of 1966: Mr. Baer is sitting on a step outside the Port Authority Bus Terminal in Manhattan waiting for a colleague. By profession, he is an engineer overseeing 500 employees at a military contractor. Today, a vision has gripped him, and he begins scribbling furiously on a yellow legal pad with a No. 2 pencil. The result was a detailed four-page outline for a “game box” that would allow people to play board, action, sports, and other games on almost any American television set. An intrigued boss gave him $2,000 for research and $500 for materials and assigned two men to work with him. For all three, as they plowed through prototype after prototype in a secret workshop, the project became an obsession, and so began the long journey to today's Xbox One and PS4 machines. On the subject of long, it has been a long wait for the final season of Mork and Mindy to be released on DVD, and tonight's buildup video is the longest one so far. So clear your schedules as we present the Intimate Portrait special on Pam Dawber, which aired on Lifetime in 2002:

Director boldly quitting like nobody has quit before

In a bit of surprising news, it has been announced that Roberto Orci will no longer be directing Star Trek 3, which is due for a theatrical release in 2016. The news was confirmed today by Orci’s representatives. No reason was given for the departure, although the rumor mill claims that the script was the reason, with Paramount unhappy over some story elements. Orci will be staying on as producer for Star Trek 3. Edgar Wright is being mentioned as a potential director, as well as Joe Cornish, who was in contention for the director role before Orci was announced. They could try getting J.J. Abrams, who directed the last two, to direct if he wasn't so busy with Star Wars VII. Speaking of seven, today is the seventh day of our buildup to the DVD release of season 4. Tonight's video will be one where Robin Williams explains why he named his daughter Zelda:

Screen versus Screen

Three years ago, entrepreneur Vladislav Martynov got a call from a friend in Russia, suggesting that the two embark on a project to build a smartphone company. Martynov, then based in Canada and actively investing in startups after stints at Microsoft in Seattle and at a firm in Denmark, agreed — but knew they would have to create something truly different. “The innovation had stopped,” he says. Considering the baffling array of near-identical devices on the market today, there seemed little point in producing yet another black slab with a nice screen. What they came up with, first shown in public at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas last year, was indeed different. The Yotaphone, a high-end Android device, came with a standard-issue, high-definition screen on the front and, on the back, an always-on E ink display. It wowed the crowd and won an award for the “hottest mobile device of 2013.” This week, Martynov is on the move, traveling between European capitals promoting the Yotaphone’s more sophisticated successor, Yotaphone 2. But why, you might ask, does a phone need two screens? The E ink screen remains on, allowing people to quickly glance at their phones to review new texts, emails, the time, or the weather, without having to turn the main screen on and off. It's also much more readable in bright sunlight, which is an important consideration in places like the Middle East and India (though it doesn’t have a slot for a second SIM, a standard feature in those places). That's all well and good, but it doesn't have a DVD player, therefore you will need a Plan B for watching the final season of Mork and Mindy when it comes out on DVD on Tuesday (date may vary depending on market). To mark the occasion, I have been posting YouTube videos alternating between the show's stars Robin Williams and Pam Dawber. Tonight, we have Pam's appearance on The Late Late Show in April:

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Nightcrawler

Restless, visually sleek, and powered by a star performance from Jake Gyllenhaal, Nightcrawler offers dark, thought-provoking thrills. It was overall a strong directorial debut from Dan Gilroy, and the critics agree - it has a "certified fresh" score of 95% on Rotten tomatoes based on 186 reviews with an average rating of 8.2 out of 10, and a score of 76 out of 100 on Metacritic based on 45 critics indicating generally favourable reviews. To sum up, it was a great movie, but it didn't have Robin Williams in it (not that it would've worked). Not to worry, because we have some for you right now:

Ebola virus a no-show at malaria party

The initial test for Ebola on a patient admitted to Massachusetts General Hospital yesterday with suspected Ebola virus disease is negative. The patient has, however, tested positive for malaria, and whoever that patient is should be glad it's not Ebola. Western medicine can easily take care of malaria, but with Ebola, the prognosis is not so good. Those who have already died of it, or anything for that matter, will not be around when the final season of Mork and Mindy comes out on DVD, and in the case of the children, they won't grow up. Speaking of both, tonight's video, which is being posted here in the buildup, will be of Pam Dawber in character as Mindy singing "I Won't Grow Up" from the Broadway musical "Peter Pan". The clip is from season 2 episode "Looney Tunes and Morkie Melodies".

Four wins again, naturally

Manchester United recorded a fourth win in a row for the first time since December 2013 with a 2-1 triumph over Stoke City at a chilly Old Trafford this morning. Marouane Fellaini’s first-half header and Juan Mata’s free-kick - from which Marcos Rojo tried to claim a decisive touch - ensured the Reds collected another three points, although, not for the first time this season, an inspired moment from David De Gea was needed to safeguard the victory. Steven Nzonzi equalised for the Potters before the break and Mame Biram Diouf almost did the same, twice, in the dying seconds of the game but was thwarted by the Reds' no.1 and then an Ashley Young goal-line clearance. And with each victory, it gets closer to the DVD release of season 4 of Mork and Mindy. Speaking of which, tonight's video will be the first part of Robin Williams' appearance on Parkinson in 2002:

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Redoing the makeup on your friends' Barbie dolls

Bonus points if you borrow makeup and Magic Markers from your parents like Pam Dawber admitted to doing in this interview from 2010, which is being posted here in the buildup to season 4 of Mork and Mindy, and the box set of all four seasons, being released on DVD next week. (WARNING: Mild obscenity 1 minute 8 seconds in):

Reds working their way back to pre-Moyes form

Manchester United made it three wins on the spin for the first time in 2014 with a convincing 3-0 defeat of Hull City at a misty Old Trafford yesterday morning. Chris Smalling and Wayne Rooney handed Louis van Gaal's men a commanding first-half lead and Robin van Persie answered some of his recent critics with an explosive third to clinch another welcome three points in a match where no yellow or red cards were dished out. But there is more to today's post than Loser van Gaal's recent failure to live up to the loser part of that nickname as the final season of Mork and Mindy will available on DVD in Region 1 on the 9th. Over the next week, I will be putting up YouTube videos of the main stars, alternating each day between Robin Williams and Pam Dawber. Tonight's clip will be from when Robin Williams played that stupid Heads Up game on Ellen:

Going through the door: too much money

The Bellend of the Month for November 2014 is Josh Hodgson, an English rugby league star who ran through and destroyed a door in a student flat for a party trick. Hodgson faces disciplinary action after being filmed running into and crashing through a closed internal door early on the 9th at a party attended by some English players after being knocked out of the 2014 Four Nations tournament by New Zealand the night before. In the video, which has gone viral, partygoers can be heard chanting, "Go through the door", just before the player smashes through it. After the stunt, Hodgson emerges grinning to cheers from the group. But that's where the fun and games end because there's the issue of a NZ$400-500 repair bill. So be careful next time you choose to host a party in rented accommodation, because the damage may well be on your head.

It's a backpack loaded up with Grants and Benjies too, any dough that you might need it's all inside for you

In the decade since he bought a small Burger King franchise on North Bascom Avenue, Altaf Chaus has rarely grappled with questions more existentially challenging than, "Would you like fries with that?" But this week, Chaus found himself at the center of a debate that was such an ethical whopper it quickly went national: What would you do if somebody walked out of your fast food restaurant $100,000 lighter, and never came back for the money? Just as Chaus was about to leave work Wednesday to celebrate his birthday, two employees brought him a backpack that had been abandoned in a booth, where it sat for hours under a sign that reminded diners to SAVOR EACH MOMENT. Eager to get to his Hayward home, Chaus unzipped the blue bag with brown piping, hoping to find a phone number so he could contact the rightful owner. "And then, whoosh," he said, "the money." The backpack contained US$100,000 in corpulent bundles of $100 and $50 bills. Only two weeks earlier, customers had stuck Chaus with three counterfeit $100 bills, so he had put up another sign - in his own handwriting - on the milkshake machine next to the cash register: NO $100 BILLS PLEASE. Now, suddenly, he was holding a bag full of them. The nearly universal first thought was, What would you do if you were him? Chaus was him, and he knew exactly what to do. He called the police. The owner should be lucky it wasn't me who found the bag, because if I had found $100,000, I wouldn't be turning it into the cops. My dad found NZ$10 on the ground one time before I was born, back when according to him, $10 was a lot of money. He made the mistake of turning it into the cop shop, but lucky for him nobody claimed it and it became his. Instead of making that same mistake, I would savour that moment like Chaus's sign says to and I would splurge like never before - one of the first things would be to take my niece and nephew to Peppa Pig World, which is a Peppa Pig-themed attraction at a theme park in England called Paultons Park. Also on my list, I would buy Sony's new e-paper watch, which was hiding in plain sight all along while rumors were circling about the new device. The wearable e-paper device, called the FES Watch, was under development through a company called Fashion Entertainments, which turned out to be associated with the Japanese electronics and entertainment giant, reports the Wall Street Journal. The wearable uses e-paper technology, such as the kind present on the $99 Pebble and the Amazon Kindle tablet. But instead of using e-paper just for the watch face, it uses it for both the face and its wristband surface. This lets the watch take on multiple designs and appearances with just the tap of a button. Though rumors of the device have surfaced only recently, it was sitting on a Japanese crowdfunding site as early as September, with the project raising more than US$23,000. Sony hasn’t confirmed a launch date for the watch, but the project’s crowdfunding site currently targets May 2015 for a release date, by which time if I had found that $100,000, I would've pretty much spent it all, and the small quantity of pot the cops also found in that bag would've been smoked long before then.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Mockingjay Part 1

Not as long as the last two but of course this is only the first part of the final book - it's where the trilogy really starts to get good. So if you haven't seen this movie yet, WHY THE !*$%^@#%*&%&^#$%*^$%!@#$^$#@#$%^&&*&%@%#%$^%&^#$%^#@%$$*^%$%#!*#$%@^$%*!#@#%$$#^@!%@^#!@#$!%*$%%$#*!%$##~@%&^$#%!~@*^*^!#*@$#@!^%$%$@*#!#^%#^$!*&@$!~~!@$#@*^#$%~&@#$%~*#~*!@^>$~#$$$$!@#~#$@@!%%$^^^###!#$^$&*~!%$*^&#$%!@##$*~#%%*$#~!&@#$^!~~#$^&*~@<$&">!^$"*%^$@~<@>"%*^<>"~*%@#$~$!#$^@*~$#@~!%@#$^*#@@##%$*&$%$#!@~$#@#$%*#%#~$~!*&#^$~@#!@$!~@%#!~~"!~#<">~<<>~@>&~!%@!!@*<>%^&~ NOT? The cast and crew put a lot of hard work in to get this out to us. You should really go see this before everyone stops talking about it.

Barr takes on Bill

Roseanne Barr has tweeted and deleted a disturbing photo of her bloody face and joked that she got into a "tussle" with Bill Cosby, who has faced a series of sexual assault allegations recently. The 62-year-old actress posted a selfie of her face looking swollen and bloody under the caption: “tussle w bill cosby,” before swiftly deleting it. She then followed that up with the same image alongside a new caption. “Got a chemical peel to look more sexier. Joked about tussling cosby,” she wrote. This comes after the comedian’s lawyer denied the allegations made against Cosby. In a statement released last Friday Marty Singer said the allegations are “becoming increasingly ridiculous”, and said that news organisations should stop vilifying the Cosby Show actor. But if you think Barr's attempt to get in on the action was bad, just imagine the sort of Bill Cosby-related material Robin Williams would be coming up with had he not hung himself.

#gigatowndunedin wins #gigaspeedinternet

Dunedin has been announced as the winner of Chorus' Gigatown competition, winning New Zealand's fastest broadband. As the winning town, Dunedin (or #gigatowndunedin as it was known during the competition period) will receive access to one gigabit per second internet, a NZ$200,000 development fund to support entrepreneurs and innovators taking new services using the gigabit fibre to market, and a NZ$500,000 community fund to kick start community related developments. But enough about that because Samsung has recently unveiled an eye-tracking mouse, dubbed as EYECAN+, which allows people with disabilities to control their computers with a blink of an eye. The EYECAN+ doesn't require the user to wear any equipment or be in any specific position, it works when users are positioned approximately 2 feet away from the monitor. It is a portable box that is positioned below a computer monitor and it allows users to surf the Internet, write, and edit documents. Samsung stated that they do not plan to sell the system and instead will donate the limited quantity to charity organizations. However, the technology and design will soon be made open source, allowing other groups and companies free rein to commercialize the eye mouse.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Having an all-white grand jury

Protests have erupted across America after a grand jury decided not to indict a white Missouri police officer in the fatal shooting of an unarmed black teenager, with several hundred people storming onto a New York City bridge, 500 demonstrators blocking traffic on a major highway in California and others lying down outside the White House and on a street in Beverly Hills, California. Some demonstrations turned violent, with people looting a store in Chicago; protesters throwing large fireworks, rocks, bottles, and canned food at police in Seattle; and a police car being vandalized in Oakland. The protests broke out after St. Louis County prosecutor Bob McCulloch announced that the grand jury had not indicted Officer Darren Wilson, who gunned down Michael Brown on a street in Ferguson on Aug. 9. The grand jury had options ranging from first-degree murder to no charge at all, but being the racist pigs they are, they chose no charge at all. This is why they shouldn't be using all-white grand juries. The decision seems to underscore an unwritten rule that black lives hold no value and one may kill black men without consequences or repercussions. Seriously, Bob McCulloch, you and that grand jury need to reconsider that stupid verdict. It's enough to make Patrick Stewart swear. Speaking of which, here's a clip from the gag reel for the final season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, which is coming out on Blu-ray next week:

They let the cat-like thing out of the bag

One bright yellow and cat-like, with a green leaf-haired brother, the mascots for the 2016 Olympics and Paralympics in Rio de Janeiro were launched by organisers late on Sunday, their backstory being they were born out of the joy of the Brazilian people at having been awarded the games. The mascots, who are said to represent the animals and plants of Brazil, are a key part of the Olympics merchandising campaign which is set to feature 12,000 products and is an important revenue source and a vital way of engaging the public. A public poll will be held to decide the mascots' names from a shortlist of Oba and Eba; Tiba Tuque and Esquindim; and Vinicius and Tom. But whatever name is chosen, organisers hope to raise a billion reais in retail sales from Rio 2016 branded merchandise, and are hoping the mascots help engage younger audiences in the Olympics, with a television series starring the mascots planned to run on Brazilian television next year. But at least it's a much more imaginative choice than some of the more recent mascots we've had.

Reds surge to fourth

Manchester United's elusive search for a first away win in 2014/15 came to what had initially seemed like an unlikely end this morning with a 2-1 victory over Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium. A Kieran Gibbs own goal in the second half, Wayne Rooney's galloping breakaway effort in the 85th minute, and the heroics of David De Gea at the other end of the field earned the three points. Antonio Valencia's low shot after 56 minutes was inadvertently deflected by Gibbs into his own net to give the Reds the lead, then Rooney finished off an incisive counter-attack to make it 2-0. Angel Di Maria could have made it 3-0 late on, but he missed a good chance and Olivier Giroud pulled a goal back to make it a nervy 2-1 finish. But this was a commendable performance of persistence from United in testing circumstances, as the Reds have now climbed up to fourth place, and it looks like maybe things will be better with Loser van Gaal in charge.

Hello Forty

Hello Kitty, the cat that isn't really a cat, recently turned 40. After entering the world on Nov. 1, 1974, the iconic character produced by Sanrio Co. has been loved by millions of people around the world, regardless of gender and age. Kitty, whose real name supposedly is Kitty White, is a girl who is five apples tall (two more than the Smurfs), weighs three apples, and has blood type A. She lives in the London suburbs with her parents and her twin sister Mimmy, according to Sanrio. Her favorite food is the apple pies her mother bakes, and she dreams of becoming a pianist or poet in the future. Speaking of apples, celebrity chef Jamie Oliver admits he once spiked his daughter's apple with spicy chilli after she misbehaved. Oliver made the admission while appearing on the BBC Good Food Show. The father of four said his wife Jools was outraged at the method, but that "it worked a treat". "I give them chillies for punishment," The Daily Mail reported Oliver saying. "It is not very popular beating kids any more ... and if you are a celebrity chef like me it does not look very good in the paper. So you need a few options." Oliver said he had prepared the chilli-ridden snack in reply to his tween's rude and disrespectful behaviour. "Five minutes later she thought I had forgotten and I hadn't," he told the crowd. "She asked for an apple. I cut it up into several pieces and rubbed it with Scotch bonnet [chilli] and it worked a treat. She ran up to mum and said, 'This is peppery'. I was in the corner laughing." For those of you not in the know, Scotch bonnets are a very spicy chilli, not as spicy as the bhut jolokia (aka ghost pepper) but way spicier than jalapenos. This just screams of bad parent, much like that tiger mother Amy Chua or the judge who beat his daughter while the whole thing was being taped without his knowledge. And besides, Oliver is not the only celebrity to use chilli to discipline his child. US actor and public speaker Lisa Whelchel, who was Blair on The Facts of Life, recommends a technique known as "hot saucing", where "tiny" amounts of chilli or pepper condiments are placed in a child's mouth as punishment.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Exists

This movie is a masterpiece compared to Eduardo Sanchez's other work. The critics do not seem to agree with me on that, even though Fearnet praised Exists for its editing and score, as they felt that it would help make the movie appeal to people who would not normally like found footage films. Let's hope Mr Sanchez can "find" some more footage worthy of the big screen.

Noteworthy money to be issued next year

New Zealand's banknotes are getting a makeover for the first time in 15 years, and although the same well-known faces will remain, security features have been beefed up. Today the Reserve Bank announced it will be releasing new designs of New Zealand bank notes, which will come into circulation from October next year. The last banknote upgrade was in 1999, with the change from paper to polymer. While the new designs will feature all the same well-known faces, including Sir Edmund Hillary and Kate Sheppard, the new designs and colours will be more vibrant. That's right, New Zealand's "paper" money is changing from this:

to this:

As you can see, the text of the number value of each note will be much bolder and brighter. The shape, size, and feel of the notes will also remain the same. However, the new notes will contain more sophisticated security features. These include holographic features that will help to make the notes easy to verify, but much harder to counterfeit. The transparent windows that feature in the current banknotes will also be much larger in the new designs, featuring a greater level of both design and security. But Kiwis won't be seeing these in their wallets just yet - the new $5 and $10 notes will be out next October, and the other three will be out six months later.

Get ready to say nanu-nanu to the end this festive season

The final season of Mork and Mindy is coming out on DVD in less than three weeks time. But right now, it's the twentieth anniversary of the first UK National Lottery draw. The first draw took place on 19 November 1994 with a television programme presented by Noel Edmonds. This was an hour long special, in which 49 contestants competed to become the first person to start the draw, the winner being 18-year-old Deborah Walsh. The first number to be drawn was 30. The next numbers drawn were 3, 5, 44, 14, and 22; the bonus number was 10; and seven jackpot winners shared a prize of £5,874,778 (£839,254 each). But enough about that because a new generation of New Zealand banknotes will be revealed tomorrow afternoon, when the new banknote designs will be unveiled during a media lock up at the Reserve Bank before being added to circulation late next year. While the designs will be updated, the themes of the notes will remain the same, with the same New Zealanders (or old British woman in the case of the $20 note), flora, and fauna remaining. The notes will have a more modern look, feature larger print stating note denominations, and greater colour contrast between notes. The process will cost the Reserve Bank an estimated $80 million and is the first change to New Zealand banknotes since 1999 when banknotes went from being printed on paper made from cotton to polymer.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Subway attacks

A man has been pushed to his death beneath a train on the New York subway. Police said an unidentified man pushed 61-year-old Wai Kuen Kwok onto the tracks and into the path of an oncoming train on Sunday morning. Kwok, who had been standing on the platform with his wife, was struck by a southbound train at around 8.40am at the 167th Street and Grand Concourse station. He was pronounced dead at the scene. His wife was not injured. The assailant fled but authorities have released video footage of a man wanted in connection with the horrific incident. Witnesses said they believed the man fled the subway station after shoving Kwok and jumped on a city bus. There have been three other incidents in recent years that have involved a person being pushed onto the tracks. In April 2013, a train ran over a man desperately clawing at a Manhattan subway platform after being pushed onto the tracks by a homeless suspect with whom he'd been arguing. In December 2012, another homeless man was arrested for pushing a Queens man in front of a Times Square train that fatally crushed him. And later the same month, a mumbling woman pushed a man to his death in front of a subway train in Queens. This is not on. You don't just push people in front of a train like that. It may be a good idea for a joke at the time, but you won't find it funny when the cops get involved.

99 bucks to get a tablet

The age of the $99 tablet is here, and just in time for the holiday shopping season. While you’re shopping for the latest copy of "101 Ways to Prepare Leftover Turkey" on the day after Thanksgiving, Walmart hopes you’ll also take home E Fun's newest Windows tablet, the 8-inch Nextbook. The tablet will be available at Walmart’s brick and mortar locations starting on Black Friday, November 28, for the low, low price of US$99. The device comes with 16GB of internal storage. But buyers can take advantage of a Black Friday promotion that offers a 16GB microSD card in the box, a bonus that basically doubles the storage capacity of the device. The Nextbook also comes with a one-year subscription to Office 365 Personal, including 1TB of OneDrive cloud storage, and hopefully a way to find an e-book version of "101 Ways to Prepare Leftover Turkey" - finding a free copy would be better still so you don't have to shell out even more just for the paperback version.

Singapore Wi-Fi - an expensive way to fly

Although in-flight Internet access has existed for a handful of years now, it's still pretty rare to board a flight and find out that it's offered, and after learning of a recent experience by a Singapore Airlines customer, I'm starting to think that we might be better off without it. Once in the air, Jeremy Gutsche plunked down $28.99 to experience the wonders of in-flight Internet. I doubt it needs to be said, but $29 for a service like this is really high - it's almost as if the charge is $1 for every 1,000 or so feet in the air. Nonetheless, the asinine charges didn't stop there. After deboarding, Jeremy was handed a bill for $1,200. We've all heard this story before - overage is one heck of a drug. So please do not use in-flight Wi-Fi. The Internet will still be around when you land.

Millers to be milled out

Good news, everyone - The Millers has been cancelled. One more episode will be filmed before production is shut down, at which point an awful chapter in television history will come to an end that should've come a lot sooner.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Interstellar

This is one of Christopher Nolan's best films to date. To find out just how good, you should go see it for yourself.

Trailer out for Insurgent

The revolution is on! The official trailer for Insurgent, the next installment in Veronica Roth's young-adult dystopian trilogy, was released yesterday, and if it's any indication, viewers are in for even more action. The trailer picks up where Divergent left off, with Tris (Shailene Woodley who turns 23 on Saturday), Four (Theo James), and Caleb (Ansel Elgort) rallying their band of friends in a post-apocalyptic Chicago to foil the evil doings of those now in power, led by Jeanine Matthews (Kate Winslet). Insurgent, which stars new cast member Suki Waterhouse as Marlene, hits theaters March 20 (release dates may vary) and will apparently also be released in 3D.

Guess who's back, back again? Maybach's back, tell a friend!

Mercedes-Benz has finally confirmed one of the year’s worst-kept secrets: as a possible result of its name-checking in the Lorde song Royals, the Maybach brand is making a return as a new “Mercedes-Maybach” sub-brand specializing in ultra-luxury, similar to how the existing Mercedes-AMG sub-brand specializes in performance. Along with the confirmation, Mercedes released two photos teasing the first Mercedes-Maybach-enhanced model, the Mercedes-Maybach S-Class, which has been confirmed for separate debuts at auto shows taking place in LA and Guangzhou in the coming week. Big deal. The comeback of 2014 was when Pam Dawber was on The Crazy Ones, but it's not like anybody's talking about that anymore.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Letting David Moyes take the reins

Former Manchester United boss David Moyes has been named as the new manager of Spanish club Real Sociedad. It is the 51-year-old's first job since he was sacked as United manager in April after a 10-month spell in charge. Moyes replaces Jagoba Arrasate, who was dismissed by Sociedad after a poor run of form which currently sees them lie 15th in La Liga. The Scot has signed a contract to June 2016 and will take charge for the first time at Deportivo on 22 November. We all know Moyes is going to screw this up like he did Manchester United, which begs the question: why did they pick a manager that fires blanks to replace another manager that fires blanks? Speaking of which, I'm not sure Loser van Gaal is even trying anymore.

Art upon art

Some of the new street art adorning buildings in Dunedin's warehouse precinct and the surrounding area has been defaced with graffiti (vandalism pictured). On its online social media page, Dunedin Street Art says the group "clearly made someone angry" in its effort to bring art to some of the city's blank walls. The group posted four pictures of graffiti, three of which bore the same offensive stencilled message. One of the targeted buildings was Chipmunks, a children's adventure play business, and it's not something kids turning up to a play area should have to see. It’s also not fair to the artists or owners involved to have this happen to their walls. It’s Dunedin Street Art or the building owner that has to pay for such a bad-taste joke to be removed from the buildings. If someone is going to be tagging and defacing property they need to be caught and punished (and hopefully be made to reimburse whoever paid for the removal). What gives them the right to do that? And how would they like it if somebody went to their house and wrote things on their wall (like 'Get a job you talentless git')? The only silver lining of this is that the graffiti isn't actually on the street art - it's just on the same wall but not over the art itself, which is good because removal isn't going to destroy the work.

Mindy has now lived longer than Mork

That's right, people. Pam Dawber has reached a milestone that Robin Williams will never reach - the age of 63 years and 22 days, which is a day older than when Williams died. But we have a more important milestone to discuss: Loser van Gaal ended his losing streak this morning after Juan Mata came off the bench and to the team's rescue as he fired Manchester United to a hard-fought 1-0 win over Crystal Palace at Old Trafford. The Spanish midfielder had only been on the field for a few minutes when his deflected strike squeezed between the Palace goalkeeper and the post, but his appearance was the ideal impact substitution on a day when United could not make superior possession count in front of goal. Four players received yellow cards.

Five miles down in the five boroughs

The 25-mile-per-hour (40 km/h) speed limit that went into effect in New York City yesterday did not slow a black Mercedes that blazed a path down the middle lane of Madison Avenue at a brisk 34 miles per hour (55 km/h) around 1pm Eastern Standard Time, nor did it deter the drivers of a tow truck going 32 (50 km/h) or a city bus lumbering along at 28 (45 km/h). Even a police car was spotted darting through traffic, though no emergency was apparent. In a city where any hint of open asphalt can take the edge off a day mired in traffic, the dawn of a new speed limit did not change much. Cluttered roads still seemed to dictate speed far more than did the city’s new mandate, which dropped the default limit from 30 mph to 25. Way more interesting is this edit I recently made to the Wiktionary definition of love:

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: St Vincent

Best. Movie. Ever. Need I say more?

Android Lollipop, you make my battery's power go

On Monday, Google announced the launch of Android 5.0 Lollipop. The company is known for its gradual roll-outs, but with no Nexus 4, 5, 7, or 9 yet to update the frustration has been growing. Now we know why: Lollipop has problems. Android Police got wind earlier today that a WiFi bug in the final build of Lollipop is dramatically impacting battery life. This was backed up by mass reports of the problem in the official Android Developer Forum which were quickly fused into a single thread that is now over 800 posts long. Google Android Senior Developer Trevor Johns ultimately chimed in confirming that “Android Engineering is aware of an issue affecting Nexus 5 users running Android 5.0 which causes significant 'Miscellaneous' battery usage while WiFi is enabled. This appears to be caused by an abnormally high number of IRQ wakeup events. We are continuing to investigate this issue.” Johns’ welcome candor confirms Google doesn’t yet have a fix for the bug and the many uploaded screenshots to the thread (some samples above) show “significant” is an apt description with Nexus 5 testers showing a full battery is lasting 4 hours or less. Other testers have noted that disabling WiFi eliminates the problem, but this is hardly a practical solution for a mass roll out. Furthermore it flies in the face of what Google is trying to achieve with Lollipop and its ‘Project Volta’ scheme which aims to dramatically increase battery life. Until they fix the problems with the battery, my advice would be to switch to a phone with iOS - just remember if it's not an Apple, it's crapple.

1700 POSTS!

A Riverside County, California woman has been charged for allegedly scamming dozens of Facebook friends with a fake cancer diagnosis. Cristina Lagman posted her story on her Facebook page, saying she was dying of terminal cancer and was facing financial hardship. But Murrieta police call her story a fraud. Valerie Cortes of Murrieta and her fiance say they were duped; they contributed time and money to Lagman - "gift cards for dinners and movies and spa treatments to make the last of her days more comfortable and happier" - and they even helped organize a fundraiser at a local comedy club in Murrieta. "Cristina was happy, frolicking around, drinking quite a bit, passing donation bags around, and I thought her behavior was odd since she had said she only had four to six weeks of life left," Cortes said. During the event, the comedy club owner, Rocky Osborne, said Lagman called on her friends to say nice things about her. "The strangest thing was, as I looked around, most the people that she knew didn't really even know her. So the people that were here had only known her for 30 to 60 days," Osborne said. But her story truly unraveled when Cortes offered to take her to a doctor to confirm the diagnosis because people were questioning Lagman. "She had no proof. I asked her to show me a prescription bottle, a doctor's visit, paperwork, something," Cortes said. But according to investigators, Lagman told them she had a laundry list of cancers and had been treated at a number of hospitals including Loma Linda University Medical Center and UCLA Medical Center. Investigators say they found no medical records anywhere for cancer treatment. "I am angry with her. I am disgusted by her. She has caused our community to doubt when people say they've got cancer and need help," Cortes said. I too would be angry and disgusted. Pretending to have cancer is one of the worst things one can do. It may not be as scary as when some bellend on a flight to the Dominican Republic last month pretended to have Ebola, but by conning her community out of their hard-earned cash, Lagman has become cancer and as a result, she has been charged with theft by false pretenses. Investigators believe she may have taken more than US$3,000 in gifts and donations collected on a GoFundMe site. She is expected back in court next month.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Dismantling a perfectly good memorial

A memorial to Apple Inc founder Steve Jobs has been dismantled in St Petersburg after the man who succeeded him at the helm of the company, Tim Cook, came out as gay. The 2-metre-high monument, in the shape of an iPhone, was erected outside a St Petersburg college last January by a Russian group of companies called ZEFS. Citing the need to abide by a law combating "gay propaganda", ZEFS said in a statement on Monday that the memorial had been removed on Friday - the day after Apple CEO Cook had announced he was homosexual. "In Russia, gay propaganda and other sexual perversions among minors are prohibited by law," ZEFS said, noting that the memorial had been "in an area of direct access for young students and scholars". "After Apple CEO Tim Cook publicly called for sodomy, the monument was taken down to abide to the Russian federal law protecting children from information promoting denial of traditional family values." That law is stupid, and besides the fact that Cook prefers cock (excuse the pun), a statue of an iPhone is hardly considered to be gay propaganda. It is a useful device which has games, office applications, an alarm clock, a web browser, a camera, basically whatever crap you want to put on it. And Steve Jobs, who died in 2011, was not gay.

Ten-man Reds lose derby

It was City who earned the bragging rights in the 168th Manchester derby this morning – through Sergio Aguero’s second-half winner - despite the best efforts of ten-man United at the Etihad Stadium. The Reds were forced to play over half the game with one man less than the Blues after Chris Smalling was dismissed for two bookable offences. Aguero netted the vital strike just after the hour but United made it a real battle for the hosts in spite of the numerical disadvantage. But even so, a loss is a loss, and is counted as such in the league table. Loser van Gaal seriously needs to pull his weight if the Reds are to stay in the Premiership, let alone make it to the Champions League, next season.

Here comes the jail time

By the big smiles, warm hugs, and loud cries of ululation, the video seems to show a joyous celebration. An Egyptian prosecutor looked at the same footage and saw something very different: a "satanic ceremony" with images that are "shameful, regrettable, and anger God." The men convicted were shown appearing to take part in a Nile boat wedding celebration featuring two men as the celebrants. The video went viral on social media sites. A man who said he was one of those who appeared in the video denied the allegations in a televised interview in early September. He said he was holding a birthday party for his friend and got him a silver ring as a birthday gift. That sounds logical, but people shouldn't have to make such excuses for behaviour which is tolerated in more civilised societies. Being gay doesn't make you any less of a human being. Remember this, people:

#suedlines #everybodyincourt

Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams have lost the primary round of their legal battle against Marvin Gaye’s estate over “Blurred Lines,” according to The L.A. Times. The pair, who worked together on the 2013 hit, filed the suit earlier this year upon receiving accusations from Gaye’s family that parts of “Got to Give It Up” had been copied. Gaye’s family responded with a countersuit. U.S. District Judge John Kronstadt has denied Thicke and Williams’ motion for summary judgment. His ruling found similarities between the bass lines, keyboard parts, vocal lines, melodies, and harmonies of the two songs, meaning there is enough evidence to move forward with the Gaye family’s claim. A trial is scheduled to take place in three months, but seriously, I don't care. But if Thicke and Pharrell were to marry, the former could change his name to Robin Williams.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Fury

This movie was one of the best war films ever put out. And now that I've finished with the movie review, the Bellend of the Month for October 2014 is Michael Zehaf-Bibeau, the armed attacker who shot and fatally wounded a Canadian Forces member at the National War Memorial before being shot dead in Parliament's Centre Block. The slain soldier is Corporal Nathan Cirillo, a reservist from Hamilton. Moments after Cirillo was shot at his post by the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, MPs and other witnesses reported 30 to 50 shots fired inside the main Parliament building. It was confirmed later that the gunman was shot dead inside the building, and it serves him right. People shouldn't be firing shots all over the place. Remember the Aurora shootings in July 2012? The gunman, James Eagan Holmes, faces the death penalty for his idiocy.

They've beaten the Royals (Royals)

3-2 in game seven
The Giants did it yet again
Their third title in five short years
They are the rulers (rulers)
Kings of the MLB
The Giants, they rule (they rule, they rule, they rule)
Kansas City sucks big time

That's right, people. Madison Bumgarner punctuated one of the finest World Series performances in baseball history by pitching the San Francisco Giants to their third title in five years with a 3-2 win over the Kansas City Royals in Game 7 on Wednesday night. The big left-hander came out of the bullpen to throw five scoreless innings on two days' rest, saving a Series pushed to the limit. And by winning Game 7 on the road, Bumgarner and the Giants succeeded where no team had in 3-1/2 decades. But enough about that because a new study reports that drinking lots of milk could be bad for your health. Previous research has shown that the calcium in milk can help strengthen bones and prevent osteoporosis. These benefits to bone health have led U.S. health officials to recommend milk as part of a healthy diet. But this new study found that drinking large amounts of milk did not protect men or women from bone fractures, and was linked to an overall higher risk of death during the study period. Bollocks. You can never have too much milk.

Can't Slow Data

Three years ago, AT&T warned smartphone customers with “unlimited” data plans that their connections might be slowed if they used a lot of data. Now, the Federal Trade Commission has said AT&T’s disclosure was deceptive because it was not specific enough. To that end, the commission filed a federal lawsuit, saying the company had misled customers by slowing the connections of people with unlimited plans after they used more than 2 gigabytes of data in a month. For some people who hit that threshold, downloads were slowed as much as 95 percent, essentially making their smartphones unable to access the Internet or use certain apps. The issue here is this: AT&T promised its customers unlimited data, and in many instances it has failed to deliver on that promise. As defined in the Oxford Dictionary, unlimited means "not limited or restricted in terms of number, quantity, or extent". Same goes for plans advertised as all-you-can-eat. And for any other telco thinking of copying AT&T's crap, just remember that the FTC is not the only agency to take an interest in the practice of slowing data speeds, often called throttling. In July, Tom Wheeler, chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, warned Verizon after it said it would slow data speeds of customers with unlimited data plans after they reached a certain usage level each month. Verizon subsequently abandoned the plan.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Settling for another draw

Robin van Persie’s injury-time equaliser, the answer to Didier Drogba’s headed goal early in the second half, rescued a point for Manchester United after Chelsea had been reduced to 10 men late on in a gripping encounter yesterday morning at Old Trafford. The captain smashed the ball home in the 94th minute, just after Branislav Ivanovic had given away a free kick and been sent off for his second bookable offence. Angel Di Maria’s set-piece allowed Marouane Fellaini a header which Thibaut Courtois saved, only for van Persie to drill the rebound emphatically home. But remember, it takes more than just one goal to win a game. Manchester United have now slipped to eighth place, which is worse than where they finished last season. Loser van Gaal had better prove himself this season otherwise he risks getting sacked.

The pig won't McFly in time... or will it?

Do you remember exactly what was so cool about Back To The Future II? No, it wasn't so much the large flat screen TVs or the self-lacing shoes. For many fans of the movie trilogy back in the 1980s, it was the hoverboard - the "skateboard" without wheels. Thanks to engineers at Hendo, a Silicon Valley company, that dream of owning a hoverboard is now so much closer. The company aims to deliver the first production hoverboards to its backers on Kickstarter at an event on Oct 21, 2015 - the date that Marty McFly went to in his journey to the future. However, the company have avoided linking their creation directly to the movie to avoid any legal issues. And they haven't worked out all the kinks yet - it currently works only on a metal surface, and it only takes you an inch off the ground. If they want it working just like the one in the movie, they have an uphill battle to fight over the coming year.

11. Thou shalt not drive thy car into the monument

Federal authorities have detained a man who they say admitted to driving a car into a disputed Ten Commandments monument outside the Oklahoma Capitol building, smashing it to pieces. U.S. Secret Service agent David Allison says the man was detained on Friday after he showed up at a federal building in Oklahoma City, rambling and making derogatory statements about the president. Allison says the man admitted to destroying the monument and claimed Satan told him to do it. The 6-foot-tall monument was erected in 2012 with the blessing of Oklahoma’s conservative Legislature. The American Civil Liberties Union of Oklahoma has been suing to have it removed, and they should because having a religious monument outside a government building goes against the separation of church and state. And besides, the Ten Commandments are numbered differently in some churches - for instance, Catholics and Lutherans lump the prohibitions on other gods and idolatry into one and split the prohibition on coveting into two commandments, whilst other churches have separate commandments for the prohibitions on other gods and idolatry and just one commandment starting with thou shalt not covet - so the numbers will have probably needed to be left off if they want to include all Christians.

And Oscar makes two

My nephew, Oscar Thomas Rees (picture 1), was born at 3:06am (New Zealand Daylight Time) on Thursday, weighing in at 7lb 7oz. Picture 2 is Oscar cuddled with his mother and his big sister Hazel. But enough about that because the authorities in Mali have confirmed the death of the country’s first Ebola patient - a two-year-old girl whose mother died in Guinea a few weeks ago. The World Health Organisation (WHO) has said the child had travelled by a bus from Guinea through Mali, where she was to stay with relatives, and showed symptoms of the disease. Over 40 people known to have come into contact with her have been quarantined. The child’s symptomatic state during the bus journey is especially concerning, as it presented multiple opportunities for exposures, including high-risk exposures, involving many people.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: This Is Where I Leave You

This is one of those films that I enjoyed, but the critics don't all feel the same way. On Rotten Tomatoes, the film holds a rating of 44%, based on 117 reviews, with an average rating of 5.6/10. The site's consensus reads, "This Is Where I Leave You has its moments, but given the amount of talent assembled onscreen, the rather pedestrian results can't help but feel like a letdown." On Metacritic, the film has a score of 44 out of 100, based on 39 critics, indicating "mixed or average reviews". Salis Afaque of Salis Magazine gave the film 2.5 stars. But screw them. You guys should go see this and make up your own minds. And this is where I leave tonight's film review.

Guess who's back, back again? Camera Roll's back, tell a friend!

Apple users can now download the latest version of iOS 8, and with it comes a handful of new features, including Apple Pay, iCloud Photo Library, device continuity (accessing whatever you need on every device), and the return of the Camera Roll. iOS 8.1 comes just a few weeks after the launch of the first iteration of iOS 8 for iPhones and iPads, as well as the aborted release of iOS 8.0.1, the update that locked cellular service and Touch ID functionality for many iPhone users before it was quickly pulled. To get the update now, visit Settings > General > Software Update on your iOS device. While the update requires you to be connected to Wi-Fi for it to be installed, the good news is that it's only 126MB to download — much less than the 5.7GB needed to get iOS 8. This means you won't have to delete apps and photos to get the latest software. Although iOS 8.1 is now available, you might consider holding off just a bit, in case there are any major glitches with the update. Early adopters of the botched iOS 8.0.1 will likely proceed with caution this time around, but you should update if your iDevice is compatible. It will be worth it.

iBend becomes iFire

First Bendgate, now this - a man says he was in Arizona when his brand new iPhone 6 ignited in his jeans – causing second-degree burns. He had to throw ice water on the phone to stop the searing heat. The video, which was put on YouTube, has gone viral. In the background, you can hear witnesses ask if he's OK. It apparently happened when the rickshaw he was riding in tipped over. It's a scary incident for the man, who was with his wife and kids, and many people are wondering if iPhone 6 users should be concerned. The answer: Yes and no. First and foremost, there's nothing that makes the iPhone 6 more susceptible to this than any other smartphone, but cases like this do happen. However, there is some small concern – and several cases – for exploding phones. It all has to do with the lithium batteries inside these newer smartphones. Just don't overheat, overcharge, or apply too much pressure. To see the iPhone on fire, click here.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Not going for all three points

Marouane Fellaini and Daley Blind both scored their first goals for Manchester United this morning to earn the Reds a dramatic 2-2 draw at The Hawthorns. Strikes from West Bromwich Albion's Stephane Sessegnon and Saido Berahino had earned the Baggies slender leads in each half, though the visitors showed great courage and tenacity to twice restore parity and earn a much-deserved away point in the Barclays Premier League, not to mention two of the three yellow cards. This is not good enough. One point isn't going to bring Manchester United back to the glory of the Sir Alex days. They are already behind as it is.

One SIM to fit them all

New Apple iPads allow users to choose between data plans offered by different cellular carriers without having to obtain a separate SIM from each. But that's only the beginning as embedded SIMs like the new Apple SIM have the potential to change the way all devices connect to cellular networks. The new iPad Air 2 may be thinner and faster than its predecessor, but the introduction of Apple's own SIM card is the improvement users should be the happiest about. The so-called Apple SIM lets users choose from short-term plans from carriers in the U.S. and U.K. right on the cellular versions of the iPad Air 2 and mini 3. So whenever you need it, you can choose the plan that works best for you - with no long-term commitments. And if the SIM takes off on a larger scale, that and support for 20 LTE frequency bands will make the iPads near-perfect travel companions. But until then, you'll still need SIM cards, and you'll need to make sure you have the right size for your phone or tablet.

So the FCC lets 5G be

Time marches on, and so does technology: the Federal Communications Division is in the final steps to begin developing deployment methods for fifth generation wireless services. 5G wireless is not as much a pipe dream as it might sound, as the five-member executive board of the FCC has agreed to move forward on research into 5G wireless deployment research. The crux of the matter involves investigating methods for broadcasting at 24 Ghz or higher frequencies and how to license the technology, and there are still many hoops that need to be jumped through before the first forays into 5G deployment, which is estimated to occur first on a trial basis in 2018 and a broader rollout in 2020. Research into high-speed data transfer in the 28 Ghz range has already been conducted by Korean electronics manufacturer Samsung, which yielded speeds of 7.5 Gbps in stationary locations and 1.2 Gbps in moving vehicles; this is far and above the theoretical 300 Mbps top speed of LTE and the 1 Gbps upward limit of the current 902.11ac Wi-Fi standard. 5G is looking to be a huge step up from 4G, but enough about that because a group of scientists led by Dr. Radoslaw Poleski of Ohio State University and Warsaw University Observatory of Poland discovered an ice giant planet that looks like Uranus (the planet, not the body part). The extrasolar thing is about 25,000 light years away from Earth, and its inhabitants (if there are any) won't be getting 5G services anytime soon.

The best OS for your machine just got better

Apple’s latest OS X version, Yosemite, is ready for download, but simply installing the system is only the first step in a very interesting journey. Apple has made significant changes across OS X, improving the Safari browser, Notifications Center, Spotlight searching, and even how the desktop finds synergy with iOS devices. For instance, Yosemite has been built from the ground up to support Retina displays like the one deployed on the new iMac. As such, the new OS is chock-full of new visual optimizations, including a new font, translucency effects, and interface tweaks that advance the OS X design language. And then there's Handoff, a feature that lets you launch an app on one device (say, your Mac), and then “hand off” that activity to another device (your iPhone or iPad). It’s enabled in Mail, Messages, Maps, and a host of other apps. An don't forget Spotlight, which started as a relatively simple system search tool, but in Yosemite, it’s a full-fledged Internet crawler that can not only rifle through your OS, but also the web, Wikipedia, news headlines, maps, Bing, the App Store, iTunes, and even movie show times. But more so than any other built-in app, the Safari browser has probably changed the most in the update from Mavericks to Yosemite. So go download it. Even if you don't have a Mac, buy one and if it doesn't already have Yosemite installed, download it.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Annabelle

As creepy as the genre gets. To find out just how creepy, go see it.

Guess who's back, back again? Leno's back, tell a friend!

Jay Leno devastated many of his fans when he waved goodbye to his beloved Tonight Show after 22 years in February, but the TV host is making a dramatic return to the small screen with a brand new show all about his love of cars, which is due to take a primetime slot. That's right, world. Get ready for the crap. It has been confirmed that the 62-year-old will front a show titled Jay Leno’s Garage, based on his Emmy-winning series, and it will mark a new direction for the comedian as it’ll explore his passion with cars and will cater to everyone with topics including collector’s items and investments. Confirming the new series which will air on CNBC in 2015, Leno said in a statement: "This show will be about anything that rolls, explodes, and makes noise. We hope to highlight the passion and the stories behind the men and women who made the automobile the greatest invention of the 20th century.”

Five-digit theft, zero-second jail term

A Dunedin woman has avoided a prison sentence for systematically stealing almost NZ$23,000 from her employer over a 10-month period. Sandra Joy Kennedy was, until March this year, an accounts assistant at Dunedin-based PS Marketing South Island Ltd. Between May 2013 and March 17, she cashed 44 company cheques without authority, in the process fabricating letters from customers about returning products and asking for refunds. By this method, she stole just under $23,000 from her employer, going as far as accessing the company's computer accounting system to change spreadsheets to hide what she had done. Anomalies were noticed in the system in March and inquiries led to Kennedy being arrested and charged. She pleaded guilty in the Dunedin District Court in August to charges of causing a $22,978 loss to PS Marketing by deception and directly accessing the company's computer accounting system, thereby causing a loss. Naturally, the company owner was devastated by what Kennedy had done and the huge breach of trust involved, and the victim was upset the defendant had lied and other employees had been placed under suspicion. A second person in the company was upset, not only about the actual loss, but about the amount of time spent trying to work out what had happened. That victim expressed disbelief and anger about what Kennedy had done and sorrow for the other employees who had been lied to. The aggravating factors in this are the premeditation and reasonably lengthy time involved, the significant amount stolen with little prospect of repayment, the substantial breach of trust, and the effect on the owners of the business, not to mention Kennedy's previous convictions for dishonesty. Even with all that in mind, she was lucky to avoid jail time. Instead, Kennedy was sentenced to concurrent terms of six months' home detention with special conditions, 200 hours' community work, and reparation of $22,978. And you wonder why crime is such a problem all over the world.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Being too old for Facebook

And no, I don't mean parents. I mean a 114-year-old woman named Anna Stoehr. Anyone can lie about his or her age on the Internet, but Stoehr actually had to, if she were to join her friends and family on Facebook. Stoehr is the oldest living person in Minnesota, and celebrated her 114th birthday on Sunday. She recently befriended Verizon sales representative Joseph Ramireza, a Verizon sales representative who sold an iPhone to Stoehr's 85-year-old son. Ramireza was so impressed with Anna that he made the 2-hour drive from the Twin Cities to Plainview, where Anna currently resides in a nursing home, to teach her how to email, search for things on Google, use Apple's FaceTime video chat, and join Facebook, the last of which didn't prove easy for Stoehr, though she can blame Zuckerberg and co. for that. Facebook only lets you use dates later than 1905 as your date of birth, and Stoehr was born in 1900. So she did what many people do on the Internet, and lied about her age. Hence, Stoehr's Facebook friends were notified that she turned 99 (meaning she took ten more years off her "age" than she had to) on Sunday. I've heard of inconveniences but this one is just stupid and unnecessary. Just because Facebook is aimed at newer, digital generations doesn't mean that the very old should be shut out.

Blade Runner to run back to court

What kind of sentence will Oscar Pistorius get for killing girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp? South African judge Thokozile Masipa will have wide latitude in deciding the sentence after several days of legal arguments and testimony that begun today (local time). Last month she convicted the double-amputee runner of culpable homicide, or negligent killing. Sentences for such a crime can range from a suspended sentence and a fine to as many as 15 years in prison, and South African lawyers vary widely in predictions as to what sentence Pistorius will get. Some say he is unlikely to go to jail because defence lawyers will successfully argue that the athlete is a first-time offender with a disability that would subject him to particular hardship in prison, while others anticipate that Pistorius will be sentenced to some prison time because of the severity of his crime. But whatever route is taken, there are many factors both mitigating and aggravating that make it difficult to tell which way the judge will go on this one, and people in New Zealand can rest assured they won't have to wait seven months for news of the verdict like with the episode of The Crazy Ones with Pam Dawber in it - that will air in New Zealand the same day Microsoft plans to cut off Skype services to India. While Skype users in India will no longer be able call Indian landlines and mobiles from November 10, they will still be able to send SMS messages to mobiles from within India. Additionally, if they are travelling outside of India, users will be able to call on Indian landlines and mobiles from their Skype account. Microsoft says that there are no further changes and other services will continue as normal. Users will be able to make free Skype-to-Skype calls within India and outside, international Skype calls from India to landlines and mobiles in other countries, and more.

Poo to Mouth

Fecal transplants just got easier to swallow. The procedure, in which the bacteria from a healthy gut are implanted into an unhealthy one, has gotten a lot of buzz over the past year. But the treatment generally requires a colonoscopy — a procedure that's both uncomfortable and expensive. In a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, researchers report that the same success rate can be reached by processing the healthy excrement into capsules and administering the pills by mouth. That's right, people, there will soon be pills that are literally full of crap. The process starts the same way as usual: exceptionally healthy young people — those that pass all requirements for blood donation, as well as being screened for other health factors — provide stool samples, which are then blended with medical-grade saline and filtered. But instead of that uniform liquid being pumped into a patient, it's concentrated into a single capsule. Another layer of capsule goes on top, and the whole thing is kept frozen. A single treatment requires a gulp-worthy 30 pills — 15 on the first day and 15 on the second. But don't knock it: in a trial of 20 patients, it brought normal bowel health and function to 18 — which is the same rate of success seen in more invasive methods. Plus it's cheaper: the entire course is estimated to cost US$500 — one sixth the price of either a colonoscopy or a standard course of antibiotics. This begs the question: why didn't anybody think of shoving that crap down our throats (pun intended) sooner?

Ebola, Caribbean Style

A man on a flight that left Philadelphia for an island paradise triggered a caught-on-camera Ebola scare on his plane when he reportedly sneezed and said, "I have Ebola, you are all screwed." US Airways Flight 845 left Philadelphia en route to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, just after 10 a.m. Wednesday. When it arrived shortly after 1 p.m. local time, passengers were told to stay on the plane as crews in hazmat suits came onto the aircraft. The whole thing appeared to be a prank. US Air said the flight was checked, and vacationers were allowed to go on their way. “We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused, but the safety of our customers and employees is our first priority," the airline added. It wasn’t immediately clear whether the passenger, who according to reports had no history of travel to Ebola-stricken parts of West Africa, was charged, but he should be. Air travel is already scary enough what with pilot error, plane crashes, hijackings, bomb threats, losing your luggage, and the two Malaysian Airlines flights that went missing earlier this year. We do not need idiots like him ruining everyone's good time.

FRIDAY FILM BEAT: Dracula Untold

Not much to say about this one, except if you haven't seen it, you're really missing out.

Downey announcement a bit of a downer

Just as quickly as he got their hopes up, Robert Downey Jr. has dashed fans’ hopes for an Iron Man 4 movie, revealing that there are currently no plans for another installment despite claiming just hours before that he has been in negotiations with Marvel. The 49-year-old got everyone excited early on Tuesday when he told Ellen DeGeneres on her chat show that the studios have drawn up plans for a fourth Iron Man film and several other Marvel superhero flicks for the near future. He told the host: "I know there’s going to be a bunch more Marvel movies, and they have big ideas of how to do it best, and we’re in the middle of negotiations,” before confirming: “Ok, yes. Yes.” Hmm… It seems either Robert got his wires crossed or he received a furious phone call from Marvel after the interview as just hours later during his appearance on The Late Show With David Letterman, Rob did a complete u-turn on his previous comments, telling Dave that there will definitely not be another Iron Man film at all. "There's no plans for an Iron Man 4. It's a valid question why not. Like, it hasn't made enough money or something? Yeah, I guess they have too much money, or something,” he told Letterman. But it's not as big a shock as a 60-year-old man coming round from an operation to find that he had been circumcised without prior permission. That happened to a Scottish man named David Duffy, who has been given £2,000 in compensation from Glasgow Royal Infirmary following the incident, as well as a pretty red-faced apology from the hospital. He reportedly woke up to find 11 stitches where he once had foreskin and, understandably, wasn’t best pleased. He had actually been scheduled to have his penis straightened - and that procedure was, incidentally, successful. It was just the unwanted freebie that was the problem. Much as we’d love to rise above the cheap pun, what a cock-up.

7th Hell for cast of 7th Heaven

Not only is today my 26th birthday, it is also Matt Damon's 44th and Jesse Jackson's 73rd. It is not a very happy birthday, however, for the cast of 7th Heaven. Stephen Collins, whom fans of the show will know as minister Eric Camden, is being seen in a new light after TMZ obtained a sad and shocking audio tape featuring Collins discussing three instances of child molestation. Also, it has only just been reported that Sarah Goldberg, who also appeared on 7th Heaven, died on Sept. 27 of natural causes at the age of only 40; a heart ailment is suspected in the death. Her character, Sarah Glass Camden, was a rabbi’s daughter whose interreligious marriage to character Matt Camden, the son of Collins' character the Rev. Eric Camden, was a favorite plot line among fans.

BAD IDEA OF THE WEEK: Letting kids near drugs

Not emptying all the drugs from your old hand-me-downs before passing them on should also be up there, and a Delaware mother has just learnt that the hard way. Her 4-year-old daughter passed out packets of heroin she found in her mother's backpack to her day care mates, thinking they contained candy. Delaware State Police say the girl found the bags in a backpack her mother gave her to use after hers was ruined by a family pet. The pack contained 249 bags of heroin weighing 3.7 grams. Day care providers at the Hickory Tree Child Care Center in Selbyville called police when they noticed some children with the bags. None had been opened, but several children who came in contact with the bags were taken to area hospitals as a precautionary measure and were released after being examined. Because of that stupid mistake, the mother faces charges of maintaining a drug property and endangering the welfare of a child. Next time she'll be more careful and empty out all the drugs before passing on property, or better yet, not have any drugs stashed among said property in the first place.

Reds well and truly back on winning territory

Manchester United head into the latest international break on a high this morning after a second consecutive 2-1 home victory at Old Trafford, this time against Everton, a side that did the double over the Reds last season (and we all know that Moyes is to blame for the Reds losing both those games). New boys Angel Di Maria and Radamel Falcao grabbed the goals to overcome Steven Naismith's reply, but what really saved Loser van Gaal from losing was David De Gea saving a Leighton Baines penalty at the end of the first half. No yellow or red cards were shown, but what matters here is the three points, and they're going to need more three-pointers to at least qualify for the Europa League next season.

The Seized Art of Misappropriation

Artworks belonging to former Philippine first lady Imelda Marcos have been seized by authorities who claim they were acquired with stolen state funds. A small number of works were taken away from properties owned by the 85-year-old on the order of the courts. Pieces by Picasso, Gauguin, and other masters are thought to be in the possession of the family of the country's former dictator. Mrs Marcos lived a lavish lifestyle, possibly of the type known to fans of Ricky Martin as "la vida loca", during her husband's 21-year rule. She is best known, however, for amassing a huge collection of designer shoes during the family's tenure in power, but has never been imprisoned despite being charged with a number of crimes. This could be a good time for the courts to scrutinise her shoe collection and all the other expensive stuff in her possession, as there is a chance that those could've also been bought with misappropriated funds. Speaking of funds, Catholic priest Timothy Kane had a sexual relationship with a Michigan prison inmate, and embezzled money from the Archdiocese of Detroit's Angel Fund charity to get money for the inmate and his family, according to a confession the priest made after his arrest. Kane's confession was read on Thursday to a Wayne County Circuit Court jury by Detective Cory Williams, an investigator for the Wayne County Prosecutor's Office who arrested the priest at the St. Gregory the Great Catholic Church rectory in northwest Detroit eight months ago. His trial resumes next week.